Author's Note: To all of you faithful readers and authors on this site, I apologize for not updating in a while. I hope you like this chapter.

Freddy: I hope I get to kill some little piggies in this Chapter, Synn.

Synn: Well (gulps) I have a better idea in mind. You might just like it!

Freddy: I damn well better like it (Roars) Or else you'll be my next little piggy…Sweet dreams, bitch!

Synn: (rolls eyes) Freddy, I'm not scared of you. You can't do a thing to me.

Freddy: Is that so? (lunges)

Synn: (Sidesteps Freddy and puts him in suspended animation with super author powers) Told you so! You can't hurt me! I'm the author of this story! So, HAHAHA!!

Freddy: (grumbling) Damn broad.

Djiin: Synn, I think this is an improvement! (laughing) Can you keep him like this?

Freddy: (growling) Once I get out of this, I will slash you into ribbons, Djinn.

Synn: Boys, settle down…you don't want to be tortured like our beloved guest hostage! (points to Ash, who is wearing a French maid uniform…complete with short skirt and feather duster)

Freddy & Djinn: (mouths shut)

Synn: On with this chappie! (cracks neck and starts typing)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the mentioned characters in the story, except for me. Enjoy the show!

Ash slunk around the Surreal Life house, grumbling and swearing to himself as he dusted.

"Stupid ugly bastards" he growled, trying to think of a way to escape the clutches of the foolish wish he made.

"Ohhhh Ashley!" Freddy taunted from across the room "You missed a spot!"

Ash spun around angrily to face Freddy.

"What the hell are you talking about, ugly? I cleaned that up two seconds ago!"

With a wave of his hand, Freddy made a fresh pile of doggie doo appear on the floor. Ash groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Anyone here own a pooper scooper?" Ash muttered, looking for something to pick up the mess.

"This was a brilliant idea, Djinn" Freddy said, laughing hard as they watched Ash bend down to pick up the doggie doo with the dustpan in his French maid costume. "I guess you're off the hook as my personal punching bag"

"Gee thanks" Djinn replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes "You are most gracious (under his breath) Son of a hundred maniacs"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that" Freddy said, narrowing his eyes at Djinn.

"So Pinhead" Djinn said, turning to the cenobite "Besides Ash as our new maid, what's on the agenda for today?"

Pinhead picked up the Surreal Life newspaper and began to read.

"Today we run a daycare" Pinhead said, frowning "A daycare?"

"Oooohhhh" Freddy said, snickering evilly "Lots of little piggies to kill!!"

"A special request goes out to Freddy from the show censors" Pinhead continued, suppressing a laugh "No killing the children."

"Awww c'mon!" Freddy moaned, swearing "Can't they give the Springwood Slasher a break?"

"Apparently not" Candyman quipped, thinking of ways to entertain the kids "We should probably make the best of it. Why not give something back to the community that we love to scare so much?"

"I'll set up a shadow puppet theatre" Pinhead volunteered, eager to do his part. "Kids like that stuff, nowadays, right?"

"I'll use the kitchen to make cupcakes with the kids" Candyman said, smiling "We can make honey oatmeal cupcakes. Kids like honey"

Jason took the pad of paper and scribbled something down before handing it to Pinhead.

"Jason says that he'll do Arts and Crafts with Leatherface" Pinhead read aloud, nodding with approval.

"I'll play tag and stuff with the kids" Chucky said, unsure of what else to do "That way, I can keep up with them"

"I'll do a magic show for the kids" Djinn said, smirking "Maybe I can do the disappearing lady act with Frederica!"

"Screw you" was all Freddy could muster as he was thinking "I'll tell the kids stories then. Everyone likes storytime…and then it will be nappy time"

Michael took the pad of paper from Jason and wrote something down before handing it to Candyman.

"Michael says he'll show the kids how to make jack 'o lanterns" Candyman read for Michael. "Great idea. Halloween is coming up!"

"Then it's all settled" Pinhead said, standing up "Apparently the kids will be here in less than an hour so let's get the place ready"

The housemates all got up and got everything ready. The doorbell rang half an hour later.

Grumbling and swearing, Ash answered the door, relieved that he could wear a butler suit instead of the maid's outfit.

"Hello" Ash said, flashing the first parents and children a winning smile "Welcome to the Daycare of Horror"

"So this is the right place" the young father said, eyeing Ash weirdly "Excuse me sir, but are you wearing makeup?"

Ash's face turned a beet red.

"Umm…ahh" Ash stammered, regaining his composure while he silently cursed Freddy for being an ass "It's for effect. Please come inside."

The parents warily took their children inside, not knowing what was to happen.

"As you can see" Ash said, taking the parents on a tour "The housemates enjoy entertaining children and are more than happy to watch them for a while"

"Oh my god" the young mother gasped, laughing as Chucky approached them "Does that doll really talk and move by himself?"

"See for yourself lady!" Chucky replied, glaring at her "Does that satisfy your thirst for knowledge?"

"I like you" the couple's 5 year old girl, with little brown pigtails and wide blue eyes said, giving Chucky a hug.

"Uhhh…I like you too!" Chucky replied, hugging her back as amicably as possible.

"These guys are a bunch of freaks" Tristan's 8 year old brother Jacob said snidely, rolling his blue eyes "Why can't we go to Grandma's?"

"We'll be picking Tristan and Jacob up in an hour" the father said, kissing his little girl goodbye "Now you two be good and listen to these nice people"

With that, they exited the house, leaving the kids with Ash, who was ready to unleash them on a station.

"So kids" Ash said, trying his best to be polite "What would you like to do?"

"I like dollies" Tristan said, keeping Chucky in a bear hug "What's your name, dollie?"

"My name is Chucky" Chucky replied, amazed at the little girl's strength "Would you like to play with me?"

With that, Chucky detached himself from Tristan's death grip and led her to his station.

"And what about you, little boy?" Ash asked before he was promptly saturated with Jacob's saliva.

"I'm not a little boy, you freak" Jacob hissed, launching another spitball at him "I'll do whatever I feel like"

"You little--" Ash hissed, lunging at Jacob who ran away to play with his sister and Chucky. The doorbell rang again.

"Stupid little screwhead" Ash muttered, wiping the spit off of his chin with his good arm before opening the door to a new host of parents. "Welcome to the Daycare of Horror"...

… In a matter of minutes, the mansion was filled with the gleeful squeals of the children. Chucky enjoyed playing tag with the ones at his station. They were mercifully well-behaved and played fairly. He was impressed.

Pinhead successfully captivated the children he was with, doing his shadow puppets. The children watched him, mesmerized as he entertained them. Only one child refused to go near him because of his pins and was sent to her parents, crying in fear.

Jason and Leatherface were a big hit with the older children at their arts and crafts table. Despite the lack of communication, everything went off without a hitch. Jason took a particular liking to a young child named Patrick, who was a recent leukemia patient. The child's hairless head reminded Jason of his days as a young boy and he took great care in making sure Patrick enjoyed himself. He even let Patrick sit on his lap while they made shapes out of construction paper.

Candyman had a bit of a struggle showing the children how to bake with one hand and nearly lost his patience when a couple of young boys only paid attention to his hook. But the batches of cupcakes were perfect.

Michael enjoyed making the jack 'o lanterns with the children, taking great care to cut for them so that they wouldn't get hurt. He was another big hit with his batch of children, who seemed to enjoy hanging around him.

Djinn had a hard time with his magic tricks. No matter how harmless the trick was, either one smart-assed kid would scoff, telling him it wasn't real, or a younger child would cry. He was reaching the end of his rope, wishing he could find a way to make them all happy.

"Okay, kids" Djinn announced, making a top hat appear out of nowhere "How many of you like bunny rabbits?"

Most of the small children raised their hands while Jacob, the holy terror, yelled "BORING!!"

Djinn finally snapped, as he was sick of Jacob's little scoffs and outbursts.

"Okay kid" he hissed, glaring at Jacob "You have been insolent all day long, scoffing at everything we've done to keep you entertained. Either you stay here and enjoy the show with the other kids or you sit in the corner"

Jacob looked at Djinn warily, unafraid, as he was put in the corner once by every station.

"Bite me, genie" Jacob said, spitting at him.

Growling, Djinn grabbed Jacob by the arm and marched him to Freddy's station.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Freddy said, eyeing Jacob before glaring at Djinn

"I thought maybe you'd enjoy showing Jacob some manners" Djinn said, peeved "I'm sure you can set him straight"

"I'm not afraid of you!" Jacob said, spitting at Freddy, who glowered at the defiant child.

"Well you should be" Freddy growled, smiling menacingly before nodding to Djinn. "Do you know what happens to bad little piggies like you?"

"I'm not afraid of you!" Jacob repeated, kicking Freddy in the shin. Freddy yowled in pain, jumping up and down before deciding on a plan of action.

With a wave of his hand, Freddy made Jacob sit in a chair, rendering him unable to kick out or move.

"Now, little piggy" Freddy hissed moving his finger knives closer to Jacob's face "Let me tell you a little story about a boy named Jacob"

Freddy proceeded to tell a gruesome story about murdering a little boy in his sleep. Djinn smirked as Jacob's eyes grew wider and wider in fear as Freddy explained every gory detail vividly.

"I…I want my mommy" Jacob said, sobbing as Freddy paused "I want my daddy"

"And do you know why I told you this story, Jacob?" Freddy said, smiling evilly at the frightened child.

"N..No" Jacob said, sniffling as the chair he was sitting on disappeared.

"Because it will happen to you if you continue being a bad little boy" Freddy said, satisfied with the result "Now, will you be a good boy?"

"Y..Yes" Jacob sniffed, wiping his eyes "I want my mommy"

"Your mommy will be here in a few minutes, Jacob" Djinn said, smiling at Freddy gratefully "Now let's go back and enjoy the magic show"…

… The parents all arrived on time, picking up children that didn't want to leave. The mansion was filled with pleading voices and the banshee-like crying of children.

'Oh god' Ash thought, rolling his eyes 'Make it stop. Take your miserable little bastards home'

Crying children were dragged out of the house. Jacob's parents came last, puzzled by how animated Tristan was and how quiet and white Jacob was. Shaking their heads in amazement, they thanked Ash and left, wondering what could have caused their hellraiser son to be quiet…

"Thank god that's over" Ash muttered to himself, closing the door after them. "The worst is over"

"Oh Ashley" he heard Freddy call mockingly as he suddenly felt a draft.

"Oh come on!" Ash growled, looking down at his clothes, which had magically changed back into the maid uniform "Give me a break!"

Author's note: Ha ha ha. I know it got a little scary there for Jacob, so I apologize to anybody who was offended by Freddy's mode of discipline. I'm not a parent myself so I do not know how to handle an out-of-control boy who likes to raise hell for people. Please don't hurt me! (cowers under desk)

Freddy: (musing) So, something does scare our almighty author! (laughs evilly)

Synn: (jumps up to face Freddy) I wouldn't go that far. (uses author powers to lock him in a room with several Jacobs spitting and kicking at him)

Freddy: (screaming) Aggghhh! Okay okay!!! You were right!!! Let me out! Let me oooouuuuutttt!!!

Synn: (smirking…waves a hand and makes the torture disappear)

Freddy: (panting) Are you trying to give me a goddamn heart attack?

Synn: (smiles innocently) Can evil dream masters have heart attacks?

Djinn: I'll be more than happy to watch you test that theory.

Freddy: (waves hand and puts Djinn in the same torture scenario) Enjoy! (Starts roaring with laughter)

Ash: (struggling to get comfortable in his French maid outfit) And I thought I had problems…remind me never to piss you off again, Synn!

Synn: (laughs as Djinn screams for Freddy to let him out while pondering a good idea for the next chapter)