Author's Note: Now that I've successfully tortured two great horror mavens, I'd like to extend my authoring skills further.

Jason silently approaches Synn, writing something down on the pad of paper.

Synn: Hey Jason! (takes the pad to read) You like my story so far? Awww thanks! (Gives Jason a hug and is promptly covered in slime) Ummm Jason, you might want to change your clothes. You're oozing all over me!

Jason: (takes pad again and writes something else down before handing it back to Synn)

Synn: No need to apologize Jason, I know you can't help it!

Ash: (clears throat and approaches them) May I be of assistance Synn? You're dripping eau d'entrails all over my nice clean floor! (proceeds to use paper towels on Synn's chest with his only hand)

Synn: (recoils) Get your hand off of me, Ash! (slaps him away)

Ash: Hey! It ain't my fault I'm attracted to your tits! (advances)

Jason: (steps between Ash and Synn and picks Ash up by the collar of his uniform)

Ash: Put me down, ugly! (thrashes about, giving the whole world the most disgusting sight)

Synn: (shaking head) Thanks, Jason. I owe you one!

DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters mentioned in my story, nor do I own the concept of The Surreal Life. Enjoy!

Freddy was the first to awaken that day. He sauntered to the front door, where he promptly picked up the current issue of the Surreal Life Newspaper.

"Blah, blah, blah" Freddy muttered aloud before stopping "What the--! Sam Raimi is coming here? No way!"

Ash burst into the kitchen in his maid uniform at the mention of his creator.

"I knew it" Ash screamed happily, twirling around in his uniform "Sam is finally coming to save me from this horror!"

"Hey!" Freddy snarled, waving his hand "Pipe down, Ashley"

Ash shut his mouth involuntarily, glaring at Freddy, who continued to read the paper out loud.

"I heard screaming" Chucky said, running into the room "What's going on today?"

"The Sam Raimi is coming to the mansion today" Freddy said, handing Chucky the paper "He wants to use his creative genius to produce and direct a movie using the housemate of his choice!"

"No way!" Chucky exclaimed excitedly, reading "How will he choose?"

"Apparently, he's going to go over our movies with us before he makes the final decision" Freddy said, thinking of the possibilities of new piggies being afraid of him.

"He's going to pick me" Chucky said, climbing up onto his chair at the kitchen table "I just know it"

"As if" Freddy said, scoffing "Kids won't be afraid of dolls that come to life anymore. Just look at those fucking Furbys"

Jason walked into the room, with Candyman and Pinhead in tow.

"What's going on?" Candyman demanded, rubbing sleep out of his eyes "I heard screaming"

"Guess whose coming to the mansion today!" Freddy said, taunting him like a kid with a secret.

Candyman glanced over at the table and got his answer.

"Ahhh that genius director Sam Raimi is coming here" Candyman said, nodding with approval "Now that is a great idea"

"Yes" Pinhead said, savoring the idea "He can take the Lament Configuration to a whole new level"…

… All of the housemates sat in the living room, awaiting the arrival of the famed director. Each slasher had his own level of nervousness rising.

"Come on" Chucky groaned impatiently, kicking the ottoman he was sitting on "Get here already!"

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Ash opened it to see his creator, famed director Sam Raimi on the doorstep.

"Hello Sam" Ash said quietly, in a semi-pleading tone "Please help me out of here!"

Sam Raimi stared at his creation in puzzlement.

"Good to see you, Ash" Sam said, eyeing the French maid uniform warily "And no, I won't help you out of here. I'm not here to help you get out of another one of your situations! I want to make a hit movie!"

Sam walked past Ash, who was cursing under his breath.

All of the housemates stood up as Sam walked into the room, taking each of the slashers in his gaze, one by one.

"Hello guys" he said, his creative genius beginning to work "And how are all you horror mavens today?"

"Uhh great" Chucky said, trying to be the model candidate "How are you today, Mr. Raimi?"

"You guys can all call me Sam" was his unfaltered reply "So, who wants to go first?"

Michael stood up and walked slowly towards Sam.

"Hello Michael" Sam said, extending his hand to shake "I must say that John Carpenter did a good job with you"

Michael nodded as if to thank him and led him to his director's chair, strategically placed next to the big screen plasma television set.

Sam sat down while Michael popped a tape into the VCR…

… After hours of mind boggling cheesy horror flicks, Sam had a decision to make and promptly had all the housemates leave the main room. He sighed and cracked his neck as his eyes traveled to his notepad. It was time to make his decision.

"Michael Myers would have made a great character" Sam thought, looking absently at the notes he had written "But Rob Zombie took that flick over"

He then flipped the page to Chucky, and immediately flipped to the next one, shaking his head ruefully at the living doll concept. He did the same with Candyman.

"Pinhead is a good concept" Sam said to himself, thinking of the possibilities "But I want to make improvements…and Pinhead needs none"

After looking over his notes on the other housemates, he finally made his decision.

"Jason" he said, satisfied with his decision "Nobody knows how the whole thing started. I think a prequel might be a good idea so people can understand Jason more"

Armed with his decision, Sam called the housemates back into the room. One by one, each housemate filed in and sat down near the director.

"I've made my decision" Sam announced, standing up and leisurely stretching "Now I will admit, all the ideas sounded good. It was a tough decision"

"Well?" Freddy asked eagerly, waiting for Sam's answer.

Sam paused momentarily, enjoying the eagerness he saw from each housemate.

"I've chosen Jason" Sam finally said, after his moment's silence "Since nobody knows how his death really occurred, I've decided to produce and direct a prequel to the Friday the 13th Series"

The room erupted into disappointed groans as Jason stood up to shake hands with Sam.

"Booo" Chucky exclaimed, taking out a knife to brandish at the unfazed director "I demand a recount"

"I think Mr. Raimi made a good decision" Candyman volunteered, happy that Jason was chosen "Congratulations, Jason"

"I concur" Pinhead agreed, nodding "Congratulations, Jason"

"Yeah, yeah" Freddy grumbled sarcastically, mimicking the other two "Congrats, maggot head"…

Author's Note: Wow. Why didn't I think of that before? Sam Raimi had such great success with the Evil Dead Trilogy and with the Spiderman movies. Why not do a prequel to the Friday the 13th series?

Sam Raimi: (reading over Synn's work) Sounds like you're a big fan of my work.

Synn: Uhhh thank you, Mr. Raimi. (stutters)

Sam Raimi: Always nice to meet fans.

Ash: (muttering inaudible swear words in the background)

Freddy: Someone's in love (points to Synn's reddening face and Sam's friendly expression)

Synn: Shut up Krueger! (uses author powers to glue his mouth shut) Ignore Freddy, Mr. Raimi, he has a problem with speaking out of turn.

Sam Raimi: That's no problem, Miss Synn. (stifles a laugh as Freddy turns blue from struggling to breathe) A genius author like you needs a quiet environment to continue creating this masterpiece. (smiles at the blushing author)

Ash: (clears throat) I'd hate to break up this Kodak moment, but Sam, will you please help me get outta here? I dunno how much longer I can stand this crap! They plan to make me eat dog food tomorrow!

Sam Raimi: (ignoring Ash) Do you mind if I took care of Ash for you? He's getting on my nerves!

Synn: (grins evilly) Oh not at all, Mr Raimi…after all, he is your creation. Go right ahead!

Sam Raimi: (goes to Ash and starts beating him over the head with his director's chair) Stop embarrassing me, you moron! I've directed big stars like Liam Neeson and Gene Hackman. Show me some respect!

Synn: (laughs at the hilarious sight as she thinks of ideas for her next chappie) On with the show!

(And, as a disclaimer for this little part, I do not know Sam Raimi personally nor do I have any kind of affiliation with this brilliant director! I am just a big fan. So, therefore, this little sidebar is just a part of my much overdone imagination. But it is funny!)

Djinn: Call the paramedics! (bursts out laughing) I think Freddy is suffocating.