Author's note: Things were starting to get interesting with our housemates, but something new needs to be thrown into the mix. And a veryspecial thanks goes to Darkness Takes Over, one of my faithful reviewers. Below is her suggestion, word per word:

Darkness Takes Over I have a suggestion, on a similar reality tv show in the UK there are some evictions where the housemates would put either or two persons up for eviction - people they don't like and they have to give their reasons too - just thought I would give you an idea.

So, Surreal Life fans, brace yourselves for an elimination chappie! And, thank you again for your suggestion, Darkness Takes Over!

If anyone else has any suggestions for the next chapters, don't be shy! I am always looking for ideas.

Ash: (reading over Synn's typing as he's hiding from Sam Raimi) Elimination time, huh?

Synn: (a bit peeved at the interruption) Yes.

Ash: (clearing his throat as he thrusts out his huge chin) May I be so bold as to ask if I'm included in that?

Synn: (makes a face as she smells wet dog food on his breath) Not on your life, pal! You're a hostage, not a houseguest!


Sam Raimi: (rushes up to the author's desk, huffing and puffing from running around, searching for his creation) There you are, Ash! I'm not done with you yet! (grabs Ash by the chin and drags him away for another untimely beating)

Synn: (chuckles as the room is suddenly filled with Ash screaming for mercy) On with the show!!!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the slasher characters mentioned here, no do I own the Surreal Life. Got it? Now leave me alone! LMAO!

…The next morning, Candyman was the first housemate up. He quickly retrieved the Surreal Life Newspaper with his good hand on the doorstep and leafed through the pages, reading silently.

"Hey Candyman" Chucky greeted him from the kitchen as he walked in "What's up for today?"

Candyman remained silent, moving his lips as he read.

"Oh, don't tell me" Freddy exclaimed, appearing in his chair "Candyman has finally turned into the dumb mute we knew he'd become"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that" Candyman said, lowering the paper enough to peer over the top. He then proceeded to glare at Freddy, who shrugged, snickering.

"So what does the paper say, Captain Hook?" Freddy inquired, resting his chin on his gloved hand.

"Looks like one of us is going to be facing an untimely eviction" Candyman replied, gently setting the paper down. "There will be a contest today to determine who will be gone by evening"

A sly, scary smile crept across Freddy's face.

"You mean I have the chance to lose and finally go out to kill my little piggies?" he exclaimed hopefully "Oh let it be true!"

"Not so fast, Fred" Chucky said, glancing at the open paper "It looks like you were the first chosen to be the Horror King today. Whoever is the chosen Horror King cannot be eliminated or nominated for elimination. Man, those producers think of everything!"

Freddy slammed his gloved fist on the table, making the sugar bowl fall off the edge and shatter.

"Good going, Colonel Extra Crispy" Djinn said sarcastically, entering the kitchen "Be glad we have Ashley to clean that up"

"Kiss Ash's boomstick" was Freddy's reply, shocking the room, and even himself "Oh…shiiiitttt!! Now I'm talking like Ash!"

"I think dear Ashley has grown on our dear Freddy" Djinn taunted, laughing hard "I hear wedding bells"

Djinn's laughing was cut short when he found himself standing in the family room, now donning Ash's French Maid uniform.

"Fuck you, Krueger!" Djinn's curse was audible all over the house as Candyman, Freddy, and Chucky all roared with laughter.

"Hey!" Ash exclaimed, walking into the kitchen wearing Djinn's outfit "What the hell happened here?"

"You have the day off, Ashley" Freddy boomed, still chuckling "You're free of all your maidly duties"

"Groovy" Ash replied, raising an eyebrow cockily "Now I don't have to eat dog food"

Before he could react, Ash suddenly found himself sitting at the kitchen table, between Freddy and Chucky, with a fresh bowl of wet dog food waiting for consumption.

"Bon appetit!" Freddy exclaimed, waving his gloved hand. Ash involuntarily started wolfing the dog food down, glaring daggers at Freddy and the rest of the laughing housemates in the room…

… "So what are we supposed to be doing again?" Chucky asked, making a face. "Did I just hear what I thought I heard?"

"Yes" Pinhead replied, reading the paper again "We have to split up into two teams and play Truth or Dare"

"Truth or Dare?" Freddy spluttered, laughing "Sounds like a goddamn slumber party!"

"And our host is supposed to be arriving soon" Pinhead continued "The blood team consists of Leatherface, Candyman, Djinn and myself"

"Booo, blood team!" Freddy yelled, interrupting Pinhead's reading "You guys suck!"

"The gore team consists of Jason, Chucky, Michael Myers, and Freddy" Pinhead continued, narrowing his eyes murderously at Freddy. The doorbell then rang.

"Answer the door, Ash" Djinn yelled, angrily fingering the short skirt of the French Maid uniform.

Against his will, Ash walked to the front door and opened it. Suddenly, his terrified screams filled the front foyer.

"Who the hell is it?" Freddy bellowed, before staring at their emerging host in fear.

"Um, hello" Jessica Simpson said, walking up to the houseguests "I guess I am in the right place"

"Oh god" Djinn said, the color draining from his face "Did they have to send HER?"

"So, like, what's the deal with you?" Jessica said, taking a good look at Leatherface, who was scared out of his wits "Do you, like, work at Starbucks or something? They have people like you working there. You're a burn victim!"

"Far from the truth, moron" Freddy muttered under his breath "I wonder where the aliens found you"

"Like, oh my god!" she said, taking a look at Candyman "You could soooo get a job working as Captain Hook at Disneyland!"

"On with the game, please" Pinhead said, gritting his teeth at the pop singer/actress "Then you can get back to whatever mindless drivel is floating in your microscopic brain!"…

… "Okay Freddy" Jessica squealed, turning to him "This is for the tiebreaker"

"Whatever you gotta do" Freddy grumbled, rolling his eyes. "I pick truth"

"Freddy Cougar" Jessica said, struggling to read the question from the cue cards she was given "At what age did you lose your virginity?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" Freddy screamed, lunging out of his chair "Get it out of Cosmo magazine like you Hollywood idiots do? I pick dare instead"

"Okay then" Jessica said, sticking her jaw out angrily "I dare you to take off that Christmas sweater and put this one on"

She reached into the bag at her feet and pulled out a pink bundle, handing it to Freddy.

"What the fuck?" Freddy bellowed, eyeing the pink fabric "Kittens? No fucking way in hell will I wear that!"

"Oh, like, come on!" Jessica insisted, smiling at him "It is soooo your color!"

"Come on, Fred" Chucky cheered, wanting to win "It's not as bad as dressing like Barbie"

"Easy for you to say" Djinn snapped, rubbing the eyeliner out of his eyes "You only had to change your clothes. I got a makeover!"

"Don't you dare start" Pinhead hissed, smacking Djinn upside the head "I had to put on lingerie!"

"Yeah" Chucky bellowed, eyeing the bustier on the cenobite's chest "Purple is definitely your color!"

"Just do it already, Fred" Ash groaned, squirting more liquid soap into his mouth "Jason kissing me with an open mouth ain't my idea of a good time"

"This better not be held against me" Freddy groaned, waving his hand. In seconds, his red and green sweater appeared in his hands as he wore the pink girlie sweater. "Are you happy now?"

"Yes" Jessica replied smugly, smirking "Now can you tell me…do buffaloes really have wings?"

"Sweet dreams, bitch!" was all Freddy could say to the ditzy blonde…

Author's note: Wow! Now that was interesting!

Ash: (still squirting liquid soap into his mouth) You are one strange broad!

Synn: (ignoring Ash) Now…who should be eliminated? Ahhhh the perfect cliffhanger.

Pinhead: Miss Synn, was that torture really necessary?

Synn: (laughing) Pinhead, I've seen the Hellraiser movies many times…you actually think wearing women's lingerie constitutes as actual torture?

Djinn: (still wiping the makeup off his face) Then what do you call it, oh mighty author?

Synn: (smirking) I call it creative genius!

Freddy: (keeping a firm hold of a whimpering Jessica Simpson) Can I kill this little piggy? Please? I'm desperate here!! I need souls to survive!

Synn: (closes eyes and pinches bridge of nose) I am surrounded by idiots!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Jessica Simpson, nor do I want to! So, I sincerely apologize to any Jessica Simpson fans on and those around the world, and also to Jessica herself for any offense taken regarding use of her character in my story. This is all purely in fun, not malice. Please don't kill me!