A special thanks to my loyal fans for staying tuned while I kicked my writers' block.

Ash: (snickers) And not a minute too soon…stupid broad.

Synn: (irritated) Djinn!!! I need you!!

Djinn: At your service dear author, how may I help you?

Synn is heard whispering to Djinn…Both then snicker

Djinn: As you wish, mistress author.

Ash: (uneasily) What the hell is going on?

right before our eyes, Ash is put into a windowless, doorless room filled with doggie doo and a big German Shepherd with severe diarrhea

Synn: (laughing) Thank you Djinn! On with the show!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these horror characters nor do I own the Surreal Life.

The next morning, Djinn was the first to wake up. He went and opened the front door to retrieve the paper. As soon as he picked it up, he saw a headline that almost made him drop the paper.

"Nice fumble, Tony Romo" Freddy cracked, standing in the doorway "Whatsa matter? Did Jessica Simpson distract you from throwing the big touchdown pass? Did everyone in the arena use those Jessica Simpson faces on a popsicle stick to distract you?"

"Good morning to you too, Freddy Pooper" Djinn replied, irritated "I was reading the headline on today's paper"

"What does it say now?" Freddy groaned, snatching the paper out of Djinn's hands.

"Help yourself" Djinn said sarcastically, pushing past Freddy to get inside…

… "What is this shit?" Chucky groaned, rolling his crystal blue eyes.

"It appears that a bunch of single females will be coming to the mansion for a little 'get-together'" Pinhead said, nearly drooling "Do you know what this means?"

"Ooh, ooh, I know!" Freddy yelled, jumping up and down with enthusiasm "Fresh piggies to kill"

"Pipe down, Pooper Scooper" Ash groaned, rolling his eyes "This isn't all about you, ya know"

"Tiff is going to kill me!" Chucky groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

"Hold on a second" Candyman said, reading the paper "Yeah…Charles, you may be safe from her wrath"

"Whaddya mean?" Chucky demanded, looking up "How can I be safe? She's watching this stupid show!"

"Well she's coming here for the schmoozing" Candyman said, handing the paper back to Pinhead.

"Even better" Chucky groaned, pulling at his red hair "She'll kill me if I even look at one of the other girls"

"They have a term for guys like you" Freddy said, whistling "It's called whipped"

"Go light yourself on fire" Chucky said, flipping Freddy the double middle finger.

'Perfect' Djinn thought, smirking to himself 'I'll use my human form and charm all the ladies. Fresh souls for the taking'

"Apparently this is a speed dating thing" Pinhead said, setting the paper down "I am so out of practice"

Jason wrote furiously on the pad of paper and handed it to Candyman.

"Jason is feeling self-conscious" Candyman read to the others "He doesn't think he'll get a warm reception without the ladies getting hysterical"

"Just keep your mask on and be yourself, Jason" Pinhead said, leaning back in his chair…