This keeps getting better and better!!
Riddick: (holding an irate Ash) Synn, I caught him trying to cop a feel when he was vacuuming under your desk. What can I do with him?
SynnHmmmm…(thinking) The doggie doo eating didn't work last time. I say you dump him in a room of dirty diapers and make him stay in there without proper ventilation. (uses author powers to fill a windowless, ventless room upstairs with dirty diapers)
Chucky: Finally! (jumps onto Synn's lap) Time to cop a feel! (reaches out)
Synn: RIDDICK!!!!
(Riddick comes bursting into the room, plucking Chucky off of Synn's lap)
Riddick: Stupid little piece of plastic! Get your dolly hands off of our author!
Chucky: I'll "little piece of plastic you!". Stupid criminal (thrashes about)
Riddick: What shall I do with this one?
Synn smirks and makes Tiffany appear out of nowhere, wielding a whip)
Synn: Hello Tiffany. Your darling dolly husband just tried to grab my tits!
Tiffany: You perverted bastard! (Charges at Riddick, who manages to hold onto Chucky)
Synn: Time for part two (Puts Tiffany and Chucky in a room that locks from the outside).
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters! To do so would be a travesty! Oh and I don't own the Surreal Life either. But I wish I owned Vin Diesel! :P
… "So, Riddick" Pinhead said, crossing his legs as he sat in the chair "Tell me of the tortures of the Necromongers"
"I wiped their leader out" Riddick said, flipping a dagger expertly "Not much to tell of their tortures except that when they want to convert you, they stick these giant spikes right below your ears"
"Ahh out of the mouths of babes" Pinhead breathed, smiling faintly "I would love to meet them someday and compare torture techniques"
"Can we change the subject please?" Candyman said, rolling his eyes "How about you tell us more about yourself, Riddick"
"Ah that's simple" Riddick said, putting the dagger back in its hilt "I've been a murderer for as long as I can remember. I just recently learned I was a Furion and took on the supreme leader of the Necromongers, who was supposedly a holy half-dead man or something like that"
"What's with those stupid goggles?" Freddy demanded, snickering "You look like a gay spaceman!"
Without warning, Riddick lunged at Freddy and used his dagger to put a big gash on his arm.
"Yeeeeooowww" Freddy yelped jumping out of his seat as his cut oozed green blood "What was that for?"
"Never taunt a murderer" Riddick said, wiping his blade on Freddy's sweater "Especially when it comes to his sexual identity"
The room erupted into laughter. They could even tell that Michael and Jason were laughing because of the way their shoulders were shaking.
"Oh sure" Freddy grumbled, healing himself "Have a laugh at my expense. He makes one wisecrack and you're on the floor, laughing your asses off…I give you gold and you do nothing!"
"That's because his jokes are actually good" Chucky bwahhed, rolling his eyes at Freddy "Your jokes are old and crusty…like the underwear you never change"
The whole room erupted in laughter as Freddy yelled a whole string of obscenities.
"Does it always get this crazy?" Riddick asked "I mean, Extra Freaky Crispy over there is really annoying"
"Tell us about it" Pinhead said, rolling his eyes "All he wants is to kill his little piggies"
"Little piggies?" Riddick snorted with laughter "Did he have sex with Mother Goose or something? That's lame!"
"I'll give you lame, you gay spaceman" Freddy growled, lunging at him.
"We went through this before, Frederica" Djinn said, waving his hand to put him in suspended animation "Riddick kicked your ass"
"I think it's an improvement, Djinn" Riddick said, laughing "I wish you'd keep him in that state all night"
"As you wish" Djinn grinned, happy to do his part "Since you're a guest of honor, I won't take your soul"
"Since you won't take my soul, I won't kill you all" Riddick said, smirking "Well except for Freddy, especially if he gets on my nerves"
"Hey Riddick" Chucky asked "Is it true that you killed those monsters on that planet? Y'know…that dark planet"
"Of course it's true" Riddick said, smirking "It was great"
Jason wrote furiously on the notepad before handing it to Riddick. Riddick read it before answering.
"Well Jason" Riddick exclaimed "I was in a slam where there was no sunlight and there was this doctor that performed the procedure in exchange for menthol cigarettes. Helped me out in Crematoria with those wolves"
"Interesting" Candyman said as Freddy yelled and thrashed about. "Pinhead, do something about this!"
"With pleasure" Pinhead said, making one of his hooks appear and catch Freddy at the scruff of his neck. He then willed the hook to fling Freddy into a soundproof room.
Author's Note: Damn, Riddick was the best idea of all! He really kicks ass!
Riddick: Glad I could be of service (holds up a screaming Freddy) Can I kill him?
Synn: I don't think so, Riddick. He seems to be a high testing character. But I have an idea. (locks Freddy in a room with insane fangirls) That should do it.
Synn and Riddick share a laugh as Freddy's high pitched screams fill the mansion)
Ash: Who the hell is screaming like a girl? (glares at the author and her bodyguard) What does he have that I don't?
Synn: Muscles and two hands! Not to mention a really cute butt. You just have a big chin.
Riddick: Step away form the author, maid!
(Ash backs away in fear)
