Okay, okay…so the emergence of Riddick didn't test well. Darn. Well then I am going to introduce another character that fans all around the world are bound to remember and love.
Riddick: Are you getting rid of me?
Synn: Heavens, no! I'm just adding another character.
Freddy: Great! (groans
Djinn: He better be cool.
Synn: He's a little eccentric compared to you guys, BUT, I assure that he is a killer. As he is so fond of pointing out, his "Aesthetic desires often overrule his financial wisdom"
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything so get off my back and send your bloodthirsty mob to a more deserving creature!
… The next morning, Ash went to retrieve the paper. Mentally cursing Freddy and Djinn as a cold breeze flew through his short skirt, he picked up the paper.
"What the hell" he mumbled, reading the paper "Another houseguest? Are they nuts?"
Grumbling, he headed back into the house, tossing the paper on the kitchen table before starting his early morning chores.
"Yeeargh" he yelled, noticing a pile of doggie doo on the otherwise clean floor "Fuck you, Krueger!"
Freddy's laughter filled the house before he appeared in the kitchen, grabbing the newspaper.
"Morning, Colonel Crispy" Riddick taunted him as he came into the living room "What do you have there?"
"Oh un-fucking-believable!" Freddy roared, throwing the paper at Riddick "We have another fucking houseguest coming today"
Pulling the newspaper off of his head, Riddick glared at Freddy before reading.
"All it says is that he's the son of the Devil" Riddick said, scoffing "And that he's a very powerful man"
"For all we know, it's superman!" Freddy growled, kicking the ottoman in front of him "That doesn't narrow anything down"
"Whoa I hope Ash read this" Riddick said, setting the paper down "He has to roll out the red carpet for this guy, who will be here--"
As if on cue, the doorbell rang.
"ASHLEY" Freddy barked, making a red carpet appear in the house "Answer the damn door already"
Ash answered the door to see a gaunt man with slightly wild hair standing there, clad in a turtleneck, a blazer, and black slacks. There was something ominous about him, almost deadite-like but wholly human.
"May I help you?" Ash inquired, setting his feather duster down and eyeing the zombie-like man. He itched to grab his boomstick.
"I am here to announce the arrival of Alexander Lucard" the man said, with a slight lisp as he gestured towards the black Mercedes behind him.
"Alexander who?"
"Alexander Lucard" said an irritated yet cultured voice nearby. Ash jumped as he saw a blonde man with eerie bluish grey eyes standing behind the weird man.
"I guess you must be our new houseguest" Ash said, eyeing the expensively dressed man with interest "The paper didn't say you were gay"
"I beg your pardon?" Alexander Lucard said, glaring at Ash murderously "I am far from being a homosexual"
He then turned to his servant.
"Felix, bring my bags in" he said, making an undistinguishable motion with his left wrist as he pushed past Ash to get inside.
"Welcome to the horror shit show" Ash muttered under his breath as he closed the door.
"I heard that" Lucard said, walking into the main room.
Freddy and Riddick sat there, eyeing the seemingly human man walking in as if he owned the place.
"Greetings and felicitations, gentlemen" Lucard said politely, bowing "I take it that you are two of my housemates"
"Who the hell are you?" Freddy demanded, taking a look at Lucard with narrowed eyes "The paper didn't say anything about you being gay"
"I assure you I am not gay" Lucard said, irritated "I just happen to have superior taste in clothes that are stylish and functional"
"You don't belong here" Freddy sneered, jabbing Lucard in the chest with a finger knife "You should go home to whatever faggoty country you're from"
Without warning, Lucard lashed out, throwing Freddy against the wall. Riddick was about to say something but noticed how Lucard's eyes blazed a bright greenish yellow color and sat still.
"Someone should teach this ignoramus some manners" Lucard said, hissing and baring his fangs "Especially around the King of Vampires"
Without warning, Ash burst into the room, firing a round with his boomstick, nearly hitting Lucard with a single shot before the gun was quickly snatched away from his grasp.
"Tell me, maid" Lucard hissed, baring his fangs in a predatory grin "Do you enjoy being sexually confused?"
"Care to tell me what's going on?" Djinn inquired, standing in the doorway, watching the spectacle "Ash, step away from him. He's Dracula, you moron!"
"Drac..drac…Drac…Drac…Dracula?" Ash mumbled, his face going white "Ohhh shit"
"Hello Djinn" Lucard said, cooling down somewhat and returning to his normal form "It's been a few centuries since we last spoke"
"Believe me when I say that nothing has changed" Djinn said, gesturing for Lucard to follow him to the kitchen "This mansion is swarming with idiots"
"Your powers of deduction never fail to impress me ever so slightly" Lucard said smoothly, acting like his normal self again…
For those of you who do not know who Alexander Lucard is, then you haven't watched Dracula: The Series, a Canadian-made show for kids (and adults) that originally aired in 1990. I am sure die hard fans like myself will get the "Drac…Drac…Drac…Drac…Dracula" reference ;)
Lucard: It is so nice to meet new blood (eyes Synn's neck hungrily)
SynnEhhh Lucard, it won't work on me.
Lucard: Whatever do you mean, my dear? (keeps eyeing her neck)
Synn: I'm a Sanguinarian vampire.
Lucard: Well, knock me down with a feather!
Synn: You know, Lucard, we are very similar in nature.
Lucard: I beg to differ (eyes her outfit with disdain).
Synn: I am a vampire and I am a businesswoman.
Lucard: Good for you! (rolls eyes) I'm so impressed.
Riddick: Okay you've harassed the lady long enough, take a hike Dracula!
