Foxlover91 : I really like Honey, I kind of forced her into the story, but I'm glad I did.

Cemsay : This isn't that kind of fic. But that's an idea I like. Maybe in another story.

GhostWolf88 : I don't know, in most fanfic, they end up as friends (at the very least). Not that they won't here.


Chapter 5 - Apologies

Judy was trying to enjoy her day off while napping on the garden grass, when, through the open window, she heard Joan enter the main building's living room. She knew Finnick was in there too, working on a cheap repair plan for the housing unit. She had brought the water heater issue to his attention, but there was a heap of other problems plaguing the place. The isolation was awful, the roof leaked during big rains, and the whole thing needed a new coat of paint. Or three.

"Hey, Fin, how's my favorite small mammals going." Judy lifted a brow. Joan sounded like she was (a bit clumsily) trying to be flirty. She knew she and Finnick were close, but she hadn't imagined anything like that was going on between the two.

"Judy should be around if yer lookin' fer her." Shot back the vulpine cheekily without missing a beat.

"Er, I was looking for you actually." She corrected.

The fennec grinned, having perfectly understood. "What d'ya need ?"

"I thought we could, you know… Hang out. We've barely seen each other for the last few days."

Finnick's first reaction was to smile. He was in the mood for anything but his current work, and spending some time with the (gorgeous) elephant seemed like a more pleasant use of his time. Then three things came to his mind. His roll in the hay with Honey, Nick's words, and how the two correlated. "Maybe later, I got some work to catch up on."

"Come on." She nudged his ear with her trunk. "It's not every day that I'm on a day off. And you're technically not on the clock either."

"Listen, sweetheart. I'd like nuthin' more to forget about 'dis thing and spend time wid'ya, but it's important."

The elephant was a bit taken aback by his polite rebuttal. "I'll keep you company then."

"As long as you can keep quiet, ya can put yer beaut- ya can sit anywhere ya want." He had almost slipped. Almost. But no flirting with the elephant.

She sat near him and let him work. The only noise in the room was the scratching of the pencil on the paper.

"Okay, what is going on ?" Joan finally asked with a tone oscillating between worry and suspicion.

Finnick winced. He knew his behaviour had changed toward her, as he had been actively trying to modify it. He had hoped she wouldn't have noticed, but he knew he wasn't being that subtle. "I'm working ?" Tried the fennec fox unconvincingly.

"I mean, what's going on with you ?"

"Work."

"Fin, for Ganesha's sake, I'm not an idiot." She stated, with a tinge of irritation. "Something's going on ! The new recruit's miserable, you're pissed at the boss, and he's… Neither you or him are being yourselves !"

"I'm feelin' like mahself, thank ya very much." Huffed the fennec fox dismissively, absolutely not enjoying the turn their discussion was taking.

"Even Duke and Herb are starting to take notice. And they're not the most perceptive about those things."

The fennec fox sighed. As long as Nick and Judy wouldn't talk things over, the situation would remain stuck. If the red fox didn't get it with the hard glares, maybe it was time to try something else. Like actually talking (or punching) some sense into him. She was right, something was going on. At least, he could stir things away from the stain in their own relationship.

"And I feel like you've been avoiding me too." She added in a hurt tone.

Or not.

That last sentence felt like a cold shower for him. "I'm not avoiding you." He half-lied since he wasn't really avoiding her, but rather avoiding being alone with her. Avoiding to climb on her shoulder in the morning, whispering stupid jokes when Nick wasn't paying attention. Avoiding to drop flirty comment when she was in the vicinity.

So, basically three-quarter of their social interactions.

"Did I say something wrong ? I mean, I know I can put my foot in my mouth sometimes, but you'd tell me right ?"

Judy slowly rose from her spot and started to move away. She wasn't sure where this discussion was headed, but she had a rough idea. Even though the most curious part of her burned to learn more, she had to give them the privacy they deserved.

"Of course I would tell ya ! You didn't do anything wrong, and even if you did, I'd never be pissed at ya ! Come on, we're friends, ain't we, big girl ?"

He noticed that her face fell a bit at his words.

"Am I being too much ?" She asked "I mean, it was always our thing, the jokes, the banter, the-" She exhaled slowly and finally said it, making her face heat up. "The flirting… If you want to put some distance, I get it."

"Joan..."

Her anxiety was flaring up, and even Finnick could see the signs. She put a hoof to her eyes. "I feel so stupid. I thought you liked me, you know ? Like, 'liked' me."

"Jo'-" He tried again.

"I mean, I knew there was the size difference, the species difference, the diet difference, the age diffrence, the fact that you are a coworker… Damn… It's really a lot when I say it out loud." She rambled, her voice breaking. "I'm such an idiot."

"Jo', please !" The small vulpine almost shouted. "It ain't that. It ain't you !"

"Don't serve me that, Fin-"

"No, listen ! I ain't good fer ya. Or anyone. You shouldn't try to get involved wid' me like 'dat."

"Well, maybe I want to, you know ? Maybe that's something you should talk to me about, instead of just ignoring me."

"I ain't good at talkin'." He said sullenly "Ya know 'dat."

"But I'm good at listening ! These big ears aren't there for nothing ! You could at least try to explain."

"There ain't nuthin' to explain." The fennec shrugged. "Nick's right about me. I don't commit, I don't stay, I shag around. I don't want ya ta feel like ya been used. Ya don't des-"

"What's that about Nick ?" She asked, cutting him. "What does he have to do with this ?"

Finnick's throat suddenly felt really dry. "Well, we talked the other night, and he told me about how I better not hurt ya. Ya know him, he's really protective of ya, and…"


Nick was supposed to not be working. He was supposed to use his day to relax and do something else than class and fill papers, or catch up on unread and unanswered e-mails. But hell wasn't the kind of place to offer respite. There ain't not rest for the wicked, as the saying goes. He couldn't stop while there was still so much to do.

"Hey Nick." The fennec's voice interrupted him in his work. Strangely, Finnick's voice contained no anger.

"Need something ?" Nick asked diplomatically.

"We'd like to talk to ya downstairs."

Nick sighed. Well, he couldn't put that off any further. He was glad enough that the bunny had kept his harsh (and unfair) words to herself, he wasn't about to deny her the apology she deserved, even though he was absolutely not ready to deliver it.

He stood up and took his cane, trying to reduce his limping as he headed toward the stairs, the fennec behind him. Making his way down, he was surprised to see Joan's large silhouette sitting on the sofa. Given that her and Judy had been working together since the beginning of the week, he wouldn't have been surprised if they had talked and gotten closer.

He was about to ask both her and Finnick to leave, as it was a conversation he'd rather have in private, until he noticed the bunny's absence.

Nick finally reached the center of the room, and the elephant stood up.

"Hey boss." She began.

"We talked about it, Jo'. I tolerate you calling me that at work, but off duty, you gotta call me Nick." The red fox smiled.

His first words made her smile and shake her head in spite of herself. She was supposed to be pissed at him, but it was Nick. The mammal she owed so much to.

"Okay, Nick. Finnick and me talked…" She began hesitantly.

"Yeah ?"

"And he might have said that you said to him that… "

She glanced at Nick, and even though he was keeping cool exterior, there was a hint of stiffness in his tail.

"Okay… Did you tell him to put distance between us ?"

She really was hoping for a no, but given Nick's discreet shifting, she was in for a disappointment.

"I didn't say it like that. It was more like a friendly reminder that he should be careful about what he's doing."

"Meaning ?"

"Meaning : not hurt you."

"Nick, Fin' would never hurt me."

The fox didn't like this conversation at all. Still better than confronting the bunny, though. He scratched the back of his neck, his gaze shifting to the fennec fox. "Not intentionally."

The elephant frowned. She was about to answer but the fennec fox started talking before she could.

"He's right, ya know ? I mean, I kind of have a record of screwing up with girls… I-"

"Fin." She cut him.

"Jo', list-"

"No, you two listen ! I'm a grown elephant, I've been working here for seven years, and I don't think I've ever asked for your 'protection'. I can take care of myself and take my own decisions."

"I know that Joan. We'd never have hired you if we didn't think you had the strength or maturity for-" Said Nick, trying to calm her down.

"You'd never have hired me if I hadn't been an elephant. It just happened that I was also strong and mature for my age." She corrected. "But I thought I had proved to you that I knew how to handle my life !"

"And you did ! I just… I just wanted what's best for you."

The elephant took a step back, looking like she had been slapped in the face. "Every time… Every single time I hear that phrase..."

"Joan-" Tried the red fox, but she raised a hoof and cut him.

"Nick, you know my story, you were there for me since I started working here, and you've done almost as much for me than my own parents, but out of everyone I know, I thought you'd be the last to take my choices away from me ! I already have a controlling father, the last thing I want is a second one !" She had almost shouted her last sentence, but she looked more like she was about to cry than to really get angry.

It was Nick's turn to take a couple of steps back. He was staring at her, his ears low, and his shoulders down, and for the quarter of a second, it felt like time had finally caught up to him. All Finnick could see was an old scared fox, hanging to his cane to keep standing. Then he blinked, and the image disappeared.

"I'm sorry." The red fox huffed after a moment of silence. "I'm sorry for putting my nose where it didn't belong, I'm sorry for what I said to Fin'. I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't trust you. I'm sorry for everything." It was the first time she had ever seen the fox contrite. Even if he was showing a brave front, he couldn't look up to meet her gaze. "You deserve- All of you deserve better from me."

Finnick and Joan glanced at each other, both of them sharing the same surprised expression. The both of them could count on one paw or hoof the number of times they had heard Nick genuinely apologized.

She put a knee to the ground and gently patted his shoulder with her trunk. "Apology accepted Boss."

Nick chuckled. He had heard the emphasis on his title. If it was her way of getting back at him, he could live with it.

"See that ain't so hard." Chuckled the fennec fox.

"To apologize ?" Asked Nick

"To not be a dick. Now why dontchu stop bein' an idiot and go be apologetic the othah' one tha' deserve it."

"What is it about being apologetic to someone else ?" Asked Joan inquisitively.

The fox turned and took a few steps toward a windows, his gaze straying on the treeline. Thinking about the bunny sent him right back the mountain of problems he was facing, and at the very soon to be surprise inspection the department would have to face.

"Nick ?" Asked Joan again, somewhat worriedly.

"I screwed up. With the bunny."

"Her name's Judy." Corrected Finnick.

"I screwed up with Judy." He said again.

"Yeah, you blew all yo' stress an' frustration in 'er cute little face. For no fuckin' reason."

Nick's tail flicked in irritation. "Not a reason to rub it in."

"Isn't it, though ?"

The fox almost chuckled at the bitter taste of his own medicine. "Dick."

A firm trunk came to rest on his shoulder. "Well, maybe you should go apologize to her too."

Nick turned around and pushed the appendage away. "Not right now. I wouldn't even know what to say."

"How 'bought what ya feel, for a change ?" Asked the fennec.

"Alright. Let's go." Said the elephant, approaching her trunk to him again.

Nick took a step back. "I said not right now." He tried to fence the insistent trunk away with his cane again, as the elephant didn't back off, but she simply grabbed it and tossed it to Finnick.

"And I said, let's go."

Of all situation the pachyderm could choose to get assertive, it had to be this one.

"Joan, I swear to- Put me down ! Put me down right now !"

She was holding him up by the scruff of his neck and had started walking toward the exit as he flayed around. "I'm afraid you're not my boss on my day off, Boss." She said.

"Fin', do something !"

"Fin's not going to do anything he wants to go on a date with me." She smiled, though the fennec could see her blush hard at her own audacity.

"We're going on a date ?"

"Well… If you want. I mean, you don't have to, but…"

Nick was still trying to pry himself off from the pityless trunk. "Don't listen to her, Fin'. She's an elephant, you can't afford it !"

"We don't have to eat out." She said, hoping real hard the fennec could hear the tinge of desperation in her tone.

"I'd be happy to eat ya- to take you to eat out." Fumbled the fennec as they arrived in front of the bunny's door.


Judy was still thinking about the snippets of conversation she had heard. Was there something between the fennec fox and the elephant ? Part of her found it extremely weird. How did it make sense on a size point of view ?

Maybe it was because she was a bunny, but she couldn't stop herself to try and think about the logistic of such a sexual encounter. In the past few years, there had been more and more pred-prey couple, but few could be as different.

Another thing about it that she found funny was that in most situations, mammal tended to think the predator might be pressuring the prey into the relationship, but in this situation, it would be ridiculous to think so.

It sent her back to her old crush to Gideon. How much things could have been different if she hadn't accepted to step down for Hester. Maybe he would have been a better fit than Ethan, maybe she would have been as miserable and she would still be in the same situation now. She wouldn't have had kids though…

She took out her phone and looked at its wallpaper. She hadn't changed it, and it still was the last collective selfie she had taken before Ethan and Katie had left for zootopia.

She and her ex-husband were cheek against cheek, their faces between their children's ears, all of them wearing wide happy smiles.

Looking at her own face, she couldn't say her smile was fake or forced. She truly looked happy. Her throat tightened. Why did she throw it all away ? Why had she thought she could have something better than this ? Even if she didn't feel like she belonged there anymore, at least they believed she did.

A commotion outside her small apartment cut her thought process. The door was flung open and a red fox was almost thrown in, scrambling to keep his balance with his cane in his paws, before the door was slammed shut by a trunk behind him.

The fox dusted himself off and looked up at her.

"Hey." Was the only sound that could escape his lips, while his eyes tried to settle on anything but her.

"What do you want ?" She asked, unable to make her voice free of hostility.

"I'm sorry." He muttered. Unsurprisingly, this apology was even harder than the previous one, as this time, he couldn't try to hide behind good intentions. And he couldn't hope to be forgiven because of them either. The fox drew a breath. Saying that he was sorry wasn't enough. He owed her an explanation. "I'm sorry for losing my patience at you. I'm sorry for shouting at you. I'm sorry about every single thing I said to you. The thing is, and you need to know that I don't think it's an excuse, I've been trying to salvage all this for months. And I was tired, and angry, and…"

The fox sighed and took a step forward. He lifted a paw, before drawing it back. "There is nothing I could say now that could make anything I said then even remotely right. I'm just a stupid old angry fox that you happened to meet on his wrong lifetime. Just know that I won't throw any more shit at you, and that I know I deserve every single thing you'll throw at me. I would ask you to stay, as I know Joan and Finnick like you, but if you want to leave, I'll write you a recommendation letter for any work you'll want."

He finally dared look up to meet her gaze. She was staring at him blankly.

Nick waited for an answer for a full minute. "Okay." He sighed, turning around.

"You were right." He heard. "About me being a naive stupid hick. About my mid-life crisis. About me trying to find a new life elsewhere. That's why it hurt." Her voice started to break and the fox didn't dare to turn around. "I threw away a life it took me twenty years to build because it didn't feel like enough. I abandoned a husband that loved me because I couldn't bring myself to love him like he deserved. I left behind every single mammal I've ever known for a chance to feel like I amounted to… Something." He could hear the tears rise in her voice. He clenched his teeth, feeling even more guilt that before. "Because, somehow, I've always thought I could make a difference. As if I was special in any way. I'm just a screw up unable to accept that she had wasted her life."

Nick had moved without thinking. His cane clattered to the ground as he wrapped his arms around the bunny. He though she was going to push him back, but he felt paw on his back as she pressed herself further against his chest. It almost made him lose his balance, but he managed to sit them both on the bunny's bed.

"I'm just a dumb bunny." She sniffled.

"No you're not. I'm the dumb fox." He heard himself say. "Don't ever let people tell you that you can't be something, especially not me. Don't lock yourself in the role people think you should have. I don't know the first thing about you, but I know you can be more than you think." She felt his paw stroke her ears soothingly. "You were right to come here, and I was wrong to reject you. If you're willing to give me a second chance, I promise I'll do everything in my power to make you feel like you belong here."

The sobbing intensified before subsiding. She was shaking a bit and as he looked down, he saw her pull her face from against his chance. "I suppose I can try." She said, with a smile that made his heart skip a beat, before burying her face back in his chest.

Her tears were drying up, and she was finally able to unstuck herself from him.

"You give great hugs." She said, trying to say something that would keep awkwardness to creep up on them.

"You're not so bad either."

"Heh. You should try that I'm not being a crying mess." She smiled, while picking up his cane, and giving it to him.

"I might take you up on that offer." He shot back, pulling a giggle from her.

The fox shifted awkwardly again, not knowing what to do next.

"I knew you couldn't be all bad." She said.

"Because I was your hero ?"

She giggled. "For that reason too. But no. Because of my best friend."

"You're going to have to explain that one."

Judy took her phone and tapped the screen a few times, digging out some photos. "Here."

Nick looked at it, and was surprised to see a selfie with her and another fox. The chubby vulpine was holding a straw hat in one of his paw and a shy smile was on his face. She was holding one of his overalls braces, and he had a paw over her shoulder. "Wow, I know that sounds a bit backward coming from a fox but I didn't expect this."

"No one did, really. He was a bit of a jerk when we were kids."

Nick's brow furrowed. "He doesn't look the type. Must have had a hell of a makeover."

Judy nodded. "You don't know how right you are. He's actually the one who gave me these." She brushed the fur of her cheek to show a pair of thin scars.

The fox approached his paw without really thinking and ran his thumb on them. "He wasn't messing around. And you two became best friends ?"

Judy blinked a couple of time, a bit dazed by the contact of Nick's paw. "Yeah. It was a long process, but he changed a lot. He's the nicest fo- No he's the nicest mammal I know."

"That's high praise coming from someone that probably has thousands of siblings." Smirked the fox. His quip earned him a punch to the shoulder.

"It's hundreds. We bunnies aren't that good at multiplying." She frowned, event though there was a glint of amusement in her eyes.

Nick chuckled and tapped the 'home' icon on her phone as he was giving it back to her. The picture of her and her family appeared as her wallpaper.

Judy scotted away and rested her back against he pillow, her feet leaving the floor. "Yes, I do have children." She answered to the question he hadn't asked. "And an ex-husband." She added, her ears dropping.

"Bad breakup ?"

"I… Dumped him."

"Takes courage."

"After twenty-years of marriage."

Nick raised his brows. "He must have done something really bad-"

"He did absolutely nothing." She cut him a bit defensively. "I told you, you were right about me. I left because I wanted to be something else."

Nick sighed and turned, his feet leaving the floor as he sat to face her. "Well, I suppose you're in the right place. We all wanted… Or needed to be something else. I'm an ex-hustler that was forced to get his act together for instance. Fin' was my partner, as you probably know if you're such a fangirl." He smirked.

"And Duke was the 'Duke of bootleg'." She air quoted. "I know about Joan's past too."

The fox gave her an appreciative smile. If Joan had opened up to her that easily, the bunny had to be something special.

"As for Herbert..." She continued. "I have no idea. All I know is that he doesn't like to be made fun of."

Nick raised a brow. "Oh ? How so ?"

"Finnick made a crass joke, he didn't take it well. But they were talking again the next day, so I suppose it's resolved."

"What kind of joke ?"

"He said that since Joan's a female, and bigger than him, he had to feel emasculated..." She explained, blushing a bit.

"Oh… Herbert can take a joke, but just not in that area." She gave him and inquisitive look but he shook his head. "Not saying more. This is his business."

The bunny's ears dropped, but she decided not to pry. "What is it about Mr Ramowitz trying to screw you over ?" She asked bluntly completely switching topic

"Nepotism."

The bunny frowned. "What do you mean ?"

"I didn't get a job here on my own merit. It was a favor from good old Lionfart." Explained Nick. "And getting Fin and Duke recruited… Well it basically was more of that. Crapowitz didn't like having a fox dumped on him, he didn't like that I got half of his team fired for… Different reasons. And he liked even less that I got them replaced by 'shifty predators'." He air quoted. "And yeah, before you ask, I didn't fabricate anything. The two assholes I got fired deserved it. And I wouldn't have recruited my friends if they weren't cut out for it. But yeah, he hated my guts."

"Why did you want to work here in the first place ?"

That question threw him back in memories he had hoped to forget. A junior scout ranger uniform, his mom's proud smile, the light of a flame, a muzzle being forced on his face. The shadow of sadness passed on his features. "An old dream, I guess." He evasively answered.

"I know a thing or two about old dreams." The bunny muttered. "Nick… I think I'm going to stay. You need another pair of paws, and if this place is as important to you as finding a new life is for me, I want to help. I mean, maybe I was recruited because Mr Ramowitz wanted to hinder you, and maybe that means that I'm underqualified-"

"Yeah, trust me Carrots, you're not."

The bunny frowned at the nickname but shelved that concern at the moment. "But I'm starting to realise how much this place means for you all. I promise I won't disappoint you."

The fox nodded. Somehow, he knew she wouldn't disappoint him. "That's good enough for me." Silence started growing between them, and there wasn't much more to say. "I'm really sorry to cut this short, but… Well this was kind of unplanned, and I still got work to do."

"Joan made you apologized, didn't she ? I saw her trunk close the door." The bunny grinned.

"Carried me by the scruff of my neck like a kit. Yeah, laugh it off." He smiled while she started giggling. "I would have come eventually. I'm glad she forced me."

"So am I."

The fox go down from the bed and directed himself toward the door. "See you tomorrow."

"See ya."

He shot her a last glance as he left the room. She was smiling at him warmly, and he felt a small weight being lifted from his shoulder.


We're about halfway through ! Bear with me.