Author's note: I would like to apologize for the writer's block again but it hits me at the worst times, please don't hurt me!

Riddick: (stands in front of Synn) Never fear, Riddick is here!

Ash: What a homo! (snickers)

Riddick: I heard that! (charges at Ash with his daggers)

Ash: Owwwwww! Synn, get rid of this animal! (Cowers and holds gushing wound on his arm)

Synn: This is what happens when you piss a woman off! Either she or her bodyguard will humble you!

Riddick: (advances on the bloodthirsty author mob as they back away from the murderer) Who else wants a piece of Synn? You'll have to get through me first!

Lucard: Hmmm, impressive (applauds) Miss Synn, I do believe you are worthy of my praise. Bravo!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All the characters are property of different famous people, including my newest addition to the houseguests.

Freddy awoke the next day to the sound of a male voice barking orders. Rolling his blue eyes, he got out of bed and trudged downstairs to the kitchen, where the sound was coming from.

Much to his chagrin, he saw Lucard sitting there with a cordless phone as he talked intently to whoever was on the other end.

"I told you, Mr. Moustapha" Lucard said, obviously irritated "You cannot raise the price on me in the middle of this merger. You have no idea with whom you're dealing with…I will be after you so fast in court that you'll soil your drawers before I win"

Freddy stood in the doorway, before heading out to grab the Surreal Life newspaper. Lucard's voice was even audible outside.

"Dumbass" Freddy muttered, picking the paper up. Before he could stand up straight, he was suddenly knocked down by an impenetrable force.

"I heard that" Lucard hissed, snatching the paper from Freddy's glove hand "I'll be needing this, thank you"

With that, he sauntered inside, leaving Freddy to catch his breath and curse.

Freddy stood up, smoothing his sweater while he grumbled. He then sensed a presence behind him and turned around. He was shocked to see a young teenage girl standing there.

"Why hello, little piggy" Freddy greeted her "How may I help you?"



"I…I'm Carrie White" the girl stammered, looking away from his face as she smoothed out her blood stained dress "I'm your new housemate…and I'm n…not a little piggy"

"A pleasure meeting you, little piggy" Freddy said, smiling evilly as he blocked the doorway "How may I be of assistance?"

He was suddenly taken aback at the fury in her wide eyes. He felt himself being lifted up.

"What the hell!" Freddy roared as his head collided with the ceiling of the porch. He collided again…and again…and again as the girl walked slowly into the house. After she went inside, Freddy fell, landing on his butt…

… Lucard sat in the kitchen, ending his phone conversation as he read the Surreal Times.

"Lovely" he muttered, reading the headline "We have a new housemate. Hmmm it's a telekinetic girl."

He smiled in spite of himself…he was always great with the ladies.

"Perhaps" he thought to himself, the bloodlust consuming him "I can have her as my snack. I could always use a female zombie"

He laughed quietly, thinking of the possibilities that would ensue. His laughter was cut short though.

"Um..he…hello" said a female voice from the doorway "I..Is this the Surr..Surreal Life Mansion?"

"Why, yes it is, m'dear" Lucard said, turning to look at the girl. He got a glimpse of the blood on the silky dress and his hunger began to consume him "Welcome. I am Alexander Lucard, but you can call me Alexander"

"M..my name is Carrie White" the girl stuttered, staring at Lucard with wide blue eyes "Y..You're Dr..Dracula"

"And you're that telekinetic girl" Lucard said, smiling as he took her hand and kissed it. "I've heard of you, mademoiselle."

"Y…You have?" Carrie said, still staring at him with wide eyes. He was a devilishly handsome man.

"Yes" Lucard said, his tone turning sympathetic "I felt bad when I heard how the kids at Bates High tormented you at your senior prom. Rest assured, I will make sure your stay here is comfortable"

"What's going on?" Djinn demanded, appearing into the room "I heard Freddy yelling"

"Djinn, my boy" Lucard said, a wry smile on his face "I'd like you to meet Carrie White"

"Oh my" Djinn said, turning into his human form "I've heard about you Carrie. Don't be ashamed of who or what you are. We're all the same here."



With that, Djinn waved his hand, making Carrie's dress appear as immaculate as it was the day she first put it on.

"Thank you" she said, a thin smile forming on her serious face "My dress is pretty again"

Riddick entered the kitchen, stopping short.

"Hmmm" he sniffed, walking closer to Carrie "And who might this be?"

"Riddick" Djinn said cordially "This is Carrie White. Carrie, this is Riddick"

"It's been a long time since I've smelled beautiful" Riddick said, as Carrie blushed, mumbling something to herself.

Jason and Michael walked into the kitchen, both cocking their heads at the sight of Carrie. Jason whipped out his machete and Michael took a carving knife from the counter.

"Easy boys" Djinn said, making the weapons disappear "Is that any way to treat our new housemate? This is Carrie White"

Jason's eyes widened and he ran from the room. If he were able to speak, he would have been screaming madly.

"What's with him?" Riddick asked, stifling the laughter that rose to his lips "I thought he wasn't afraid of anything but water"

"He had a bad experience with a telekinetic girl named Tina Shepard" Djinn explained to everyone "He's a little gunshy but he'll come around"

"What about maggot head?" Freddy demanded, limping into the kitchen "Jason's scared of something else?"

He then caught sight of Carrie and backed out of the kitchen slowly. He passed Candyman and Pinhead in a mad dash upstairs.

"What's with him?" Pinhead questioned, frowning "You would think he was suffering"

"Something must have scared him" Candyman said, rubbing his chin with his hook in thought "And I think that something is in the kitchen"

"We better investigate" Pinhead said as they entered the kitchen "I must simply see what is tormenting Frederick"

"Ah" Lucard said, waving the two of them over "Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new housemate, Carrie White"

"We heard Frederick screaming" Pinhead said, staring at Carrie warily "What has scared our dear friend?"



"I…I was j…just teaching him a lesson" Carrie said, blushing "He kept calling me little piggy. Seeing as how my dress was covered in pig's blood, I got upset. Bad things happen when I'm upset"

"Out of the mouths of babes" Pinhead said, smiling with approval "Welcome to our somewhat dysfunctional house"

"Hey" Riddick said, sniffing around the room "Where's Chucky?"

"I think he went to go torment our dear Ashley" Lucard said, glancing at his Rolex watch "We should be hearing the result soon"

As if on cue, Ash's terrified screams filled the air.

"Chucky you deadite whore" Ash yelled from upstairs "Just wait until I get my hands on you. If you think it's bad being made of plastic, having a shot-off dick is worse!"

Carrie's eyes widened at what she heard.

The rest of the housemates all collectively sighed in exasperation.

Now that was interesting! Will Ash get revenge on whatever made him scream?

Ash: Stupid Barbie doll. Drawing pictures of me doing unmentionable sexual things to deadites. That doll is dead!

Synn: Do I even want to know? (pinches bridge of nose as Ash walks away, grumbling)

Carrie: Eve was weak…Mama always said Eve was weak.

Synn: Ehhh I think Lucard should steer clear of this one. (sighs as Lucard enters)

Lucard: Greetings and felicitations. (smiles menacingly at Carrie)

Carrie: Eve was weak…Eve was weak.

(Synn rolls eyes as Lucard advances on Carrie, his eyes golden in vampiric state)

Lucard: Has anyone ever told you how lovely your skin tone is? (hisses and advances)

Carrie: Eve was weak (reaches under her dress and pulls out a blessed cross)

Lucard: Noooooooo (Recoils and hisses). Aggh For the love of Lucifer (disappears)

Synn: Um, anybody want to kill me now?