II - Fallout

Sana, are you all right?

Sana! Please get up!

Hang in there, Sana!

Headache. That was the first thought that entered his mind when he finally awoke. And when he opened his eyes, he was granted with a rather unfamiliar sight – and was starting to wonder how he ended up on a merry-go-round. Finally the ride came to a stop and he was greeted by a display of shooting stars, before several rather distorted blobs rushed to his side.

"Sana!"

"Sana-chan!"

"Otouto-kun!"

It took a fourth person restore order – his aunt. But what was his aunt doing at school? Come to think of it, the school infirmary wasn't this nice. That meant he was at… a hospital? How did he end up here?

His friends and relatives quickly explained what had happened. After the incident with Nanaka, the entire scene had dissolved into utter chaos. The class representatives meeting was naturally cancelled, and the club fair was half deserted – as a number of students rushed in to enjoy the free attraction, complete with shouting matches and students pushing and shoving for a better look. But the scene would soon split into two, as Sana was taken to the nurse's office and Nanaka was taken to the… Principal's office.

As for Nanaka, she never had a chance. It was an unenviable position, being outnumbered 6 to 1 – with her homeroom teacher, Yuzuki-sensei, Shuu, Shuri, Aoi, and eventually the Principal inventing dozens of ways of saying the same thing: How could you? In the meantime, the school nurse was concerned enough about Sana's condition to call the local hospital, which is where Miss Oribe entered the picture. And in the end, Nanaka was given two hours' worth of detention (but was not stripped of her class representative duties), while the doctor failed to find any abnormalities (aside from a bruised cheek and a bump in the head), although Sana would be kept overnight for further observation.

Which left just two questions. Just why would Nanaka do something like that? And why did the blow cause him to faint? After all, Nanaka hadn't slapped him that hard. The first question would be shelved for the moment as the doctor came in to explain the second. 'Classic trauma' was how the doctor described it. He went into a lot of technical jargon, but Sana was finally able to obtain a layman's summary: apparently, the slap served as a trigger that brought up a previous traumatic experience – and the body more or less shut down as a self-defense mechanism. The doctor had already asked Miss Oribe for Sana's complete medical records, and found no previous signs of this condition. So it was possible that this was an isolated incident; a fluke if you will – but in the meantime, Sana was advised to treat girls very, very nicely. (No one laughed at this joke.)

Back to the first question. Sana naturally turned to the twins for this one. But they weren't much help – with answers like 'she's been through tough times,' 'It's just a misunderstanding', and 'maybe it's because you didn't recognize her'. Now that was a disappointing performance. A simple 'We don't know' would've sufficed, thank you.

The twins left soon afterwards, and his aunt stepped out to pick up some food, leaving Aoi in the hot seat. She squirmed in her chair, searching for some way out – but finally decided against it and stood up. This was something Sana really needed to know, and she would not hold back.

"Nanaka was hospitalized up until two years ago."

"She was sick?" He had no idea –

"Yes, that's what people called her," Aoi said bitterly. "And lots of other names. She was in a mental institution for two years."

He had no idea that Aoi's voice could reach that low.

"It all started right after you left. She missed you terribly, Sana. We all did. But it was worse for Nanaka than it was for everyone else. She would cry, and start talking to herself. She would start laughing for no reason. And even the smallest things would be enough to set her off. She was all over the place, and no one could help her."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"That wasn't the problem. You should understand – didn't your parents go through a divorce?"

That would explain a lot.

"So, Nanaka's parents got divorced?"

"It was worse than that. A lot worse. Her home burned down about a year after you left. Both of her parents were killed, and Nanaka was the only one to survive."

There was a lengthy silence.

"Then… what happened?"

"Nanaka had to go to the hospital. Then it was the police. Then the local news. Then the tabloids. Then it was the police again. But that's not even the worst part. Everyone knew Nanaka's parents had a bad relationship, so people assumed the worst. And the police closed the case and never explained what had happened. And the entire thing was all over the news. It was horrible, Sana. I can't imagine how bad it must have been for Nanaka."

He could guess the rest from there, but there was no need. Aoi was determined to go the distance.

"It was too much for her. She lost all sense of reality after that. She would go off wandering around at night. She couldn't recognize faces. She would laugh or cry at random, and start saying the strangest things. Her uncle and aunt had no choice but to send her to a mental institution. She was there for two years. But she recovered, and started coming to school again."

That was a lot to digest. And he wasn't talking about the food, which had just arrived – along with his aunt.

Sana forced himself to wolf down the food. He was hungry after all, even if he was a bit woozy and in no mood to eat. And it was all because of Nanaka. She had changed so much. Why did this have to happen? The kind and sweet girl who played the violin, and was among the close circle of friends… the person he remembered, and the one he was looking forward to meeting again… she was gone. But this went beyond that. A change in personality, he could have accepted. As for the circle of friends breaking up – well, Aoi had prepared him for that, telling him it wasn't always easy to renew old friendships. But this was just too cruel. A heroine turned villainess; a helping hand that became a violent slap. A warm, soothing presence that became cold and toxic. And something told him that he had only seen a hint of what she could do.

It was a sickening experience, the whole ordeal. And being hospitalized symbolized everything that had gone wrong with his return to Sakuranomori. Yes, he was able to come back, but his aunt and cousin were going to bury him with work and take away all his free time. Shuusuke and Shuri may have been friendly, but they really weren't much help. And Nanaka was the worst of them all. It was a hollow feeling, the kind he typically got when he was wrong, his mother was right, and she was only too happy to remind him of that fact. Speaking of which – Dang. Maybe that was why. Right on the mark, as usual.

Perhaps it would've been easier deal with his mother's advice if it didn't come so frequently, and was right so often. But there would be no escape from it, even a hundred miles away from home. It was going to come every night, at (almost) exactly 9:00PM. And he wasn't going to get a break simply because he was in the hospital; Aoi (his aunt had gone back to the apartment) was ready with his cell phone, and it wasn't long before the familiar jingle was heard.

"Sana?"

"Ah. Don't worry; I'm all right."

"Of course you are."

Talk about an unexpected response.

"Your aunt called me earlier and told me what happened."

"And?"

"I hope the second day of school goes better for you than the first."

Grumble.

"Sometimes things don't go the way you expect? But you'll get over it. By the way, what was it like meeting your old friends?"

Now she was just rubbing it in. Not only that, it was practically an invitation to dump on them, even if it gave her the pleasure of being right. And gauging from her reaction, he succeeded with flying colors – what did she find so funny about it, anyway?

"Oh, Sana. Don't you remember what I told you on the first night?"

Oh, yes. You were right, I was wrong, and I'm a fool. It seemed like every one of their phone conversations was some variation of that theme. And this one was no exception. She had warned him about his old friends, he hadn't listened, and now thanks to one of them, he was stuck in the hospital.

"Sana, that's not what I meant," she replied with a tired voice. "Think. None of us have given up on you. We all know you have a long way to go, but we're still giving you that chance. Doesn't that mean something to you?"

Sana wondered where this was heading.

"I understand how you feel about your old friends. And you might be right about them. But some day, somewhere, someone is going to give them another chance. I'm not asking you to be their friend, or to be the person to give them that chance. But you have to accept that someone else will."

He still had no idea what she wanted him to do.

"What should you do? Just ask your aunt and cousin, and they'll find something for you to do. Do you have any idea how hard they work? And how much they're sacrificing for you? It's about time you found out."

Click. That wasn't an answer. And maybe there weren't any.

* * *

There was no question that his mother was on a roll.

She might as well have spelled out what was going to happen. The class representatives meeting was scheduled for the following Saturday. And Nanaka was given the same errand, to show him to the conference room, where the class representatives meeting would be held. Yuzuki-sensei reminded Nanaka to be nice to him and even gave her a caramel for her efforts. Nanaka apologized, gave a small smile, and promised Yuzuki-sensei that she would do her best.

Alas, the smile disappeared as soon as she left the classroom.

Sana followed Nanaka from behind as they walked in silence. It was only broken when Nanaka told him she needed to return some books at the school library, and asked him to wait outside the door.

After two minutes, Sana wandered inside – and quickly learned the awful truth. Nanaka hadn't returned any books; she had simply walked across the library and went through the back exit.

Was this how it felt like to be jilted?

Sana got the directions from the librarian and quickly made his way over to the conference room – he only hoped he wouldn't be late. As it turned out, he wasn't, as the back exit of the library was a handy shortcut.

As for the meeting itself, it was short and without incident. After all, it was just an introductory meeting, with the school principal addressing the representatives. Which would have taken place on the first day of school, if it weren't for that person. Well, maybe that's what he should call her from now on.

"Hidaka-san, there's someone waiting for you," one of the fellow representatives (other than that person) told him following the meeting. Ah, a smile came so easily to him now. A gentle face with a hint of excitement, a light complexion with subtle signs of color. A graceful presence, filled with warmth. And of course, the violin. A reunion? It felt like one for some reason, even though he had met Asami only a few days ago. A chance to catch up on each other's past, and make up for the lost time. An opportunity to recall, and relive, some of his fondest moments. And a hope for the future, the chance to make new, and better, memories… just the thought was enough to stir his blood. And hopefully, their first session would be the first of many; a sign of things to come…

Alas, reality would soon hit full force.

The entire session was a struggle. Sana wasn't used to accompanying another instrument, and Asami hadn't played with an accompanist very often – and the few times she had, it had always been with a pro. Not to mention that Sana was utterly unfamiliar with most of the pieces she had, and was forced to sight-read for the most part – which was not his strength. He'd need a few days' practice before he had any chance of keeping up with Asami's playing.

So they decided to end the session early, and agreed to meet again once Sana had a chance to practice. But before leaving, Asami asked him to play something. Finally, a chance to do something right for once. And the perfect opportunity to pull off the Fantasy Impromptu – the piece he'd been working on for so long. He managed to get through the piece with flair, and earned an eager applause afterwards. There was hope for him yet.

Asami was already starting to pack up when Sana thought of something – was there a chance she knew this song? The song that was still a part of his memories; one he still played from time to time. The half-finished song. Perhaps the most precious gift of them all – the only one that remained after all those years. One he found himself humming, then fingering the melody on the piano. The chords soon followed, and he was now playing it in earnest, though the ending would still elude him…

"Oh, I know this piece," Asami remarked. "It's an old folk song, I think. I have the sheet music at home, if you want."

"Can you bring it next time? I only know the first half of the song."

Ah, the puzzled look. Hadn't he seen this before?

"No, no. That's the second half," she explained. And that was the cue for her to pick up her violin, and play the first half of the song. Then she gave him a sign, and he started to accompany her as she played the second half. In sync. At last.

"Sana, do you have time later in the afternoon?" Asami asked him as she was putting her violin away.

Oh, only if he did. There were three reasons why he didn't, and they all happened to have the same last name.

"Shuu, Shuri and I usually volunteer at the retirement home on Saturday afternoon. It would be great if you could come along. Meet us at the bus stop in front of the school at 3:30 if you can make it."

Now this made things even more tempting – maybe it was worth a shot? It was at least worth a phone call – there was still the slight chance of getting a favorable answer.

To Sana's surprise, his aunt approved wholeheartedly, and he was now in the clear. Or was he? For there was a certain long-haired stalker who had been listening in… to all the conversations, and especially to the half-finished song that was now complete…

* * *

There was a surprise guest at the bus stop.

"Nanaka?"

"Yatsushiro-san?"

Count on the twins to break the ice.

"Ohayo," Nanaka replied simply.

A look from Shuri, and Asami and Sana replied in kind.

"It's about time," Shuri remarked. "What made you decide to come?"

"I guess you were right. It was about time. It's been a while since all of us have gone out like this – too bad Aoi can't come."

"Oh, is that the only reason?" Shuri teased, giving Nanaka a little nudge.

Shuri then whispered something in Nanaka's ear, earning her a nudge in return – and all was well. It looked like those two had already made up.

For Sana however, it was always going to be a tougher road. Just what had gone wrong? And why did things have to be so difficult? If she was mad at him, fine. The least she could do was to tell him why, and he'd either do something about the situation or get out of her life. Although the latter was getting harder and harder to do, with Nanaka getting shoved into his life all the time. Maybe he just had to face reality and accept that he was stuck in this situation.

Reality. Yes, the reality was that it didn't have to be this hard. Was it hard for Aoi, Shuu, and Shuri? No. Heck, it was easier going with Asami, and he'd only known her for a short time. Not to mention she was gentle, pretty, and could play the violin really well…

Sana shook his head. He was traveling down a dangerous road – hadn't he learned something from all the conversations with his mother? And he could already see the disappointed expression on Aoi's face, even if Nanaka was no longer a close friend of hers. As for his aunt, this was one of the few times he had gotten her to bend – he didn't want to face the consequences if he made a mess out of this. He would have to grit this one out.

The bus came to a stop.

It was a short walk to the retirement home, where they would be volunteering for the afternoon. It was a surprisingly well-maintained facility, filled with nice amenities throughout. There was the recreation room, which had a TV, several computers, a pool table, a shelf filled with board games, and even the latest video game systems. The cafeteria was closed in preparation for dinner, but based on the scent and general appearance, seemed to be up to par – and perhaps even beyond. Then there was the billboard with a list of upcoming activities, which included karaoke night, camping, visit to the museum, and even a trip to watch a local sumo tournament. And there seemed to be no shortage of clubs, either – as a number of them were recruiting new members, at least according to the billboard.

And the people there were no less interesting. There was the video game whiz who challenged Shuu to a match in a fighting game – and pummeled Shuu with increasing ease, as Shuu grew more and more frustrated with each loss. Then there was the sports fanatic who seemed know every statistic imaginable – and would even update them while the game was in progress. There was the "iron lady" who had served as a judge in her day – and would tell stories about all the loony people she came across and the equally daft cases, and how she put everyone in their places. And there was a retired Go professional who would play blind games while giving a nine-stone handicap.

The last person they would be visiting would be a recent addition to the community. Her name was Koishiwa Kajihara, although everyone called her Grandma Kaji. She used to be a tea ceremony instructor and still liked to wear traditional clothing. She also had a pet bird named Pi and a pet cat named Poe, though Pi had apparently flown away one day when someone carelessly left the cage open. She was also a favorite among the neighborhood kids and used to invite them over for tea and cookies – and her young granddaughter would often play with them.

Then, her granddaughter died.

"Accidental overdose" was what they called it. But Grandma Kaji was inconsolable after her granddaughter's death. She was known to do strange things afterwards. She would walk around a certain sakura tree, and start mumbling to herself. She would dig holes in the ground with her bare hands. Or fill boxes with lucky charms and wooden idols. Finally, she had to be hospitalized – and after a brief stay, she was sent to this retirement home, where she was able to mostly recover – though she was still prone to nightmares and occasional fits.

At this point, the group was starting to have second thoughts. Shuri and Shuu backed out almost immediately, while Sana and Asami were considering doing the same. But Nanaka pushed through all of them and boldly entered Grandma Kaji's room, only to be greeted with –

"Motoko!"

What the?!

"Motoko! Why haven't you visited me for so long?"

Nanaka took a step back – and a worker explained. Motoko was the name of Grandma Kaji's granddaughter. And judging from the picture on top of the dresser, the resemblance was there – though Motoko's hair was a bit more brownish, and her face was a bit rounder – not to mention that she had been ten years old when she died.

"I'm sorry," Grandma Kaji apologized, catching herself. "I keep telling myself that she won't be coming. She was such a sweet child, that Motoko. She always visited me whenever I was sick. She was – " referring to Nanaka – "a lot like you. She was always the ringleader whenever the kids came over, and loved playing with them."

She gazed over at the picture once more, and asked to have it brought to her. As Sana was the tallest person in the room, he did so – then took a step back as Grandma Kaji continued to talk to Nanaka. "You see, this was Motoko. It was taken a year and a half ago. See her smile? She was always a happy person, and had a lot of friends. She always got good grades at school and was really good with the violin – she even took part in several competitions. I think I still have her violin somewhere – could you check in the closet?"

It was up to Sana to do the honors again. There was indeed a violin case in the closet, and he placed it on the bed, next to the chair Grandma Kaji was sitting in.

"Seeing you (that is, Nanaka) – reminds me of what Motoko would've become. I'm sure she would've been a beautiful lady with so many good friends, just like you – "

She paused, before continuing.

"Can you play the violin? It would be nice to hear you play her violin again."

Nanaka instinctively took a step backward.

"Come on, Nanaka," Sana encouraged.

"Oh, so you can play the violin?" Grandma Kaji asked.

Before Nanaka could respond, Sana immediately vouched for her. Not only was she good at the violin, she had won a competition and played a duet with him in the honors recital – all at the age of ten. She had been the local prodigy back in the day.

Alas, all this earned Sana was a piercing glare, as Nanaka turned around and started to walk out –

"Wait! Nanaka, why don't you just play?" Sana asked, catching her by the arm.

She shook him off and marched out of the room without saying another word. Gees, not again – would things ever get better between them?

In the meantime, Sana had almost forgotten that Asami was still in the room, who was now talking to Grandma Kaji. Asami took out the violin from the case – and almost immediately, her face fell. And it was easy to see why. The strings were rusted and wouldn't stay in tune; the bow hair had turned black and lost all grip; and to top it off, the violin was a few sizes too small. And the sound? More like a cross between nails scratching a chalkboard and squeals from a dying pig.

Over Grandma Kaji's protests, Asami promised to bring her own violin next time. And yes, Sana would play along, if they could find a keyboard somewhere. Yes, they would ask Nanaka to play again. No, they weren't sure whether she would. And no, for the last time, Asami would be bringing her own violin, instead of playing Motoko's old violin.

So that ended their visit.

The bus ride home, alas, was another adventure altogether. Nanaka wouldn't talk to anyone; Shuri berated him for being insensitive to Nanaka; Shuu more or less agreed with Shuri; and Asami did her best to stay out of the line of fire. They couldn't have done a better job of telling him that he was no longer welcome – was this the end?

* * *

"Are you all right?" Aoi asked him.

Compared to what just happened, cleaning the laundry room was a piece of cake. At least the tiles couldn't talk back.

She put her hand on his shoulder. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Sana scrubbed the tiles with a bit more force before explaining the situation. "Do you know what's wrong with Nanaka?"

"Hmm?"

"All I did was to ask her to play the violin. Why would she make a scene and stomp off?"

"You know that she doesn't play the violin anymore, right?"

Of course; the twins told him that during the bus ride home – then blamed him for not knowing. Now that was just unfair. How was he supposed to know?

"Maybe it was just a misunderstanding. But I don't know what you can do about this, otouto-kun."

So it wasn't as simple as saying "I'm sorry". He'd figured that much out already.

"You have to be – careful – around Nanaka. Haven't you noticed? Even the teachers are scared of her. She seems fine most of the time, but you never know what will set her off. And no one wants to be the person to send her back to the hospital."

That explained why the twins were so protective of her, but there was still something unjust about all of this.

"I miss the old days too, otouto-kun. But it's just the same anymore. Can't you feel it? There's something – different. It seems like everyone's busy now, doing their own thing. And everyone has their own worries. Own lives. And it's not just Nanaka who's having problems. The twins are going through a lot, too. And somewhere, we drifted away. I guess we could still call each other friends, but there is something missing. I don't know what happened to it, otouto-kun."

A moment of silence. Deep inside, both of them were thinking about the same thing – was it too much to ask for? Was it possible to regain that magic that had surrounded them for so many years? To find the spark that would restore what they once had?

Sana started to speak, but Aoi continued. "I know. It's kind of sad, really. But maybe there's nothing we can do. Even if there is, maybe we should just leave things alone. Don't worry about Nanaka; she still has her uncle and aunt and her shrine work. It might take a while, but I think she'll be all right. Shuri and Shuu will be fine, too. Maybe we won't be as close to them as we once were, but as long as they all make it through, it'll be OK…"

Ah, the forlorn look. And this time it was genuine.

"Or maybe there's hope?" Aoi offered. "Maybe there's a way to bring everyone back. Just let me handle this, otouto-kun. I'll try to think of something."

He hoped she would; he didn't want things to stay like this. And if today's events were any indication, there wasn't much he could do about it – it was up to Aoi now.