Author's Note: It's amazing how the ideas flow freely after a lengthy bout of writer's block. There are way too many housemates now so it's the second round of eliminations! Our special guest is a special Judge from American Idol. (snickers)

Ash: Please don't eliminate me yet…I want to get my revenge on Chucky (whines)

Synn: Pipe down, Ash! I have a headache!

Lucard: Tsk tsk, Synn. (Wags finger) You need to feed. I shall call Dr. Varney to come in.

Riddick: You will do no such thing! (flashes crucifix in Lucard's direction , causing him to disappear, hissing)

Synn: I owe you one, Riddick.

Riddick: Just pay it forward.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Send the bloodthirsty mobs elsewhere.

Lucard awoke early the next morning, hissing in dismay at the open curtains. The sun drastically lit up the room, singing Lucard's eyes. Cursing, he disappeared and teleported downstairs.

"I might as well go and get the paper" he grumbled, smoothing his impeccable hair back "I wonder what drivel my precious mind will be exposed to today?"

He went outside and retrieved the paper. He read the headline, smirking.

"Someone will be eliminated today" Lucard said, grinning to himself "American Idol style. It will be a pleasure to finally meet Simon Cowell"

Lucard laughed, picturing the insults that Simon would freely use on the houseguests.

His mirth grew as he saw the list of housemates that were safe from being in the competition. His name was at the top of the list. He wasn't surprised to see Jason and Michael on the list, due to their lack of speech. It wouldn't have been fair.

"This shall make for an interesting afternoon" Lucard laughed, walking into the house.

"What will?" Chucky demanded, nearly making Lucard stumble.

"Oh Charles" Lucard said, glaring at the killer doll momentarily before regaining his composure "I hope you know how to sing. You'll never guess who our host is this time!"

"Gimme that" Freddy said, appearing out of nowhere and ripping the paper out of Lucard's hands "Oh no…not him"

"Who?" Chucky demanded as Freddy fumed and growled "Who is our guest host?"



"Simon Cowell" Lucard said, his eyes golden in vampiric state as he hissed at Freddy. "I will have the distinct honor…and pleasure…of watching you all fail miserably"

"Lucky bastard" Freddy muttered, reading the exclusions list "This sucks. I wanna call my lawyer"…

… The housemates all gathered around, waiting for the arrival of their host. Being in a nervous mood, Djinn decided to let Ash dress in a suit instead of his usual French maid uniform.

"This is insufferable" Lucard said, staring impatiently at his Rolex "The least he could do is show up on time"

As if on cue, the doorbell rang.

"Welcome to the shit show House of Horrors" they heard Ash greet their host "My name is Ash and I will be your doorman this evening"

"Oh bloody hell" they heard Simon comment from the foyer "I certainly hope you won't be a part of this you toerag"

"He's arrived" Freddy said dryly, rolling his eyes "Let this torture be over with soon!"…

'Bloody hell' Simon thought, his eyes narrowed as Candyman stood up to sing 'I certainly hope he doesn't sing a song from Peter Pan'

Much to his chagrin, Candyman started singing a near perfect rendition of "Music of the Night" from The Phantom of the Opera. Having heard Freddy Krueger butchering his rendition of "Can You hear Me Knockin'" by the Rolling Stones and Pinhead doing the same to "Life is a Highway" by Tom Cochrane, it was a nice change.

"Well" Simon said, taking notes before giving Candyman a look "That didn't completely suck."

Somewhat satisfied with Simon's comment, Candyman sat down, pleased with himself. Djinn stood up, ready to sing.

"I'll be singing 'You Raise Me Up' by Josh Groban" Djinn said, in his human form.

"Go on" Simon said, leaning back in his chair. With that, Djinn belted out a perfect rendition of the song. It was very pleasing to Simon's ears.

"Bravo" Simon said, giving him a steely gaze "That didn't completely suck either. Next please!"

Chucky stood on the couch, clearing his throat.

"I'll be doing 'Turn me Loose' by Loverboy" he said, not noticing that Ash had come into the room.

"Go on" Simon sighed, rolling his eyes "It'll be horrible anyways"



As Chucky cleared his throat again, he was aware of a presence behind him. He spun around seeing Ash standing next to Jason, an insane smile on his lips.

Chucky started to sing.

"Turn me loose…turn me loose…turn me loose" Chucky sang, noticing a weird feeling creep up his back "I gotta have it my way"

Before he could continue, he suddenly felt very itchy and started twitching around, falling to the floor. No matter what he tried, the itch consumed him. He started twitching and screaming.

"That's enough" Simon said sternly "That is by far the absolute worst performance I have ever seen. Don't quit your day job"

He stood up and walked into the Rumpus room, armed with his notes.

"Bloody hell" Simon said to himself, rolling his eyes "I don't think this will be a hard decision at all"

He looked over his notes, absently wishing he could have a nice tall glass of vodka to wash the repulsed feeling in his throat.

"Chucky is already eliminated" Simon muttered to himself as he shook his head ruefully "That was horrible"

His eyes then fell onto the notes he made about Pinhead. Chuckling evilly to himself, he gathered his notes and returned to the living room…

… "OH MY GOD" Chucky groaned, trying in vain to scratch his back "It itches…IT ITCHES!!"

"Let me help you with that" Ash said, smirking "I've got something that will clear that right up"

"Wait" Djinn hissed, gesturing to the doorway "Here comes Simon"

After a brief moment of silence, Simon stood before the housemates, speaking up.

"I'd like to say this was a hard decision, but I'm sure you know what my tastes are when it comes to performers" Simon said, closing his notebook "Since my ears are still horrified at the atrocious singing, I've decided to eliminate two of you"

"This should be interesting" Freddy said, folding his arms across his chest hopefully

"Eliminated contestant number one" Simon said, smirking "Pinhead or whatever you call yourself. Pack up and go"

"Such a shame" Pinhead said airily, standing up and advancing on Simon "I have such sights to show you"

"Don't even start" Simon said, unafraid "I am not a homosexual"



Pinhead stopped dead in his tracks, glaring at Simon.

"Eliminated contestant number two" Simon said, still smirking "Chucky…by god, man. You have less talent than Paris Hilton did in her pornographic video"

"WHAT" Chucky shrieked, struggling to stand up as the itch still consumed him "I have no talent?"

Without warning, Ash came up behind him, dumping a bucket of ice cold water on him.

"That'll clear it right up" Ash said, grinning at the sopping wet doll as the group erupted into laughter "I'll show you out, Mr. Cowell"

"Thank god!" Simon exclaimed, following Ash out to the foyer…

Creative genius again! The house was getting too full as it is.

Ash: Yahoo! I got my revenge on Chucky! (dances up and down)

Lucard: To quote Mr. Cowell, don't quit your day job, Ashley. (Ash stops and glares)

Freddy: Finally that whipped little bastard is sent home to his wife.

Synn: Don't celebrate just yet, a new housemate is coming up.

Lucard: Excellent. I never pass up the chance to meet new…blood.

Synn: I need to get out of here…far away.

Freddy: Oh Ashley (calls Ash mockingly) I need you!

Ash: What do you want, Colonel Crispy? (glares)

Freddy: It's not what I want (lauches a yowling deadite kitten at his face)

Ash: (screams as the deadite kitten gouges his face out) I'm going to kill you, Kruger!

Lucard: Gentlemen, conflict makes me thirsty!

Synn: Yes, I need to move far…FAR…FAR AWAY! (slides under desk in sheer frustration)