Synn: (Runs across room, dragging Don Henley behind her before ducking behind the desk with him)

Don Henley: What's going on? Why are we here?

Synn: Shhhh...there's a mob of angry authors in the house...they want to kill me for not updating in so long!

Don Henley: (muffles a shriek as he peers around a corner and sees the torch-bearing mob approaching the door) Hold me!

Synn: Okay (hugs him) they'll leave in a minute...as long as they don't know we're in here.

Freddy: (lands on top of the desk, peering down) Here they are!!! Ready to be punished for her procrastination!

Don Henley: (scared) What's going to happen now?

Synn: (turns the mob into Freddy fangirls) This!

Freddy: (shrieks as he's pulled off of the desk into the crowd)

Don Henley: Wait...if you have these incredible powers, why were we hiding?

Synn: (sweatdrop) Ummm me love you long time? (gives him puppy dog eyes)

Don Henley: You are unbelievable!

Synn: You like it! (pounces and huggles him)

Don Henley: Strangely enough, I do.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!

Having recovered from the debacle from the previous night, Freddy was the first to come downstairs the next day. Appearing outside, he went to grab the newspaper.

"Hmmm" Freddy mumbled, reading "A special guest shrink is coming here...great...it better not be Dr. Phil"

"On the contrary" said a familiar cultured voice "Dr Phil is a far cry from me. I'd like to see him try and eat human flesh"

"Oh...my...god" Freddy said, his eyes wide in disbelief as he glanced at the old man standing on the porch in front of him "Hannibal Lechter!"

"The one and only" Hannibal said, yawning into his hand "It looks like I came just in time"

"Hmmm?" Freddy inqured, yawning as it was a contagious thing "Whaddya mean?"

"Clarice has been watching this show from the beginning" Hannibal explained patiently, taking off the dark sunglasses he was wearing "She believes you men are in serious need of my help, so I talked to the producers and they..."

"As if" Freddy scoffed, folding his arms across his chest "You can't reason with television producers"

"Did I say talk?" Hannibal corrected himself, smacking his forehead with an open palm "I meant that I bit off a couple of ears and noses and they readily agreed to let me visit. I forgot this show wasn't suitable for young children...and that's a very good thing!"

"Has anyone told you that you're the smart version of Leatherface?" Freddy exclaimed, barking out a laugh.

"Oh, now you're being rude" Hannibal said, narrowing his eyes at Freddy "and you know I dislike rude people"

"What ya gonna do?" Freddy taunted him, laughing "Gonna eat my dick with fava beans?"

"As if!" Hannibal scoffed, rolling his eyes as he picked up his suitcase "I dislike burned food. Two words, Frederick Charles Kruger...Plastic Surgery! I'll be staying here observing for a week!"

Before Freddy could come back with a snarky reply, Hannibal brushed past him and entered the house...

... The housemates all sat in the living room, surrounding Hannibal, who was taking discreet notes about each housemate's behaviour.

"This is downright ridiculous" Lucard hissed, glaring at Hannibal "I already have a shrink...why should I let Hannibal help me?"

"Although you are quite charming and eloquent" Hannibal said, not lifting his eyes from his notepad "You seem to have a God complex and a chip on both shoulders, my nocturnal friend"

"Why wouldn't I be like that?" Lucard said, sitting back and smirking with pride "I am the King of Vampires after all"

"You mean the King of Butt Scratchers" Djinn said, laughing hard and slapping his knee. Freddy barked out a laugh.

"Good one, Djinn!" he exclaimed, laughing hysterically. Hannibal clucked his tongue and made a note on that.

"Mr. Djinn" Hannibal said, eyeing the Wishmaster "I do believe you are a very crude individual who has no respect of other people"

"Oops" Djinn said, laughing harder as he mimicked Hannibal's voice "I do believe you are a pompous ass who just described Freddy"

"I'll kill you!" Freddy snarled, lunging at Djinn before being restrained by Jason.

"Thank you , Jason" Hannibal said, making more notes "I'm glad someone in here has some semblance of sanity...although be it an oxymoron"

"Watch who you're calling a moron" Angela said, defending Jason "He's smarter than some people think"

"Miss Baker' Hannibal retorted looking at her over the top of his notepad "I am going to have a chat with you about your extremely confusing sexual identity"

The rest of the room began to laugh hysterically except for Carrie who held her crucifix and mumbled to herself.

"And we have Carrie" Hannibal murmured, scribbling more notes "Who is clearly obsessed with her mother's menial religious beliefs. My dear, you abandoned the bible when you attacked everyone at Bates High. I haven't seen this serious a case of an Oedipus complex since Norman Bates, although Norman's issues were more severe."

"Does he still cross dress?" Freddy inquired, laughing "Tell him the elderly look is back in thanks to him!"...

I know, it's been a LONG time in the making, but I wanted Hannibal to do what Florence Henderson did in a few seasons of the Surreal Life. She was a shrink as well as a houseguest.

Hannibal: I am so glad to be here (bows modestly)

Candyman: I suddenly don't feel like I'm entirely surrounded by idiots anymore.

Freddy: Hey! The only idiot here is our author for kidnapping the most talented member of the Eagles. Talk about psycho!

Don Henley: Ooooh! (looks at Synn) Are you going to fight back? Going to fight for my honor?

Synn: (smirks) But of course. (Makes Nancy, Kristen and Alice appear in the room with stronger powers)

Freddy: NO!! (wails) Anything but THEM!!! (runs out of the room)

Synn: And I didn't even break a sweat! (smirks and bows before locking him in a death grip again)