A/N: Ok folks here's the next instalment. Hope you like it. Thankyou to all those who have reviewed, it's great encouragement and truly appreciated.
Diclaimer: the usual, don't own anything CSI, only my own made up characters.
The Truth?
Over the course of the next few days, Sara saw very little of her apartment. The time line was going well and so far she had not hit any problems, much to her relief. She really wasn't sure how she would handle having to ask Grissom for help.
When the time line was finally completed, she collected all the data and arranged for copies to be sent to Grissom in Vegas for final checking. She was pretty sure that she had done everything correctly and waited eagerly for his reply.
"You're pathetic Sidle" she chastised herself. "You leave to forget him and here you are waiting once again for his approval as if it's the most important thing ever, just like you always have."
Rod had given Sara the next four days off, though she would be on call for urgent cases. She was going to catch up on some sleep and much needed house keeping chores.
She put on a load of laundry and made herself some dinner before settling in front of her computer to check her emails. There was one from Nick, three from Greg and one from Warrick.
The first one she opened was from Nick. It was newsy and light and she got a good laugh out of his stories of Greg's antics at both the lab and crime scenes. It made her really miss them when she got mail like this, but she also felt good that everyone was getting on with their lives.
Greg's first email also had funny stories. The second one was him trying to tell her that whatever Nick told her wasn't true. She just couldn't help herself, she laughed so hard over these three emails that the tears were streaming down her face and her stomach hurt.
Greg's third email was a little more subdued, there had been an incident at a crime scene and although no-one had been hurt, he needed to tell her. She figured he just needed someone who was not there to talk to. Her heart skipped a beat as she read the details, but she relaxed as she realised it was just Greg needing to talk like he used to when he had a problem. She replied to him and by the time she had finished she hoped she had given him the reassurance he obviously needed. She couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't talked it out with Grissom because he was usually a great ear for that type of thing. She added a little note at the end asking him that exact question, all the time wondering if he would tell her.
Thinking about it, she realised that they never really mentioned Grissom in their correspondence. They occasionally mentioned Catherine and Lindsay, but never Grissom.
Why? Did they think she wouldn't be able to handle it if they told her about him. Maybe they didn't want to tell her how well he had moved on since she left. Did he even know the guys were in touch with one her? She didn't think so but she made a mental note to ask next time.
Warrick's email was not like the others, as soon as she started to read she knew something was wrong.
Unlike the others, Warrick did not confine himself to the lighter things. He threw in a mention that the lab had been quiet without Grissom, without saying why he was not there. They had two new members on their team, something that neither Nick or Greg had mentioned.( Maybe they thought that would upset her.) But still, even he did not mention Grissom's illness and that made her even more curious.
If anyone would tell her what was going on it would be Warrick. He had never been able to lie to her and he always gave an honest opinion when asked a question. Right now, Sara was worried enough to want to know what was going on. So with some trepidation she took out her cell phone and punched in Warrick's number.
"Brown"
"Hey Warrick" Sara let out the breath she hadn't realised she was holding.
"Sara? Well I'll be damned! Wait are you all right? Is something wrong?"
He sounded panicky so Sara hastened to reassure him.
"I'm ok Warrick, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to talk to you" she hesitated before continuing. "Warrick is everything ok out there? I mean all you guys ever tell me is the funny stuff. Talk to me Warrick, I want to know what's going on."
"I told them you'd work it out" he chuckled.
"Look Sara we know you had your reasons for leaving and we know that Grissom played a pretty big part in that decision. We figured you didn't need to worry about what was happening here while you settled in there. You know what I mean?"
"I do Warrick and I thank you, but I know that something is going on. I know that Grissom has been ill."
She heard his quick intake of breath, but kept going.
"Did you know that my boss spoke to Catherine about Grissom coming here to do an insect time line? They asked me to do it because Grissom was too sick to travel" her voice caught then and she stopped talking as she regained her composure.
"Why didn't one of you at least tell me he was ill Warrick?" There was an accusatory tone to her voice.
"I'm so sorry Sara that you had to find out that way. Look I know that you have or maybe had feelings for Grissom, but we figured you left to deal with that and the last thing you needed was to hightail it back here when he got sick. Besides we didn't think it was so bad, it kind of escalated" he told her quietly.
"Talk to me Warrick please? I want to know. I thought I was handling this distance thing ok, but then the insect thing happened and well it just brought back too many memories. I'm moving forward, but it's harder than I thought, I still worry about all of you, even Grissom."
She paused before speaking once more.
"Tell me everything Warrick, start from when I left and don't leave anything out because I will find out."
She heard him sigh and the sound of him pulling out a chair. So she settled herself on her couch and waited. There was a brief pause as though he was gathering his thoughts and then she heard him take a deep breath before he started.
"Ok Sara. When you left Grissom changed, a lot. He started spending more time in his office and less time in the field. It got to the point where he was only going out if he had to.
He stopped coming to breakfast. Everyone tried to get him to do things, but he wouldn't. The only thing he did do was spend a little time with Catherine, but only if Lindsay was there.
It was like he just didn't want to be near us any more. He aged Sara, right before our eyes. He was working doubles and triples, was like he didn't care about anything but work anymore.
This had been going on for about two months when Catherine noticed that he was starting to look unwell, not just tired. You know? Anyway about a week or so later he took a couple of days off with a cold."
Sara made a noise like across between a snort and a moan, he would never take time off just for a cold. Didn't they know that? Grissom never got sick and he never took time off.
Warrick heard the noise but kept on talking.
"Anyway, he came back to work, he wasn't any different to usual, and so nobody was too worried.
Then a few days later Catherine found him in his office slumped over his desk. When she finally roused him he was mumbling and muttering and he was burning up. We finally took him home, because there was no way he would go to a hospital.
Two days later he was just getting worse and his breathing was not good. Catherine called in to check on him, called an ambulance and sent him to hospital. He had bilateral pneumonia and a collapsed lung. It's taken the better part of two months for him to come good. His immune system must have been shot. I guess all those doubles and triples he worked after you left took their toll.
Anyway, even though he's a lot better, he is apparently still getting short of breath and so he is not allowed to come back to work for a few more weeks."
By now Warrick could hear Sara trying to control her sobs, gentle though they were he could still hear them, and it broke his heart.
"Sara? Oh,Sara this is not your fault you understand?. He ran himself into the ground not you. Maybe your leaving was the catalyst? I don't know, but he could have chosen to deal with it differently." He paused a second, trying to get the words right.
"You still have feelings for him don't you Sara? I mean, I know you never said it in so many words, but we kinda knew. Moving there hasn't really fixed anything has it honey?" The only response was muffled crying on the other end.
"You need to talk to him Sara. The only way you can fix this is to talk. Maybe he feels the same way, his behaviour sure points in that direction."
Sara tried to control herself so that she could speak, but it took an effort. For all that she wanted to deny it, what he was saying was the truth.
"I know Warrick, but see that's just it; we don't seem to be able to talk anymore."
"Why don't you try email? That way you are not going to cut one another off before it all gets said. I know you girl, sometimes no-one can get a word in when there's a Sidle Tsunami in full swing."
Despite herself, Sara let out a laugh, he was probably right.
"You know what Warrick? I think that might be a good way to go. Um…. Thanks. I mean I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that but I knew you would tell me the truth and not hedge around it."
"No problem. I really am sorry we didn't tell you sooner. Any way, any time you need to talk you just call. Ok? I got to go now Sara; it's almost time for shift to start."
"Bye Warrick and thanks. Say hi to the others for me. Let then know I will be talking to them."
He chuckled at the veiled threat.
"Bye Sara, take care"
As Sara went through her nightly routine preparing for bed her mind was reeling from thought to thought. She wasn't sure if she should feel angry at Grissom for not taking care of himself, or if she be feeling the twinges of guilt for leaving as she had.
As she finally climbed into bed, Sara was aware that she probably would not sleep as well as she would like.
