Got back into listening to podcasts and watching lets plays, that plus the classes mean that I'm all over the place; and to be completely honest, I'm kind of tired of this story?

Like, I love it, don't get me wrong, and I will finish it no matter what (while trying my damnest to make it good, bc fuck it I will go out with a banger). But I'm just,,, not feeling it like I used to, you dig?


31. Απόδειπνο

Had Evan not had very prominent anxiety, he would have probably been a theatre kid. So, it started like this:

Back when his parents were together, and going to plays was a feasible occurrence, Evan had been secretly blown away by what he saw; secretly because it apparently wasn't something for boys, even though there had been boys acting, but little Evan knew better than to bring that up with Mr. Kleinman.

Evan was only reminiscing about this because thinking of his current situation as playing a part made things slightly easier to deal with, and he would take anything that provided him that. The fact that the table looked like something out of a TV show also helped the illusion.

The Murphy family themselves was… tense, as in, Evan felt like it was only a matter of time before something blew up, which was, very unnerving. As expected, Mr. Murphy sat at the head of the table, at his right sat Mrs. Murphy, who though clearly affected by him, was subtle about it, besides her was Zoe who looked like she'd rather do anything else, and that resonated with Evan right now; Evan was sat beside Connor on the left side, acting as a divider of sorts between the man, and a very tense alpha.

The omega doesn't think he'll ever refer this particular moment as the ideal situation, and yet it wasn't the senior alpha that made Evan join the game of 'everybody tense'. Like, realistically speaking, Evan would've been playing the forth mentioned game regardless of what the situation in the Murphy family was like; but he was particularly submerged due to his near certainty that Mrs. Murphy had seen through him.

Isn't it crazy that Evan has to specify what he means with that though? That the dragon situation has gotten so convoluted in such a short time? And Maybe Cynthia Murphy did find out about that too, but Evan was somehow more worried about a more trivial thing here. See, Evan had this maybe kind of big crush on Cynthia's son, which Connor seems unaware of thankfully, but that could easily change, because to Cynthia Murphy the closeness between them meant something other than what it really meant.

How to tell the mother of the boy you like not to pass the word to him without letting her know his 'interest' in you is a ruse? Because that was what this was, what it would always be, just an act. A beautiful lie Evan should've known better than to fall for, because Connor has a chance at a future and Evan does not; not in the way he yearns for.

He chose right picking a fox as he wasn't expected to shift anymore, but he also doomed himself, because no one wanted an omega werefox; but he couldn't tell the truth, because then his life would be on the line. And no matter which one he went with, people would always see his animal first, they'll never see him.

-.-. ... .- -. -. . / .-. - ...- / ... -.- .. .-. / - .. - .

Connor did try to eat what was on his plate, though he would've preferred anything else, and by the look on Evan's face that decision was shared; but there was little that could distract him from the feeling of pure dread. It hadn't occurred to him that Evan had never been witness to one of his outbursts, not fully; and that was terrifying.

Connor didn't want Evan to see him like that, because there was no way the omega wouldn't be scared by it; if Evan was scared of him then he would run at the first chance that appeared and Connor…

Connor knew it would happen eventually, that Evan would never stay with him, but Connor didn't want to lose him to his anger, he wanted to still have some part in the omega's life, even if it was only as someone to go to when everything had fallen apart. The alpha wanted to be a choice, even if it was the last one.

Connor felt something bump his leg, the contact bringing him back to the present, where he found himself glaring at the plate while clutching the fork; he glanced to his left and met with lake green eyes for a second, and then took another bite of his food, returning the bump as a way of thanks.

Then the questions started.

Connor answered robotically, barely looking up from his plate, because he knew if he did Larry would be sending a challenge his way, and that would be the beginning of the end. He presses his knee against Evan's when he stutters through the first question, and leaves it there for the remainder; it seemed to work somewhat, though Connor couldn't blame Evan for being tense, that was all anyone ever was during dinner here.

Sometimes Connor wondered why his mom even tried.

... - / - .. .-. . -.. / .. .-. - / -.. - .. -. -. / .. - / - .- .. -.-. .

Cynthia wouldn't say he hadn't expected it, really; after all, Connor had never done anything to stop them from thinking he was drugging himself. Cynthia knew better, of course, but she couldn't say anything to Larry, because to do so she would have to tell him everything, and that wasn't a risk she was willing to take.

She loved him, she really did, but fear changed people; it was safer for him to not know. Still, seeing the way Connor reacts to a question not directed at him but meant for him hurts, especially when it's clear he's been trying to avoid a confrontation tonight.

"So, Evan, is my son giving you drugs?"

There's a high pitched sound of a fork scratching the plate wrong, and then there's wood scrapping against wood, silverware falling into the table, and Connor leaves without a word; Evan is quick to follow, with an apology to Cynthia and a harsh look to Larry, and Cynthia goes after him.

She manages to catch him before he reaches the stairs, and they watch together as Connor disappears into his room, probably to hide behind one of the doors he still has if the sound of wood hitting concrete is anything to go by. Evan makes a noise that just confirms everything for Cynthia, but she ignores its non-foxlike nature a little longer.

"It's best you let him cool down a little sweetie"

The omega looks like he wants to fight her on that, almost desperate to go after Connor, but she smiles sweetly at him.

"Connor seems to like you a lot; I don't think he'd take it well if he hurt you on accident"

Evan gives one last worried look to the room, then bits his lip and nods, Cynthia lets go of his un-casted arm.

"I uh… I get it but… I don't want him hurt either? So ah, I need to- need to go there?"

Cynthia faltered at that, and stayed put as Evan turned again and climbed the stairs, entering Connor's room. She felt relieved, as if a weight have been lifted from her, and found herself smiling as she made her way back to the dining room to join the rest of her family.