Make no mistakes, I am trying to tie all my loose ends so that I may finally be done with this story; it's probably one of my best works so far, but I am, exhausted.
Finally found something new to occupy my time, and my dudes, does it feel good to be back to normal! Keep your four senses alert, I might catch the attention of some of you once again in a different world ;)
After some computer issues, here it finally be.
33. Πέρασω
Sometimes Avalon wondered if other people thought about things the way she did, if they strung farfetched comparisons together until they couldn't discern what was real anymore. Did others get lost in their attempts at relating to the experiences that transpired around them and to others?
Probably not; that sort of thing required for one to detach themselves beyond the point of recognition.
Sometimes, she wondered about different outcomes, and how people would've reacted to them; about what would change, what would stay the same. It had always been like this for her.
Back when she first met Elise and Trevor, she had figured people wouldn't like the honest version of herself, so she had investigated for hours on end, what she had to do in order to fool everyone.
Someone would probably consider it selfish, given she did it in order to be able to keep them in her life, in order to keep all the people around her as such. She did care for them, wanted them to be happy, or perhaps she had convinced herself of it; she didn't particularly care which one was right.
When she found Evan Hansen staring at a flier for the apple orchard thing their school had gotten into, she didn't stop to think about how her words could affect him.
"Your friend sure is working hard"
The omega whirls towards her, confusion clear in his features.
"What?"
Avalon supposes she was perhaps too vague and taps the poster with her finger.
"You know, with this little project of his"
Evan's breath hitches, but he seems to gather himself back up pretty quickly.
"Sorry Avalon, I need to go"
The beta doesn't stop him; she isn't surprised he knows her name; all of the yearbook committee members are easily recognizable. She watches him go and has the suspicion he didn't actually know Jared was behind the project, and that by revealing that information, Avalon has most likely set something in motion.
Avalon shrugs; she guesses she'll have to apologize to Alexei about it.
- ... / ... . -.- / .. - .-. ... / .- .- .-. . -..
There had been a point, back when Jared first realized the depth of his feelings for Evan, where he wished he'd been born a beta. Everything would've been so much easier, there wouldn't be any expectations for him to have the perfect mate that would give him perfect pups; people would've raised eyebrows at him for chasing after an omega if he'd been born beta, but challenge him for Evan.
Well, Jared couldn't change his status as alpha, but Evan had been proven to be an actual choice, only Evan seemed to only have eyes for Murphy; the ash was to be blamed, sure, but boy did it hurt like a bitch. He had been glad when he noticed Evan's alluring scent disappearing, because it made Murphy jumping the omega less likely; but he was also concerned, because of what it meant.
It was no secret that the Murphy family was well off, but to buy something like that, even if Connor most certainly possessed the money to do so, implies a high level of intimacy. That, coupled with the fact that Connor seemed perfectly ok with being close to Evan while the scent was active; is pointing to the ash not affecting them hormonally as Jared had first thought, but rather emotionally, and that was fucked up.
It was a little consolation when the people working on the orchard started the slow process of cleaning the place up without hurting the trees; it's only a matter of time before this is all over. There's something bothering Jared though, enough so that the upcoming end to the ash isn't as exciting as it should be.
Why would Murphy want him to hide what Evan is? At first Jared had thought it was purely to avoid competition, but now… now that Jared knew it wasn't a physical thing, that reason doesn't hold much weight; because if Connor is comfortable with giving Evan heat blockers, then he probably wouldn't even blink at whatever alpha tried to make a move for the omega - secure in the notion that Evan only had eyes for him, because he did -; because Evan was more than capable to fight them off if need be.
Or maybe making Connor overprotective was also something the ash did, Jared didn't know anymore; and he was glad it was ending soon. Only there was a problem.
Jared worked under the assumption that once the ash was done away with, both Evan and Murphy would recede back to their former selves, losing any feelings they had built for the other; but did that mean they would also lose their memories of how the other acted with them? What they learned of each other? How far did the ash's influence go? How much did it ruin?
And, even if they did, wouldn't those around them bring it up? Wouldn't it be weird for them to distance themselves with no apparent reason?
Did it really matter? Jared couldn't stop the project now; all he could do is be ready to comfort Evan if it blew up on his face.
-... .- -.-. -.- / - - / -.- - ..- .-. / .-. . -. ..- .-.. .- .-. / ... -.-. ... . -.. ..- .-.. .
At times like these, Evan really wished he could actually talk about dragon issues with his therapist, and wasn't it fucked up to hide something like this from a therapist? Evan was pretty sure it was, at the very least, against the whole therapy process.
At least now he had something to distract Dr. Sherman with. Sure, he had to skirt around that too, because his whole involvement with Connor only happened due to both of them being dragons; but still.
Dr. Sherman was a patient man, Evan supposed, probably charming to his more outgoing patients, but Evan felt as though he didn't have a right to get comfortable with the beta solely because of the lie he lived. Sure, lying about something in order to not get hunted down and killed was just the right shade of grey to appear morally acceptable, but hell if Evan could ever let himself off for something so little.
He did tell the man about befriending an alpha, covering their meeting as Connor needing help finding his way out of the park, and them sort of clicking while they walked back to civilization; enough so that people started spreading rumors of them being together.
"And I guess I wanted to prove a point to Jared, that someone could actually like me, and Connor agreed to go along with it because they hate each other, you know, alphas"
"And that was the only reason he decided to help you with a fake relationship?"
It wasn't, but the real reason was not something he could talk about, so deeply tangled to the secret of his true animal, it was impossible to mention without spilling everything with it.
"Well I… I think so? I mean, what else could it have been?"
Because Tera had become attached to Evan and Connor would do anything to make her happy, because Connor was a dragon himself, not that he could say either of those things. Dr. Sherman doesn't give Evan any examples that he can use to bullshit a credible friendship with Connor; not that they aren't friends, or at least Evan hopes they are.
"And does anyone else know?"
"My mom does, she's mostly ok with it"
She was the one to suggest they pretend to be interested in each other on a much deeper level, he didn't add; it would only raise questions. It was worrying, how good he had gotten at picking his words, at misdirecting, at half-truths.
"And what about you, Evan? Are you ok with it?"
"I…"
Evan bit his lip, rubbed his hands together, then brushed his hair with his fingers, licked his lips, closed his eyes, breathed deeply; he couldn't tell how it had happened, nor could he tell why, but he needed to voice it, to have it out of his system. One single truth in the ocean of lies his life had become.
"I want it to be real"
