I talk big game about it, but really the only reason I keep writing is because my biggest dream is to be able to inspire someone; and I think writing is how I'll get that.
There is such a thing as overcooked in slow burn, so you guys finally get to enjoy the meal. Aka the writer wants to stop, but I'm a man of my word, so I'm going to give this story an ending. I do have a thing I'm getting into, it actually is something I was into back in high school that's come back with a vengeance, but I don't want to give you any spoilers.
34. Το φιλί
Connor is tired, tired of pretenses, tired of bottling things up, tired of not knowing where he stands with Evan. After the moment they shared in his room, after holding onto the other for longer than really necessary; he needs something solid to rely on, some way to put every emotion he feels for Evan into words.
A few things happen in the time it takes for Connor to finally do something about it, of which, the most notable is, somehow, the fact that Evan has been freed from his cast; and that's weird considering another thing that happens is that he finds out Kleinman is the one running the orchard project, but it is. Evan seemed a bit sheepish about the state of his arm, granted the difference in skin tones was pretty jarring to Connor too; but he seemed mostly relieved.
Perhaps his insistence on setting this particular happenstance aside was purely driven out of his more instinctual feelings towards the lack of his name on Evan's arm; like a non-permanent mark. As much as possessiveness was definitely part of his nature, it bothered Connor like nothing else, particularly considering how he felt about his feelings.
Still, Connor was done, Tera had an actual family - and working with Alexei Chilikov on how to tell Tera that was an entire experience -, so all Connor had to really risk was Evan. Well, actually, Connor wasn't all that ok with just handing Tera over, he was attached damn it! But, you know, details.
Connor's entire being is shaking with unbidden energy as he drives to the Hansen household in order to pick Evan up, he couldn't believe he was doing this; all it took was one moment, one single earth shattering moment, for him to decide on being selfish. He's not going to do it immediately, but he will do it, and that's kind of monumental.
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The orchard had been quiet when Jared had stepped foot in it the first time, or rather, quiet in that not actually silent way nature tended to be when unbothered; it had also looked wild, and in that edge of powerful that came with the ability plants had to take over anything.
All that was gone now, taken out in order to restore something that had once been good, the sound of nature replaced by the humming of machinery, but the air would clear soon enough; this was going to be an orchard, after all. Jared and Alana had been allowed to go again, this time with the people who had joined the project; everyone seemed exited at the progress being made, Jared was exited for a whole different reason.
After all this time, after having to watch Evan be with someone else, it would finally be over. So he enjoyed the tour, but his smile wasn't there for the same reason as everyone else; his nose tingling as he kept picking on every scent, just in case.
Jared was happy when they left, but everyone thought it was pride at making it this far; he didn't let them think otherwise. It wasn't that hard, despite how it had started, Jared did care about the project; besides, Evan would probably like the place once it was done.
For the first time in a month and a half Jared Kleinman walks to school with his head held high, and the kind of spring to his step he's always masked as swagger, looking every bit like the person he was before everything got complicated; only he's looking for Evan, not building up excuses to hang out with the omega, but getting ready for what he'll most likely find, ready to comfort and help Evan through whatever the aftermath of the ash is. He's smiling as he turns the corner into the hall where Evan and him have their lockers, the smile doesn't last.
Jared turns the corner and freezes on his tracks as he sees them. They were standing a breath away from the other, foreheads connected and eyes closed; Evan was mouthing something to Murphy but Jared couldn't hear nor make the words, but Murphy's expression told him they were probably either reassurance or comfort.
It's wrong; Jared double checked and the orchard was clear. The ash was gone, Evan should've gone back to normal, this, whatever was between him and Murphy, was supposed to crash and burn; he was... he wasn't-
Murphy says something, matching level to Evan, in the sense that Jared can't hear it either, but Jared's seen apologies so many times that he catches the word sorry as it slips from the alpha's lips; Evan shakes his head, left hand all but flying into the alpha's cheek, caressing it tenderly and tucking a stray tuft of hair behind Murphy's ear. The worst happens after that, Evan arches himself into Murphy, hand sliding to the alpha's neck tentatively, mouth moving with words that Jared doesn't need to hear because what happens next tells him everything; Evan speaks, lips curling into a soft endeared smile, and Murphy closes the distance as if ordered, connecting their lips into a kiss.
They kiss like they have all the time of the world, tender with a trust improper of two people who've known each other for just two months; there's still no mark to be seen on Evan, but anyone with eyes would be hard pressed not to think them mated if faced with this sight. The way they hold each other tells an entirely different story; clinging together as if afraid the other will disappear in their arms, as if reassuring themselves the other is real.
Jared strides to them, anger and jealousy wrapped tightly together and around him, before his nose gets hit with the scent of ash, and his jealousy gives way to frustration.
"What the actual fuck?"
They stop kissing and turn to him without pulling completely apart.
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Connor hadn't planned on doing it like this, it sort of… happened; someone said something to push him off the edge, but there was Evan, and Evan acting nearly expertly in order to contain Connor while also comforting him like nothing else, and Connor was weak. Too set alight by the decision to confess to stop himself from choosing actions over words.
He didn't mean to kiss Evan, but he couldn't bring himself to regret it, not really, even through the guilt that rose at taking advantage of the situation, the action had been beyond nice. Evan's lips were soft and his arms were still around Connor when they pulled apart.
Connor, too breathless to speak in anything other than a whisper, apologized frankly, trying to get away, because he screwed up. Only Evan kept him there, reassurance spilling from his lips at the same tone as he kept them closely together; and it was then that Connor realized he had voiced his doubts loudly.
He apologizes again, because what else is there to do? But Evan shakes his head, and lifts his newly free arm to place a hand on Connor's cheek, and his expression makes Connor's heart feel warm and fuzzy. He feels acutely how the hand brushes over his skin as if it were fragile, and then Evan pushes some hair behind his ear, and Connor trembles at the sensation, and then Evan's hand in on his neck, probably making the omega aware of his racing heartbeat, and Evan's lips are moving.
"Kiss me again?"
And Connor would be an idiot not to comply with that, so he does, and it's different, it's tender, and sweet, and nowhere near long enough because the moment is broken by a simple phrase.
"What the actual fuck?"
