THE CHAOS HAS COMMENTARY xD Things in parentheses are my commentary AFTER the fact. Just be aware, some things aren't going to be pretty.
(What follows this right here's a title; not exactly my usual fare, huh? Soooo see how the chaos goes.)
A camera flickered to life and showed a gigantic cardboard sign as a backdrop, which reads "Insanity Productions". The camera shifts a bit as someone behind it coughs, and then turns the camera around, revealing a blond girl grinning.
(Before any assumptions are made, that is not me; I am not blond though I sometimes act that way. That is my Best Friend Foreverrrr, Ashlynn, who has been kind enough to be the camera person. Also, we do not TECHNICALLY have the right to use the name Insanity Productions, but hey, it's all insanity as far as we're concerned, so please, no suing us.)
"Hello, people of the internet! I'm Ashlynn, the faithful…" (Ha-ha, pun.) "Best friend of your favorite Authoress, whose name shall for now remain secret and we shall refer to her as…" she paused, "Wait, Tina, WHAT am I supposed to call you?" (Yes, she's very evil at times.)
"Well, damn." A brown haired girl (Me) shifted her glasses as she frowned, "You kinda gave away my name, Ash. But ANYWAY! Changing the subject, HI my loyal readers!" (Jeez, I'm ridiculously dorky today. I'm writing in third person for Pete's sake.) The girl rubbed the back of her head anxiously, grinning, "It's been awhile since I actually wrote something where I'm in front of the camera, so, um. Be prepared for some nervousness, a little… umm, anxious word choice…" (In layman's terms, cursing.) "And I guess a whole lot of insanity."
"Loosen up; you're taking that speech class aren't you?" Ashlynn called from behind the camera, making the brown haired girl grin anxiously again, before making herself loosen up, "You're not going to want to be tense when you find out just what's behind the sign." Tina tensed up again, "What?" Ashlynn calls, "Tina, you can't really expect this to go smoothly."
(I never did, Ash. I knew this would be chaos and that is why I was so tense, thank you.)
"Goddamnit…" Tina frowns again, "I'm almost afraid to look. Well, here goes nothing." She pulled the sign down and was promptly tackled by an airborne Pachirisu. "Gack!" she went sprawling to the floor, her face going red in annoyance, "KATE! I told you to put all your partners outside!"
"You should have told us about this little behind the scenes excursion, maybe I'd be more inclined to listen to you then!"
"I'M THE DIRECTOR HERE AND I SAY PACHI GOES OUTSIDE!" Tina yelled as she dropped the little electric squirrel out of one of the doors. Ashlynn pans a look around the room momentarily to show Keith sitting on a futon with a mild grin on his face, looking amused. There is a computer with a half written script on it, giving the semblance of an office, for indeed it is.
Tina waves her hand in front of the camera, "Yoo hoo, over here, Ashlynn, the camera?"
"Fine, fine." Ashlynn said, obviously enjoying herself. "Let's just get this thing started, shall we? Things will go smoothly after that."
(Damn her and her behind-the-camera suggestions that suggest that things will go as she plans. Damn them.)
"Yeah, yeah, let's follow Blondie's advice and get this over with." Kate flopped on the couch next to Keith. Tina frowned momentarily before sighing and rubbing the back of her neck, "Okay. Behind the scenes usually includes… bloopers… a tour of the studio… commentaries from the characters… But we're going to have all that and fluff."
"Damn, I hoped she was kidding about the fluff."
"Well I wasn't." Tina glared at Kate, "And you're pretty much screwed in that market, coz GUESS WHO has the power to change everything you say and do?"
"NO! NOT THE COMPUTER!"
Tina plopped into the seat by the computer and typed in three simple words: "Kate stopped midair."
Suddenly Kate was in the air, halfway through the jump that Tina had anticipated.
(I win.)
Tina started humming to herself as she typed, grinning victoriously, as Kate flew back onto the couch and lay there in anger, unable to move.
"Okay, let's start with bloopers. I've got some stuff on my computer that we can video tape now."
"Ah great, the bloopers."
"Joy."
"Sarcasm noted, you two." Tina called over her shoulder, "That adds up to three minutes more forced fluff."
"Fuck!"
"Oh," Tina called over her shoulder as she pulled up videos, "Please feel free to."
The camera swung around to see the two shocked faces quickly grow red as tomatoes. Keith's jaw hung down. Kate slowly grew mad.
Ashlynn was laughing loudly, so loudly that the camera shook. The camera panned back to Tina smirking again, her eyes sparkling.
(They WALKED RIGHT INTO that one. xD I rule here.)
Tina pulled the attention back to her by clicking a link to a video on her computer, opening it up and pulling Ashlynn to focus on the screen.
"Okay, everyone, Chapter 1, Nightmares, Scene 3, That Afternoon, Take 1, and… ACTION!"
"TEYA!" the young girl ran up to the teenager who was directing, in no particular order, a Chimchar, a Munchlax, a Starly, a Kricketot, a Machop, and a Cranidos while a Pachirisu sat on her shoulder with its tail curled around her neck.
"Wait, Melody, slow down!"
The blond crashed into the teenager, sending them both flying off the set. Laughter rang out from several areas behind the camera.
"Shut up, you… you…!" Kate yelled as her face went red. Melody giggled embarrassedly.
"Sorry 'bout that." She said as she laughed, rubbing the back of her neck as she stood and giggled. "Can we try that again?"
"Yeah, sure, Melody. Just try not to slam INTO Kate." Melody nodded. "Okay, let's try that again, places!" Melody walked off the set to stand where she was supposed to start running from. Kate walked back to the spot where she had been standing. "Take 2, and… ACTION."
"Ah…ACHOO!" Kate sneezed suddenly. "Oops."
"Ugh."
"Oh right, I almost forgot about that little scene… What did it take; fifteen takes?" Keith asked curiously, looking at Kate who grunted out the correct answer.
"Seventeen."
Tina smiled, "That was a fun scene at first. Very funny bloopers."
(By the way, Melody slammed into Kate several times on the seventeen takes we had to take. She couldn't slow herself down.)
"Next." Tina clicked on another video.
"Alright! Chapter 3, Kanto Region; Scene 4, Nightmare; Take three. And, ACTION!"
She saw her little sister again, still bleeding horribly from the hole in her chest, staring at her in agony.
"Big Sister, why couldn't you save me?" Little Sis asked quietly, "Why did you let him do this to me?" she reached out a bloody hand, "Why couldn't you fight the darkness that is growing in your heart?"
'Fight… the darkness…' Kate wrestled with the black ropes holding her back, bit at the dark gag that prevented her from speaking, and reached out a restrained hand to try and touch her sister's pale face…
The ropes painted with black paint snapped, and Kate, off balance, fell forward, slamming to the floor and spitting off the gag, "OW!"
Ashlynn burst out laughing, "I remember that. The first two takes were perfect but the camera was malfunctioning, and it took twenty minutes to figure out what the hell was wrong. Then the ropes snapped and Kate wouldn't try again for another five minutes."
(She was a little bit of a bitch for that scene… She didn't like the fact that she had done it twice perfectly and then suddenly she messed up when the camera had finally been able to work.)
"Yes, let's make fun of me, why don't we?" Kate grumbled, "We all know that since I'm the main focus of the story, I'm the one you need to make fun of!" she added sarcastically.
Keith chuckled, "Calm down, Kate."
(Me sense blackmail. More fluff for you.)
"Next one was… Chapter Four, Scene One, I think."
"Yeah, the one where the Oddish…"
"Shh!"
"Hello?" she called out, knocking on the door again, "Professor Oak, if you're here, the Ranger Union called and warned you we were on our way?" She glanced back at Keith, "They… did call him, right?" She raised an eyebrow questioningly at him as he started laughing.
The door opened and a gray haired, middle-aged man appeared with an Oddish clinging to his head. Kate took one look at the Oddish and the distressed look on the man's face before giggling. "Are you… having some problems with that Oddish?" she choked out between giggles, "Or does it just like you that much?"
The Oddish jumped off the Professor's head and tackled Keith, dancing on him after he fell to the ground dazed. Keith frowned at the Oddish, then looked up at Professor Oak, "I thought you said he was trained!"
A snicker came from behind the camera, "Take two then?"
"Take two." Tina's voice said in amusement, "Let's do it people."
Keith was frowning now, and Kate looked a little more satisfied.
"Okay, so now you have some ideas of what happens in the bloopers." Tina grinned.
(Actually, there were several other occasions… Pachi zapping Keith instead of Moltres on one occasion, Munchlax trying to eat Kate's pigtails because Keith squirted berry juice on them… We had a lot of issues xD)
"Now, let's move on to commentaries, 'cause our 'studio' sucks and consists of only the back office in my house." Tina looked toward Keith, "Keith, since Kate is apparently PMSing…" she got a nasty look from Kate at this, "could you tell us what you think of productions so far?"
"I could, but Kate would murder me."
"Going good, then?"
"…Yeah. We're a lot further on than I thought we were going to be when we started, considering this story is the one that is closest to the end of all your stories. Just the fact that you say you have an ending in mind is comforting…"
"Well, good to know, because we're closer to the end than ever in the planning process. The main issue I'm going through right now is some of the last details." Tina shrugged. "What about you, Ms. PMS?"
"Don't call me that." Kate snarled, "And personally, the sooner we finish this torture the better. I want to get back to my life, please."
Ashlynn called, "You have a life right now." She pointed out.
"Yeah, a life that consists of saying lines and dealing with mistakes, then sleeping in a closet…"
"Better accommodations than some of the other characters are getting, by the way." Tina said to the camera. "Sven and Wendy are hanging out under my bed, Isaac and Melody are hidden behind the couch… my parents can't exactly know about them all." She rubbed the back of her neck anxiously, "Anyway, I do believe it's time for the final and most anticipated portion of this little behind the scene segment."
"Fuck…"
"Please."
"Will you stop doing that!?"
"Will you stop walking right into it?" Tina asked in all seriousness as she picked up a piece of paper, "Just say the lines."
Kate's eyes scanned the document quickly before she groaned, "You have GOT to be kidding."
Keith read over her shoulder and winced as he read some of the parts, "That would be so embarrassing… We're sixteen, not ten…"
Tina whispered to the camera and Ashlynn, "Be sure to pay attention to them…" before she raised her voice slightly, "Can't be any more embarrassing as what you're going to see when you look up."
Kate turned her face to look at Keith, only to find his face an inch away from hers. She shrieked and fell backward, Keith losing balance and falling on top of her.
"You did that on purpose!" Kate yelled.
"Duh."
Keith's face was tomato red again, and he was stuttering as he tried to say "I'm sorry". He pushed himself up and looked away.
"Fluff." Tina smirked, "Easy to make happen." She frowned again, "Now say the lines, or I swear; I'm making the ending of the story so fluff-tastic that you'll puke of the cuteness."
(It's gonna be that way anyway. ^.^)
"Damn." Kate sighed, "Okay…" she looked at the script again, "Keith, I wonder why you're still around, sometimes. Why have you stuck around when all I'm doing is pulling you down with me?"
Keith read his line, "Uhh… If I don't help you, then you'll only sink faster into the pit of despair you're making for yourself…"
"But you're being tugged down too!"
"But I'm trying to keep you from sinking too far down, so that when help does come, they can help us both. I'm not abandoning you, Kate. I care about you too much."
"Thank you… for everything."
"No problem, just know that I'm always here. And when we get through this adventure and back to Almia, I promise you I'll help you forget all the horrors we faced here."
"Maybe not all of them. If we forgot what happened out here in Kanto… we'd forget some of the worthwhile times… and I don't want to forget about those."
"Me neither, Kate. Me neither."
Tina clapped, "See, that wasn't so hard, was it?"
(That scene is so going in sometime in the future.)
"I think I'm gonna puke." Kate muttered, "Too… much… cuteness."
"Eh, I kind of liked it." Keith shrugged, "A lot of feeling, I think." He glanced at Kate, who was deep in thought now.
"Eh, maybe. As long as we don't have to do so much again."
"Just take in the experience and the feelings, and let's call it a day."
"You mean we're done?"
"Done as steak." Tina smirked. "Well done, actually."
"Thanks."
Tina smiled, before looking at the camera, "Well, that was our behind the scenes look at Pokemon Ranger, Out of the Darkness. I hope you enjoyed the insanity. Insanity Productions, out!"
(Once more, we don't technically own Insanity Productions. Please, don't sue us.)
"And remember," Ashlynn said as she swung the camera around to point at her, "Crack is bad, unless it's a crack pairing."
"AMEN to that!" Tina laughed.
(And that's that. See you next time on, "Pokemon Ranger, Out of the Darkness" Chapter Eleven, Raikou!)
---
AND THERE WE HAVE IT.
The insanity has been recorded. I hope you enjoyed seeing the kinds of things I have to put up with these days.
Kate: . -still PMSing and still thinks that they should have been warned-
Keith: ^.^; -shrugs in an unsure manner, before waving bye.-
