Talk to me

A/N: Finally, a little gsr. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone, except my own characters.

Talk about a nightmare.

It was late when his cell phone rang. Grissom had just started to doze off in front of the television and it startled him awake.

God I hope this is not a case, I'm too tired. He thought as he reached for the phone.

"Grissom" he snapped.

" Oh…..God…..I'm sorry Grissom….I woke you….I…. I'll let you get back to sleep" the voice on the other end was quiet and hesitant.

He was so shocked to hear her voice that he wasn't sure if it really was her.

"Sara?" he asked. "Sara, is that you, what's wrong, are you ok?"

He knew it had to be something bad for her to ring him, they had yet to take that step in their relationship, though he had asked if the could.

He heard a sigh on the other end of the line.

"Yeah. Um…. Look I'm sorry Grissom I probably shouldn't have called you but I…."

He heard the hitch in her voice and he was wide awake in a flash.

"Sara, its fine. I wasn't sleeping. Talk to me honey" the term of endearment had slipped out unconsciously and he held his breath when he realised what he had said.

"I… umm…I killed someone today Grissom" her voice cracked as she told him. "He was just a boy Griss, and I took his life".

He paused for a moment while what she was telling him sank in. Sara had only ever fired her gun once before that he was aware of and that had been in self defence. She had only injured the man, but she had been a wreck for days afterward. She had always maintained that she could never take a life, no matter the circumstances. Now he could only imagine what she would be going through knowing she had taken a life, however justified it was.

"Oh honey" he was cut off as she spoke again, her sniffles audible to him over the line.

"I just wanted to…….I needed to hear ….. "she could go no further, but Grissom knew what she meant.

"You can call me any time Sara, any time at all. Will you tell me what happened honey?"

He heard her take a deep breath and he found himself taking one too.

"We…umm…we were processing the scene of a robbery. They…umm…called us in because one of the perps was shot and killed by the police and he was on the FBI wanted list." She swallowed before continuing.

"We were almost done when we heard a noise outside and before we realised what was happening the kid was right there. I mean he just appeared. He…umm…he was ranting about us killing his brother and then he had a gun and…..he was pointing it at Richard and I just reacted. You know? He wouldn't listen. He wouldn't put the gun down Grissom." The last few words were just a whisper on the line.

There was silence, broken only by sobs and Grissom knew that she was probably reliving the moment but before he could say anything she continued on.

"I don't think I'm a bad person, I mean, I must be though right, if I can kill a person? I don't want to be a bad person Griss. You told me once that you didn't think that there was a murder gene. But maybe there is you know? I mean why else would I have killed that boy? I……"

She was beginning to ramble now, so Grissom interrupted her as gently as he could.

"Sara?... Sara, listen to me. You are not a bad person, you never have been and you never will be. Sara you are a beautiful, wonderful person. You are one of the most empathetic and caring people I have ever met." He let himself smile just a little at what he was about to say.

"I'll admit you have a temper and it's not pleasant to be on the receiving end of it, but Sara, honey there is no murder gene. You are not your mother Sara and you never will be. Whatever happened today was….." he searched for the right word. "Unavoidable. Sara? It was not your fault. You were protecting yourself and Richard, you know that don't you?"

"I know that, but it doesn't stop it from hurting Grissom. It hurts so much. How do I stop it hurting?"

" I know it hurts honey, but you know it will get better, just give yourself some time" he told her softly. "You know I wouldn't tell you that if it wasn't true don't you?"

There was no answer and for a moment he could see her nodding, the phone held tightly to her ear.

Then a thought crossed his mind and he experienced a moment of panic. He hoped her new boss had got to know her well enough to understand how she would take the days events.

"Sara are you at home? Is there anyone with you?" He held his breath as he waited for her reply.

"Um.. yeah, I'm home. Ally is here. Well she's in the living room. She's staying for a while" she answered, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn.

"Thank God!" he hadn't meant to say it aloud, and he cringed, thinking how she might react. When she didn't respond he continued. "That's good Sara, I'm glad you're not alone. Are you gonna be ok? You sound tired, why don't you try to sleep?" he asked.

"Yeah I think I might try. Thankyou. I'm sorry I woke you. Griss?" she hesitated.

"What honey"

"Will you talk to me til I go to sleep please?"

Grissom's heart leapt at her simple request.

"You know I will. What should I talk about?"

"Tell me about your bugs, I haven't heard about your bugs in ages" she asked him, the words muffled a little by another yawn.

He could hear her getting into bed and he sighed, wishing he was there in person so that he could hold her while she fell asleep, but he acknowledged that even this was better than anything he had previously had, so he settled himself comfortably on the couch and started to recite some of his most recent activities with his beloved insects.

Ten minutes later he could only hear the sounds of her gentle breathing, telling him she had finally drifted off.

He was just about to hang up the phone when he was startled to hear an unfamiliar female voice on the other end.

"Um…Thankyou. Whatever you did it worked, she's sound asleep" the voice told him.

"Good. She needs it. You must be Ally?" Grissom asked the voice.

"Um…yeah I'm Allison Campbell, how did you know? And who am I talking to?" she asked in reply.

"Oh…umm, I'm Gil Grissom, I'm a friend of Sara's. Are you staying with her? I don't think she should be left alone right now."

Allison was startled to hear the name of the entomologist Sara had talked about a couple of months earlier, concern very evident in his voice.

"Actually yeah I am, she was really shaken up about today. I'm guessing she told you what happened. Rod, our boss, has given her some time off and she won't be on her own at all. If it's not me it will be him, Richard or someone else from the team here with her. "Allison reassured him.

"Thankyou Allison, and yes she did tell me what happened. Will you tell her she can call me any time if she wants to talk? You can call me if you're worried about her, I guess my number is still in her phone. I'll go now and let you get some sleep too" he hesitated then added "Um…Allison….Um…. Sara has nightmares…this will most likely trigger them, can you….can you take care of her for me."

He hung up before Allison could reply.

He rubbed his face with his hands then rested his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. It had been so wonderful hearing her voice, but she had sounded so broken on the phone. It hurt so much to hear the pain in her voice.

He felt a brief moment of happiness at the thought that it was him she had turned to in spite of all their problems in the past and it left him with a warm feeling that he had been able to help her relax enough so that she could sleep.

He knew she would eventually be ok, but he also knew he was going to worry. Grabbing the remote, he turned on the television, he knew he wouldn't be able to get to sleep again, but that was ok, this way he'd be awake if she needed him again.

In Sara's apartment in Washington, Allison gently slid the covers over a sleeping Sara. She turned down the light and left the room, not quite closing the door. If Sara did indeed have a nightmare at least she would not waken to a dark room and with the door ajar, Allison knew she would hear any noise.

Having already grabbed a pillow and blanket for the couch, Allison finally settled down for the night herself, wondering how this Gil Grissom person fitted into Sara's life, Asking if she would take care of her for him too. That sounded like the request of someone who cared a lot.

After the shooting, Sara had withdrawn and Rod had sent Allison home with instructions not to let her out of her sight. By the time she had managed to get some food into her, Sara had completely shut down. Allison could not get her to talk and when Sara had eventually taken herself off to her room, she had been worried when she heard the sounds of sobbing through the closed door. She had heard Sara talking for a while, then silence and that was when she had checked and found her asleep with her cell phone clutched tightly in her hand next to her ear.

That had certainly taken her by surprise, she had expected this to be a long night and she had to admit this was a much better scenario.

With a final mental thankyou to Gil Grissom and a reminder to herself to ask Sara about him tomorrow she settled off for sleep.

Two hours later she was startled out of her sleep. Climbing off the couch she hurried to Sara's room and opened the door to the sight of Sara fighting against the bedclothes and crying in her sleep. Quickly settling onto the bed next to her, Allison reached out to calm her friend.

"It's ok Sara, you're safe, it's ok Sara, no-one's going to hurt you" she gently stroked Sara's back and arms, gradually soothing her back to sleep with the gentle touches and soothing words. As Sara settled once more, Allison remembered Grissom's words and wondered how often the nightmares occurred.

She decided not to go back to the couch, and lay down next to Sara, hoping her friend would not be too upset with her in the morning. As she drifted off to sleep she decided Sara would just have to deal with it, she was going to take care of her like Grissom asked. That's what friends were for.