Things went back to normal pretty much instantly. I was on edge for a few weeks, but there was no sign of Nick again. He hadn't tried to contact me and I would have almost started to think I'd imagined the whole thing if it hadn't been for the fact that Spencer hadn't been there with me and seen him too. I let myself believe that it was all an unfortunate coincidence though and pushed him from my mind.

There was enough other stress in our lives anyway with Spencer and his team getting themselves into trouble. They were sent to New York to investigate a series of shootings and I could tell that it wasn't just an ordinary case. Spencer and Penelope both barely had enough time to answer my texts and definitely no time for a phone call and they seemed to be working around the clock, but I'd never imagined just how serious it was. When I saw on the news that an FBI SUV had been blown up just outside where they were working, my heart stopped. I instantly rang Penelope and, as distraught as I was, I wasn't surprised when she didn't answer. I paced around the apartment, almost tearing out my hair until the sweet moment of relief when she sent me a text, but it was short lived when I saw what it said.

"I don't know, I don't know anything but I'll tell you as soon as I do."

I sat, eyes glued to the television. My heart racing and my eyes straining as I searched for any glimpse of one of the team members, but had no luck. They weren't letting anyone close to the explosion, not even paramedics. Which meant if Spencer was hurt he might not even be able to get the help he needed.

Minutes felt like hours and hours felt like days until finally, two hours after the explosion, Penelope texted me to say Spencer was safe. But when I inquired about the rest of the team I was met with more silence.

I was on edge for the rest of the evening, my phone clutched in my hand waiting for Spencer to answer my five messages that all had the same sentiment of "I love you" even if it was written a different way each time.

Finally, after news of a second explosion, Spencer answered my call. They were all safe even though Derek had apparently taken some massive, dangerous risk and they were all mad at him. Hotch had been injured in the first explosion and was being treated in hospital and they'd lost one of the agents they were working with, but Spencer really was completely fine. I felt like I could breathe again, but the tenseness and worry from the stress and adrenaline of the evening wouldn't go away.

So I was relieved when there was a knock at my door about an hour after I'd gotten off the phone with Spencer and I found Penelope on the other side.

"I know this goes against everything I've ever told you," She said, setting a bottle of wine on the counter. "But I need a drink after today or I swear to God, I'll be driving to New York to kill Derek Morgan with my bare hands."

I laughed, glad to not be spending the night alone. I was once again reminded by the days events that the people I love were constantly in danger and it felt good to keep at least one of them close. So Penny and I split a bottle of wine, got a bit tipsy and ranted about the foolish risks our FBI friends took to keep the rest of us safe.


It was late June when I saw him again. I felt someone's eyes on me while I rode the metro back from a doctor's appointment to check on my shoulder and when I looked up, there he was facing me, just a few seats down. He smirked and lifted his hand to wave, chills going down my spine.

I got off at the next stop and ran out of the station as fast as I could. I probably looked insane to the rest of the crowd, but I needed to make sure he couldn't follow me if he was trying to. He'd never come that close in person before, but surely it must've been another coincidence. How would he have known where I was going that morning? Unless he'd been following me all day and that thought was too unnerving to think about.

So again, I pushed it to the back of my mind and pretended the universe was just being cruel. I didn't tell Spencer or anyone about it. I didn't even tell anyone when I got the first letter, just as rambling as his others long ago, telling me how he'd missed me and how nice it is to see me again even if I've aged a bit much. Or when I got a package of pictures, some of me alone and plenty of me with Spencer. I kept it to myself, partially because I was scared of how Spencer and Penelope would react and partially because talking about it would make it real. I didn't even open the second letter, it felt like I was giving him too much by paying any attention to him or his creepy messages.

I worried that Spencer would find them, but luckily with his nine to five schedule, I could always get home before him to check the mail so again, I tried to put it out of my mind and not let him take over my life like he had all those years ago.

It was like he knew though. The more I tried to ignore him and pretend that nothing was wrong, the more he wrote, the more pictures he sent and the more I was starting to see him in person. At least every other day now, he'd appear in a crowd as if he was waiting for me. Always with the same smirk and little wave.

I was starting to realize I would have to tell someone, but I found myself more angry than scared this time. I mean, I was scared. He was getting bolder and obviously his presence in DC could no longer be called a coincidence, but every time I saw him there was annoyance along side the terror. Why me? What did I ever do that made him take such an interest in my life? Why did he seem to devote his entire life to stalking me just from our one traumatizing, but fleeting interaction? I couldn't understand it.

It was the day before my birthday when he was waiting for me outside the yoga studio as I left from a late evening class. I'd stayed to tidy the place up after the students had left so I was the last one out and when I'd turned around after locking the door, he was there.

"Mikayla Lawson," He smiled. "How have you been, darling?"

I was frozen, I was terrified, I was alone.

We stood there in silence for what felt like minutes, but must have only been seconds while I tried to get my body to listen to the signals my brain was trying to send it. Finally, as he was about to speak again, the shock wore off and I kicked into gear.

"Fuck off," I spat, standing up straight trying to exude a confidence I didn't have ."If you come one step closer to me, I'll scream."

He held his hands up in defence, but took a step back.

"I'm just trying to catch up with an old friend."

That stupid smirk was back on his face as I rolled my eyes and pushed past him, breaking into a run as soon as I got away.

"See you soon, Mikayla!"

To anyone passing by it would have sounded like normal parting words to a friend, but I could hear the taunt behind them, the promise that he'd be back soon and I knew next time I might not get away that easily.

I decided then that I would tell Spencer...but after my birthday. I wanted to be able to celebrate in peace, I didn't want Nick to ruin my day by everyone freaking out and making it about him.


"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Mikayla, happy birthday to you!"

The sound of Spencer's singing filled my ears as I walked into the living room the next morning causing a big smile to slide onto my face as I walked right into his open arms.

"Thank you, handsome."

I stretched up to give him a kiss before nuzzling into his chest, still half asleep.

"How does it feel to be twenty-seven?"

"Not much different than twenty-six," I giggled. "Except that now I'm older and, of course, much wiser than you."

Spencer's chest moved as he chuckled and I slowly peeled myself out of his embrace.

"Older yes, but only by one hundred and nine days," He informed her. "And I think we'll have to agree to disagree about wiser."

I gasped in fake shock, knowing he was teasing, but also knowing he was definitely wiser than I was.

"How dare you insult me on my birthday, young man!"

Spencer rolled his eyes at my dig at his age, choosing to ignore the comment.

"Would you like some breakfast? I'll cook for you."

I grinned cheekily as I looked around the apartment to see if there were any special gifts lying around before looking back at Spencer.

"Breakfast sounds lovely..." I started. "But could we maybe let me open my present first?"

"Present?" Spencer smirked. "Who said I got you a present?"

"I know you did!" I insisted, smacking his chest playfully. "You've been fishing for ideas for weeks!"

"Maybe I never came up with anything..."

I huffed and put my hands on my hips like a child being told Santa forgot their Christmas gifts and with a laugh Spencer went over to the coffee table, coming back with a perfectly wrapped gift.

"Ooh, a book?" I asked, guessing from the obvious shape of it. "What book did you get me?"

"Why don't you open it and see?" Spencer instructed me as if he was talking to a child, but there was something different about his body language now. He seemed almost nervous, but not in the way you get when you're concerned someone might not like a gift you've given them. "I just, uh, I'll need to explain myself..."

I raised an eyebrow at his curious lead up, but nodded as I unwrapped the book and found myself standing in absolute shock as I held in my hands a copy of the Kamasutra.

"Spencer Reid," I gasped, my jaw practically hitting the floor. "Did you buy me a book of sex positions for my birthday?"

"No! Well yes, I-I did, but I, uh, I meant to get you book of yoga positions for your birthday," He insisted, his cheeks flushing a deeper red than I'd probably ever seen them. "I found one in the store, but the cover had a tear in it so I put it down and picked one up from the exact same spot and I didn't notice until I got home that it wasn't the same book!'

"But you decided this was just as good?"

Spencer smirked despite his still incredibly red cheeks as he shrugged.

"Well I figured it would be a shame to not at least look through it..."

I giggled, shaking my head as I opened the book. It was illustrated which was quite handy when it came to understanding the positions, but only made Spencer's cheeks blush even darker especially when I looked up at him with a naughty twinkle in my eye.

"Well, Dr. Reid," I smiled, walking towards our bedroom, grabbing his hand on my way. "I guess it's time we find out how flexible you are."

I felt Spencer tense at the thought of what was to come, but he followed me anyway, his intrigue outweighing any nerves or doubts.


We spent most of the day wrapped up in each other, keeping the book handy for suggestions and tips. There were a few awkward moments and Spencer spent far too much time fretting about my shoulder dislocating again in certain positions, but overall it was a pretty wonderful birthday present. We had a satisfying sex life, but Spencer got so awkward discussing it out of the bedroom that I hadn't quite managed to get his secret desires out of him and this was a step in the right direction or, at the very least, a conversation starter.

By the time we crawled out of bed it was late afternoon and we had to start getting ready for the evening we had planned with our friends.

"So who's coming tonight?" Spencer asked as he walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair from his shower while I sat still wrapped in my towel doing my make up.

"Um, Penelope, Kevin, Derek, Emily, a girl I work with called Melissa, you," I paused to think about who I was forgetting. "Oh! And Will and JJ."

Spencer froze at that news.

"But JJ's pregnant," He informed me as if I didn't already know. "She can't drink."

"Doesn't mean she can't still come out and enjoy herself," I shrugged with a smile. He still looked terrified as if JJ would some how be in danger just being near alcoholic beverages and opened his mouth to protest so I cut him off with a smirk. "You know what, you're right, she shouldn't come, but it would be wrong to exclude her so let's cancel the whole thing and stay home. Maybe we could try number one hundred and ninety-five in my new book?"

Spencer's face instantly went bright red once again as he shook his head.

"I think I'll need a few months of yoga before I'll be ready for that," He admitted. "Now stop with your sarcasm and hurry up or we'll be late."

I giggled at how easy it was to fluster him and turned my attention back to the mirror in front of me.


We all met at a quiet little bar later that evening for drinks. But in typical Penelope fashion, the night couldn't end there and she dragged us all to some fancy night club. I hadn't been in a club since I was barely legal (and of course well before I was), but I thought it could be a good laugh so off we went. When we got there, it was just after eleven and the place was pretty empty, but it filled up fast. Soon it was packed from wall to wall with sweaty people tossing back drinks and grinding on each other.

It was about ten minutes after I got back from getting a drink with Melissa when I started to feel it. I'd only had about four drinks over the few hours we'd been out and I'd eaten a decent dinner so I was surprised when I felt the room start to spin a bit, but after taking a few deep breaths it passed so I assumed it was just too hot in the club.

However, when another twenty minutes passed and my drink sat untouched on the table, but I was feeling worse and worse by the minute, I knew something was wrong. I mumbled to Spencer that I was going to go to the bathroom for a minute before I made my way through the crowd. It felt like I was in a fog, I knew I wasn't walking straight, but everything around me was moving and my vision was blurred. It felt like I was moving in slow motion compared to everyone else, but when I finally made it to the bathroom I was relieved to find it empty. I needed some peace and quiet to get myself together.

I leaned on the counter for a minute before running the cold tap and splashing some water on my face. It probably ruined my make up, but as my dizziness and disorientation got worse I was quickly realizing my night was over anyway and increasingly suspicious that someone had slipped me something.

As if that thought summoned him, I looked up from the sink to see Nick in the mirror as he closed and locked the door behind him.

I spun around to face him, trying my best to pretend the fast movement hadn't made me so dizzy I could barely see and stood tall in front him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, trying not to let my horror show in my voice despite how badly I was slurring my words.

"You're surprised?" He asked, that stupid smirk still on his face. "I said that I'd see you soon."

"I-I thought that was just another stupid taunt that you'd be too cowardly to follow through with."

I saw a flash of anger in his eyes as I practically clung to the counter to keep myself upright. There was a strange darkness creeping into the edges of my vision that I was fighting as hard as I could, a struggle that didn't escape Nick's notice.

"How're you feeling?"

"What did you give me?" I asked, filling with dread as he moved across the room. "Why are you doing this to me?"

My second question came out much more pitiful than I would have liked, but the situation was becoming dire and I knew that no matter how loud I screamed, no one would hear it over the music.

"You never forget your first time," He told me, a slimy smile still on his face. "It's normal to get attached."

My brain was quickly falling apart and his words added to my confusion.

"There's no way that I was your first," I argued, pressing myself into the counter as hard as I could as if the extra millimetres I was putting between us would make any difference.

"In some senses you are," He grinned. "How could I ever forget that power, that control, the feelings it gave me, that you gave me."

Suddenly I understood what he meant as his body was now right against mine, his hand reaching up to stroke my cheek. I wanted to throw up and not just from the drugs.

"You're a monster," I spat at him. "You're a rapist!"

The anger was back in his eyes and before I could even process what was happening his hand was around my throat. I felt him squeezing and I found myself gasping for air. I reached up with weak hands to try and pull his hand away, scratch him, anything to get him to let go, but my brain was foggy enough before it's air supply was cut off and I didn't have the strength. Just as I thought I was about to pass out, he used the hand around my throat to toss me to floor. I coughed and gasped and luckily had landed on my side since I didn't even have the energy to sit up as I retched up the drinks I'd had so far that evening.

"You're disgusting!" He snarled at me, moving around to give a swift kick to my ribs once I'd emptied my stomach as if I wasn't already suffering enough. "Look at you, laying there helpless in your own vomit. I could do anything I wanted to you and you'd be powerless to stop it."

A tear slid down my cheeks at his words as I shut my eyes, partially because I could bare to see what would happen next and partially because they were too heavy to keep open anymore.

"You've aged though which is a shame," He continued as I found it harder and harder to breathe. "But lucky for you I suppose. We both know how I prefer my girls to be. Young and virginal, not all used up like you. Does that boyfriend of yours know what a little slut you've been since I helped you discover the wonders of sex?"

I wanted to protest, scream and shout that he hadn't helped me discover anything. He'd hurt me, he'd ruined 'the wonders of sex' for me for years, but all that came out was a groan. He chuckled at the sound and I felt his hand around my throat again, but this time tracing the chain that held the pendant Spencer had given me for Christmas. Even my muddled brain knew that was one thing he couldn't take from me so, finding strength from somewhere, I jerked away. My actions only brought more laughter from him though as he gripped the chain and tugged.

"Can't get very far now, can you?" He teased me as I whimpered, feeling myself slowly slipping out of consciousness. "Such a lovely gift, I'm sure it has lots of sentimental value. Hopefully that boyfriend of yours will take this as a warning that you're not worth the time."

I forced my eyes open just a tad in time to see him place the pendant on the floor almost delicately before stomping on it causing it to shatter into a thousand pieces. My heart ached at the sight, but before I could protest in any fashion I was out cold with one thought running through my head.

Find me, Spencer. Please, find me.


Note: Bit of a cliffhanger there! I should be able to post one more chapter tomorrow before I go away because today I'm supposed to pack and I hate packing so writing is a good excuse to procrastinate haha