Christmas is always a stressful time. As happy and joyful as it is, it gets a bit chaotic and usually comes with some family drama. That was the problem that popped up for me and led to the first real test for Spencer and I since our engagement.

I'd proposed the idea to my parents at the beginning of December that they come back to DC and spend Christmas with Spencer and I and at first, the response seemed positive, but the more I pushed them for dates and times and firm plans, the more they resisted. Finally, just a week before Christmas they finally confessed that they wouldn't be coming for the holidays. Spencer and I were more than welcome to visit them, but they weren't willing to travel.

I felt defeated. Things had been going so well with us the last few months. I'd been calling more, including them in my life, my dad and I managed to have full conversations without arguing and they seemed genuinely excited about the engagement. So I couldn't grasp why they wouldn't want to try spending the holidays together and possibly have a nice, happy family Christmas for the first time in years.

I went through the rest of the day, wrapped up in my own mind. I taught my classes completely on auto-pilot and barely even remember the walk home as my mind couldn't have been farther away. I poured myself a glass of wine and curled up on the window seat as I tried to figure out why they'd be so opposed to coming to visit and what else I could do to repair our apparently still broken relationship. I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice when Spencer came home until he was standing in front of me.

"Oh! Hi!" I gasped, jumping at the sight of him. "I didn't hear you come in."

His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

"I called out for you when I came in the door," He informed me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course," I forced a smile. "I must've been lost in my thoughts. How was your day?"

He eyed me suspiciously, but let it drop for how.

"It was good, just a paperwork day. Not the most exciting, but I find it relaxing."

A more genuine smile slid onto my face.

"Only you would find paperwork relaxing, Spence," I teased. "But I'm glad you had a good day."

I reached out for him, wrapping my arm around his neck to pull him close when he moved towards me before pressing my lips against his. I sighed softly as we parted a moment later and Spencer's hand reached up to stroke my hair, the concern back on his face.

"What's wrong, Mickey?" He asked again. "You're very subdued."

"Nothing," I insisted again, not in the mood to discuss it. "Just tired, I had a long day today. I took over an advanced class for Annie today so my body worked harder than usual."

His eyes narrowed as he scanned my face, no doubt profiling me to see if I was being honest with him.

"Are you sure that's all it is?" He pressed, but when I nodded my head it was his turn to sigh as he sat down beside me on the window seat, pulling my legs into his lap to keep me close. "Mikayla, tell me what's going on. This is exactly the kind of thing we promised we'd work 're obviously upset, but you won't talk to me."

"I'm just overreacting, I think," I assured him. "It's not a big deal, I promise."

"What's not a big deal?" He asked, reaching for my hand and mindlessly playing with my ring.

The sight of it reminded me that he was right. We'd promised each other that we'd work on being open and here was the first opportunity I had to do so and I was blocking him out. So, with a sigh, I went against my instincts and opened up.

"My parents won't come for Christmas," I informed him. "They said that we could go and see them, but they don't want to travel again."

"That's disappointing," Spencer nodded. "But we could go there. I'm sure Hotch wouldn't mind me having a few days off, I rarely use my vacation time anyway."

I shook my head frantically at the suggestion.

"No," I said firmly. "I'm not going to California. I'm not ready to be in the same state as Nick Richley."

"But you went back to California for Christmas the first year you were home," Spencer pointed out. "And besides, this is probably the safest time to go back. He's safely locked away in prison at the moment, but depending on his sentencing and behaviour, he'll probably be released in the not too distant future."

"You're not helping, Spencer!" I snapped, pulling my hand out of his and trying to move my legs out of his lap, but his grip stayed firm.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," He apologized quickly, realizing that his facts weren't as comforting as he had expected. "We don't have to go to California if you don't want to. I understand that it would be difficult for you."

"It would be," I nodded. "Even if I went before, even if I know he's in jail. It makes me anxious even thinking about going there, but when I explained that to my parents they didn't understand."

"What did they say?"

"My dad said that I was overreacting and couldn't let Nick control my life anymore," I explained. "And basically that I was being selfish and lazy for expecting them to fly out for the second time this year and then possibly again later in the new year if we decide to get married sooner instead of later."

"That's a bit harsh," Spencer frowned. "They could have just said no."

"They could've," I agreed. "But that's how things have been with my dad since everything fell apart between us. He gets defensive and turns everything around on me whenever we have a disagreement."

"Probably because of his unresolved guilt over how he reacted when you told him you'd been raped," Spencer mused. "He knows he let you down so he has to turn it around and put that blame on you."

"Probably," I nodded, feeling tears start to well up in my eyes. "I can see why he does it when you explain it like that, but I thought we were getting past this, you know? I thought that we were doing okay and moving on, but this still feels like they're angry with me."

"They had no reason to be angry with you in the first place," Spencer informed me, bristling slightly at the thought. "If they'd handled the situation appropriately when you came to them then everything after that would have been very different."

"I know," I sniffled. "But I still put them through hell. Even if it was a cry for help, I would go out binge drinking and disappear for days, they'd have to pick me up regularly from the drunk tank in the police station, I'd throw parties at their house if they ever went away for the weekend. I know I burnt the bridge between us even if I only did it because they let me down, but I thought we were making progress."

"It definitely seemed like you were," Spencer nodded. "I know your dad may have said some things that were hurtful, but maybe the reason they aren't coming has nothing to do with you. Maybe they can't afford it or maybe the thought of travelling during the busiest time of the year is just too much for them."

"I know," I sighed, leaning back against the wall as I wiped my eyes. "I just don't know how else to fix things with them or how to get rid of the resentment on both sides."

"I think it's just something that will come with time," Spencer said offering me a sympathetic smile. "But we can still have a great Christmas here. JJ's having a Christmas Eve party at her place to celebrate Henry's first Christmas and we could invite Kevin and Garcia over for dinner on Christmas Day."

I smiled at his back up plans and had to admit, it sounded like more fun than a potentially awkward Christmas with my folks.

"That sounds wonderful," I told him, reaching for his hand once again. "As long as you cook the turkey because I would probably burn the whole building down."

Spencer laughed and lifted my hand up to gently kiss the back of it and I had to admit that talking about our problems definitely made things easier than sulking about it, struggling alone and feeling sorry for myself.

And Spencer was right about us having a great Christmas anyway. We decorated our apartment, got ourselves a nice tree, baked cookies and did all the typical festive things in the week leading up to it.

On Christmas Eve, we went over to JJ's with the rest of the team, armed with an entire mountain of presents and educational gifts for Henry. Spencer took his godfather job very seriously and intended to spoil Henry every time the opportunity arose. JJ was not super impressed with his over the top number of gifts, but she knew his heart was in the right place and let it slide. Spencer had Henry in his arms for almost the entire night, talking away to him quietly as Henry stared up at him, listening intently the whole time, occasionally interrupting by sticking his fingers in Spencer's mouth or pulling on his hair a bit too hard. They had a bond already despite the few times Spencer had managed to visit him in his short two months of life and it was heartwarming to see. It also spurred on the interrogations about when we would be having 'baby genuises' of our own, but I laughed off his team's questions, assuring them it would be a while before we got there yet.

On Christmas day, we woke up late, opened our presents and spent the day relaxing. In the late afternoon, Spencer started cooking the turkey for Garcia, Kevin and Emily who all had accepted our invitation to come over for Christmas dinner and I called my parents. Spencer had insisted that I did so and I was pleasantly pleased with the response. They were happy to hear from me and we had a good conversation, leading me to believe that Spencer had been right. Before my dad's defensive nature got in the way, they probably did have a perfectly good reason for not wanting to fly out for the holidays that had nothing to do with me being selfish.

Overall, it was a wonderful holiday season that left me refreshed and filled with love for all the people I was lucky to have in my life.


Note: Being incredibly broke after a vacation is the key to productivity! I wrote so much yesterday because I had no money to do anything else. I'll still be spacing out the chapters and posting every other day or so because I have a busy work week ahead, but big things on the horizon! ;)