I own none of the characters of Angel
My heart…I felt it beating but I didn't understand why it was beating. I tried to stretch out and sit up but my whole body hurt, one of the downfalls of being human again. Oh my God, I was human again. The Powers That Be decided that I deserved to be human again, that much I got but what I didn't get was why.
"Angel are you okay? What happened?" Cordy asked rushing over to me.
"Cor…I…" I didn't know quite what to say. Maybe I was just hallucinating. Maybe I wanted a heartbeat so badly that I was imagining it. I took her hand and placed it on my chest over my heart. I watched as her eyes widened in surprise.
"You're heart…it's beating."
"It's real?" She nodded.
"Do you know what this means?"
"No I don't. I have no idea what this means. Is it permanent? Is it an effect of the spell we cast? Will it wear off in two minutes, two hours, two days? I don't know anything."
"Angel…"
"We have to go to see The Oracles."
"Is that really necessary?"
"I have to know."
"Okay, let's go." I nodded and tried to stand up.
"Cor… can you help me? Everything hurts." She giggled. "This is not funny."
"Sorry of course it's not." She bent over and with her help I managed to stand and get to the car. "Okay how do we get there?"
--
"Lower being you are here because something has changed and you have questions."
"Damn straight something has changed. I have a heartbeat."
"Yes you do."
"What does it mean?" I asked and The Oracles laughed.
"It means that you are human."
"I know that." I snapped. "What I don't know is if it is permanent?"
"Yes it is permanent. Humanity isn't a gift that The Powers give lightly."
"Why did they give me this gift?"
"It was foretold in the prophecy. You have finally done enough good, saved enough lives that you were granted humanity."
"All I did was blow up a building."
"Stupid lower being. You have done much more than that. Sure this time you just blew up a building but by doing so you saved countless lives that Wolfram & Hart would have killed all because you received an unbelievable vision. You could have chosen to blow that vision off and ignore what you saw but you took that information and you changed the future."
"It still doesn't seem like enough to merit me a heartbeat." I mumbled.
"You were given a gift. Why can't you just accept it and move on?" I didn't answer them. "When your seer turned evil and was pregnant with her evil self. We saw, The Powers That Be saw how much you loved her and yet you terminated the pregnancy knowing it could kill the woman you loved in the process. That is one of the biggest sacrifices that anyone could make."
"But she didn't die. She is alive waiting outside for me."
"But you didn't know that when you killed her baby, the baby that would have accomplished world domination had you not killed it. You saved the world when you killed that being. More recently you assisted in closing The Hellmouth, again, more lives that you helped save. Shall we spend the next few hours going over your resume?"
"I guess that's not necessary."
"The Powers had decided to give you back your humanity when you killed the evil being inside of The Seer but they didn't see you falling into the coma. When that happened the next apocalypse by the hands of The Circle of the Black Thorn and Wolfram & Hart was discovered and they decided to send you the vision so you could do one last job, which you did successfully."
"Why not Spike? He helped close The Hellmouth. He helped me destroy The Circle. He has a soul too."
"Why are you fighting against this gift?"
"I'm not fighting this. I'm just asking questions."
"There is a big difference between you and Spike. You didn't ask for a soul. It was given to you as a punishment to allow you to feel the guilt over the lives you took. You took that guilt and you turned it around into something good. You wanted to try to make amends for the lives you took and even though you knew that you could never atone for your past you tried and never gave up. Spike on the other hand had a microchip implanted into his brain to help him be good and then he asked for a soul. When you got your soul you suffered for years while Spike suffered for a few weeks. You used your soul to save lives. Spike did not. Would you like The Powers to take back your gift and give it to Spike?"
"Hell no."
"Then do you agree to accept your humanity?"
"I just…do I really deserve it?" I think that was my problem. I didn't deserve this.
"You do."
"So that's it? I'm a normal human guy?"
"Almost."
"Almost?" Of course there was a catch. There is always a catch in my life.
"You will live and die like a normal human guy as you put it."
"So what the hell is the catch? This time around if I have sex will I be turned back into a vampire?"
"Don't be ridiculous. You're humanity can never be revoked. The Powers still want you on their team but you will be rather worthless as an average human."
"Which means?"
"They have made you an anomaly of sorts. They have given you the strength of a slayer." My mouth dropped open in shock.
"So they have made me a vampire slayer? Vampire slayers are women."
"Hence the anomaly." It sounded like The Oracles were making a joke.
"Anything else I should know?"
"No. You know everything now. Do you want to remain human?"
"I do."
"Then go and be human." I was flashed outside against a wall where Cordy was waiting anxiously.
"Owww." I groaned. "I'm not sure if I'm cut out to be human. I don't remember the last time I hurt so badly. Everything hurts."
"You'll get used to it." She grinned and helped me to my feet. "So it's real?"
"Yeah it's real."
"Tell me what they said."
"I would love to but I'm starving." As if on cue my stomach growled.
"Come on my human boy. Let's feed you." Grinning we linked hands and headed to the car. "What are you hungry for?" She asked me.
"Anything that is edible." Suddenly I remembered our friends. "Have you called the hotel? Is everyone alive?" Oh God, if someone I loved had died tonight while I was becoming human I would never forgive myself.
"I called while you were with The Oracles. Everyone is fine."
"Even Connor?"
"Even Connor."
"Did you tell them about…?"
"About you becoming human?" I nodded. "No I didn't. It's not my secret to tell. I know that you'll tell them when you're ready."
Since it was the middle of the night Cordy took me to a diner that was open all night. I looked through the menu but I couldn't decide what I wanted. Besides my twenty-four hour human stint when I ate nothing but junk I hadn't had solid food in over two hundred years and the food had changed a lot since Liam ate his last bite. There was stuff on here I had never heard of.
"Cordy what should I get? What is good?"
"What I think is good you might not think is good. You'll have to make the decision on your own."
"Well maybe I'll order one of everything."
"You can't do that Angel. You'll make yourself sick and you'll never eat it all. You have the rest of your life to try all kinds of food."
"So what'll it be?" The waitress asked us.
"I'll have the bacon cheeseburger and fries."
"And you sir?"
"I'll have the steaks and eggs."
"How would you like your steak?" I knew that rare steaks tended to be bloody and I wasn't ready to deal with blood yet so I went for well done.
"Good choice." Cordy complimented once the waitress walked away. "Blood probably not the best thing for you right now." I nodded. "So tell me everything." She begged.
I spent the next few hours eating my first meal, which was so delicious that I ordered a second plate. I told Cordy everything that The Oracles told me. She asked me so many questions and if I knew the answer I gave them to her and if I didn't we both speculated on the answers.
"My stomach feels weird." I said
"You ate to much."
"I feel full; something that never happened when I was a vampire."
"I still can't believe that you are human again."
"Cordy what time does the sun rise?" She glanced at her watch.
"It's 5:30 so probably in about an hour."
"I want to see the sun rise. Can you take me somewhere so I can it rise? I want to see my first sunrise with the woman I love."
"I know the perfect place."
Thirty minutes later she had taken me to some bluffs by the ocean. Thankfully not the same bluffs that we were supposed to meet the night that Connor sunk me to the ocean. She pulled a blanket out of my trunk and spread it out on the ground. I stood on the edge of the bluffs and looked out taking in my first view of the ocean as a human being. When I saw the sun beginning to rise over the horizon I went and sat with Cordy on the blanket. She scooted between my legs and laid her head against my chest.
"Wow." I whispered as the sun lit up the sky. "It's amazing. I never thought I would see the sun rise again and here I am with you watching this."
"You deserve it Angel." I linked my hand in hers.
"What do I do now Cor? I don't have a mission, a purpose anymore? I feel lost."
"You still have a mission Angel. You're a slayer now. You're mission is to help save innocent people from vampires, practically the same thing you've been doing for years. The only difference is you are a vampire slayer now not a vampire. You're human. You can do normal human things during the day. You can swim, get a tan, see a matinee, and go to a baseball or football game. You can walk outside and get the paper or mail. There are so many things that you can do Angel. The possibilities are endless. You have the whole world at your fingertips."
"Would it make me less of a human if I admitted that I'm scared shitless?" She giggled and turned around to face me.
"Angel being scared would make you exactly what you are now, human. Humans get scared; it's what makes us human. Only vampires are brave all the time." She placed her hand on my cheek. "It's okay to be scared and it's okay to admit it."
"But what about if I lose you because I'm not the same man you fell in love with?"
"My sweet Angel. You are the same man I fell in love with. You just have a heartbeat now. You'll never lose me. I love you human or vampire."
"Promise?"
"I promise." She wiped away the lone tear that had fallen onto my cheek and pressed her lips to mine. "I love you Angel."
"I love you Cordelia." I crashed my lips to hers and kissed her hard until I had to pull away to breathe, something I hadn't done in over two hundred years. As I tried to get my breath back Cordy placed soft kisses on my neck while her fingers began unbuttoning my shirt. "Cor…we're outside."
"It's seven in the morning Angel. No one but us will be up here." She told me as she slipped my shirt off my shoulders.
"Don't we need…protection?" I asked her weakly. I hadn't had to think about protection in…forever. Liam never used anything and my former vampire self didn't need any. Now that I am human I am sure that I can conceive a child and I have to get a handle of being human myself before I could even consider being responsible for another one, especially a baby.
"I'm on the pill Angel." She pulled her shirt over her head. "No worries." She grinned at me as I slid my arms around her back, unhooked her bra, removed it and tossed it to the ground. As soon her breasts were free from their confines I placed my hands on them gently caressing them. They felt so soft, softer then I remembered from my coma vision. When I put my mouth on her nipple she groaned loudly. She threw her head back and dug her nails into my shoulders as I fervently sucked on her supple, luscious breast. "Angel…kiss me." She begged lifting my mouth away from her breast and bringing her mouth to mine.
When I broke free of our embrace I tenderly laid her back onto the blanket and removed her pants and underwear. I lifted her leg to my mouth and placed her polished toes in my mouth sucking on each of them drawing moans from her mouth. When I finished with her toes I kissed my way up her shin, her knee, her thigh until I reached her hot wet center. The second I put my tongue inside of her she bucked her hips, grinding herself into my face. She tasted so sweet and I lapped up her juices like she was an ice cream cone, savoring her sweetness. I increased the speed of my tongue until she was convulsing in pleasure.
"Angel." She gasped as I kissed my way up her belly until I found her mouth and I kissed her hard. When she tasted herself on my lips her hips arched towards mine; telling me she wanted more. "I need you inside of me NOW."
"Whatever you want sweetheart." I suddenly realized that I was still wearing my pants. "Dammit." I jumped to my feet and tried to get out of my pants, which was proving to be quite difficult because I was in such a hurry.
"Problems?" She smirked from the blanket.
"Shut up." I was jumping, trying to pull my pants off when I fell on my ass, pants and boxers down around my ankles. "Son of a bitch." I muttered and Cordy just laughed.
"Are…you…okay?" She asked between giggles and I just glared at her. She sat up on her knees and helped me from my pants. "Is your ass okay?" That sent her into another fit of laughter.
"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." I said with a smile. Dammit, her laughter was contagious. I found myself laughing along with her. It was pretty damn funny. When our laughter finally died down I took her into my arms, kissed her as I pushed her back onto the ground. I spread her legs and sheathed myself inside of her. "Dear God." I groaned. She felt so perfect I almost came right then and there but I was able to hold myself back. I moved slowly inside of her, not wanting to rush this.
"Angel…faster…please…" She begged. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I moved faster within her, watching her beautiful face the entire time, When I felt her walls tighten around me I lost all self control and I exploded inside her and she followed soon after me. Once her trembling ceased I pulled out and collapsed next to her. Cordy placed her head on my chest, her ear right above my new heart, which was still pounding.
"Cordy that was…"I was trying to think of the right word to describe this wonderful experience. "Different." She lifted her head and glared at me. Guess I picked the wrong word. "Not different in a bad way." I quickly explained.
"Okay different how?" She conceded.
"It was wonderful, amazing, spectacular, just like it was when I had my vision but it felt different. It was like I could feel things more intently. Your body felt softer, your lips too. You tasted sweeter and when I was inside of you…my God…it felt so right…so perfect, more so than last time."
"It's because you're human Angel and you are feeling things more intensely now because of that." I pulled her up on my chest and kissed her deeply.
"That was without a doubt the best sex that I have ever had." I told her when we broke apart.
"And it will just get better."
"I can't imagine that."
"Get to imagining buddy." She said with a grin. "You know it was different for me too."
"Really? How?"
"Before during our vision sex you were always so cold. I felt like I was doing an ice-cube but today you were so warm."
"Jesus Cor, you should have said something."
"I wanted to be with you so badly that the cold didn't matter and besides I was able to work up a sweat pretty quickly." She pulled herself up from my chest.
"Come back." I whined, reaching out for her.
"We really should get dressed. People will probably be coming around here soon and you are so damn pale I don't want to risk any of your special parts getting sunburned."
"Good point." We both quickly rose to our feet and put our clothes back on. I had just zipped up my pants when an older couple came around the bend. Even though I was dressed, except for my shoes and socks, I still turned red, something I never did as a vampire. "Cordy is there an easy way to get down to the ocean? I want to walk on the beach."
"Sure there is. We can drive."
"Such a smart ass." We climbed into the car and drove down to the beach. I closed my eyes, laid my head on the back of my seat and enjoyed the sun beating down on my face and the wind on my face. I didn't open my eyes until the car stopped and was turned off. We got out of the car, linked hands and began our walk on the beach.
"I'm sure that Wesley has connections to get you a birth certificate and a social security card but to do that you're going to need a last name. You can't go around with just one name. Only singers can get away with that and trust me baby, you can't sing." I shot her a glare and she just laughed. "Okay so what was Liam's last name? You can have his last name again." I shook my head.
"I don't want that last name. I am not Liam anymore. I haven't been Liam in a very long time. Liam was not a good guy and I don't want to be reminded of who I used to be and what I've done every time I hear that name."
" I understand. It was just a suggestion." We spent the next thirty minutes arguing over possible last names. She hated everything that I threw out there and I hated everything that she suggested. "You are hopeless." She said in an exasperated tone. We walked in silence for a few minutes until the perfect last name hit me.
"Doyle." I said.
"What about him?"
"Doyle was a good man who showed me what my mission was. It's because of him I am standing here today, out in the sunlight with you. I want to continue to honor Doyle and one way I can that is by carrying his last name."
"Angel Doyle. I think that it's perfect." She said with a tearful smile. I stopped walking and turned her to face me.
"Cordelia, I'm also here because of you too. I am so lucky to have you in my life, to be loved by you. I continued fighting because of you and you're faith in me."
"Angel I feel the same way about you."
"I'm mortal now. Hopefully I will be able to grow old and gray and I want to do it with you by my side."
"What are you saying Angel?" I dropped to one knee and took her hand. I knew that this is what I wanted more than anything.
"Cordelia will you marry me?" I heard her a sharp intake of her breath. "I love you more than anything and I know that I am doing this all wrong. I know that I should have a ring and flowers but I didn't plan on becoming human. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Cordy, loving you and making you happy. I want a home with a white picket fence; I want to have babies with you. I want to grow old with you and rock our grandchildren on our front porch. I want a life with you. Cordy, please will you marry me?" Through my tears I was able to discern that she was crying too. She pulled me to my feet and placed a hand on my cheek.
"My sweet sweet Angel. I couldn't imagine a more perfect proposal. The man I love asked me to marry him. It doesn't get more perfect than that."
"Is that a yes?" I asked her nervously.
"Yes Angel I will marry you. Yes a hundred million times yes." She threw her arms around my neck with such force that it knocked me into the water. I landed on my back and she was on top of me, kissing me passionately, confirming her acceptance of my proposal.
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