Dedication: This one's for Mari and MariEvenstar (I'm not sure if you're the same person or not hehe), whose questions have made me realize what course of action Legolas would really take upon receiving Tauriel's answers. Thank you! :)

Note: This is a two POV chapter.


Eleven: Rhoss


It did not matter now.

In fact, everything was for the best.

Legolas' awakening the next day was like the weather: dull and lifeless. There was no sun, no wind, no indication of rain. It was gray and dry. Fog riddled the banks and covered the already hidden forest, and even the waters of the river remained unmoving and still.

You should tell her soon, Legolas.

Those were Aegnir's last words to him. And he almost did tell her, many times after that.

In fact, there were moments when he suspected that she already knew. For even when he could not speak the words, his body moved in a way that obeyed only his heart. He thought she could hear it in the lingering way he would hold her hand, or the way he would find himself beside her constantly. Like a shadow under in a field at a hot summer's day, he was always there. But Tauriel was never one to mistake a friend's touch for something else, and he knew that was what he was to her—a friend. And so the years passed and he never spoke. Maybe it was because he did not know whether she felt the same and he could not bear to see her shy away, like a stranger he knew nothing about. So he contented himself with whatever it was they had.

Until the night before.

He could not have possibly held it back. When she stood in front of him, so close he could feel her heartbeat; when they were miles from home and the ones who had tried to come between; when the years of denying and questioning and wondering boiled within him; when his heart finally succumbed to what he felt towards her. He could not have held back.

But it is the heart that unmasks, that makes itself most vulnerable.

Her response was something he probably should have been prepared for. She was not one to be so selfish as to make a choice entirely for herself. He knew that her answer was made in consideration of her duty, the king, and even of himself. She was trying to protect him, that much was clear. Yet knowing that did not mean the pain would not be felt. The feeling of betrayal washed over him like a wave from the sea. He did not know how many hours he stayed just watching the waters, emotions and thoughts clashing inside him. It was not so much her choice that hurt him, it was the feeling that, for the first time since he had known her, Tauriel had given up. And she had given up on them.

His footsteps were quiet as he made his way to her that morning. And it was where he left her that he found her, sitting on the ground by the forest. Her head leaned on the rough bark of a tree. A flash of recollection brought him back to when he would watch her sleep. Even now, he was convinced that he would see nothing more beautiful. He remembered when they would spend their nights just watching the stars in the highest trees deep in the forest. There were no duties there, no prying eyes and heavy expectations. There was only him and Tauriel, under the light of the heavens. Two souls that shared the joy of the unblemished peace they had created.

There was none of that peace today.

He could see it in the furrowing of her eyes and the muttering of her lips, even as she slept. Even with the moving waves, he had heard her cry the night before.

You are to marry her, so why are you doing this?

Her question rang clear, even hours and hours after. There was anger as she said it, but he knew there was also pain. A pain so profound he had never seen in her before. It was a simple question, but it had meant so much. It had meant that she had been watching, as he had been watching her. It had meant that his soul had not fooled itself, for she had never said she didn't love him back. But it also meant that he was not the only one hurting.

And he realized, as he kneeled beside her sleeping figure, why he needed to stop. It was not because he wanted to, and not because his feelings would change, but because he could not allow himself to be the reason she would suffer so.

"Tauriel," he called out her name gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes snapped immediately open, and widened at the realization that it was him waking her. He could see by their redness that he had not imagined the sobs he had heard the night before. Again, his chest clenched at the thought of what he had done. "It is only a few hours more to Esgaroth. We must leave now if we want to arrive there by nightfall. If they took to the river, then the dwarves will also be there today," he told her before standing up.

She felt his eyes boring onto him, but he avoided her gaze. It took a moment before she replied. "Yes. I apologize for not waking earlier," her voice was dry and weak. The leaves beneath her shifted as she rose to stand.

"How is your wound?" he asked, finally looking at her eyes.

Confusion was etched on her face, but now, she answered quickly. She shook her head. "It will not get in the way."

He nodded. "Then let us go."

He knew he could have said so much more, but he did not speak. And he would not ask her again, because he knew she had made her decision.

It did not matter now. There was nothing left for them, because she would not love him back. But that did not mean he had to stop loving her.


If only she could tell him how much he mattered to her.

But she could not, because the moment had gone forever. She had given him her empty answer, and the words she wanted to speak were stuck in her chest, and would never again have another opportunity to be let out. Not after what she had done.

She could still see the look of betrayal on his face, when she had pushed him away. And it made it all the more confusing for her. For after all she had done, she was expecting sadness, silence, and even anger. She would have understood had he left her and went back to the castle, she would have understood if he did not speak to her, but there was none of that. If anything, his care for her had risen all the more. And she hated it, because she did not deserve it.

Their travel continued as if nothing had happened the night before. There were times as they ran through the trees that Tauriel doubted whether the events truly transpired. If it was not for the deep sadness that hid beneath his eyes those few times he would look at her, and the incontestable feeling that still lingered on her lips, she would have thought it was all a dream. But it was impossible, because she could never have simply imagined the sensation that remained in her chest.

And her feelings she continuously buried back, into the deepest corners of her being. She hid whatever pain and longing she harboured, and became only the Captain of the Guard, a loyal subject of her prince.

It was a few hours before Esgaroth that they discovered another camp.

"It is different." Legolas' eyes furrowed deeply as he kneeled beside the blackened fireplace. "I do not know how, but this is different."

Tauriel quietly agreed. If treachery abounded the last camp they had been attacked in, this one felt strangely familiar. The smell in the footsteps imprinted on the ground was not new.

"These prints," he studied the dried earth. "These are boots from the kingdom," he frowned. "But I know of no one who been sent to scout. Father would not have allowed Irima and Glines to leave."

"It has been a few days since this camp was abandoned," she spoke the first time since they left the beach. "Whoever rested here must now be too far for us to reach."

"It is a pity," he agreed. He brushed his hands as he stood. "Maybe we could have had a few of our questions answered," he glanced at her. "Here," he said simply as he tossed his flask of water to her.

She caught it. "I do not need it, ernil-nin," she said, tossing it back.

He frowned, either because of her answer, or because of the way she had addressed him. "You ran out of water an hour ago. There will be no fresh water from here to Esgaroth. The river has become polluted from the wastes of the fisher-folk," he said, tossing it again.

She was tempted to let it fall, but her arm stretched towards the flask in reflex. "I told you I don't need it. We are near the town. I will find water there. Thank you, ernil," she could not help but emphasize the word again. "But I do not need this," she returned it.

He caught it back, and gazed at her for a long moment before sighing and returning it to his holder. "If that is what you claim," he said. Without another word, he disappeared through the trees.

It was dark when he spoke again. "Esgaroth." They were on the borders of the human town. Even from afar, and even in the night, it was noisy and busy. The lights flickered from the windows and in the water. She and Legolas walked quicker, the murmurs from within beckoning them.

Together, they crept through the houses, the always damp ramparts squelched beneath their boots. They made to the top of a tall building, overlooking the settlement. She peered through the wooden houses, hoping for the sighting of any of the dwarves. But there were only the occasional night-wanderers rushing through the narrow paths in whispers. In the air, she could smell the permanence of the salty sea and of fish. But there was also something else. "Yrch?" she asked, her eyes widening in horror.

Before Legolas could answer, a scream coming from the south met her ears.

Without waiting for another word, she jumped to the next roof, rushing to get to the voice. She was sure it was of a young girl. Her blood boiled within her, it was to be expected of the orcs, to attack an innocent. As she neared the source of the commotion, other sounds floated from the house. Grunts and snarls of orcs, and heavy wooden items splintering as they fell, but she could also hear shouts of another kind. Deep and now familiar voices. "The dwarves!" she shouted to Legolas, who was running behind her. So they were still here, after all.

Three arrows she shot and three orcs fell, even before she arrived at the house. When she came to the door, a flurry of commotion met her eyes. Children were hiding under a table, and orcs were everywhere in the room. The few dwarves present struggled to fight the creatures, using tools and items unfit for battle. Her daggers were quickly brought out and without hesitation, she plunged them into the flesh of the nearest orcs.

Legolas followed quickly after, she could not see him for her eyes were focused on the enemies, but there was no mistaking the light steps and swift cuts of his knives. It was a while until she finally saw Kili, lying powerless on the bed. For a second, her heart beat faster, for his skin was pale and there was a bandage on the leg that had been injured days ago. But the moment passed and all she knew was that she could do nothing whilst the orcs attacked. More of them she killed but even more flooded into the room. Her daggers flashed into the night as she tirelessly fought them back.

And then Kili fell. His cry drowned all the sounds around her. She seemed to see nothing else but the young dwarf writhing on the floor. Again, the beating of her heart quickened, and her daggers hung limply in her hands. The other dwarf, Kili's brother, hurried beside her. She felt helpless as they watched him groan heavily with pain.

It seemed so long later when another sound stole her attention. A brute cry echoed outside, she understood nothing of their words, but she knew whoever released it was calling for them all. Like the preys they were, the orcs hurried to escape the wooden residence.

"You killed them all," said the young boy beside her, when all the orcs had gone. His voice was thick with awe and lingering fear.

"There are others," Legolas swept through the house, inwardly inspecting the damage. His gaze did not even linger on Kili. He stared, instead, at the night outside. The orcs were escaping, Tauriel knew that that was what weighed his mind now. "Tauriel, come," he ordered.

So many times before she had followed that order, and it had been so easy. She would have followed him anywhere, her prince. But that night, as she watched Kili struggle below her, she could not move.

"We're losing him," the older dwarf said, and although he spoke to Kili's brother, it seemed to Tauriel as if the words were directed at her.

Legolas seemed not to feel what she felt, as his eyes so easily left the figure on the ground. She met his gaze, and everything stopped as she remembered what had conspired the night before. She remembered the way he looked at her. "Tauriel," he said her name and nothing more then turned around and left, the escaped orcs calling for his weapons.

She breathed deeply, and then stepped to the door to follow. She would not deny him this time. He had come this far for her, he had left his home, and sacrificed while she had done nothing but hurt him. With the single word he had spoken, he had asked her to make a choice yet again. And this was what she wanted, was it not? She had wanted to defeat the orcs, and lessen the evil. Besides, Kili's companions would not leave him, they would find a way to heal him, and she would see him again. They would. They would—

Kili groaned again in pain. His breathing was heavier than before. Tauriel stopped by the door and swerved to see his disheveled hair beaded with sweat. He clenched his teeth together, holding against the deadly poison running and overtaking his system. Heavy steps approached them and Tauriel turned to see the other dwarf. He stopped in fright at the sight of her, but she paid no attention to him. For in his hands, was a clump of the plant she would never forget. The white cluttered flowers were few, and its leaves were frail and weak, but it was unmistakable. "Athelas," she whispered, as she walked forward and pulled the plant from his grasp. "Athelas," she said again, the familiar scent of the flowers calming her like it did so many years ago.

"What are you doing?" the dwarf asked, still looking at her.

Tauriel then remembered the dungeons of Mirkwood, and a promise she had spoken. Your mother worries for a reason, but I will not allow her fears to go unchecked. She remembered Kili's words of faraway caves and treasures, and she remembered how he had been there, when there was no one else. A smile almost took her lips as she looked back at the dwarf. "I'm going to save him."

Quickly, she ordered them to carry Kili to the table. She pulled a bowl from the small kitchen and calmed herself.

Now, more than ever, was she grateful she had endured the endless lessons in the arts of healing. She muttered a prayer of thanks to her mother even as she crushed the fragrant leaves in her hands. Behind her, they brought Kili to the table. His screams had only grown louder, and now the dwarf kicked and pushed. "Hold him down," she instructed as she spun to face them.

She walked beside him, peering at the wound that had troubled him for days. It was rotting now. There was no blood, only a black gaping hole of poison. And even his eyes had changed, a cloudy mist covered them, and she was sure his vision was filled with illusions and ghastly scenes. She realized then that if she did not act quickly, the rank of death would haunt them all. Without a second thought, she pushed the crushed leaves into his wound, and the words her mother had taught her long ago spilled out of her mouth. Even as she recited them, she could hear her mother explaining what would happen.

First, they will feel immense pain; it will be the last vestiges of the poison, trying to take over their body.

Kili's screams grew louder than ever before. If none in the village had heard him before, she was sure they heard him now. She could only imagine the bitterness from the contact the wound made with the herbs. Bracing herself, she pressed it deeper, forcing the liquid to enter his bloodstream.

And numbness, as the athelas spreads its power through their system.

The shouting stopped, and her voice seemed to grow with each word she spoke. It seemed to her like minutes as she spoke, pleading for healing from the Valor.

And then you wait.

Slowly, he raised his head, and she caught him staring. Calmness overtook her as she realized that the light of innocence and life had returned to his brown eyes.

It was over.


He slept soundly, and she could not help but wonder what kind of dreams filled the young dwarf's sleep. The children had retired to their rooms as the youngest one had been trembling with exhaustion, while the three other dwarves seemed intent on avoiding her as they stayed at the other side of the room. She had known from them that the others had already left for the mountain, and it was only because of Kili's wound that they had stayed behind. She had been surprised when she heard their story, for she had not expected their leader, Thorin, to have abandoned one of his companions. One of his blood.

She was tying the bandage on Kili's wound when he finally awoke.

"Tauriel," was the first thing he whispered.

She turned to face him. This was the second time he had called her name, and the oddity of being called by a dwarf both bothered and fascinated her. "Lie still," she told him gently. He appeared weak, but the paleness of his face was now long gone.

"You cannot be her," he continued to whisper, in a voice that wondered. Her hands stilled. There was something in the way he spoke that captivated her, and yet again, her mind drifted to the images of his words. "She is far away," his voice broke. "She is far, far away. She walks in starlight in another world," slowly, her eyes searched his, and the beauty and sadness in them made her pause. "It was just a dream."

The way he looked at her made it difficult for her to breathe. His hand rose slowly, questioningly, until they touched hers. She knew that so many would disapprove, so many would expect her to shy away from him, but her fingers stretched out to meet his. It was when they touched that she realized he would speak his next words, and the pain that she had just tried to hide away, returned as fresh as the night before. "Do you think she could have loved me?" he asked, his voice so soft.

The hoperfulness in his eyes clenched her heart with pain. She tightened his hold on his fingers hoping that they would catch her. "Kili," she whispered back, just as his fingers slackened and his eyes slowly drifted close.

"Why?" her voice trembled. She had thought her heart would not feel the same pain again, but here it was, and it seemed even worse than before. "Dear, sweet, Kili," she whispered, and her eyes blurred with tears. I could have anything down my trousers. She tried to smile as she pushed the hair from his face. Dear, mischievous, kind, Kili. She could not understand why and how, but the young dwarf touched her heart like none had ever before, and it pained her so deeply to see that a love so pure would have to end. "In another time, in another life...she would have loved you," she touched his cheek lightly. "But her heart has long been claimed by another."

Her legs weakened below her, and she fell to her knees beside the table. The dwarves looked at her curiously, but thankfully none of them tried to inquire of her breakdown. Her previous confession to Kili reminded her again of the matter she had tried to bury for the moment. It seemed Legolas would not allow her to rest from his clutch. She wondered where he was now, whether he realized that she would not be following him. She wondered what would happen to them, after everything. Her fingers again rose to her lips, and her eyes closed in the memory of their kiss. It seemed so much had happened in a day.

The mixture of sadness from the memory of Legolas and what she had done to Kili melded within her, choking her and pushing the tears from her eyes. She did not understand anymore, whether the things she had done were right, and now, it did not even seem to matter.

It was minutes when Kili spoke again, his words marred with deep laboured breaths. "If it is so, then why do you cry?"

She gasped, staring at the barely opened eyes. Her eyes softened, as she struggled to wipe her tears. "You—were awake?"

He struggled to smile at her. "I am also a master in deception, did I not tell you?"

She laughed, as her eyes once again blurred. "I am sorry," she choked.

He smiled gently, reaching out his fingers again. "Why would you ever apologize for falling in love?"

She could not answer him, and instead reached out again to hold his hand. She let the silent tears fall.

He frowned. He struggled to sit, but his strength had not yet returned and his head fell back. "Why do you cry, Tauriel? You cannot tell me it is only because of me." When she still did not answer, he smiled sadly, and tightened his hold on her. "It is because of the elf, isn't it?"

"The elf?"

"The one you told me holds your heart," he said quietly. "The blue eyed prince."

She stared at him, wondering how he had seen so much in such a short amount of time.

"You should have seen how he glared at me at the dungeons, after we first spoke. It was as if I had killed someone he knew," he shook his head at the memory, but he was still smiling. "He loves you, it was as clear as anything," his voice had become quiet. "So why..." he started at her. "...are you crying?

It was a while before she answered him, but his gaze never left hers. "He is to marry another. An eleth from Imladris. She is beautiful, young, and with a name. But even with that knowledge, he has confessed to me," she closed her eyes at the painful admission. "And I... I cannot return it. For how could I, when the choice had already been made? I cannot love one who is already sworn to another."

He looked away from her, and stared in a way that told her he was thinking. Then, to her surprise, he chuckled. "You elves are said to be wise, and sometimes you even speak words too deep I cannot understand, but you can be pretty clueless, can't you?"

"I... do not understand," she watched him.

"Of course you don't," he shrugged. This time, his effort to be seated was proven fruitful. His arms trembled as he pushed his body upwards, but he managed to raise his head, and he looked down at her. From such a height, Tauriel forgot that he was a being smaller than her, she forgot that they were different and supposed to be apart. Then, Kili was only a friend, one who cared. "You're looking at it the wrong way. You are right. The choice has been made, but the choice is and had always been, you. You say that he is sworn to another, but you also know that he has chosen to dismiss it and brave the consequences of his actions, no matter what they are. And," he spoke with certain sureness, as if he had seen everything that had happened between them. "I never understood all your ceremonies and rituals, but I do know that some of them are unreasonable. Now this is what my mother told me: in love, there is nothing else that matters but the two souls reaching for each other. And I know that elf loves you," he looked away as he said this. It was only after he took a deep breath that he turned back to her. "Now, Tauriel, do you love him?"

"Yes," she breathed, the simplicity of saying the single word seemed to remove a tremendous weight that she had been carrying.

"Then what are you waiting for?"

Sometimes, the smallest of questions had the ability to overturn even the heaviest barriers. For Tauriel, it had been the six words of Kili's question.

She opened her mouth hesitantly, but no answer came out. What could she say? She frowned as she looked to the ground but no matter how she tossed and turned the thoughts she had weighed for so long in her mind, no answer came. What was she waiting for? For Legolas, it had always been her. He had waited for her more times than she could count. Always when she ran to where he was, she would not worry, because she knew that when she got there he would be waiting. And now, he would be waiting for her again.

Tauriel realized then what she had long put aside: everyone had acknowledged Legolas feelings for her. Everyone except her. And now it was time she did the same.

She stood slowly, but a new strength seemed to flow in her legs. She could feel the rejection in the way Kili sat staring at her, but he was smiling. "Thank you," she whispered, as she took his hand again. Bending down, she kissed his bearded cheeks gently. "I have to leave now," she said as she pulled away. "He will be waiting for me."

Kili did not speak another word, but as she gathered her weapons, his brother walked to her. "You saved my brother's life," he said. "I do not know how to repay you, but—,"

"He has given me more than I have ever given him," she answered. She gave one last look at the now resting figure on the table. "Take care of him."

His brother nodded. "We will."

The wind whipped her face painfully, but this time she did not care. She ran as fast as she could, following the broken arrows and dead bodies that would lead her to where they went. She felt strangely at peace for what was to happen. In fact, she felt a kind of gratitude that she could finally succumb to what she felt. Only now did she see that fighting her emotions had grieved her heart more than she had ever realized. She knew even then that there were still so many complications, so many things standing in between. But they had long lives. They would find their way, slowly. No matter how long it took. For now, she had to tell Legolas what she felt. That was what she owed to him and to herself.

It was as she neared the exit of Esgaroth that the arrow flew from nowhere. It dashed in front of her, so close that it cut through her cloak. She stopped and looked warily around, her eyes widening. She had not heard any movement, nor were there any signs of orcs in the surrounding area. "Who's there?"

The whisper was closer than she thought. She could hear the malice behind the deep, baritone, voice. "Have you forgotten already, daughter?" Before she could react, she felt a sharp pain on the back of her head. In the split second that her consciousness remained, her heart and mind reached out towards the single person who would now be unable to save her. Legolas.

Heavy blackness forced her eyes to close, and then there was nothing.

END OF CHAPTER


A/N: I am sorry to have made you wait so long, but I promise I never meant to do it, and I do hope this chapter lives up to your expectations!

This one was so, so, so, difficult (which kinda made my update even more delayed). I struggled so hard with how Legolas would react, and I was writing a completely different draft when I realized with the help of your lovely reviews and by rewatching The Hobbit that Legolas would have reacted in only one way: acceptance. That was what he had done even despite everything movie-Tauriel had done to him (breaks my heart just thinking about it).

Anyway, the good news is, I have the next chapter done and I'm already working on the one after that! :) Expect surprises and a few discoveries in the next chapter. Update schedules will again be posted in my profile, and a big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and helped me get up on my feet! Love to all!

Rhoss = whisper

Please, please leave a review? (be kind!)

Love,

Vee