Spencer luckily recovered quickly from his anthrax poisoning and was released from hospital the following day. I tried desperately to convince him to take more time off work, but he refused as I assumed he would. Luckily, they had a bit of a slow week and it was mostly paperwork so he was close to home and I could make sure he wasn't pushing himself too hard.

We were still both a bit in shock about me being pregnant. I found myself staring at my stomach in the mirror every time I was near one as it just seemed so hard to believe that there was an actually tiny little human growing inside it. I caught Spencer looking at me quite often as well and whenever we were cuddling or curled up together in bed, his hand always rested on my lower stomach so I could tell he was trying to imagine it as well.

He left work early the following Wednesday to come to my appointment with me and we were both a mess of nervous excitement as we waited. We were going to find out how far along I was, but other than that I had no idea what to expect. Spencer practically leapt out of the chair as soon as they called my name and I smiled as I followed him down the
hallway.

The doctor went over the basics first, checking my heart rate and blood pressure, asking when my last period was and how I was feeling overall before leaving the room for me to change into a gown. Since I was probably quite early in the pregnancy they had to do a trans vaginal ultrasound to give a proper estimate of how far along I was and make sure things were going smoothly so far.

I was laying on the little bed with Spencer next to me, my hand in his when the doctor came back, smiling at the eager look on our faces.

"Alright, ready to see what's going on in there?" She asked. We both nodded as she helped guide my feet into the stirrups and prepared the ultrasound wand. It was fairly uncomfortable as she slid it inside me and I was fairly underwhelmed by what popped up on the screen. "Well there it is, there's your baby!"

She seemed very confident about that fact, but I couldn't see it. The screen was mostly white with a black spot in the middle, but there didn't seem to be any baby floating around. Thankfully, when I looked over at Spencer, the look on his face led me to believe that I wasn't the only one confused.

"I don't see it," I admitted with a sigh earning a chuckle from the doctor.

"Don't worry, that's very common at this stage," She assured us before leaning in to point to a tiny little white bump on the side of the black spot. "It's just that little lump right there. You're about seven weeks along so it's still very tiny."

Spencer perked up at this news.

"It should be about 4-7 millimetres big then," He informed us. "It should already have a circulatory system, it's nervous system is developing and there's the potential that we could be able to hear it's heartbeat, but it's not alarming if we can't just yet."

He rattled off his facts to the surprise of the doctor, but I just smiled and squeezed his hand.

"He's a genius with an eidetic memory," I explained as Spencer's cheeks grew a tad pink. "I'd be more surprised if he couldn't tell us everything about how it should be developing."

"Can we hear it's heartbeat?"

The eagerness in Spencer's voice made my own heart skip a beat as the doctor nodded.

"It's registering on the ultrasound so if I just..." She trailed off while she adjusted some things and pressed a few buttons before the little thud of it's heartbeat filled the room. "It's faint because it's still weak, but it's there and it's healthy."

I felt tears spring to my eyes at the sound and suddenly it felt real. There was a baby growing inside me. A baby that was half of me and half of Spencer all mixed up together. A baby that would be so smart and cute and so loved. I was overwhelmed with emotion, but didn't realize I was crying until I felt Spencer wiping away a tear from my cheek. As I looked over I could tell his eyes were glossy too and I squeezed his hand.

After letting us listen to the heartbeat for a few more moments, the doctor printed us a picture of the ultrasound before removing it and letting my put my legs back down. She confirmed once again that everything looked fine and gave me a list of vitamins to look into before leaving us so I could change and we could leave.

It wasn't until we got outside that Spencer stopped walking and pulled me into his arms.

"We have a baby," He mumbled into my hair. "We're actually going to have a baby."

"We are," I grinned into his chest. "It's gonna be the best, most loved little person in the world."

"It will be," He agreed, pulling away to place a soft kiss on my lips before grabbing my hand and moving to walk beside me again. "So what are we going to do about the wedding?"

I thought about it for a minute before shrugging.

"Still have it?"

"But you'll be about seven months pregnant by then," He reminded me. "Does that not bother you?"

"Not really," I shook my head. "I'm sure I can find a dress that'll look nice with a baby bump. Would it bother you?"

"No, absolutely not," Spencer rushed to assure me. "You'll look beautiful no matter what, as long as you're comfortable with it then I don't care."

"Perfect," I smiled. "Then we'll go ahead as planned."

"As long as you don't let yourself stress about it," Spencer warned me. "Stress increases the risk of premature birth and the risk of the baby having a low birth weight which can
cause major health problems."

"I promise I won't stress."

He nodded at my assurance and I couldn't help, but smile, knowing I would have to get used to his random facts every step of the way throughout my pregnancy.

"Have you told your parents yet?"

"No," I cringed at his question. "I'm not sure how they'll feel about it yet. I'm assuming they'll just be happy since we're already engaged, but it can be hard to tell with them these days. Have you told your mom?"

"No," He shook his head. "I'll write to her once you're past the three month mark and the risk of miscarriage drops significantly. I know nothing will happen, but if she gets excited and something does happen, I don't know if she would be able to handle that."

He had a very good point. The risk for miscarriage is far higher in the first three months than it is for the rest of the pregnancy and if we told everyone now and something happened, telling them the bad news would make the whole situation a lot worse.

"Have you told the rest of your team?" I asked, relieved when he shook his head. "Maybe we shouldn't? And we can tell Derek and Penelope to keep it to themselves just for a bit longer."

"If that's what you want," Spencer nodded. "It might kill Penelope, but it would be the safest choice."

"If she spills the beans, it's not the end of the world," I smiled. "It just might be nice to keep it quiet for a while."

Spencer agreed and once we got home, we called Derek and Penny and swore them to secrecy.


You would think that keeping a pregnancy secret for two more months wouldn't be a super difficult task, but as with everything in our lives, it didn't go to plan. Less than a week after we'd been to the doctors, I got another call from my lovely best friend informing me that my fiance was in the hospital.

I instantly flew into a panic, but my worry turned to anger when Penelope informed me that Spencer was not in grave danger this time, but had been shot in the leg. I quickly organized for one of the other teachers to cover my classes for the afternoon before making my way to the hospital and storming into his room. I paused for a moment, taking in the sight of him once again in a hospital bed. There were less tubes and wires this time, but his leg was propped up on a pillow and bandaged. He seemed to be in good spirit's though so I didn't feel nearly as much pity as I did for him the first time.

"What were you thinking?!" I snapped, drawing the attention of the four team members that were in the room. "Two weeks ago, you assured me you wouldn't take any unnecessary risks at work yet here we are again, in a hospital, because you've been shot!"

"Hey, hey, whoa, Mikayla, calm down," Derek said, coming over to put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, but I instantly pulled away.

"I'm not going to calm down!" I informed him. "What if the guy had better aim, Spencer? He could have killed you!"

"He wasn't even aiming at me," Spencer said, the pain he was in obviously preventing him from thinking clearly as he wasn't making things any better for himself. "He was aiming at someone we were protecting and I pushed him out of the way."

My jaw clenched as I fought back angry tears.

"Seriously?! Are you fucking insane?!"

"It's my job, Mickey," He reminded me. "And once again, I'm fine."

"I know it's your job, but it's also going to be your job to-" I was going to say 'be a father', but I stopped myself as three of the four other people in the room didn't know our news. "You just have other jobs too, okay? Jobs you need to be around to do!"

"I know," Spencer nodded, staying calm despite my hysteria and aggressive tone. "I'm sorry. I should've been more careful, but I'll be on crutches for a while now so that should keep me out of trouble."

"Good," I sighed, crossing my arms. I was still annoyed even if I could feel my concern creeping back in. "Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

"Yes it hurts," He nodded. "But yes, I'm okay. The bullet went straight through so it did minimal damage."

I opened my mouth to protest his definition of 'minimal damage', but Emily cut me off.

"Now that you're here to keep Spencer company, we're just going to go see how Hotch is doing."

I nodded my head to let them know that was fine until I realized that I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Hotch? Where's Hotch? Why would he not be doing just fine?"

They all shared a look before Derek explained the situation to me.

"He was attacked by an unsub who got away from us a few months ago," He explained. "He was stabbed multiple times and we think he's targeting Haley and Jack so they're going to be put in protective custody."

His voice stayed calm like what he was saying was no big deal, but I felt my heart rate skyrocket with every word he said.

"Oh my god," I gasped, bringing my hands up to rub my temples. "That's so horrible. Poor Hotch and Haley and, oh god, Jack must be so confused. I can't...I can't..."

I trailed off as I suddenly found it incredibly difficult to breathe. I felt dizzy and disoriented and like the room was closing in on me and there was no oxygen left. The harder I fought it, the worst the feeling got. I vaguely heard Spencer snap at Derek for upsetting me, but couldn't focus on anything until I realized JJ was leading me to a chair.

"Take slow, deep breaths," She advised me. "You're having a panic attack, Mickey, but you're going to be fine. Just follow me."

She held my hands as she took a deep breath in before slowly letting it out and I fought to control my breathing until everything started to settle back to normal.

"Everyone's going to be fine," Rossi assured me, looking shocked by my reaction as JJ continued to help me focus on my breathing and Emily rubbed my back. "It's not the ideal situation, but everyone is alive and recovering and that's what's important."

"I know," I nodded, feeling Spencer's eyes boring into me from across the room. "It's just all very overwhelming."

And then I was crying. Not just a few tears, cute and sweet. No, I was full on sobbing out of no where. I saw JJ and Emily exchange a look through my tears and I could feel the judgement even as they were trying to calm me down and assure me it was okay. Spencer could obviously sense it as well as his voice cut through my sobs.

"She's pregnant," He told them all. "That's why her reaction is so irrational right now, her hormones are completely out of whack."

"I'm not being irrational," I whined, wiping my eyes. "You got shot, your boss almost got killed and his family have to go into protective custody so they don't get killed. The fact that you're not all crying too is irrational!"

"Congratulations!" The team cheered as JJ popped up from where she was crouched in front of me to give me a hug and Emily squeezed my shoulders.

"It's nice to get some good news on a day like today," Rossi smiled. "When did you find out?"

"About a week and a half ago," I sniffled. "The day Spencer almost died from anthrax poisoning and promised me he'd try to be more careful."

"I didn't almost die," He rolled his eyes. "And I did try, it just didn't work out."

I glared at him half-heartedly as more questions came our way.

"How far along are you?" Emily asked. "And, wait a minute, why were you not surprised, Morgan?"

"I was present for her first hormonal break down," Derek smirked. "When she practically screamed the news at poor, dying Reid."

"I didn't scream it at him," I insisted as Spencer protested once again that he hadn't been anywhere close to death. "And I wouldn't have so many breakdowns if my fiance wasn't in hospital every other week!"

"Well good news for you then," A doctor announced, walking into the room. "Dr. Reid won't be able to fly for at least a few months and he'll be on crutches so that should limit the danger he can get into."

"Have you met this team?" I asked, sceptically. "They could get themselves into dangerous situations if you locked them all up in padded rooms.

There were chuckles throughout the room, but no one denied it.

"We really should go check on Hotch," JJ reminded everyone as the doctor moved over to check out Spencer's knee. "But congratulations, you two. We'll have to get dinner soon to celebrate."

I nodded and forced a smile before the team left us with the doctor. He finished checking him over and assured me that he would be completely fine before offering Spencer some painkillers which he firmly refused and leaving us alone.

I sat in the chair, staring Spencer down with my arms crossed over my chest in a huff. He watched me for a minute, a pout on his face, before he spoke.

"Why're you sitting all the way over there?"

"Because I had a panic attack and this is where JJ put me," I said plainly as if he hadn't seen the whole thing.

He sighed and moved over slightly, groaning in pain as he did so before patting the bed next to him.

"Come up here, please," He requested, his eyes looking too sad for me to refuse. "I could use a cuddle."

"And I could use a baby daddy that doesn't get himself shot," I grumbled as I reluctantly did as he asked. He put his arm around my shoulders as soon as I was on the bed and pulled me in tight. "Are you alright? For real? Why are you refusing painkillers?"

"I don't want to touch any narcotics," He informed me. "It's too soon, too much of a risk. I have too much to lose if I go down that path again."

"But you must be in a lot of pain," I frowned. "Surely a little bit wouldn't be too risky..."

"Anything is risky," He insisted. "Even the tiniest amount will kickstart the cravings and the pain isn't too bad. It's manageable if I don't think about it too much."

"Well we can discuss how I'm still mad at you to take your mind off it," I offered, resting my head on his shoulder. "Because I am still annoyed even if I love you too much to be mean to you when you're in this state."

"Being mad at me is bad for the baby," Spencer lied. "It knows that I'm it's father and wants us to get along."

I rolled my eyes at his false information, but a smile slid onto my face.

"That's so not true," I argued. "It's mad at you too because you're stressing me out."

"I don't think so," Spencer insisted. "I'm the doctor here, I know what I'm talking about."

Despite my general grumpy attitude, I couldn't help the giggle that fell from my lips.

"Shut up," I mumbled, swatting his chest playfully. "You're not that kind of doctor, you can't fool me."

"I read every book available about pregnancy when JJ was pregnant in case anything happened when we were out in the field," He reminded me. "So I know what I'm talking about."

"Of course you do," I rolled my eyes again before stretching up to kiss him softly. "Just try to be careful, please. It scares me so badly getting phone calls that you're in the hospital and seeing you like this, it makes me think of what could happen to you and it terrifies me."

"I know," He frowned, squeezing me close to him again. "I'm sorry. I promise I will be more careful from now on."

"You better be," I sighed. "I love you, Spencer. I can't stand the thought of you being hurt."

"I love you too," He said, kissing the side of my head. "And at least you're stuck with me for the next few months while I can't travel. No more weeks apart for a bit."

"That's true," I hummed. "But I'd still prefer if you didn't get shot."

Spencer chuckled at my comment before reaching over to rub my stomach with his hand that wasn't around my shoulders.

"How're you feeling?" He asked. "I'm sorry for stressing you out. I know you're supposed to avoid that as much as possible."

"I'm fine," I assured him. "Don't know where that panic attack came from though, I haven't had one in a long time. But I'm doing okay, we're doing okay. I haven't had any morning
sickness so far and my energy levels are still up so I can't complain too much."

"You can complain whenever you need to," He assured me. "But I'm glad you're feeling okay."

I smiled and curled into Spencer's side, feeling emotionally drained from everything that happened in the last hour. We stayed like that for the rest of the afternoon, talking and planning and dozing together. His team floated in and out, but I stayed curled up by his side until they discharged him late that evening with strict instructions for him to stay off his leg completely and keep it elevated constantly for at least the next week. He groaned in protest at their rules, but with a stern look from me and a reminder about how bad stress was for me at the moment, he reluctantly agreed to do as he was told and we were sent on our way.