I own none of the characters of Angel
Cordy and I have been sitting outside in my car behind The Hyperion for the past thirty minutes in silence. I was terrified to walk into the hotel as a human. What would my friends say? What would my son say? Connor hated the vampire part of me and now that it was gone would our relationship change for the better or for the worse? If he didn't have the vampire in me to hate anymore would he find another reason to hate me? How would he react to the fact that Cordy and I were going to get married and have babies? I know that he still have feelings for evil Cordy and because he is so young and inexperienced in life he is confused and I blame myself got that.
"You're thinking about Connor aren't you?" Cordy asked me quietly and I nodded. "What's going on Angel?"
"He says that he is okay with our relationship but I was a vampire and he knew because of the curse he knew we could never make love or have children. Now I'm human and we can do those things and he knows it I'm worried that he'll hate me again."
"Connor's grown up a lot in the last few months Angel. I think that instead of being angry and jealous of you he will be happy. Holtz poisoned Connor's mind against the vampire in you and now that the vampire in you is gone it will open a whole other door in your relationship."
"What about everyone else? What will they say?"
"Angel you have been working towards becoming human for over one hundred years. You have earned this gift. You deserve to be human. The people inside that hotel are your best friends, your family. They love you and they will be happy for you."
"My heart; its beating really fast." I still wasn't used to feeling it beat.
"It's because you're nervous." She grabbed my face, pulled it towards hers and she kissed me hard until I was breathless, something else I wasn't used to. "No matter what happens in there just know that you will always have me."
"Right now, that is the only thing I am sure of."
"So are we going to in the car all day or are we going to tell everyone the good news?"
"Let's do it." I opened the car door and stepped out into the bright sunlight. I closed my eyes and lifted my head so I could feel the heat on my skin until Cordy came around the car and took my hand.
"Let's go beefcake." With hands linked we slowly, okay Cordy practically had to drag me to the front door.
All of our friends were sitting in the lobby basking in the glory of destroying The Senior partners when we walked in. It didn't hit them right away that we had come in through front door and I wasn't wearing a jacket.
"Hey." Gunn mumbled.
"Where have you guys been?" Wesley asked.
"When you didn't come right home Spike got tired of waiting so he and Buffy took off and he told us to tell you to bugger off." Fred said with a smile.
"Oh my God." Lorne dropped his sea breeze and stared at me. "Is it true?" He asked and I nodded.
"Is what true?" Connor inquired.
"It's true." I spoke softly.
"Oh my God." Wesley said. It finally just hit him.
"What the hell is going on?" Gunn asked.
"Is Angelus back? Are you Angelus?" Connor said in a panicked tone.
"No son. I'm not Angelus. Angelus will never come back."
"You don't know that."
"I do. He can't come back. Angelus doesn't exist anymore."
"Wow." Fred whispered. She had figured it out.
"Somebody better tell me what is going on right now." Connor demanded.
"I'm human Connor."
"How did it happen Angel?" Wesley asked,
"Is it permanent?" Gunn asked while Connor just stared at me.
"After Wolfram & Hart blew I got this horrible pain through my body and when it finally subsided I had a heartbeat. I didn't believe it; I thought that I was hallucinating but Cordy felt it too. We went to The Oracles and they confirmed that I am in fact a normal human being." I explained.
"You're not quite normal." Cordy added.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Connor asked. I couldn't get a read on his reaction. He wasn't obviously furious but he wasn't obviously happy either.
"The powers wanted me to continue to work for them so they gave me the strength of a slayer so I can continue fighting." I explained
"So you're a vampire slayer now?" Fred asked.
"I am."
"I thought that slayers were woman." Gunn said.
"That's true. Slayers are always woman but Angel is special. He was a vampire with a soul who did good so it makes sense that The Powers That Be would choose Angel to continue the good fight as a slayer." Wesley surmised.
"How do you feel Angelcakes?" Lorne asked
"It's weird. I feel different and the same. I can't get used to the beating in my heart." Fred jumped up and gave me a hug.
"I'm so happy for you." She said.
"So where have you guys been all day?" Connor asked.
"After we saw The Oracles I was starving so we went and got something to eat. I had steak and eggs. It was really good. After breakfast I saw my first sunrise in over two hundred years and then we walked on the beach." I squeezed Cordy's hand as I recalled the other activity that we partook in. something that I wanted to keep private.
"What are you going to do now?" Gunn asked
"I'm going to be a slayer. I was given a wonderful gift to continue to fight the good fight and that's what I'm going to do." I told my friends. "I don't know how to do anything else." I added softly.
"Are you going to change your name?" Fred asked me
"No. I've been Angel for a very long time and I've become accustomed to that name. Since I'm human I want to honor a dear friend who died a hero so I've chosen the last name of Doyle." My friends nodded their approval. "Wes, Cordy told me that you might be able to get me a birth certificate and social security card so I could function in the world as a normal human and do normal human things."
"I have a source. I can get you what you need." Wes told me. "But I'm curious, what human activity do you want to do that requires a birth certificate?"
Cordy and I looked at each other and grinned before I answered them. "I asked Cordy to marry me and she agreed to become my wife." Everyone came over and congratulated us with hugs and words, everyone but Connor who slipped out the back into the garden. Cordy started to follow after him but I reached out and stopped her.
"Let me." She nodded and I followed my son out into the garden. I saw him sitting on the bench staring out in front of him. "This is weird." Connor shot me a sideways glance. "Yep. It's pretty weird that I'm standing outside in the middle of the day and not bursting into flames." I continued and Connor just rolled his eyes. "Can I sit?"
"It's your hotel. I can't stop you from sitting." I sighed and sat down next to him.
"Nice day we're having huh?"
"What do you want dad?"
"So much for the small talk." I mumbled. "Okay fine. I thought that you were okay with me and Cordy's relationship."
"I thought that I was."
"What changed it?" He was silent. "Connor come on, talk to me."
"I think I'm okay with you and Cordy getting married. You two make each other happy. I never did that. It was never me she wanted. It's always been you."
"I'm sorry son. Cordy does love you but not in a romantic way. She loves you like a mother loves a child."
"What I don't get is how can you be all right with me? I slept with the woman you love. I tried to kill you and because of me the world was almost destroyed." My heart ached for my son and all of the guilt he was carrying. I placed my hand on his shoulder.
"What happened last year was not your fault Connor. Cordy was taken over by an evil higher power and that's who you slept with. Now secondly the world was not almost destroyed because of you. It was almost destroyed because of the evil being that took over Cordy's body not you. None of what happened was your fault. That thing just used you as a vessel." Connor stood up and walked away from me but I followed him.
"I'm so tired of being used Dad. Holtz and Justine used my love for him to kill you. That evil thing used me. That first girl I met when I came back used me. Everyone is using me and for what? Was I born just to be used for evil?" He had tears in his eyes as he asked me that question. Placing my hands on his shoulders I turned him around to face me.
"Listen to me Connor. You were born to fight evil."
"Could have fooled me."
"There is a prophecy Connor that said the offspring of the vampire with a soul will rise to manhood and kill Sajohn. When that demon saw that he panicked. He was scared of you Connor and went to great lengths to make sure that you weren't born. My God, he sent cults and demons to kill you and your mother. He made a deal with Wolfram & Hart to give you to them. For someone to want you dead so badly that says to me that you are meant for great things son."
"Why did you let him get me?"
"Given the situation I was in letting Holtz take you was the only option for you to live. Wolfram & Hart spiked my blood with yours and you were starting to smell like food. Wes had uncovered the false prophecy that said that I would kill you so he took you from me and then Justine took you from Wes. I was able to track you down and I was surrounded. Wolfram & Hart wanted to dissect you, Sajohn wanted to kill you and Holtz wanted to raise you as his own. He was holding you and he threatened to break your neck if I tried to take you from him. Given the situation letting Holtz take and raise you was the only option I had for you to live. I figured that I would let Holtz take you and then I would track you down and get you back but he surprised us all by jumping into the portal to Courtahx," I took a deep breath. "I tried so hard to find you Connor. I really did."
"I know you did." He told me softly.
"Do you have anymore questions for me?"
"Why did she do it?"
"She who do what?"
"My mom. Why did she kill herself? Didn't she love me?" I pulled my son to my chest.
"She did love you Connor. She really did." I mumbled.
"Then why?" He asked pulling out of my embrace.
"Because she loved you. Because you are my son you have a soul and while she was pregnant you shared a soul with her. Vampires don't have souls and they can't love but that all changed with the pregnancy. She had a soul and she loved you. She also knew the second you were born and she lost that soul she would no longer be capable of loving you and she wouldn't remember loving you and she would want to kill you. She staked herself to save your life."
"I don't know what I am. Am I human or demon? I don't know where I belong."
"You're my son. That's all that matters. Demon or human it doesn't matter. You are a good man with the potential to become a great man and you belong here with me fighting for those who can't fight for themselves."
"I'm sorry dad. I'm so sorry for trying to kill you, for dumping you into the ocean, for everything. Can you ever forgive me?" I pulled Connor back into my chest and hugged him tightly.
"Already done. It's in the past and that's where it needs to stay. The only thing that matters right now is the future. Today I was given the chance to start my life over again and the most important thing that I want to start over is my relationship with you. Can we start over? I really want the chance to be your dad."
"I would like that." When he pulled away he had tears streaming down his face.
"Can I ask you something?" He nodded. "How would you feel if Cordy and I had a baby or two?"
"A baby?"
"Well I'm human now so I am assuming that I'll be able to have kids and Cordy will be a really great mom."
"Do you want kids?" He asked me.
"When I had you for those first few weeks after you were born I loved being your dad, watching you change and grow on a daily basis was the most amazing experience of my life and I hate that I only got that experience for a few weeks so yeah I want kids but only with Cordy. Do you think that I'll make a good dad?"
"Yeah dad I do."
"Thanks Connor that means a lot." We stood there staring at each for a minute before I spoke again. "One more thing, I would like for you to stand up for me at my wedding."
"What does that mean?"
"When people get married they ask someone that means a lot to them to stand up next to them at the wedding. They refer to that person as the best man or maid or honor. In your case you would be my best man. So what do you say?"
"I'll do it."
"Thank you son."
--
"I love my ring." Cordy said holding her hand above her head and letting the light in our bedroom catch it. After my talk with Connor, Cordy and I went shopping for her engagement ring. She found a simple gold ring with a square cut diamond with two smaller diamonds on either side.
"Really? I had no idea." I smarted. Ever since she got the ring her arm has been up in the air, the ring at eye level. Grinning she rolled over on top of me.
"Do you have any idea how happy you've made me?" She whispered in between pressing kisses to my neck.
"Not nearly as happy as you've made me." I responded as she moved down to kiss my chest.
"No. I'm happier."
"Are we seriously going to argue about who's made who happier?"
"We will argue about this until you concede that I'm right, that you've made me happier then I have made you." She ran her tongue around my nipple, causing me to shiver.
"Fine. You win." I ran my hands over her naked back.
"Keep this up and our marriage will be a huge success."
"A successful marriage means agreeing with everything you say?"
""You've got it." She leaned forward to kiss me but I stopped her. "Angel what's wrong?"
"I have a confession." Her eyes immediately became full of concern.
"Go on." I took a deep breath.
"I'm scared Cordelia."
"Of what?"
"I don't know how to be human and I definitely don't know how to be a husband. I've been a vampire for over two hundred years Cor. It's all I know. What about if I screw things up so royally that you end up hating me." She slowly kissed me.
"Oh Angel. I could never hate you. First of all you know how to be a human. A very long time ago you were human and you've been living among humans for years. Being human is the least of your worries. Now on the husband fear, no one getting married knows how to be a husband or a wife. I have no idea how to be a wife. It's something that we both will have to learn as we go. That's what marriage is all about Angel. We'll learn and grow together. Okay?"
"Thanks Cor."
"Now can we have sex already?" Laughing I placed my hands on her hips and flipped her over on her back.
"I love you Cordelia."
"I love you Angel Doyle." I tenderly pressed my lips to hers and I made love to her until both of our bodies were convulsing in pleasure.
"That freaking rocked." Cordy said breathlessly.
"Did you expect anything less?"
"Of course not." She curled herself into my arms and laid her head over my new heartbeat. "So when do you want to get married?"
"How about tomorrow?" I asked. I didn't want to waste another minute not being married to her.
"Are you kidding me? There is no way that I can pull together a proper wedding by tomorrow."
"A proper wedding?"
"Dress, cake, flowers, shoes."
"Are you going to make me wear a monkey suit?"
"Oh yeah. I remember how hot you looked in your monkey suit at the ballet so hell yeah, you're wearing a monkey suit and I'm wearing a real wedding gown."
"You're going to make a beautiful bride."
"Well… duh." I couldn't help but smile. Confidence was one thing that Cordy didn't lack. "Is there anything special that you want for our wedding or can I plan anything I want?"
"My only request would be that we get married outside in the garden." She thought about that for a minute.
"I love that idea." Cordelia told me with a smile.
"So how long until you can pull off a proper wedding?"
"A couple of months maybe."
"Arghh. I don't know if I can wait that long."
"If you want to marry me you'll wait that long."
"Yes ma'am."
"You're such a quick learner." I leaned down and kissed her softly. "Can I ask you something?" She asked when we broke apart.
"Of course you can."
"When you proposed you mentioned that you wanted babies. Do you really want kids or was that something you said in the heat of the moment?"
"It wasn't a heat of the moment comment I want to have babies with you. Why? Do you not want kids?"
"Oh I want kids. I want a whole houseful of kids running around."
"Have you always wanted kids?" We had never really talked about this before.
"I never really thought about having babies until Connor was born. I really liked being like a mother to him and that made me want my own or ours. I only wanted my own child if you were the father."
"But you knew that I couldn't have kids."
"That didn't matter to me. There is more than one way to have a child Angel. I only wanted to be with you, kids or no kids."
"I don't deserve you."
"No you don't." She told me and then started laughing. "Of course you deserve me and we are going to be very happy together."
"I hope so."
"Don't hope Angel. Being with you is right and perfect. We belong together. We are soul mates. We are destined to be together and those four reasons are why you don't have to hope that we will be happy. Those four reasons guarantee our happiness."
"I love you sweetheart." I whispered softly.
"I love you too Angel."
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