Title: Disadvantaged Children
Rating: M


Chapter Twelve

Penance

I don't know what to expect when I walk into Uchiha Sasuke's room. My heart is racing for some reason and the last few minutes are just a blur of walking. This was it. Everything I had done led to this point, this last meeting with the Uchiha.

I should be relieved. Some part of me is – I was finally going to meet Kiba. But, it doesn't feel right. Under the eyes of the Mansion, I feel nothing except a fatigue that's hard to describe. And something else. Shame.

No more chances for the Uzumaki brat. God knows he deserved it.

Depressing thoughts aside, I should be leaping for joy. But, now, after sharing something with Sai and Jiraiya, I don't want to leave. But it's too late.

The door shuts behind me and I take a deep breath. Frowning, I survey the room in front of me. What the hell had happened here?

The broken furniture, the faint blood streaking the walls, and the musky scent of battle. The air intertwines with something foreign, something sinful. Everything that greets me is so familiar that it scares me.

Without thinking, I back up and stop when my back hits another body. The body behind me reverberates as the person speaks.

"Moron. What are you doing?"

But Sasuke doesn't move, and neither do I. Trembling slightly, I keep surveying the room before me. Sorrow from losing Kiba hits me with an angry rush, but the hard body behind me gives me an entirely different kind of rush. I can smell Sasuke, I can feel every angle of his body curving into mine, and oh shit, notgoodnotgood.

Making a strangled noise, I angrily shove myself away from all physical contact with the bastard. I know it's childish, but all I want to do is pout and sulk. Why the hell did Sasuke have such a lithe body? Was he purposely trying to kill me with all that skin contact?

I silently thank whatever higher power there is that I've hated Sasuke, the teme, for so long. From day one, I had sworn off all friendly thoughts towards him, which made it easier to ignore the pounding in my ears, the stifled heart beats. I couldn't be distracted by stupid things like some attractive bastard, not when said attractive bastard was the reason I had sunk so far in the last week.

I cross my arms in determination, but that doesn't stop Sasuke from pulling me back into his warm embrace. I freeze, even though the heat between us is so damn satisfying. No, Naruto, you do not want to unconsciously push yourself closer to that taut body.

My flush darkens when Sasuke lowers his mouth towards my ear and whispers. "Look at my room."

Why was he doing this? Shoving us closer together?

The answers don't matter, because Sasuke takes the time to let his lips trail tantalizingly behind the shell of my ear. His breaths reach my cold skin like hot touches, hot enough to warm my entire body. I do all that I can to keep from shivering and struggle briefly against his creamy skin.

"Look at it, Naruto." He lightly runs his hands down my arm, stopping when his hands touch my own. "Doesn't it look familiar?"

I continue struggling, occasionally mumbling curses, but stop when I feel a thumb rubbing in circles on the inside of my palm. Surprised by the gentle contact, I quickly glance at Sasuke's face. His clenched jaw and dark eyes tell me that he doesn't enjoy this any more than I do. He doesn't even seem to realize that his fingers are stroking almost tender circles, leaving me in complete bewilderment.

Figuring that the answers to his mysterious behavior have something to do with the room, I shake off the anger at being completely molested and look at the wreckage. It looks so damn familiar, like I've been here, done that... But how is that possible?

I'm so confused that my brain hurts. The coppery scent of blood reaches me, like the walls are trying to scream the answer, but thoughts fade away. Except for one..

What is it?

I frown again and try to control the tremor in my body. No way I'd let that bastard sense the fear that was surging through me, the fear from seeing absolute carnage lurking in the room. What the hell had happened in this room?

Sasuke's throaty whispers interrupt my urge to bash my head against the wall. It's almost frantic, how he's gripping my hand and pushing me closer to him.

"Goddamit, Naruto, doesn't it remind you of anything?"

I manage to shake my head and Sasuke's hair brushes my face as he bows his head in an almost imperceptible sigh. Abruptly, he shoves me off of him and turns away.

"Well? What are you waiting for, idiot? Go clean it up."

Relieved to be free from the unbearable weight, I scowl at him. Dumb prick couldn't even deign to clear the air, even though I just knew he knew what the fuck was going on.

But I have my pride. So I growl and resist the urge to throttle that perfect neck.

..throttle that perfect neck.

I stop, dead in my tracks.

Yeah, I've just been molested and sent through fifty million different sensations from being pressed up to Sasuke's body, but shit. That perfectly harmless sentence becomes an echo in my head, over and over repeating.

Throttle.

Looking around the empty room, I'm attacked by a furious patchwork of images, some blurry, some sharp.

You have to be fucking kidding me.

But then I hear Kyuubi chuckling in the deep recesses of my mind. That night, that terrible night, shoves itself in front of my face, showing me a perfect scene of what went on in this very room.

My fucking God. I tried to murder Uchiha Sasuke. But only after losing control of Kyuubi. Which, in my defense, never would have happened if the Uchiha bastard hadn't expelled Kiba.

I hear a low, choked laughter, and it's only after a few seconds that I realize it's coming from my own throat. It all made perfect sense now. The week-long 'nap..' My sensitivity. The messed up behavior.

And the hatred for the other boy in the room.

I should have known it would only get worse. Sasuke speaks, charcoal eyes standing out in the dark room.

"He was holding you back. I had to expel him."

There are no words, because they die in my throat. I stay still, everything rushing back into that pure rage.

"Do you understand, Naruto? Do I have to spell everything out for you?"

Silence after that patronizing question. I feel like ripping every strand from my hair, just to escape the slipping impact of Uchiha Sasuke's presence. I can't look at him. I can't look at his ghostly body or the striking face with its pearly skin and smug lips.

Instead, I just snarl. "Stop it. Haven't you done enough?"

He shakes his head, and all I want to do is punch him.

"Why do you think an orphan with a spotless record was admitted to the Mansion? Inuzuka Kiba doesn't belong here. He never has."

It's almost like Sasuke has read my thoughts. How did he know that I had wondered the exact same thing about Inuzuka Kiba? I had questioned Kiba's motives, had noticed something odd in the way he spoke so carefully, but I had shoved away all concerns. Because I loved Kiba. Because I didn't want to lose him.

Ever.

"He came for you."

How?

I can tell that Sasuke's enjoying every word that slips out of his tongue. It's like he's been waiting for this moment ever since I've stepped foot in his stupid house. And I'm not about to disappoint. Every muscle in my body screams to shut him up with a punch, or to break the bones in his arrogant, twisted face.

There's something in Sasuke's face that scares me. Hunger. Greed for my anger.

"After months of searching, he found out about your stay in the Mansion. Imagine his surprise when he learned that the Mansion was the one place that he couldn't get in. Do you get it, Naruto? For him, this meant the last chance to spend time with his best friend, the same best friend who had left for the States after a day of fire and murder."

I shake my head vigorously, almost fighting the words away, but Sasuke licks his lips, eyes taking in every reaction.

"Kiba and I struck a deal. He would stay until you screwed up. And, like any worthless idiot, you did."

Sasuke looks straight at me, and my heart races with an unexplainable tremor. Why did he always unsettle me? Why couldn't I shake off this feeling, this drowning, sinking feeling. Was I everywhere with him, with this complete mystery?

"Kiba was expelled because of you."

Time makes its merciful escape, leaving me to face the Uchiha. I'm not breathing.

It would be so easy to succumb to my rage and lay punches to wipe Sasuke's smirk off his taunting face. He's waiting for it, I can tell. And the minute I start, I won't be able to stop.

He's waiting for the excuse to expel me. Because, for some reason, he didn't the last time I laid a hand on him. That's all he wants from me. He wants me to break.

But there's something I'm missing. In this same room, on a different night, Kyuubi had wrecked chaos. Sorrow had been felt, and I had been lost, searching for something to live for. But before I had fallen, there had been a whisper, the gentle touch.

I'm sorry. Eyes like mine. A warm body.

Did I remember now? Like hell I remembered. And I wish I didn't, because now the anger's faded into something like irritation. I could hate, but not right now. Right now, I wanted answers.

I can't hold back from blurting out.

"You carried me back to my room, didn't you?"

Surprise flits across Sasuke's handsome face, before scorn reaches it. "What are you talking about? I wouldn't touch your disgusting body if someone paid me to."

I'm not hurt by his words, because I haven't forgotten the way he shoved my body towards his or the absentminded fingers that traced a pattern on my hands. Things were starting to add up, like stars in the sky.

The boy inside me is trying not to grin triumphantly. Sasuke, on the other hand, is still eyeing me like a ticking bomb, trying to figure out when I'll blow it. And that's when I give up and unleash a blinding, lopsided grin.

"You really get off on acting like the complete bastard, don't you, Sasuke-kun? I heard Kakashi-san when you came to visit me when I was sleeping. He said-"

"I know what he said."

"-that you carried me." I pause, eyes glittering with a solemn knowledge. "You know exactly what you're doing, huh? You're being a complete asshole right now to make up for showing that you actually cared about me on that night."

Sasuke glowers at me. "Stop psycho-analyzing me, dobe. Didn't you hear a word I just said? Your fight with Orochimaru broke the deal I had with Kiba. You caused-"

I wave away his words, as well as the sorrow pricking inside of me. My grin hurts, because it's hard fighting the grief with a light heart. But that's what I have to do, in order to escape the Uchiha's attempt to cause pain.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm wallowing in despair. But I've figured you out, you heartless bastard."

Sasuke raises an eyebrow, and for the first time I realize that he's a teenager too. And teenagers were known for one thing.

"Really? Do tell, idiot."

Curiosity.

I crack my knuckles, almost bursting out laughing as Sasuke takes an almost imperceptible step backwards. Oh I'd beat him up, all right. But that would be for another day.

My teeth glint in the light as I open my mouth as wide as I can and take in as much air as I can. Oh boy, I'd need it.

"What the hell-"

"FIRST OF ALL, YOU TEME, YOU DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT THE NIGHT I ALMOST KILLED YOU, EVEN THOUGH THAT'S ENOUGH TO EXPEL AND SEND ME TO THE ISLAND, HEH? HEH? AM I RIGHT?"

"Do you have to be so loud?"

"THEN YOU STAGE A CONVERSATION WITH KAKASHI DURING MY ONE WEEK NAP, WHICH I THOUGHT WAS REALLY WEIRD SINCE ONLY PEOPLE WHO GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME VISITED ME DURING THAT TIME, BUT THEN I FIGURED OUT THAT THE CONVERSATION WAS SUPPOSED TO CALM MY FUCKING FEARS ABOUT KIBA! WELL FAT LOAD THAT DID, CONSIDERING THAT YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE WHO DIDN'T DO ONE THING TO STOP KIBA'S LEAVING."

Sasuke frowns and rubs his ear with one hand.

I ignore him and point at him, with a soft accusing tone. The loudmouth is gone, and in his place, a boy who just wants to know what the hell's going on.

"And finally, you don't do a single damn thing when I start acting up. It's almost like you were giving me second, third, fourth chances."

Sasuke sneers, but a flicker wavers through his face. "I'm surprised you can even walk straight with that huge ego of yours. I have a life outside of you, Uzumaki."

Looking back on it, I can't believe that I was stupid enough to disregard the sheer number of times I'd escaped expulsion. There had been something so weird about being ignored – at first I had thought Kakashi and Iruka had persuaded Sasuke to go easy on me, but now it seems unlikely. It was Sasuke, himself...

He slowly walks toward me, like a cat prowling towards its prey, so I inch back. The smooth voice is low and seems to be doing the same thing that he's doing. Trapping me in.

"Your small, pathetic life isn't worth a second glance, so don't tell me what my ulterior motives were."

I almost stumble from a chair, but I quickly stand back up. "B-but I know Kakashi talked to you the day I vandalized all those rooms. You must have had some clue about all the shit I was pulling."

"No, I didn't."

I scowl.

The pale boy in front of me was lying through his teeth. And if he was lying now, what else could he be lying about? My heart clenching, I can't squash the hope fluttering weakly in my chest. Could he be lying about Kiba's fate in the Island?

I realize that Sasuke's been staring at me through his raven hair, and I promptly continue, trying to rummage through my thoughts and produce some reason.

"I thought it was a little weird that Jiraiya led me back to my room after he carried me home from the forest, even though I've never told him my room number. And then Jiraiya was the person who told me you wanted to see me. Why not Kakashi? Jiraiya's involvement means one of two things. One, you and Jiraiya have been talking about me. And two, you knew he was the last person I'd seen."

I keep my gaze down, trying to hide the complete bluff forming on my lips. "Which makes it all the more possible that you were the one to order Jiraiya to fetch me from the forest. And if you've done that, then isn't it possible that you were also the person who gave me so many chances to redeem myself?"

Silence meets me. No sneers, no insults. Huh. Pissing off Sasuke must be one tough hobby. When the silence reaches its limit, I look up with a bright smile.

"Admit it, Sasuke-kun. You're like the evil villain holding all the puppet's strings. Only, in this case, you're the guy behind the scenes, trying to hide under sarcastic insults. You're just mad because you actually care about m-"

SLAM

My back screams from pain as it bangs into the wall. I'm twitching but Sasuke's body is pushed up against me, God why does that feel so good, and I can't see his face because he's breathing into my neck, which shouldn't cause my stomach to tighten but does and, Jesus Christ, I'm squirming and possibly yelling rape, even though all I feel is hot, hot heat.

I'm so helpless right now, and there's a nail head jutting out from the wall that's digging into my back, but it doesn't matter because something is kneading my crotch, causing me to moan into Sasuke's shirt.

"Very good, Uzumaki."

For a second, I think he's talking about the moan, until he continues whispering into my ear, which is doing wonderful, wonderful things to my libido.

"Didn't think you'd be able to catch all the signs."

His hands brush across my hips, while the vibrations from his lips send tingles all across my body, from the tip of my hair to the toes on my feet. My harried breaths mix with his own and we're so close, his lips are so close..

"But you're forgetting something."

I close my eyes, trying to shut out the perfect picture of Sasuke shoved against me, our bodies aligning perfectly, and his stunning eyes sweeping through every feature on my face. Lips parted, blonde hair mingling with raven hair, perfection.

"I don't care about anyone."

And the goosebumps are gone when he pushes himself off me. The heat leaves too, and I listen with my entire body to the sense that there had been something so close, right in front of me.

Hiding a sigh, I carefully open one eye. Sasuke ignores me, grabbing something off a table. He's acting so calmly, like the last few minutes hadn't happened, that I'm starting to wonder if I ever felt him at all. Questions fling at me; why was I always so weak when it came to Uchiha Sasuke?

I rub my arms, then watch the pale-skinned boy walk towards the door. I'm left wondering where he's going, until he turns around and scowls.

"Stop staring, Uzumaki. Come on, let's go."


I'm free.

Or at least, as free as I can be stuck in a car with a frigid bastard who hasn't answered any of my questions with anything other than monosyllabic words.

"Where are we going?"

"Hn."

"I hate you, you know that, right?"

"Yes."

"My God, you're going to kill me! That's why we've been in this stupid car for over an hour. You're going to chop my body into strips of flesh with a rusty ax, dump me over some bridge, and then dare to go home and eat bloody steaks for the rest of the day. Right, right?"

"No."

"Does your hair do that on its own? Because that would be so homose-"

"Shut up."

Success! Two syllables!

I kick back my legs on top of the seat in front of me, which causes Sasuke to swivel in his seat and glare at me. I just look out the window, watching the scenery shift from colors of green to colors of gray. The farther we get from the Mansion, the poorer the surroundings become. I've forgotten that I've been living in the middle of nowhere for the past month.

We stop on a dirt-ridden path with sickly yellow grass tainting the ground. Sasuke parks the car and climbs out, while I just stare at the rural area we've come to. The BMW I'm in seems completely out of place in this little village, with naked kids running around without any shoes on.

The door beside me opens and Sasuke notices the glassy look in my eyes.

"Do you believe in God?"

What was the correct answer for a question like that? And why was Sasuke bringing that up now? That's when I realize that we've stopped right in front of a beautiful church, one that looks like it emits sparkles just to taunt the inhabitants of this shoddy place. And right in the front of the church is a small sign, worn down from the years.

Donated by Uchiha Sasuke and the residents of Uchiha Mansion

I shake my head heavily, unable to stand Sasuke's probing gaze. Did he really expect me to go along with this? I had lost hope so long ago. I couldn't live life depending on the broken wings of faith.

The words slip out before I can stop them. "There is no God."

Unsettling, intense eyes trap me. Why? Why did I feel this way for someone I barely knew?

I shiver when Sasuke suddenly turns toward the church and smiles. His face lacks the normal tension and there's something almost unearthly in the way he moves, something pure, something untouchable.

"We're so alike, Naruto."

I realize this is the first time he's said my name, my first name, without any insults or biting sarcasm. Still, that shouldn't be an excuse for the prickling sensation running down my spine or the pink coloring my cheeks.

He continues. "We both live to survive. And we both survive for precious reasons."

I stiffen with surprise, because it's impossible. He's said it so perfectly.

Where did the asshole within you go, teme?

Sasuke doesn't stay to hear my response. He walks ahead and I quietly trail behind him. When we get to the entrance, Sasuke, Sasuke with the burning touch and the perfect words, opens the door and walks in. I follow him, closing my eyes to brace myself for the curious looks from the church-goers. But there's no one except for me and Sasuke.

The church is small, but still manages to whisper traces of magnificence. The pews face forward with a grave certainty, while the sun hits the windows. Lights stream and colors shift in this sanctuary. There's something about this church that I don't understand, something I never would. Maybe it was the way Sasuke fit in so perfectly, his body melting into the shadows hidden inside the gleaming glass-tinted windows.

Or maybe it was the silence that escaped me. I can't hear a sound.

"Follow me."

It's startling to hear Sasuke echo as a chorus of a million fading voices. We walk and I keep staring at the unfamiliar scenery. The open space comforts me in a weird way. I want to sit and never get up, just sit and drink in the solemn empty hall and the feeling of company.

But I can't, so I just walk past the bowing pews, while the long aisle makes room for both Sasuke and me.

And then I look up and see where we're headed.

Everything disappears when my eyes meet pain from belief's eyes. I look away quickly, unable to face what Sasuke, beside me, is easily gazing at. I try to crack a joke, but words die on my lips, shriveling in the prevailing gravity.

Sasuke seems to sense my discomfort because he shakes his hand and slowly walks towards the very front, where a small cross adorns the podium. My breath catches when he casually gets on his knees. The humble look on his face along with the lack of embarrassment in his movements reminds me that Uchiha Sasuke is just a boy. The curiosity itches, chipping away all the defenses in my heart.

Who was he? Did he believe in God? Why was he so shamelessly perfect?

I don't know which sight is more painful for me. Jesus dying on the cross, a symbol that mocked everything I stood for, or a young boy kneeling at the foot of God..

Do I know you, Uchiha Sasuke? Or have I simply forgotten who I used to be?

Aware of the watchful gaze of angels and power, I suddenly blurt out.

"I'm sorry."

Sasuke doesn't look at me. Instead, he slowly raises his arm and lightly touches the cross in front of him.

"For what?"

I continue, voice echoing, unable to tear my gaze from the same hands that scorched me with their gentle touch. "For what happened the night Kiba left."

He turns his head to gaze at me and I swallow. Damn Sasuke and his stupid, perfect face.

"Was it you?"

I frown. "What are you talking about? Of course it was me. When I'm pissed, shit like that just happens."

Sasuke shakes his head, ebony tresses falling in his face. "No. I mean, was it you who stopped every possible injury to my face? Was that your doing or the beast inside of you?"

I almost stumble from the shock. He knew? About Kyuubi? How-

"Don't worry." Sasuke's voice cajoles, mingling with the sheer piety of the church. He looks up, eyes locked on the figure nailed to the cross. "Someone once told me that churches are the best place for secrets. I'll keep yours safe. I promise."

I can feel the shield cracking, all of my hatred dissolving.

"It was me." Swallowing, I shove my hands into my pockets and mumble. "I didn't want Kyuubi to ruin your face. It would leave marks. People would talk."

Sasuke looks smug as he runs a hand through his hair. Ironic considering that he's still on his knees.

"Sure."

I grumble, well aware of my lie. "Bastard."

He ignores me as he bows his head, the picture of piety. A huge silence follows and I start fidgeting. Should I leave? It's only when I start whistling awkwardly that Sasuke lazily opens one eye.

"Dobe."

And before I know it, I'm pulled down to the ground with the aftertaste of Sasuke's brief touch. Our bodies are so close together that I can almost imagine God frowning down at us in disappointment.

I snicker at the idle thought, then stop when Sasuke glares at me and grits his teeth.

"Are you ever serious, idiot?"

I shrug then wince as my knees start trembling from being in such an awkward position. "Sasukeee, my knees hurt."

Sasuke sighs. "Just stay silent, ok. Can you do that?"

I roll my eyes, but do what he says.

We're tiny in this vast hall, windows on all side of us. It's peaceful, because silence fits well in a church. Normally, the church people would kick me out after taking one look at my dirty street clothes. But it's different here. This time, I'm with Sasuke.

I close my eyes, listening to the Uchiha's even breaths. He suddenly speaks and I open my eyes to see him gazing at the cross.

"I come here because I need to. This is a reminder of my past and the past is the reason that I live today."

I frown, finally deciding to ask the question that's been lodged in my brain. "Why did you bring me here?"

"Because I wanted to."

I can't stop the smile. "Really?"

He must be unused to the hope in my voice, because he laughs quietly. "Yeah."

It's different. Everything is. The tightening in my chest, the peace swirling around the church, and two little boys kneeling in the face of God. It's different. But for the first time in years, I'm not scared.

"You'll be okay, won't you, Naruto-kun?"

Yeah. I think I will.


He makes me crazy.

When I'm with him, I forget the true reasons that I live. If it weren't for the fact that this Mansion means everything to me, I would have expelled Uzumaki Naruto a long time ago.

I'll heal him, but I won't lose myself in the process. I can't forget what's important. I'll never forget.

After all, isn't that what you wanted... Brother?

-Sasuke


AN: YES, I PURPOSELY PUT SASUKE'S LITTLE SIDE NOTE AFTER SAI'S FROM THE LAST CHAPTER! AND YES, I PURPOSELY MADE BOTH OF THEM MENTION THEIR "BROTHER." It is important, yyah. In the end, Sasuke and Sai's paths will dramatically diverge because of the different feelings they have for their brothers.

And we finally have Naruto completely snapped out of his post-Kibamortem depression. Thank the lawd. This chapter should answer most of the questions about why Naruto escaped expulsion so many times.

Read and review! Thank you! :)

P.S. I totally have a new story up – I have no idea if I'll continue but it would be great if anyyyone could give feedback. :( Might save me an agonizing death from shame, ya know.