Title: Disadvantaged Children
Rating: M
AN: Sorry for the wait! But this week should be full of updates. :)
Chapter Thirteen
Gentle
"You're like me."
"Yeah, so?"
"Don't jump."
"Why?"
"Once you love, once you feel… Then I'll let you."
"And…"
"I'll jump with you."
At first, it was difficult.
The middle of October saw me coping as desperately as I could. I took on more slave work in the kitchen to make up for the points that I had lost and also worked on the relationships I had broken during those seven days of hell. Like all things, my friendships gradually got better with each day.
Of course, I still felt guilty whenever I caught a glimpse of that fading bruise on Sai's arm or whenever Sakura jumped at the sound of my voice.. But I wouldn't solve anything by feeling sorry for myself. So I grinned more, tried more, laughed more..
And things would be perfect if it weren't for that damn Sasuke..
For him, it was like the day at the church had never happened. He rarely talked, always sneered, and made me want to bash his head in. Some days, his insults were so brutal that I wanted to just leave the Mansion, maybe giving him a good kick on the way out.
But I owed him. So I tolerated his insensitive behavior without lashing out. My only reward was the occasional smile that seemed to unconsciously slip from the corner of his lips.
Sometimes, I didn't know what to make of him. I'd rather shoot myself in the foot than admit it out loud, but it'd be pointless to deny the obvious to myself. Uchiha Sasuke is fucking attractive. He wears that shell of perfection like it's his God-given right. And some days, he'll remind me of everything. Everything.
But his good points don't matter, not at times when his harsh words become another reflection of the ugliness inside of him. There's nothing handsome about the chiseled face whenever a cruel sneer or glare is directed my way. And the same body that has me squirming is also the same body that I'll beat up with no hesitation.
With all the feelings whirling inside of me, I'd find myself waking up in the middle of the night, mumbling obscure names of the past. During that moment of weak darkness, the loneliness would pervade, striking at everything that I had ever worked for. During those nights, I thought I'd die with nothing but Kiba's name on my lips.
But that's when I'd hear Sai painting. It kept me going. That comforting sound of brush hitting paper and the shuffling of his movements... I don't know if he knew how many nights I spent staring at the ceiling, listening to him paint, but it helped me. If a zombie could paint, then couldn't the dead be brought back to life? I don't know why or how, but somehow, I knew that Kiba was alive, grinning and waiting, impatiently, for me to recover.
Of course, I still missed him. I missed him the most when I was faced alone with people who still looked at me suspiciously. I missed him when it was morning and I had to walk alone to breakfast. Small things. Stupid things.
I sigh and Kakashi swerves his head towards me. "Problem, Naruto?"
"Just bored as hell." I wave my hands absentmindedly then shrug.
Sakura, besides me, laughs, uneasily. "Kakashi-sensei, don't mind Naruto. He has ADD."
"And you have MPD." Sai's bored voice interjects.
Before Sakura can start fuming, Kakashi rolls his eyes, probably wondering why he had gotten stuck with the worst team. While we didn't have the least amount of points, (without Kiba, Team 8 had lost a majority of its points) our bickering still annoyed Kakashi and our teachers.
I snicker, which causes Kakashi to focus his gaze back on me. I stick my tongue out at him, which leads to my counselor banging his head on his desk. His muffled voice causes all of us to strain to hear him.
"Three things."
Sakura leans forward. "What?"
Kakashi looks up with a glare. "Three things. Just give me three things you like about each other."
There's a colossal silence until Sai grunts.
"There's nothing. Naruto is loud and rude, while Sakura is self-centered and obnoxious about her intellect."
Kakashi smiles, eye twitching. "Well, Sai, thank you for contributing first. And Sakura?"
Sakura frowns, chewing over her words in her head. "Sai has no soul, likes to hurt other people, and would betray his team in a heartbeat. Naruto, on the other hand, pretends that he's a hardened criminal, when he's really not. He also doesn't have many thoughts about team work, because he's not used to being in a group."
Kakashi beams then looks towards me. I sigh then rub my face with my hands.
"Since those were all insults, I guess I'll say nice things. Sakura actually has a heart when she's not stressing over boys or her hair. She's also pretty smart. Sai.."
I think for a second then continue. "Sai has a soul."
Sakura, besides me, gapes and opens her mouth, but I interrupt her.
"Okay, so he acts like a complete dickwad in order to hide it and he needs a wardrobe change. But... he helped me." I smile as I remember how much Sai and I had fought to bury the weaknesses storming within us. "I think he's just like everyone else in the Mansion. Just a little.."
Kakashi raises an eyebrow and sarcastically finishes my sentence. "Disadvantaged?"
I shrug. "Whatever works.."
He chokes back a snicker then lazily leans back in his chair. In a flash, he's whipped out an orange book, which seems to capture his interest more than three teenagers staring at him in bewilderment. "Good enough. Twenty points, Naruto. Now get out of my sight, you ruffians."
The door slams twice as my ecstatic teammates nearly trample each other to escape any more interaction. I stretch then prepare to follow them, before I'm stopped by a cheerful, but careful voice.
"Welcome back, Naruto."
There's nothing to say to that so I just grin, give my counselor a two-fingered salute, then walk out of the room.
"Oi, Naruto! You're back!"
I snicker as Chouji trips over his mop in his hurry to reach me. Shikamaru and Ino follow suit, although they're both a little more hesitant than their teammate. I don't know what's going on behind Shikamaru's mind, but I have a good idea.
Was I going to snap again? Was I a danger to his friends?
The most important thing I had gathered from Shikamaru, besides his startling intellect and contrasting laziness, was his loyalty. It was easy to observe the small things like his saving a bag of chips for Chouji every day or watching out for Ino whenever she got hit on by creepy guys. His friends meant a lot to him. I respected that.
My attention focuses back to Chouji when he and I slap a high-five. It's odd to see the concern on his face, so I just grin and sheepishly rub the back of my head.
"Eh, Chouji.. When are we on for some ramen? I haven't had some in ages!"
His grin is almost as large as mine, but it's countered by a look of gravity on Ino's face. I sigh inwardly. What would it take to reassure them that I would be ok?
Maybe when you start acting like it.
Good idea. I finish my ramen conversation with Chouji then snatch a mop and water bucket. Without a second thought, I shake my mop at my teammates, who have just staggered in.
"Hey, Team Naruto! It's time we shape up and deliver! I want these floors squeaky clean by the next bell. And Sai, get your lazy, half-clothed ass back in here!"
Sai doesn't even have the nerve to look guilty as he casually steps back into the room. He calmly catches the mop I throw at him. "Nice team name, dickless."
I growl in warning under my breath as I throw another mop to Sakura, who catches it with a small squeak. "Shut up, teme. It's bad enough that we have kitchen duty again! If I have to hear comments about my dick for an hour and half, I'll throw this mop in your face."
Sai chuckles. "Girls can't throw."
Sakura's mop glides over to us, the beginnings of the common twitch in her clear eyes. "Are you making an insulting comment about girls again, Sai?"
I have a feeling that Sai's about to insult me to another person, so I twirl my mop with relish, trying to scare him, but it doesn't work.
"No, I was just talking about Naruto."
"Oh, well that's okay then." A glint shines in Sakura's grin before she grabs her bucket and walks off to Ino.
My face falls before I shake my head and sigh. It was hopeless. Respect from my teammates would never happen. In fact, having Sai and Sakura team up against me was a pretty regular thing. Not that I blamed them.
It wasn't a surprise to anyone that my grief from losing Kiba had overtaken my life for those desperate two weeks. With an emotion that seemed suspiciously like concern, my two contrasting teammates had done everything they could to get me back. While I was blinded by my struggle against muddy and thick waters, they had accompanied me to every breakfast, lunch, and dinner, dropped me off at every class, and made sure I breathed correctly.
It was an unspoken thing between the three of us. Even now, a week after, Sai still hesitated to insult my friendship with Kiba while Sakura visibly kept herself from scolding me about all the class work I had missed out on. My gratefulness for the pair had increased even further when, one day, I walked past the points chart to see Team 7 with an astonishing number of points.
I had no idea how they had done it, but Sakura and Sai had accumulated enough points to not only cover the points I had lost, but to also keep it a secret. The two most irritating people in my life hadn't gloated or rubbed my face in all the shit I had done.
I had been so shocked that I had actually fallen flat on my face, right in front of everyone in the lounge. Of course Sai had taken the time to walk past and make a snide comment about how it was about time I noticed two inches wasn't the average size for dicks. After that, things turned to normal pretty quickly.
I churn the mop into my water bucket with violent actions, replacing the straggly, white cloth of the mop with an image of Sai's head. As if my roommate had any idea about my phallus. Jerk.
"Thinking about me?"
I swivel around to glare at Sai. Now that he's closer, I can see the shadows creeping under his eyes. Each blink that he takes is slow and languid, like fatigue is dragging him down. His pale skin looks grayer than usual while the unmistakable odor of paint and sweat wafts to my nose.
"You smell." I soften my insult by pushing him gently. "Even soulless zombies need to take a bath once in a while."
Funny. I could have sworn that something other than that creamy white had graced Sai's face. I take a step closer, almost bumping noses with Sai, and then squint. Hard. His eyes widen almost imperceptibly before he shuts off and becomes an unemotional rock.
But I had seen it. The great Sai had pinkened like a great, big bathtub of roses. Ha. Take that.
With a cocky grin, I slowly wipe my hands and poke Sai. "You know, I'm getting to you."
He looks at me in annoyance. "What are you talking about?"
I drop my voice to a whisper, lips ghosting over Sai's ear. "Who would have thought that a dickless idiot like me.."
Sai's grumbling, but the smudge of pink on his cheeks is slowly but surely darkening into a defiant flush.
"..COULD GET YOU TO BLUSH LIKE THAT!"
Sai immediately claps a hand over the ear that I've screamed into and scowls at me. "I hate you."
I beam, sunshine spouting from my proud grin. "I know." It feels good to laugh for once, without the bitter taste of regret.
Though I can feel your absence, maybe I'll survive. Can you wait for me.. Kiba?
Ino's wailing stamps all over the peaceful silence that's been in the air for a while. Everyone looks up from the floor with a collective sigh as Ino continues screeching about cockroaches. The floor's almost clean, which is reason enough to take a break. I silently creep to the silver, gleaming fridge that's smack in the middle of the kitchen and snatch a cool drink. The others, after seeing me suck down the Coke, follow suit and it's not long before we're spread out on the very floor, beverages in our hands.
"Why do you think they make us do so much kitchen work? It's hard work! I'd rather be eating..." Chouji's dramatic frown is coupled with a few fake tears, and I pat him on the back.
Shikamaru grunts as he lays out on the floor, ignoring the disgusted looks of the females in the room. "Ne... This probably has to do with the Second Event."
I scratch my head. "Ya think?"
Shikamaru throws a brief smile my way. "It makes sense. I don't see any other reason that they're shoving two teams into one room. We're probably supposed to be making the effort to know each other."
"Like ice breakers?" Sakura snorts before snapping her fingers at me. "Naruto, we have to win the next Event. We're second only to this completely unmotivated team. Seriously, Ino! How did you get so many points?"
Ino bats her eyelashes. "Well, with Uchiha Sasuke as motivation, how could I have not gotten all those points."
"Girls and their superficial feelings.. So troublesome." Shikamaru rolls his eyes before shaking his head.
"Oh yeah?! Well, all you do is sleep and run off to some special class."
"You didn't complain when we got points from the very same special class, Ino. Then again, anything that furthers your devotion to the Uchiha would hardly need any complaining."
I laugh along with everyone else, although my shoulders have tensed from hearing Sasuke's name in casual conversation. So many girls were in love with him.. No wonder his ego was so inflated. He'd probably gotten with every girl that fell at his feet, being an attractive bastard with money under his hands.
It would explain how he was so skilled at making me feel that crowded heat. Damn, I hated him.
The bell rings and we immediately stand up to put everything away. There's casual conversation among everyone and we're helping each other rinse the buckets and sponge down the floor. Even Sai is contributing to the effort, even though he would normally be the person to mold into the shadows and watch. Could a month in the Mansion change someone? Was change even possible?
A wet rag hits me straight in the face and I spit out the dull taste of cloth. With a glare, I look up, only to see Sai waiting by the door, chipped mask and all.
"Well?" His scowl is only heightened by that faint healthy tinge that only embarrassment could produce. "I'm not going to wait around forever."
I laugh and walk towards the door, briefly touching shoulders with my roommate. "Thank you."
I catch a glimpse of his confused face before he just shakes his head.
"Whatever works, idiot."
At the end of the week, I wake up to find myself staring into a million pairs of green, brown, blue, and black eyes. The variety of all the absorbing colors makes my face itch, which is, thankfully, more distracting than the urge to jump in surprise and scream like a girl. With a lingering drowsiness, I blearily rub my eyes, which causes the ten other pair of eyes to water.
"Anything you guys need?" I mumble into my pillow, trying to draw the covers to my naked chest. Apparently, no one knew the definition of privacy anymore.
Before I can get up, someone grabs my wrist with a death grip and actually drags me off my comfortable bed. I'm not even spared the luxury of yawning or cursing the very name of the person who's rudely shoving a pair of pants into my hands.
"Narutoooo! Get up! Don't you know what day it is?!" Sakura's grip on my wrist doesn't falter and neither does the tone of her high squeal. I just stare at her in shock, wondering what the hell she and all the orphans are doing in my room before noon.
The sea of people shoving me to the door could actually kill me with their stampeding if I don't watch my step. Thankfully, or not, Sakura is tracing a path in front of her and I bump into Chouji, who's grinning widely, Sai, who's snickering, and Shikamaru, who has the decency to look like he's not enjoying himself.
What the hell was up with the people here and their conspiracies? Was I just automatically denied access to meetings? Good God.
My pants have miraculously found their proper place, but I shiver as the door opens on my bare chest. God damn it, where the hell were these people taking me? Sleep still clings to me, even though the chattering of voices attack me on the way out of my room. I squeak before trying to scramble back to the room.
"God, no, dammit, shirt! I need a shirt!"
But no one listens to me and I'm shoved out the door with nothing but a pair of pants. Rock Lee shoves a spandex suit towards me, which I blanch at and refuse. Bodies keep hustling me, leaving me no room to think.
"Aw, look at him. He doesn't even know what's happening."
"You know, I prefer this shocked Naruto to the loud one."
"For once, Shino, I agree."
I bare my teeth at the last comment, but can't see with all the people trying to steer me in the right direction. I finally just give up and wilt.
Screwed. That's what I was.
I just stare sullenly at Sakura's bobbing pink hair, wondering where I'm going and if shirts exist in said unknown location. Some of the people accompanying me trail away until it's just a handful of bystanders. Of all the days for the Mansion to be freezing and it had to be today. Looking down at my bare chest, I frown at my nipples. Ah shit. Hopefully, no one would notic-
"Naruto, we're here!"
Here being the cafeteria. The cafeteria. Wait, no, let's backtrack. The cafeteria. What. The. Hell.
I focus all the evil in my soul to one single glare. "You dragged me out of bed so we could fucking eat breakfast together?"
Someone very stupidly interjects. "Technically, it would be lunch, since you slept past breakfa-"
The boy squeaks as I crank my stare to his face.
"Finish that. See what happens."
Sakura sighs and claps her hands in front of my face, bringing my attention back to her. "Beyond these doors, Naruto, is something that we've been planning for awhile. Now, don't ask how we figured out everything, but ever since Kiba.. left, we wanted to do something special for you."
Her smile is warm and soft, even as her face grows serious. "I can't imagine how hard if must have been for you to lose someone precious to you, but you got over it. You're much, much stronger than I am, that's for sure."
She winks at my dumbfounded expression. Only one thought seems to get through to my slow brain. This place is practically infested with schemes.
With one last brief smile, Sakura quickly opens the door to the cafeteria and shoves me in. I cross my arms and glare at the door before facing forward.
Balloons. A ten-story cake. People. Lots of people.
Was that a clown?
I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped open, which should have made for a pretty attractive sight. If my bare chest were human, it would have screamed bloody murder and ran away a very long time ago. But it's not, so my face just takes the liberty to redden with a fiery passion.
Iruka steps forward from the mass of people who are taking in my rather disheveled appearance. I'm grateful for the way he's blatantly ignoring my outerwear (or more like lack of it.) I blink as he hands me a fucking huge card with lace and flowers all over it.
"Happy birthday, Naruto."
There's a tinge of regret hiding behind Iruka's eyes. There's so much said in those simple words and for a second, I feel like breaking again. But Iruka's steady gaze grounds me with its gentle warmth... And that's when I know that I've been forgiven.
Why? Do I really mean that much to you?
I focus back on the crowd of people gathered before me, their smiling faces exuding a joy at seeing my reaction. There's Kakashi who's smiling at me, even though I can see his hands itching to grab the orange-covered book hidden in his pocket. There's Ino, Shikamaru, Shino, Chouji, Rock Lee, Tenten, Hinata, and everyone else in Team Gai. There's Jiraiya, with a scowl on his face, like he's not used to birthday bashes. There are other people I've never met before, there are the cooks, there's the Mansion...
Without knowing why, I keep searching the crowd, searching each familiar face for one that'll make sense.
There.
Sasuke's leaning against the wall, his eyes raking the tip of my fuzzy hair all the way down to my bare feet. His white, button down shirt contrasts with the silky hair falling over his face, just like his lean body contrasts with the throng of people around him. I don't know why he's here, but I can't pull away from the gaze. It's scorching to be under that intensity, like he's trying to fall and read my mind, read everything that I've ever kept from the world.
For the slightest of seconds, I want to fall with him, to touch hands with him, to pull him out of the loneliness.
Instead, I make a face. His eyes darken for a second before he looks away and starts a conversation with a girl drooling over him. With some effort, I drag my eyes away from him and stare in awe at the cafeteria and the amount of care that I'm receiving.
I'm bursting with the effort to contain myself, to keep all the energy inside of me. Someone gently pushes me in the direction of tables and the cake is being distributed, as well as presents. I look serenely at the seats that are slowly being taken up, knowing that somewhere, someone else is grinning the same smile as me.
Don't worry, Kiba. I'll always save a spot for you.
I was so frightened the first day Naruto woke up. We were all crowded around him, trying futilely to empathize with him, until he kicked us out. I thought we'd lost him the day the Mansion lost Kiba.
But he got better. I couldn't believe it. For the first time, I realized that happiness didn't always have to center on myself. I was happy because Naruto Uzumaki was happy.
Naruto.. For once, I've shoved away my own concerns and focused on you. But I think you'll realize that I'm not the only one in the Mansion who will take the time to care.
-Sakura
AN: Yes! Another chapter done. And it is currently.. 4 in the morning! -grins- I sleep during the day, don't worry. This chapter was boringgg but necessary – don't forget about the points and the Second Event! These are all very important in the whole scheme of things.
For all of you wonderful reviewers who love to point out the abundance of conspiracies in this story, I apologize for stealing your lines and implanting them in Naruto's brain. Hats off to you guys. (and everyone else in the audience, kduh.)
Thank you for reading! I love feedback as it inspires me to write. :)
