Title: Disadvantaged Children
Rating: M


Chapter Fifteen

Forgotten

When I awake, everything feels sticky and I can't seem to move. The sterilized air makes me gag while the fan above me plays tricks with my mind, twirling and whirling, so dizzy. A chill runs through my spine and I half-heartedly reach out with my hands, until I touch thin blankets and a rough mattress.

In a flash, I sit up and inspect the bandages that are littering my whole body. My ribs ache whenever I move and I have scrapes all over my arm. Even though pain stings my upper half, I don't feel any internal pain. Breathing a sigh of relief, I run a hand through my hair, trying to remember what had happened.

Bloody eyes, a person, no a man.. I remember having a good kick in before the bastard did something that knocked me out. And words.. I frown, but no matter how hard I think, I can't remember what my attacker said. I shrug. At least I was still alive. That had to count for something, right? With a grimace, I let my eyes wander over to a lone person watching me from the other side of the room.

Pearly eyes meet mine and I frown. "What am I doing here? Who are you?"

The boy crosses his arms and shakes his head before walking to my bed. "I've heard things about you, Uzumaki Naruto. But, I didn't expect to meet you in here. In my territory."

"Look, I don't have time to play mind games with you, ok?" I growl when he just looks at me strangely. "I-I've got to go and talk to someone."

"Let me take a wild guess. A certain Uchiha?"

My hand automatically reaches for the cross on my necklace and I nod. "How did you-"

"I don't. But you're quite the celebrity around here, especially when it comes to Uchiha Sasuke." His slim hands reach to adjust the headband around his silky, ravenous hair. "I'm the medic of this Mansion and it'd be best for you to limit our visits. I don't take kindly to those who waste Sasuke-san's time."

Words ringing in my head, I stand up, almost stumbling when my sore body protests. Who was this guy? And why was I sensing this odd hostility between us? Trying to shake off the pain, I walk closer to the pale boy. "Hey! I don't know who you are, but I've had enough of stupid bastards." I point a finger in his direction, and the blindingly white eyes narrow. "I had a fantastic birthday, thanks for asking, except for at the end when some creepy guy mauled me in the middle of a dark hallway. And now I'm being told that I waste Sasuke's time when it's the other way around?"

I sigh when I'm confronted with silence then scratch my head with a slight grin. "I don't want to kick your ass, so show me the door and I'll stop bothering you, ne?"

"Wrong."

Without any warning, he steps closer to me and I back away. "What are-"

Cool hands cup my face, abruptly, and it's all I can do not to punch the daylights out of this complete stranger. I'm forced to look his way as his eyes search mine and for a second, I feel a pull to him. It feels so strong, like he's wavering in between my mind and my body. There's something weird going on here, but before I can break the contact, he lets go and feels my forehead.

"Tell me how you've healed so quickly and why I found you consumed with red energy in the middle of the night. I know who you are, Uzumaki, but I'd rather you confirm my suspicions."

I pout, feeling a little irritated that everyone seemed to know about the beast inside of me. "I don't even know your name. For all I know, you could be Orochimaru's lovechild. I mean, you've got the hair and the pale skin."

A twitch. "Love.. Child?"

"Oh, you know! That thing that pops out of the womb of whoever Orochimaru gets pregn-"

"I know what it is." He seems to realize that his palm is still on my forehead, because he quickly takes his hand away. "My name is Neji. Hyuuga Neji."

"And you knew who I was when you found me?"

"Indeed. Not many people have your more.. unique traits." His gaze sweeps through my orange jumpsuit and my bewildered face. If I were any less of a man, I would have blushed from those searing eyes, but instead, I just scowl and cross my arms.

"Okay, Neji. We've done our introductions, so can I go now?"

"Why the rush? Sasuke-san can wait."

My jaw drops and I have an urge to punch the smirking face. Instead, I just shake my head. "You have an eerie obsession with me and Sasuke. So, I'm just going to go and-"

Unfortunately, I'm halted in my tracks when Neji grabs my arm and forces me to look at him again. Staring into those serene eyes, I can hear a roar in my ears, a swell of chaos hiding behind peace. I don't understand what's going on, but I can't move my hands or my fingers, can't remember what I'm doing.

The voice is soft, cajoling. "I'm not supposed to do this, but for the sake of Konoha... Tell me, Uzumaki Naruto. What's the name of the demon inside of you?"

Euphoria washes over me, like the sluggish fog that's descending over my head, and I smile, unable to stop my words. "Kyuubi."

"So I was right.. And do you know about the Akatsuki?"

Gaara. I blink, but another look at those pale eyes sends me into another trance. "Yes." Colors shift in front of me, abruptly, as the boy in front of me frowns. I can't remember why I'm here, can't recognize these questions, these answers..

"But how? If you know of them, then surely you must know Uchiha Ita-"

"Get the hell away from him, Hyuuga."

Senses pound into my head and it's all I can do not to falter. Everything is so blinding, but not as white as those eyes that are currently looking at a figure in the doorway. I'm confused, but whenever I try to think, it hurts. So, instead, I just ignore the numbing chill in the back of my head and turn towards the door.

Warmth floods me and I smile broadly when I see who walked into the room. "Sasuke-teme! I need to talk to you!"

He looks at me for a second before smirking. "Not now, dobe."

I'm about to complain before I realize that I'm right in the middle of a staring contest between Neji and Sasuke. The tension between the two of them is so frigid that I have to hop on my feet to keep warm. I have no idea what's going on, but Sasuke doesn't look like a happy camper.

"Hyuuga."

"Sasuke-sama."

Sasuke's eyes flash before he takes a step forward. "What the hell was that?"

"I have the utmost respect for you, Sasuke-san, but you know that my work entails-"

"Your work entails nothing. I thought I made it very clear what goes on in my Mansion." He glares at Neji, who has the courtesy to lower his head. "If you ever go near Naruto again, I'll make sure that you never set foot in my house again."

Neji's eyes wander towards me and I just stare back in confusion. They weren't just arguing about me.. There was something deeper underneath this conversation.. But my head still hurts whenever I think, so I just pout. Neji blinks at me before turning towards Sasuke with a mocking bow.

"Of course, Sasuke-san." He pauses then continues gravely. "Although I'm surprised you trust him so easily. "

The words seem to have their effect because Sasuke's eyes widen with almost imperceptible panic. His fists clench and his eyes are violent, pained. I don't have time to ask the obvious, because Sasuke walks towards me, grabs my arm, and drags me to the door. I yelp as my bandages rip from the hasty movement, and Sasuke flashes me a look of concern before facing Neji.

"We'll discuss this later, Hyuuga." He spits out then closes the door with a bang.

I gulp as Sasuke continues leading me forward and it's entirely too silent. My arm tingles from the grip that he has on my wrist while my mind is jumping from questions to questions. How did Sasuke know Neji? Maybe it was an unwritten rule that all bastards know each other, but it still didn't explain why Sasuke had looked like he wanted to rip Neji's heart out. I focus my gaze on Sasuke, who's breathing heavily and looking like he wants to punch something. Even though he's angry, he still looks breathtaking with his flushed cheeks and stormy eyes.

Realizing that I've just complimented the enemy, I quickly shake my head and laugh nervously. "Eh, Sasuke, do you know where we're going?"

He turns around to look at me and I squirm under his intense gaze. He's doing that thing again, that thing where he's burning me with the heat in his touch, his eyes, and I'm falling until I can't stop..

"We're getting out, dobe, and I don't want to hear any complaints."

I frown and plant my feet firmly on the ground, causing Sasuke to stop as well. "No."

Sasuke stares at me until a smirk graces his features. "No?"

"No." I cross my arms, trying not to wince when the warmth from Sasuke's hand disappears. "I want to know what's going on and what this has to do with me. I mean, I just got attacked for crying out loud! In fact, if it hadn't been for you, this never would have happened!"

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. "Really? And how do I figure in on this idiotic idea of yours?"

I cough as the realization of what I've just said catches up to me. But there's no dodging the question so I meekly shrug. "I thought it was you in the hallway, wishing me a happy birthday."

There's a silence before the corner of Sasuke's lips twitch. "Dobe."

I throw my hands in the air, exasperated. "Yeah, well, you don't have to tell me twice." I stop then stare suspiciously at Sasuke. "From what I saw, he looked a lot like you. Say, you don't happen to have a br-"

"Don't."

Sasuke turns away from me and walks ahead, leaving me to blink in confusion. "Wait, teme, come back!" I run blindly in the dark until I collide into Sasuke, almost knocking both of us over. I sheepishly grin as Sasuke grunts then wave my arms.

"Aren't you going to do anything about the bastard who attacked me?"

Sasuke shakes his head. "He was probably someone you offended when you were.." He looks me over then smirks. "In mourning. Besides, I don't interfere in other people's business."

I make a puppy-dog face. "Not even me? I mean, you do know that the bastard attacked me right here, right?" I point to my ribs. "And here? And here?" I yelp when I accidentally poke my right eye. Sasuke, on the other hand, just sighs in irritation.

I point a finger at him, accusingly. "Teme! What kind of cold-hearted bastard are you?"

His eye twitches but before I can comment, he grabs my arm.

My eyes widen as I'm suddenly pulled close to Sasuke and our faces are only inches apart. Our breaths mingle together and that face is beautiful with the marble skin and chiseled chin. But it's the eyes that get me. It always is. It's blinding.

Without thinking, I quickly screw my eyes shut, making a face at the complete darkness that surrounds.

"What are you doing?"

"Shut up, Sasuke-bastard." I grit between my teeth. "My eyes hurt."

"Really?"

I nod blindly, smiling broadly. "I'd prefer not to see your ugly face, teme."

There's a silence and I inwardly congratulate myself for my success. At this rate, maybe he'd be so annoyed that he'd give me all the information that I needed! I smile, about to open my eyes, until something brushes my lips.

I freeze.

"And if I let you go?" Sasuke's whispering against my lips, and we're so close together that I instantly heat up. His body is entirely too warm. Too comfortable. His lips are soft and we align too goddamn perfectly, even though he's speaking and I'm still squeezing my eyes shut.

"Open your eyes, usuratonkachi."

His breath is warm and makes my lips moist, and there's barely any pressure on my lips, but it's almost like kissing that I can't breathe, can't think properly. I feel like a stupid schoolgirl, but the Uchiha has that effect on me. Hesitantly, I slowly open my eyes, and I see him.

Why are you holding me like this?

I gulp then shove him off me and duck away from him. "Not fair! Y-you can't do that!" I gather up all my courage then face him. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto and you're not going to stop me. I'll find out about all of your secrets, asshole!"

Sasuke smirks. "You weren't so loud two seconds ago."

"Gah, I hate you, bastard!"

"The feeling's mutual."

"No way!! I hate you so much more!"

Sasuke's eyes are two piercing lights in the darkness. "You can't. You would never have gotten this far without me, Uzumaki. Admit it. You're in my debt."

I sputter some words, but Sasuke ignores me and instead focuses his gaze on something on my neck. I look down, only to see the cross with its neat golden angles. I start fiddling with it and Sasuke says in a low voice. "Belief. It's what you needed."

He continues, leaving me even more confused. "I don't believe in God, Naruto. But I need you to."

"Wait, what?" I exclaim. "Then what was the deal with you driving me to that church?"

"I took you to an abandoned church, moron." Sasuke scowls. "Not many people around here believe in your God."

I scratch my head, eyes wide. "You mean there's more than one God?"

Sasuke shakes his head, hair falling into his face, then turns away. "I don't want to talk about this anymore, Uzumaki. You'll soon find that religion isn't for everyone, especially for people in the Mansion."

I nod, but I doubt Sasuke can see me in the dark hallway. Even after all this time that I've spent with Sasuke, I still don't know enough about him. He's immersed in mystery, almost covered with that scent of coldness, but I always feel that pull around him. Why? Even with Gaara, I-

Gaara.

Was this why? Maybe I was just desperate to drown again.. To hurt again. I scowl and cross my arms. No. I had learned from my past and it didn't matter if the Mansion had twenty Sasukes. Whatever attraction I had for the raven-haired boy was going to end right now.

Because never again...

"Oh and dobe?"

Startled, I look up and Sasuke's right there, contradicting every emotion that's swirling in my body.

"Yeah?"

"Happy birthday."

I grin like an idiot and laugh, even though it hurts.

Never?

Never.


A week after I get mauled, I walk into Kakashi's room for my daily dose of counseling. But what I see causes me to stumble flat on my face and twitch abnormally. There's a shuffling noise and a flurry of whispers, but I'm too busy trying not to eat dirt with my gaping mouth. Eventually, the silence gets too long.

"Oh. Heh. Narruto.. Umm. Kakashi-kun had something. On his lap. That I was trying to get off."

"Good one, dolphin. Just ignore the fact that Naruto's probably going to need fifty more sessions to get over your attempt to.. help me."

"Well, I don't see you contributing!"

"Oh, you have no idea how much I've been contributing."

Whap

"Okay, okay! Naruto, this is Iruka, my significant other. My feisty bed mate. My life partner. Thus, what you just saw was a healthy and, I admit, horny, display of affection that's perfectly normal between two people, regardless of gender, ethnicity, social background, etc, etc, etc."

I twitch again. Kakashi discreetly zips up his pants. Iruka blushes.

"I'll be going now. Nice talking to you, Naruto. Stay out of trouble, ok?"

The door shuts and after a minute, I get off from the floor, imprint on my face. Kakashi and I blink simultaneously and just like that, the moment has never happened.

I grin then plunk myself into a chair. "Oi, pervert! What're we doing today? I'm hungry so make it quick!"

Kakashi makes a steeple with his hands and leans forward in his chair. There's a shining glint in his eye that seems a bit dangerous, which is only accentuated by the looming windows behind him. His mask slides down a little, as if to foreshadow a warning, and I gulp.

His voice, when he speaks, is low and soft. "I'm not going to lie, Naruto. Today, we're going to do something that few of my patients have undergone. If you're not careful, this just might break you in half."

I try to laugh, even though it comes out a little nervously. "O..kay. So, what're we gonna do?"

A pause. "We're going to play.. A game."

xx

"Ha! Is it blue?"

"No."

"Red?"

"Yes."

"Does it have to do with Iruka?"

"Yes."

"Sex?"

"Yes."

"Gaah, I knew it! Pervert-sensei!"

"Question form, Naruto."

"Oh, sorry. Umm.. Is it adaptable?"

Thoughtful pause. "It certainly was when I used it."

"AHHH! TMI! TMI!"

"Well, just go ahead and say it if you know what it is."

I leap up out of my chair and make a fist in the air. "It's a strawberry flavored condom, isn't it?!"

Kakashi sighs then reluctantly takes out a plate of brownies. "Yes."

I whoop then take a handful of crumbling brownies before shoving them into my mouth. The sweet flavor overtakes my entire senses and I sit back down in my chair, a little dazed. Those brownies got better by the day, thanks to Iruka's superb cooking skills. Why he was a counselor and not a cook was beyond me.. I keep chewing my brownie, trying to taste every flavor and chocolate chip.

Kakashi waits patiently until I've finished then casually says, "Best three out of five?"

I think for a minute before shrugging. Why not? "You choose?"

He nods and I drum my fingers on his desk. "So, you going to give me a hint, old man?"

Kakashi absentmindedly taps his pen on his mouth and it's a while before he finally says, "Something you need to get rid of."

I nod, crack my knuckles, then prepare to cream my counselor in 20 Questions.

"Object?"

"No."

"Small?"

"No."

"Big?"

"Yes."

"Person?"

"No."

"Place?"

"No."

I stop, confused. Since when did Kakashi care about my garbage collection? Judging from the stern creases in his forehead, Kakashi's not going to fork up any more clues. The clock ticks as I lean back into my chair, rubbing my chin in mock-thought. A thought suddenly pops into my head and I snap my fingers.

"Wait, this has to do with me, right?"

Kakashi rolls his eyes. "Does that count as a question?"

"Ne, no! Anyway, since you're my counselor, I'm going to guess.. Feelings? Emotions?"

Kakashi clears his throat and nods. "You're on track, but I don't want you to get rid of all of your feelings."

I wink then brush a hand through my messy hair. "Gotchya. Okay, just one specific feeling." I pause then hesitantly ask, "Does this have to do with Sasuke?"

"Surprisingly, no." Kakashi snorts when I breathe a sigh of relief. "That topic will be for another day."

I make a face then continue guessing. "Does this have to do with my past?"

"Yes."

"Kiba?"

"No."

"My past orphanages?"

"No."

I smirk, even though my insides are knotted up with tension. There was only one thing left, then. It surprises me that Kakashi is so willing to discuss the beast inside of me, Kyuubi, but I guess that's what counselors are for. For now, I guess I would just have to savor the victory of winning this pointless game.

"I got it, I got it, ero-sensei! I have to rid of my feelings for that.. thing inside of me." It's weird to talk so casually about something as big as Kyuubi, but Kakashi doesn't blink an eye. Instead he just shakes his head, leaving me to frown.

"Once again, that's a topic for another day."

"EH?! If it's not that, then what is it?!" I scratch my nose while mulling it over. I had to get rid of some emotion that had belonged to me in the past.. And it didn't concern Kiba, my past orphanages, or even Kyuubi. Then what could it-

"Think, Naruto. Repressing him won't help you heal."

My eyes widen and it's like a flood, hitting me all at once. Tattoos on pale skin, cigarette smoke mingling with our breaths, that flood of emotion hitting me, engulfing me. Before now, I had let him into my head in trickles, little rivers of pain, but now..

"You know, Naruto. Tell me."

I look up through my blonde hair, trying desperately to keep my voice from shaking.

"D-Does this have to do with.. Gaara?"

Kakashi nods gravely and I don't know what to do. On one hand, I want to continue pushing away all thoughts of Gaara, because it hurts. It hurts so much to remember, to feel those swirling emotions, to touch hands with fate. But another part of me wants to continue, because it's the only thing I can do. Because never can't last forever.

"I.." I falter, words slipping on my tongue. "I can't..."

"I know what he did to you, Naruto. I know what he did to your friend, to the orphanage.. Yet, you can't get over him."

I shake my head vigorously, trying to break that fragility inside of me. "You think it's been easy? You think I can just erase the past three years of my life?"

"I don't want you to forget."

"What?" I raise my hands up in frustration, blowing air from my mouth. "I got your little game. You want me to get rid of every thought, every memory of Gaara." I stop when Kakashi's impassioned stare drills into my own pleading eyes. "You don't get it, though. I can't do it. I can't forget."

"That wasn't the point of my game at all, Naruto." Soft. It's odd to hear this faint gentleness coming behind Kakashi's mask. "It would be cruel of me to command you to forget Gaara. But in order to move on, you have to let go. You can't suppress and expect to live life normally."

"But that's the thing! I'm living life fine. I can take care of myself."

"No. No, you can't."

I growl, trying to resist the urge to get up and walk out of the room. "I told you already. I can't trust anymore. The last time I trusted, I got hurt. My friends got hurt. I can't expect you to understand, but a part of me died on that day. That day.. In the fire.." My eyes dim, memories attacking me from all sides. "I trusted him. I.. I loved him."

"Don't delude yourself. You never did."

Kakashi's smirk makes me see red and I jump from my seat, hands shaking.. "Don't judge me on the basis of the shit that my file holds. Why do you think it hurts so much for me to remember? Because there was a point in my life when I loved him, when I would have done anything for him. With him, I-I felt alive. We did everything together. Did you know that? Huh? Did my fucking file mention that?"

Kakashi keeps staring at me with those impenetrable eyes and I want to burst, to throw all my anger at him in one strike.

"He saved me from myself. Did you know that? I bet you didn't know that we'd run away from every orphanage together, living in the streets and defending each other. I bet you didn't know that I held him in my arms after every assassination attempt from his own fucking family. We spent three fucking years together, sleeping in the garbage, killing anyone who got in our way. Did my file mention that? Did you know that? Better yet, do you fucking know anything?"

Blinding anger stings my eyes and I dig my nails into my palms, daring Kakashi to continue sitting there in silence. The clock keep ticking, trying to appease the volatile air, but it doesn't work, because I'm still here, still hurting, still remembering.

Seconds pass, and I finally collapse into my chair, bitterness tinting my words. "I cared for him. So don't tell me that I never loved him."

"I was lying when I said you never loved him."

I scowl. "Figures."

"But there's something you need to know."

I laugh, too jaded to care. "What?"

"Gaara of the Sand loved you too." He looks straight at me and something inside me falls to pieces, like broken roses. "And that's why you and him will never, ever be together again."


Naruto loved him far, far too much. If someone had warned him about this destructive love, maybe, just maybe things could have turned out differently. But no one did, and this is the price we pay for silence.

How frustrating it must have been when you realized that you couldn't save everyone. Was it worth it, Uzumaki Naruto?

Was it worth your soul?

Kakashi


AN: So we're getting to the good stuff. Ish. I'm going to try to update twice a week, but no promises. School eats my soul. :)

REVIEWERS. WOW. WOW. CAN I MARRY EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU? /end creepy moment. I really don't know why everyone's being so nice to me... It's such a fantastic feeling. Thank you guys!

Feel free to ask questions! I'm happy to answer/explain as best as I can. And remember! Fantastic reviews leave me really motivated to write. :)