Hourglass Cipher- I've been following the same episode timeline as the show has used. Though mine has some differences including how I won't be using episodes from "Not What he Seems" and so on. Another difference is that I switched the timing between "Society of the Blind Eye" and "Soos and the Real Girl". So in answer to your question, no, "Northwest Mystery Mansion, (or Noir)" has not taken place yet. I'm thinking I'll write a modified version of it, but maybe not. It could interfere with some of the stuff I'm planning.
If any of you are okay with me cutting "Northwest Mystery Mansion, (or Noir)" out of my Gravity Falls universe please let me know. If not, also let me know and I'll see what I can do to make it work. But as I've already said there will be some major changes, just so you know.
Hey, remember how I said that I had an idea for Soos and the Real Girl? Well, here it is. Enjoy.
Fallen Pine Trees
Chapter 5: Soos and the Real Girl
It had been four days since Dipper had revealed his secret relationship with Pacifica Northwest. So far Soos, Wendy, and his Grunkle Stan were supportive of his choice. His twin sister Mabel wasn't so happy about it, (since she and Pacifica are sworn, enemies). She refused to speak to Dipper. Even going so far as to lock him out of their shared bedroom till he apologized. Which forced Dipper to start sleeping in the Shack's breakroom.
This lasted for two days till Mabel agreed to accept Dipper's apologies. However, Mabel refused to support Dipper and Pacifica's relationship till Pacifica apologized to her and her friends for every mean thing she's said to them. Dipper was hoping that she'd eventually get over it, accepting her brother's new girlfriend.
At the moment, Dipper was reading one of his journals in the gift shop while Stan was trying to get some kid to waste a nickel on some old, creepy, novelty dispenser called Goldie. Wendy, on the other hand, was trying to get Stan to throw it out since she thought that the thing reminded everyone of the horribleness of death. Soos was occupied with his own objective, hiding behind a rack of t-shirts, (while acting nervous), staring at some woman checking out a snowglobe with a bored look on her face.
"Alright, Soos. You can do this. Just make words that cause romance to happen," Soos said to himself before he stood up out of his hiding place, and started talking to the girl. "Your face is good. I'm a Soos!"
This caused the woman to drop the snowglobe, running away screaming.
Feeling defeated, Soos returned to hiding behind the t-shirts.
Dipper, (who had noticed the whole incident), walked over to Soos, pulling a shirt back to reveal his friend.
"Whoa, Soos. What was that all about?" Dipper asked.
"I uh, uh" Soos stammered. "I think I was flirting."
"Did someone say flirting?" Asked Mabel. Popping her head out of a barrel of question mark keychains.
"I sort of promised my Grandma that I'd get a date for my Cousin Reggie's engagement party," Soos explained. "But I'm no good with women."
Filled with depression, Soos grabbed an "out of order" sign and put it on his chest. "This sign says what I am."
"Soos let me give you some good old advice." Said Stan. "Just lie about being rich. If you can't then you got no chance."
"Don't listen to him Soos," said Wendy. "You're a sweet guy with a truck and a steady job."
"Oh really? Would you date him?" Stan asked.
"Well uh…would you look at that," Wendy said before covering her face with her magazine.
"Don't worry Soos. We'll help you get a date," Dipper said in an attempt to cheer up his friend. "I mean you help us out all the time. It's time to return the favour."
"Besides," Mabel added. "This is the perfect chance for me to play matchmaker. And to do that we're taking you to the place where romance is born, and fashion styles die…the Mall!"
A few minutes later Stan, Soos, Dipper and Mabel had arrived at Gravity Mall.
"I'm gonna go find a replacement for Goldie here. You two "referring to Dipper and Mabel", babysit Soos for a while." Stan instructed before heading off with Goldie.
After Stan had left, Dipper turned towards Soos, saying, "Now I know you're nervous Soos. However, I happen to be quite the expert on love."
"That's my line," complained Mabel.
"Anyways" Dipper continued. "Girls love guys with looks, brains, are kind, but also have a bit of dark side. Though I know you don't have that last quality in you. So before we left the Shack, I called in someone who can get you any girl."
"WHAT!?" Screamed Mabel.
Suddenly the door to the mall opened. Revealing none other than Pacifica Northwest.
Once again Mabel felt like her brother was stabbing her with betrayal. Matchmaking was her passion. It had been her summer dream to set two people up or find love herself. Yet her brother was either ignoring this or not caring. Since he'd basically replaced her with her worst enemy.
"What are you doing here?" Mabel asked. Pointing a finger towards Pacifica.
"Mason told me Soos was having troubles finding a date. And honestly, I couldn't resist helping a person in need." Answered Pacifica.
Truefully Pacifica didn't really like Soos. But since he was friends with her boyfriend, she was obliged to assist in this matter. Also, the chance to beat Mabel at her desired dream of matchmaking was too good an opportunity to pass on.
Mabel saw right through this, however, "do I look stupid to you?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?" Replied Pacifica.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh." Called out some random guy.
Before things got worse, Dipper got into the conversation, "Look, girls, I get you hate each other. But right now Soos needs all the help he can get. And we all have some experience with romance. So why not combined our knowledge/skills to get Soos a date for his cousin's engagement party." Whispers into Pacifica's ear. "If you do this I'll take you to where I found those crystals I was telling you about yesterday, "referring to the ones from 'Little Dipper'".
"Fine," said Pacifica reluctantly. "You in Mabel?"
"Okay. But only for Soos. Not for you. Or your boyfriend."
"I'll take it," Dipper said. Happy that Pacifica and Mabel had reached some sort of, minor, agreement. "So Pacifica, why don't you explain to Soos what he needs to do in order to get a girl to date him."
"Very well," Pacifica said before she started to explain what Soos needed to do. "Now Soos in order to get a girl you've never met before to date you, you need to flirt. In order to flirt correctly, you need…"
"Eye contact, conversation, and confidence." Interrupted Mabel.
"Mabel." Said Dipper. Annoyed by his sister's interruption.
However, Pacifica couldn't really argue with Mabel on this one. "No, she's spot on for once. Those are the three aspects of flirting. Each must be used correctly in order to successfully get a date."
"So go out there and flirt, flirt, flirt." Ordered Mabel.
Sadly Soos didn't do so well with flirting. He tried everything that the girls had told him but just ended up getting rejected each time. Eventually, Pacifica suggested another solution, a new look.
"Looks get people's attention," Pacifica explained. "Particularly clothes. Certain outfits give people an idea of what kind of person you are. In your case," points to Soos, "your outfit sets you off as a man in a dead-end job, who's not one bit interesting."
"Hey, that's not true," protested Soos.
"Yes it is, and women don't think that's attractive. So we need to change this by getting you a whole new wardrobe. One that makes says you're interesting."
"For once I like where this is going," Mabel commented. "Good thing I brought my sweeter making kit."
"Uh-uh. Sweaters are only going to make things worse." Pacifica protested. "He needs fashionable clothes from the best store in the entire mall."
"Just so you all know. I don't actually think that about sweaters. I'm just writing what I think Pacifica would think while adding further tension towards her and Mabel. The same with what Pacifica said about Soos and what women think of his clothes."
A few minutes later, the three kids plus Soos were inside Fashion Drama. Where Soos was already in a changing stall, trying on a new outfit that Pacifica had picked out for him.
When he came out, he was dressed in a white shirt, under a brown coat, with a long turquoise scarf, and gray jeans.
"That's a pretty good look," Pacifica commented. "Makes you look smart."
"Yeah and I can totally show it by telling girls all about my theory that the mailman is a werewolf."
"Yeah on second thought, maybe that look should be reserved for people who are actually smart. Like Dipper."
Next, a red and blue sweater vest. Which Pacifica was not happy about.
"Augh. I told you Mabel, no sweaters. And sweater vests are a type of sweater."
After that Dipper picked out a bad boy sort of look. This was comprised of ripped jeans and a black, sleeveless shirt with a bird skeleton that had "I KILL EVERYTHING" written on it.
"When I said how girls like men with a dark side. I kind of meant it in terms of an inner sort of thing." Pacifica said to Dipper.
After a few more failed outfits, Soos came out of the changing room. Feeling utterly depressed. "It's no use guys. I've tried everything and nothing's working. Not even the clothes showed signs of success."
At the moment, Mabel had just returned from a nearby toy capsule machine with a sticky hand toy. Where in response to her friend's remark said, "Don't worry Soos. You'll find someone. You just need to stick with it no matter what." Sticks the toy hand to Soos while saying this. Though it doesn't help cheer Soos up what so ever.
To make matters worse, Soos suddenly see's Reggie, (his engaged cousin), inside the store with his fiancé. Out of fear of being seen in his desperate state, Soos runs straight out of the store till he reached Beebly Boop's Videogames, where he hoped to drown his misery in video games.
Inside the store, he began weeping over his loneliness. "I know it's so sad : (" Till he found a computer game called Romance Academy 7. According to the box the game was designed to help people develop the skills needed to get a girlfriend. It even mentioned how nine out of ten basement dwellers recommended the game.
"Well you are better at video games than flirting," Dipper remarked upon arriving in the store, (along with Pacifica and Mabel), and seeing the new game that Soos had found.
"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Pacifica said in agreement to her boyfriend's remark.
"Sir, I'm not sure you wanna buy that game," warned the Store Clerk. "Three people have returned this game, and the last person wrote a note on it saying 'this game must be destroyed at all costs.'"
While the clerk is saying this, Soos attempted to flirt with a cardboard cut-out. Ultimately failing when it fell over.
"Oh my god, she's dead!" Soos cries out.
Because of that Mabel says, "Well take our chances."
Soos bought the video game. Then went back home to start practicing his dating skills. The game proved to be addictive since Soos played it all throughout the night. Not stopping to rest, or use the bathroom. He even continued playing it during the morning, resulting in him missing work, (something he's never done before in his life). It got to the point where Dipper, Mabel, and Pacifica had to go to his room, dragging him off the computer, towards the mall for another round of flirting.
When they arrived at the mall Mabel rushes into the girls' bathroom in order to find girls for Soos to flirt with. Causing the occupants of the washroom to run out in screaming.
At this point Dipper noticed security guards coming after Mabel. "And…here comes security. Pacifica do you mind…?"
"Augh fine. But only for you. Soos, while we're gone go practice whatever flirting skills you learned from that video game."
Unfortunately, Soos was too nervous to use any of his skills. To make matters worse, Giffany, (the computer game's main character that Soos had interacted with while playing the game), turned out to be an unstable sentient who becomes infatuated by whoever plays the game, (in this instance that player is Soos). She was so unstable that her creators tried to delete her, but instead were electrocuted to death by Giffany.
When Soos had been dragged back to the mall, Giffany used powerlines to follow Soos and interact with him at the mall by hacking into TVs on display, and even a toy train, "the kind that kids ride in the mall", one that Soos began to ride.
This joy ride ended when the machine required five cents in order for Soos to continue. Unbeknownst to Soos, a young woman around his age who worked at Meat Cute had been watching/admiring him. When his ride ended she revealed herself to him and compliment him on how she thought that what he'd been doing was cool. The woman introduced herself as Melody, who shared a love of childish activities like Soos did. The two of them had a wonderful conversation about their shared interests. At the end of the conversation Soos, inadvertently, invited Melody on a date at Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree. Who in turn, accepted his, and even gave him a nickel for the toy train before heading back to work.
As he was about to insert the nickel, Mabel appeared out of nowhere, diving straight at Soos while yelling, "SOOS YOU DID IT!"
"Wayda go, Soos." said Dipper as he and Pacifica walked over towards the others, "Soos and Mabel". "We saw the whole thing. You were amazing."
"Yeah, no kidding," Pacifica complimented. "You successfully talked to a real, live woman without scaring her. Used everything that we taught you. And to top it all off, you managed to acquire yourself a date. Very impressive in my opinion."
"I got a date?" Soos asked himself. Having not realized what had transpired just a minute ago.
"I'VE DONE IT! I"VE MADE A MATCH!" Mabel yelled excitedly.
"But what about Giffany?" Soos asked.
"Soos," said Dipper. "You've got a date. You don't need Giffany anymore."
"Besides, you're becoming a bit attached to that game. And it's creeping us out," Pacifica added. "You need to return it."
After his talk with the kids. Soos headed home to have a chat with Giffany. It didn't go so well, as Soos soon realized that the game clerk was right about the game. During the date, GIffany tried to not only ruin it but also transfer Soos's mind into the game with her. Fortunately Soos, (with the help of Dipper, Mabel, and Pacifica), were able to destroy the Romance Academy disc, (Giffany's life source). Along with that, Melody agreed to continue to go out with Soos, including going to Reggie's engagement party with him.
Overall everybody got what they wanted from it. Soos got a girlfriend. Dipper got to help his friend out; plus get his sister and girlfriend to start getting along. Abuelita, "Soos's grandmother", now knew that when her time came, she would die knowing that her grandson would be settled. Pacifica got some new crystals for her rare jewellery collection. And Stanford got a new replacement for Goldie.
During Soos's date, (when Giffany attacked the restaurant that he was at), Stan was able to steal the big, mechanical badger that entertained kids, while getting them to give it their money, "Yeah, I'm shocked about this also".
Now, this chapter was not how I planned, but as you write things change. Also, not to spoil anything, but tensions between Mabel and Pacifica are still very high. And things between the Pines twins are about to get bumpy. Dun, dun, dun!
