Man I don't know why this chapter seemed to be so hard to write. It's so strange writing as Tadashi and he's so hard to nail down that I doubt I will be doing this again. Still, at least he's finally admitting his feelings.
Hope you enjoy the chapter!
~CWA
CHAPTER NINE
Tadashi Hamada
I'm not a very angry person. I don't hold grudges. I don't yell at people. I try my best to get along with everyone…. But then there's Daniel Fenton. Danny. The one person I ever met who seems to push any and all buttons that I have. He's attractive- his eyes especially have a sort of unique way of sucking people in and even if he's a bit on the shorter end of the stick, he has a large personality that makes him seem like the biggest person in the room sometimes. Charming. Even his voice is smooth and sways people. He has a sort of look about them that practically screams Gothic movie actor. For a brief moment, I trail off in my thoughts wondering just when I have began thinking about him like that before shaking it all off.
He does have his own faults.
For one, I still don't like his apparent 'hook up' with Ai as if it meant nothing to him at all. I don't think she personally minded just having a one time thing with him, but it bothers me that this guy, who aside from his belief in ghosts, seems to be a pretty good guy and yet he's not giving women the respect they deserve. There's just something about the idea of a one night thing that burrows deep in my skin uncomfortably and makes me uneasy. A part of me wonders if the guy ever had a serious relationship or any relationship if he's just here having a bunch of hook ups instead of an actual relationship. I'm sure he could find someone easily enough…. But that's not his only fault.
Secondly, he's open about things, or at least, he doesn't mind speaking about things every now and then, but there's something there. Something that just seems like he still isn't telling us everything or if he's lying to us. It's hard to tell which. He may be open about some things, but Danny is still one of the most secretive people that I know. I mean, the guy still hasn't let anyone see his detailed notes or blueprints about the portal.
Lastly, he's infuriating. He doesn't seem to take science too seriously if he's actually going to build some sort of portal to a ghost zone of all places. A dimensional portal in itself would be hard to believe, but at least it'd be more plausible, but a portal to an actual Limbo? With actual ghosts? I can't wrap my head around it. He seems like an intelligent guy, and yet he just goes on and on about ghosts. So much potential just wasted. He could be using that genius to help people, help others, and yet there he is speaking about ghosts as if they are right beside him.
Ghosts, I shake my head slightly, unbelievable. Don't get me wrong, maybe at one point I did believe in ghosts. I know I did when I was a kid and Mom and Dad would try to calm me down after I swore up and down that there was a ghost in my closet… But after their deaths, I guess I have to heavily rely on the belief in a happier ending in the afterlife then just staying here and lingering….
The sad thing is, if not for our dispute about the existence of ghosts, I really think he'd be a good friend. He's a nice guy- I haven't seen him do or say a single bad thing to anyone or about anyone (aside from me occasionally due to our feud). He actually doesn't seem to mind Fred bugging him every ten minutes about this and that. From what I've heard, he actually tries to keep his side of the room as clean as he can and cause as little of a mess as possible so it doesn't bother Wasabi. He shares music interests with Honey Lemon- I think they've even briefly thought about going to a concert together. Even GoGo likes Danny and I don't think GoGo ever really likes anyone aside from our little group- which, even if it's a bit hard to admit, I think Danny is a part of.
God I wish we weren't always fighting. Maybe then we'd actually be able to really get to know each other. We could talk about our projects logically and calmly. Share advice and he could maybe even help me make improvements for Baymax to work properly and maybe then I'll get to see just how he plans for this portal of his to work. Maybe be very close friends- though he doesn't really seem to be close friends with anyone rather just good friends with everyone. And I do try, I really do, to keep calm and I tell myself that I won't fight with him every day I see him. But when he opens his mouth and spews this nonsense about ghosts, I can't help but fight back- just a little bit anyway. We're both a bit stubborn I suppose when it comes to defending our own beliefs…. That I'm up to something smirk of his doesn't help things either. Not matter how damn attractive it is.
I shake all those thoughts about Danny, positive and otherwise, out of my head as I try to focus on working. Aunt Cass has been working really hard lately and she deserves a break- I practically ushered out to go get her hair or nails done as a treat (I even gave her the money she would need for it) and leave the cafe to me and Hiro. She was hesitant, but Hiro and I reassured her that we would be able to handle it. I just feel so bad that she's often left here doing all of this herself when I'm gone. I know Hiro does his best to help, but even he can't do that much.
I'm in the middle of cleaning one of the tables when there's a small chime signaling that a new customer came in. Turning, there's a big smile on my face as I greet them automatically out of habit.
"Hello and welcome to Lucky Cat Cafe how can I- oh. It's you."
My smile falters as I see Danny enter the shop. He eyes me up and down with an amused grin on his face, his eyes gleaming with mischief. I tense up a bit, straightening my back and squaring my shoulders as my jaw clenches.
"So, disturbing me at the college wasn't enough?"
The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Crap. That… That was actually really rude of me. I inwardly wince at the words, but try to keep a calm demeanor.
"Unclench your ass, Tadashi," Danny snorts with a smirk, "Believe it or not, my whole life doesn't resolve bothering you. In fact, I actually come in here a lot. I do have a life outside the college you know."
I narrow my eyes a bit, not really trusting his answer. I figured that he would have to be here eventually. I mean, Aunt Cass does run a rather popular cafe, especially for college students. But until now I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, he would avoid the place or have better things to do. Apparently I'm not that lucky. Not only is here, but according to him, it's not the first time he's been here either.
"Not much of a life, I reckon, you seem to be some sort of depressed loner with issues," I can't help but retort, causing Danny to tense as he squares his shoulders.
Shit. Looks like I hit a nerve with him. I didn't mean for it to come out that harshly and almost as soon as it's out in the open, I regret it. A heavy guilt and shame cover me tightly and feels heavy on my shoulders.
There's something in his eyes that I haven't seen before. Almost like anger, but it seems to closely resemble grief. I almost forgot that, just like me, Danny lost his parents. Except that it wasn't years ago like my own parents' death, it was more recent. So of course he doesn't have that many friends outside our group (and even then we're not really close friends). He's probably still grieving in his own way, something I know too much about myself…. And I know just how easy it is to spiral into a true depression when in that grieving stage...
….I'm an asshole. An insensitive asshole who needs to learn to think before he speaks when it comes to Dan, especially if I actually want to have a friendship with the guy eventually. I swallow thickly and look away from his eyes in shame. I know that I'll have to apology to him, now or later, but he makes it hard to apology when he gets that look in his eyes. It almost makes them look… red.
"And how would you know," Danny's voice is laced with an icy tone, "It's not like you've made an effort to get to know me or see anything more than three inches in front of yourself. Not that I blame you. It must be pretty hard to see with your nose up in the air like some sort of know it all ass who refuses to acknowledge anyone else's side."
And he's bringing this all back to the ghost argument. I should have seen that coming. Suddenly I feel slightly less guilty than I did a second ago. But it's still there, lingering beneath the surface. Taking a deep breath, I try to calm my nerves so I can apologize. But before I can speak again, Danny cuts me off with a small wave of his hand as he glances behind me briefly. Whatever he's staring at seems to have an effect on him. His stance relaxes and his expression softens before he turns back to me, putting his hand out for some sort of hand shake.
I take his hand and I find myself being put in some sort of bro hug as he bumps chests with me, patting my back with his free hand,
"Hiro is right behind us and he doesn't seem to like the way we're talking so I'm going to cut it short," Danny whispers into my ear.
Oh. Hiro… Hiro heard all of that? He must think I'm terribly for saying that to Danny. I know for Hiro depression is an uncomfortable topic. I think that, like myself, he's gone through it in his own ways too. Just like whenever our parents are brought up, he'll clam up and get uncomfortable. Though judging from how Danny talked, I think he's met Hiro before. They… They must be on pretty good terms if he doesn't want Hiro to get upset….
I swallow thickly and return the gesture, patting Danny on the back as I whisper into his ear,
"Thank you… And I'm… I'm sorry for being an asshat."
To my surprise, Danny relaxes completely as he lets me go in favor for laughing, a large grin spreading across his face. I guess he's taking my apology a lot better than I thought he would. There's no gloating. No oh Tadashi's finally opening up his eyes huh? No sort of banter… Hiro's gotten close enough to us now that I can see him from the corner of my eyes, though he's still a bit away from us, watching us warily.
"Apology accepted, don't worry about it. But don't think this doesn't mean that we won't be having a little talk about ghosts later," Danny winks at me before turning toward my little brother, "Hiro, how's my favorite little evil mastermind?!"
I watch a bit stunned, almost melancholic, as Hiro's demeanor changes. He practically bounces over to us with a grin stretched on his face as he greets Danny with a fist bump followed by an explosion. Hiro gets along with a lot of people, but this… This is as if they are as thick as thieves, like brothers, like Hiro and myself. It's rare for Hiro to get that deep of a connection with anyone but me…. Something about the fact that Hiro and Danny get along so well is almost...relieving. Like I want Hiro to 'approve' of him, like I want them to get along….
I shake my head slightly, getting all those confusing thoughts out of my head before I greet Hiro myself with a small smirk,
"Evil mastermind?"
Hiro looks a bit sheepish, a small blush creeping on his cheeks as he looks away. Danny is still laughing as he ruffles Hiro's hair.
"Yep," Danny answers my question, "You have one smart brother here, Tadashi- a genius even."
The praise for Hiro causes my chest to puff up with pride. An easy grin makes its way to my face as Hiro seems to get a bit more flustered at all at the attention.
"That's Hiro for you," I agree, "He's an absolute genius with robotics. Already graduating igh school and everything."
Danny nods a bit in agreement, or as if he already knows this information. Which he probably does. If he's been here before then I have no doubts that Aunt Cass has already told him all about Hiro's achievements….
"Pft., I know I'm smart, but this is ridiculous," Hiro tries to brush off all the praises, but it doesn't really work as Danny and I just laugh at him.
It's not long before the three of us are talking, with Hiro and I going back and forth between working and speaking to Danny as he sits at the counter. Eventually Danny even grabs an extra apron from the back and helps out. It surprises me a bit that he's so willing to work without pay just to help us out. But he doesn't seem to mind as he keeps insisting that he's always happy to help out. We're all busying ourselves around the cafe, laughing at each other, cracking jokes, and as I glance at Danny from the corner of my eyes.
He's smiling softly at one of the older customers, gently handing them the cup,
"Just be careful," he speaks gently and carefully, "it get pretty hot."
The older lady, one of the regulars here since I remember seeing her before, smiles at him fondly as she laughs a bit.
"Oh boy, I didn't know that Cass got a new waiter here. And such a handsome one at that."
She teasingly hits him on the arm, causing him to flush as he stutters over the his words. His face is about as red as one of Aunt Cass' peppers as he scratches the back of his neck sheepishly.
Seeing him like that, with such a flustered look on his face, causes a small flutter in my chest as my heart speeds up. He looks…. Cute. Not that he isn't already cute… I can feel my face heat up a bit as I make eye contact with Danny. His eyes lock into mine with an intensity. I could lose myself in those hypnotizing eyes. Eyes that seem to say that's he's seen everything there is to see, but he's still alive. He's still here. He's…. He's… I swallow thickly and quickly look away, barely even able to mutter a quick sorry under my breath. I can see him looking away from me with a reddened face as well. I wonder if he's just embarrassed because of the older lady or because of me?
My heart is practically skipping at that thought. What… What is this? I clutch at my chest a bit, scratching absently at it as I bite at my lip…. I… I think I'm actually developing feelings for Danny. I want to just get to know him. Be with him. Laugh with him. A part of me has always been attracted to him- he's handsome, charming, kind, considerate, the list goes on. But actually admitting is an entirely different thing.
I can see Hiro looking at me almost knowingly, a small you like him don't you grin on his cheeky little face as he passes me, nudging me playfully as he whispers,
"I wondered when you would figure it out."
But he's already onto the next task before I can give him a reply. Damn it Hiro. How can my little brother know before I do? Is it that obvious? Does Danny know? Is that why he's so nice today? My heart is just going faster and faster as I try to calm myself.
I barely even realize that Danny is saying his goodbyes to Hiro and I as he ditches the apron and heads out, declaring that he had a good time with all of us. With him gone, I feel a bit of a sinking feeling.
Today was a lot of fun…. And I know that tomorrow, we'll be right back to our little argument about ghosts…. Shit.
