Disclaimer: Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

Author: Hi! I was originally going to save this chapter until later, but then I realized… by the time I'm finished with Double D's part, everybody will have forgotten the basic plot. So… I'm posting the last chapter featuring Eddy up right now. This chapter is extra long, so enjoy!

Chapter Fifteen- This Superb Procession

AKA: The McRich Parade is Here!

The rain was green. Eddy looked around him in surprise. Down, all the rain fell- but it wasn't rain at all- it was money!

"I'm RICH! I'm RICH!" Eddy jumped around in the growing pile of money. He grabbed a bill and watched in awe as it transformed into a jawbreaker right in front of his eyes. He instantly put it in his mouth, enjoying the taste… he jumped for joy as the other bills became jawbreakers, too. Yes!

"Eddy!"

Who dared to disturb Eddy? Eddy ignored the voice.

"EDDY!"

That annoying voice again! Who was it? Who the heck did that irritating voice belong too?

"WAKE UP, EDDY, WAKE UP! EDDY!"

The jawbreakers faded away. Eddy's eyes widened in horror as it all disappeared… He opened his eyes and looked around. He was starving, so hungry that he could eat twenty jawbreakers in one setting…

Suddenly, he remembered where he was. He sat up quickly. "Kevin, what day is it?"

"I don't know, but I thought I heard some people say today was the parade!"

Ah, yes, the McRich Homeless People Charity Parade. The parade Eddy was going to be assassinated at. Eddy almost started to panic, but then he saw something-

One of Kevin's arm cuffs was loose. "Kevin- your arm! You can escape!"

Kevin looked surprised, but then yanked his arm. It was free of the cuff; instantly, Kevin reached over to the desk. "Is the remote on the desk?"

"Yes!" Eddy said. "Just a little to the right- You've got it!"

Kevin pressed one of the buttons randomly, and was freed. He stood up and started pressing some other buttons, but none of them released Eddy. Suddenly, they heard Lady Allith's voice from the hallway. "Give me the serum," she said.

"Eddy- I can't get you out of here in time- Where's the window? I've got to get out of here, get help-"

His stomach was sinking. Eddy paused, than told him that the windows were right above his head. Kevin reached up, and luckily was able to push the window open. "Wait- we're on the first floor, right?" Eddy asked.

"Yes!" Kevin said as he slipped out the window. Eddy heard him running, but was looking at the door-

The door opened slowly, agonizingly slowly. Eddy pulled his arms and legs upward, but none of the cuffs were loose. Lady Allith entered the room, surrounded by two guards. "It's so upsetting you didn't get a chance to practice your lines for the parade recently, Eddy, but don't worry- I've got the script right here."

"What makes you think I'll read it?"

"This," Lady Allith responded, holding out a vial with a green liquid in it. "An invention created under your name, Eddy…. Quite a marvelous invention, in deed. Miraculous, even, some would say."

Eddy struggled to move his arm, but it was a useless attempt; the cuffs were far too strong and left little room for movement. Lady Allith injected the serum into his arm, but to Eddy's relief he did not fall asleep.

"Stop struggling," Lady Allith commanded.

To his horror, he stopped. No! He told his arm to move, but it didn't budge. NO way! "What's going on?"

He looked up to see Lady Allith pressing a button on the remote. To his surprise, the cuffs holding him retreated. He instantly started running for the door-

"Stop running," Lady Allith yelled. He stopped, his feet frozen in place. Eddy was about to yell out, but then Allith said, "Be quiet."

No sound. Eddy could not scream or yell or even whisper. Whatever that stuff was, it was allowing Lady Allith to control him! He silently cursed every vile word he knew. If I make it out of this… he thought angrily.

"Smile!" A large grin formed upon Eddy's face at the command. "Put on this outfit. We will be waiting outside. Do not yell. Do not run away. Do not try to escape."

Lady Allith tossed him a ridiculous suit that had many rips and wholes in it, and then she and her guards left the room. The suit smelled badly, too- like it belonged to a hobo. Eddy reluctantly put on the outfit, still wearing that ridiculous grin. "I am finished, Lady Allith," he said politely and quietly.

"Good," Lady Allith said, coming back in. She handed him a script with words on it. "Practice this- it is your speech. Follow us as you practice."

Eddy started rehearsing the words out loud. It was quite obviously not written by Eddy; it sounded more like it was written by Double D, (although Double D did not exist in this universe), and Eddy had trouble pronouncing the words. Lady Allith angrily corrected him each time he messed up. Eddy would then correct himself with a polite nod. "Where were you when I taught you these words?" Lady Allith yelled when he messed up for the twentieth time.

Fortunately, Eddy was still able to control whether or not her could speak. He didn't have to respond to her, but only because Lady Allith hadn't told him to respond.

Lady Allith sighed and rolled her eyes. Then she made some sort of weird signal with her hands, as if though she were trying to fly. "Eddy, when you are on the float and I make that signal, you will toss out the bundles of cash to all the people that look homeless."

Eddy nodded. They entered what looked like a gigantic garage. In the middle of it stood a float, which looked like a gigantic twenty dollar bill. Well, it almost looked like a twenty dollar bill; in the center there was a small building, and on top of that was a sound system, including a microphone. At Allith's command, he stood on the float, and walked in front of the building. His cheeks hurt; he had been smiling for far too long.

The door to the garage opened, and the float floated outside, Eddy smiling atop it. Outside of the garage were many other floats, but none of them were moving. Some names were familiar to Eddy- popular stores and fast food chains- and some had his name on it. One particular float attracted his attention: The McRich Theme Park float, which had an actual roller coaster on it. Twenty kids were lined up, waiting to ride the roller coaster.

Suddenly, the float started moving toward the front of the parade. It stopped right in front of a float from the McRich Jawbreaker Factory. Eddy silently wished that he was in his own universe, scheming to get some quarters… maybe, for once, he'd be lucky and actually get a jawbreaker….

Lady Allith waved at him, smiling very politely, as she stepped aboard the float. She pulled a high-tech cell phone out of her pocket and dialed a number. "Lee, daughter, where are you? … Well, the parade is starting soon, please hurry!"

Allith closed the cell phone and turned to Eddy. "When this parade starts, you will enter this building. When I give the command, you will walk up the stairs to the top of the building. You will say this speech into the microphone, giving the proper facial expressions. You will not run away or cry for help."

Eddy nodded. Suddenly, a limousine pulled up next to the float, and Lee jumped out, dressed in a bunch of dirty robes similar to Eddy's. "Hey, Eddy!" she said happily, running up to the float.

"Lee, people of our status do not run," Allith said in a sickeningly sweet tone. Lee nodded, though she rolled her eyes. She stepped gracefully onto the float, bouncing up to Eddy.

With a jump, the float started moving. Allith rushed the two into the building, which was almost empty, except for a man who sat at a computer. Eddy assumed he was controlling the float's movements. Was he in on the plan? In the other corner of the room was a large screen showing the outside, and an elegant staircase upstairs. To the side stood a couple of large, stuffed sacks with giant $ signs on them.

Lee chatted eagerly with him, and Eddy continued to nod politely. "You're nervous, aren't you?" Lee asked, her voice showing concern.

Eddy smiled and nodded. Nervous doesn't even describe it, Kanker.

The parade had arrived in a city, where many eager citizens cried out at the sight of the float. Eddy spotted ten news vans and five news helicopters. Lady Allith suddenly called out, "It's time to start your speech!"

Lee grabbed one of the bags of cash, handing it to Eddy. Eddy held it and walked up the stairs, terrified. He stepped up to the microphone, lightly putting the bag on the floor. Lee followed quickly. Eddy looked to the bottom of the float and saw Allith staring expectantly at him. "Welcome," he cried enthusiastically into the microphone, "to the McRich Homeless People Charity Parade!"

Everyone cheered. Eddy noticed that most of the people were looking at the bag of cash next to his feet. Smiling grandly, but stumbling over the hard words, Eddy said, "As is tradition of this su-superb pr-procession, I will start this spec…spectacle by tossing these bags of current- er, currency into the audience, towards those that seem to lack a home. Everyone deserves a home!"

Another giant cheer filled the air. Eddy noticed that Allith was waving her hands, as if she was trying to fly. It's the signal, Eddy thought. Terror swept him; in about a half an hour, he'd be dead! NO!

He grabbed a sack of money, watching as Lee did the same. Enthusiastically, Lee threw a bundle of cash toward a particularly filthy man. Eddy grabbed a bundle of dollars….

His eyes looked at the dollar bills. The smell of money filled his nose; looking closer at the thick bundle, he saw that all of the bills were hundred dollar bills. He was probably holding a few thousand dollars in his hands! Oh, the jawbreakers he could buy with that!

Eddy watched, in terror, as his hand lifted it into the air, throwing it… throwing the cash… the jawbreakers… towards a random woman in the audience. The woman jumped up and down happily. M… my money…. Eddy thought, looking wide-eyed at the woman. His hand reached into the bag, throwing another couple thousand out in the audience. "No," he whispered.

Lee turned to him. "You said something?" she whispered.

Eddy looked at his hand, horror struck. "Lee, Allith…"

"What about her?" Lee asked, noticing the terror in his voice. "What's wrong, Eddy?"

"Allith is going to kill us," Eddy whispered. "It's part of some assassination plan."

"HEY!" some guy in the audience yelled. "WHY'D YOU STOP THROWING MONEY? MORE MONEY!"

Lee turned to Eddy. "I know, Kevin told me…. I knew Allith was going to use that vile on you, and I was waiting for it to wear off. The twins are here, and they know too."

"THROW MORE MONEY!" another man in the crowd howled.

"Where?" Eddy asked, too scared to yell at her for not trying to stop him earlier. Lee pointed to the side of the float, were Irene and Ilene stood. "Okay, what am I supposed to do?"

"MONEY! MONEY!" A large group of people were chanting.

"Jump," Lee explained.

Eddy turned around quickly, staring at Lee. "Are you crazy?"

"JUMP!" Lee screamed, pushing Eddy off the float.

The audience stopped chanting and started screaming. Eddy, too, started screaming, watching his life pass before his eyes:

His parents taking him home from the hospital, his older brother stealing his toys, his first scam (and the first time he was even beaten up by Kevin), meeting Ed, meeting Double D, meeting the Kanker sisters (oh, what an unpleasant memory), his brother leaving, starting junior high, meeting the Fairixie one boring summer day….

But, to his relief, instead of smashing his skull on the ground, he landed on the twins. "Irene! Ilene!" he cried, getting off of the two. "Thank you!" (Yes, he did say thank you.)

"You're heavy," one of the twins said. At the same time, the other said, "You're welcome."

"Where's Lee?" Eddy asked, looking around. He looked just in time to see Lee jump off the other side of the float and into Kevin's arms.

A large murmur was filling the audience. Some people were yelling out random questions. However, one voice cut through the audience: Lady Allith's. "GET THEM!"

"RUN!" Kevin yelled, and so the four did, running for their lives. They just managed to stay away from the Eddy McRich Assassination Plot members.

However, one member- an ugly old man that Eddy did not recognize- jumped in front of them, grabbing a hold of Lee's arm. "Over here, I've got the-"

The man never had a chance to finish his sentence. Lee, apparently, had some things in common with the Lee from Eddy's universe. She managed to practically knock them man out with one swift kick. The man dropped her and they started running even faster.

Eddy was running out of breath. He saw a closed store and ducked into the alleyway next to it. He was quickly followed by Lee, Ilene, Irene and Kevin. "Come on, let's hide in this store," Eddy said, indicating an employees-only door next to him.

"Is it locked?" Irene asked.

He rolled his eyes. "Who wouldn't lock their door-" Eddy was cut short, however, when he tried the handle and the door opened without a problem.

"Why would they lock the door?" Kevin asked as he entered the building, grabbing a hold of the wall to make sure he wouldn't trip. "The crime rate is only three percent."

"Oh," Eddy said, shocked.

"Didn't you know that?" Lee asked, her voice concerned but also suspicious.

After all five entered the closed store- which looked more like a restaurant now that they were inside- Ilene announced, "I'm going to call the police."

Ilene left the room in search of a phone. Irene, Kevin, Lee and Eddy sat at a table in the back, trying to avoid being seen by any EMAP members.

"How did you know about the assassination plan?" Irene asked suddenly, if just to break the silence.

"Yeah… how did you know?" Lee asked, her eyes narrowing.

Eddy sighed. He started to explain his story- minus the part, of course, about him being from another universe- finally getting to the part where he was in the basement. Ilene had rejoined them by then, saying that the police would arrive soon.

Kevin interrupted him. "So that was you in the basement!"

"Y-Yeah," Eddy said quietly.

"Why didn't you say something? I could have helped you get out of that building," Kevin cried.

Eddy quickly thought up an excuse. "Well, I'd just found out someone was going to assassinate me. When I heard someone coming down the stairs, Kevin, I was way too terrified to move-"

A blinding flash of white light filled the room.