F.Y.I. I made that adjustment to chapter 17, that I said I would.


Fallen Pine Trees

Chapter 19: Retelling of the Past (Part 2)

For like the billionth time that day the gang was utterly shocked. But because he knew that this was going to happen, future Mason gave them a minute to take in what he'd just said, then returned to where he'd left off.

"Yeah, it shocked us all too upon discovering this. Though surprisingly, Grunkle Stan seemed to take it better than most who discover that an evil demon wants to take over their body. He used this knowledge to come up with a plan to defeat Bill. The plan was for him to meet with Bill at Dusk 2 Dawn store in private, (though we'd all be there in disguise), offer him his body in exchange for cash. Once Bill was inside Grunkle Stan's body, McGucket would fire the Memory Gun on him at full power, destroying the one-eyed demon once and for all.

Unfortunately, McGucket theorized that there may be a serious risk to the plan: using the gun at full power could not only wipe away all of a person's memories but also their soul, essentially killing the host body in the process. To make matters worse, the gun could only work on spirits/demons that were inside an actual body, nor would firing the gun at any level less than its highest could destroy Bill.

In the end, everyone, (especially me, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy), agreed to save that plan as a last, extremely, desperate, no other choice option.

Instead, McGucket proposed that we use something called the Zodiac to take down Bill. He explained how the Zodiac was an ancient circle comprised of ten symbols shaped like a pair of sunglasses, question mark, a bag of opened ice, pine tree, a pentagram with an eye in the center, a six-fingered hand, llama, shooting star, heart with a stitch in the middle, and Pac-Man; these symbols encompass an image of what strongly resembles Bill. For it to work, the Zodiac requires ten people, each representing one of ten symbols to stand atop the one they match while holding hands, which causes the wheel to activate. McGucket had learned about this thing years ago but never gave it much interest till after he began to regain his memories the year before Bill's invasion. McGucket believed that if we were to form the Zodiac then it would destroy Bill, send his demon minions back to the second dimension, and end Wierdmageddon once and for all. Seeing as how there were no better options available, everyone voted to for the Zodiac.

After McGucket and I analyzed the Zodiac from images found within the second journal, we determined who represented which symbol:

Sheriff Bulbs represented the sunglasses

Soos was the question mark due to having one on his shirt

Wendy represented the bag of ice because she always appears to be chill

I represented the pine tree because of my hat, obviously

McGucket was the six-fingered hand since his journals had that same symbol on them, (he did this to signify how his research was unique)

Pacifica represented the llama since they were her favourite animal, and because I gave her a neckless with a gold llama on it for Christmas

Mabel was the shooting star as her favourite sweater contained one

And Grunkle Stan was Pac-Man since he had a symbol shaped like the character on his fez

Then we came across a problem: true we'd managed to find matches for the remaining two symbols, the pentagram with an eye and the stitched heart. But the problem was how these matches were Robbie, (who represented the stitched heart), and Gideon Gleeful, (who was the pentagram), two people who were both unavailable since the former had been captured at the invasions beginning and was now one of the many stone figures comprising Bill's throne; while the latter served the demon we were trying to destroy, (and would probably not turn against his master).

Upon realizing this, everyone thought we were screwed, then Grunkle Stan came up with a plan to get Gideon to help us, and save Robbie. You see, Grunkle pointed out how we didn't need Gideon to cooperate to invoke the Zodiac, we just needed to capture and force him onto his Zodiac symbol long enough to defeat Bill. Plus if we were to capture Gideon, we could force him to reveal to us how to free Robbie, (along with the rest of Bill's prisoners), from Bill's throne. Everyone was all for this plan, however, there was still the matter of how we were going to break into the Fearamid, a giant, floating pyramid that served as Bill's headquarters during Wierdmageddon and the location of his throne? I mean none of us knew how to fly, and McGucket didn't have the resources needed to build more jetpacks, much less human-sized ones."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second future dude," Soos interrupted. "Are you saying that McGucket had already made jetpacks?"

"Yep. For his raccoon spies. How do you think those little critters managed to infiltrate the Fearamid? I mean it floats high in the sky," future Mason explained.

"Anyway, on top of all that," future Mason continued, "we also had to figure out how we were going to get past all of Bill's forces. I mean we all knew that the Fearamid would be swarming with Bill's followers, (both humans and demons), and would most likely have to means to prevent a break-in. Fortunately, once again, Grunkle Stan came up with a surprisingly brilliant idea to use all the dinosaurs hidden in the abandoned mines to attack Bill's forces while we infiltrated the Fearamid, rescue everyone, activate Zodiac, allowing us to finally end Wierdmageddon. Everyone was all for it though there was still the question as to how we were going to get into Bill's pyramid? That's when I came up with the idea to turn the Mystery Shack, (since it was the only thing resistant to Bill's powers), into a mobile base that could not only fight against Bill's forces but also launch us into the Fearamid, (with a giant cannon). Using McGucket's mechanical brilliance, and Soos's creative thinking, the Gravity Rangers were able to reform the Mystery Shack into the Mystery-Tron, a giant fighting robot.

Once the Mystery-Tron was ready, and our dinosaur army was freed and tamed, the Gravity Rangers attacked. The battle was difficult, especially when Bill, (in a giant form), joined the fight, but overall our forces held up. And when the Mystery-Tron squared off against Bill, we kicked his butt. Sure the Mystery-Tron took some damage, but once we temporarily blinded Bill, (by a device of my own I creation), the demon was forced to retreat to his private courters to heal himself.

With their leader temporarily out, the rest of the 'Insane Empire', (as we'd started calling them by), were in retreat, well all except for Gideon, and his two best prisoner buddies, (Ghost-Eyes and Killbone), who'd been placed in charge of the Fearamid's security. To our fortune, we'd already been informed of this beforehand thanks to our raccoon intelligence network. This prevented us from capturing Gideon before the attack but made things less risky on our end since Bill was now too occupied with his recovery to take notice of his little lieutenants' disappearance.

So after the majority of the Insane Empire had retreated, a team comprised of everyone linked to the Zodiac infiltrated Fearamid and made our way to the throne room. Once there we encountered Gideon and his henchmen, the latter of whom were immediately overpowered by Chutzpar and Bats, (who'd also joined the task force for that exact purpose), while the former was wrapped in chains. Gideon then told us that by pulling the load-bearing human for Bill's throne, Mayor Tyler-"

"Wait, wait. Hold on a second dude," Soos interrupted. "Tyler's the mayor of Gravity Falls? What happened to Befufftlefumpter?"

"He died during spring break before Weirdmageddon occurred. And to make a long story short, Tyler won the mayoral election," future Mason explained before continuing. "Now as I was saying, according to Gideon, by pulling Tyler out of the throne, the rest of it would collapse and turn everyone back to their normal selves, including Robbie. Surprisingly, this turned out to be true, but given what was at stake, I doubt Gideon would lie."

"So how'd you get that little creep to talk?" Wendy asked curiously.

"Oh, Mr. Pines threatened to shave off all of the kids' hair and then draw a butt where it used to be with a permanent marker," older Soos answered.

"Nice," Wendy complimented.

"You know," Soos began to say, looking directly at future Mason, "it sounds like you and Mabel must have worked together a lot during this near-apocalyptic event. Bet this must've helped med your sibling bond a bit right, right?"

"Augh SOOS!" Future Mason shouted. "Have forgotten what I told you back at my place? Mabel and I hate each other. True we worked together during Wierdmageddon, but that doesn't' mean we came to hate each other any less. That catastrophe caused us to sever all ties between one another completely This is the first time we've even sat together in a room for nineteen years."

"But you must've gotten along a little bit right?"

"No Soos, they didn't," older Wendy answered. "Throughout our time in the Gravity Rangers, Dipper and Mabel argued constantly, always disagreeing about everything. It was pretty annoying for the rest of us, (even Pacifica got sick of it). It got to the point where we had to assign them completely separate tasks just to keep them from even giving one anther deathly glares."

"Okay, okay, I get it. Mabel and I hate each other," stated Mason. "Now could someone please tell me WHAT THE HELL DID MABEL DO TO GET GRUNKLE STAN FUCKING KILLED?!"

"Well," future Mason explained, "before the attack on the Fearamid, (when we were assigning everyone tasks), Mabel offered to be the one to draw the Zodiac on the ground when we were ready to activate it, which Pacifica and I were totally against. However, after an hours' worth of begging, McGucket and Grunkle Stan, (who were the elected leaders of the Gravity Rangers), agreed to let her do this and even gave her a picture of the Zodiac so that she could practice beforehand. Of course, when Mabel drew the Zodiac during the mission, she did it in her own, silly, unprofessional way with all the symbols having goofy faces, hearts and others images that were not on the original design. Mabel claimed that it would still work, but when we attempted to perform the ritual, it didn't. As an argument broke out over Mabel's failure, Bill reappeared, fully rejuvenated and ready for round two.

Before anyone could do anything, the insane demon went straight into Grunkle Stan's body, attempting to take it for his own. Though Grunkle Stan, (as we all know), was not the type of person who would go down without a fight. He gave it everything he got, but it soon became clear to everyone that Grunkle Stan did not possess the level of skill that Bill had in spiritual combat needed to win; even Grunkle Stan began to realize this. When he realized that he couldn't win, Grunkle Stan ordered us to fire the memory gun, (which I'd reluctantly brought with me just in case), on him at full power.

It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my entire life. Sadly, however, I had no other choice. If I didn't fire now before Bill gained full control, then all life would be wiped out, while our dimension would be transformed into the sickest, twisted, horrifying thing ever. Plus even if Stan survived Bill's take over then he'd probably spend eternity as the latter's slave, a fate far worse than death.

So, unfortunately, I ended up firing the memory gun on Grunkle Stanford Pines at full power, the results proving to be everything we'd expected, good and bad. Bill, unable to withstand the ray gun's effects, perished, causing all of his demon minions to be sucked back into the second dimension, with everything that Bill had created, (including the Fearamid), to disappear, allowing Gravity Falls to return to normal, (well what you would call normal in that town anyway), ending Weirdmageddon. As for Grunkle Stan's fate, well McGucket's on what would happen to a human should it be hit by the gun at its highest level proved one-hundred percent accurate; with Grunkle Stan's soul vanishing from exitance forever, leaving behind a scorched, stone shell the man, which turned to ashes when the town reverted to its old self.

Overall, Weirdmageddon became known as the biggest catastrophe in world history as it almost led to the extinction of the entire human race, (along with every other species in the universe). All humans affiliated with the Insane Empire were charged with high treason against Earth itself and were executed, including Ivan, (who'd tried and failed to stop me from destroying Bill), and Gideon. But even getting rid of those traitors could not heal the scars left by the events of Weirdmageddon."


Stay tuned for the next chapter were the gangs' future selves will tell their younger versions of what happened after Weirdmageddon.

Now just to clarify, in my alternate version of Gravity Falls, The Stanchurain Candidate does happen, with some changes being that Ford isn't in it, (as you all probably know), and it happens during the spring break following the Pines Twins first summer in Gravity Falls.