Disclaimer: Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….
Author: I'm sorry that I ended last chapter with a cliffhanger… But don't worry, I will resolve Eddy and Double D's plotlines! But first I have to get through Ed's. Now on with the story!
I noticed that my spelling of Johnny's name differed from the official way of spelling his name. I won't be changing it now, but in future fanfics I will hopefully remember the correct spelling…
Chapter Twenty- Escape from the Invaded Castle
Standing where the wall once stood was a fire-breathing dragon with orange skin and yellow eyes. Sitting on top of him in all her "glorious" horror was Lee-der-dum. A smile crossed her lips (or at least something close to a smile, considering how Lee's shiny fangs stuck out).
"Well, lookie here… it seems Ed is still alive. But not for long! Inferno, attack!"
The dragon-Inferno- took a deep breath. Ed's eyes widened- dragons were much scarier in real life, especially when one was about to burn you to a crisp!
Everything went into slow motion, just like in a movie. Ed stared wide-eyed as the dragon exhaled, sending bright red flames agonizingly slowly towards the duo. Things were going slowly… yet he was frozen, again, just like the helpless hero of an action or horror movie….
King Johnny Plankstar recreated his shield. It formed a solid dome, surrounding them from all directions. Ed took note of its greenish color. The shield looked like it was made out of leaves… leaves and vines held together with a mystical green energy. Then he realized the reason why the shield looked like it was made out of glowing plants was because it was made out of glowing plants.
Now, it didn't take a genius to figure out what was wrong with this scenario. Johnny was protecting them from fire… by surrounding them with tinder. Ed screamed, but he was still frozen; he couldn't run away. Johnny turned his head around. "Please stop screaming, Ed! I can't focus!"
The fire finally reached the shield; and just as Ed had predicted (he was right again!), the shield burst aflame. Ed screamed, again. King Johnny silently cursed the Fairixie for sending such an inexperienced, panicky kid to replace his brave and resilient leader.
"Ed, don't panic, okay!"
This made Ed scream even louder. However, Johnny could hardly hear him over the crackling flames. He was glad for this; how could someone have such an annoying yell? It was almost as bad as Sarah's was… or rather, had been.
"Ed," he tried to explain. The fire was closing in around them, breaking his concentration; it was going to be hard to calm the boy down. "I have a guest! He'll help us! Have you ever heard of-"
He was cut off by an earsplitting scream. It was far more painful and annoying sounding than Ed's; however, this time Johnny was filled with joy. The only creature that could make such a horrible noise was a horribly wounded dragon, and Ed realized this, too. Inferno-the-dragon had been hit!
Lee-der-dum cursed loudly.
"That would be him," King Johnny said brightly. "Kevin is the only one-"
"Kevin?" Ed cried. Oh great. Another Kanker ally, probably. Now he had to fight off all his worst fears at once. It had been a great adventure so far, but Ed was suddenly wishing that he wasn't the star of this "movie" anymore.
"AHHHHHHH! My eyes! You JERK! I'll get you for this Kevin!" Lee-der-dum wailed in pain. They heard the dragon take flight… and head away from them.
Thank goodness, King Johnny sighed.
It was only Ed that reminded him of the predicament they were in: "Fire bad for Ed!"
The dome surrounding them had shrunken considerably; it was (obviously) not designed to fight off a fire attack. The fire was uncomfortably close to them now- enough to drive a normal Space Ranger mad. "Is my robe on fire?" King Johnny asked, scrunching up his nose. Ed nodded, horrified.
Suddenly, from outside the fire-bubble, Ed heard someone yell, "Are you okay?"
"Kevin!" Ed yelled, again horrified.
Johnny simply blinked (out of confusion; why was Ed scared of Kevin?) before saying, "Yes, we're fine. A little warm but fine… for now! Now if you would care to get us out?"
"Sure!"
Ed blinked; in the second it took for him to close his eyes, the heat disappeared. Instead, he was soaked by freezing cold water. What the?! "You turned fire into water?" Ed said excitedly, his eyes opening impossibly wide.
Kevin gave him an odd look. "Er, no. I put out the fire with water… Sir."
Ed stared at the parallel Kevin. He would never imagine the Kevin from his universe wearing such an outfit. It was almost a typical Space Ranger outfit, except the helmet was shaped vaguely like a hat. The material was bright blue (a color Kevin never wore at home), and his boots ended in flippers, as if though he lived on a planet made completely of water. He looked rather ridiculous.
King Johnny pulled him to the side for a moment. "That would be the guest I was talking about," he whispered. "Space Ranger Kevin, an ambassador from the planet Aquatics… ranked 654. His magic is based off of water and poison."
Ed remembered reading about element-based magic in a comic book. Typically, people that used water-based magic were sweet, artistic, graceful, and elegant. By contrast, only evil monsters used poisonous elements. "Wait!" he shouted. "KEVIN is a Water Elemental? And he's a Space Ranger?" Another word flickered to mind. "And he's an ambassador?" Weren't ambassadors typically… patient enough not to beat one up at the drop of a hat?
"Not so loud!" Johnny hissed, wincing.
Kevin gave Ed a blank look. "Of course I use water magic, but I'm certainly not an Elemental," he scowled. "You should know that. You were the one that taught me how to use magic. Why didn't you use your own water magic to douse that shield? You dork."
For a moment there, Ed thought that perhaps this Kevin wasn't related to the Kevin from his universe at all. Just a random fellow named Kevin… But then he heard that overused phrase and he knew that they were, indeed, parallels.
But his mind quickly changed tracks when he remembered something Kevin had said. "Wait! I have water powers? Cool!"
Kevin's blank look quickly turned into a suspicious stare. King Johnny was prepared to make something up (or possibly tell him the truth; Ed would probably reveal it was a lie by mistake), but at that moment the room started to fill with people. Various Plan-kean Space Rangers arrived to make sure their king was okay. (He was fine, though he'd have to find a new robe; it was scorched in the fire.) TargonTroi, Saraline and Skuashi arrived to make sure that Ed was not dead.
When they made sure he wasn't (even going as far as to ask if the Kankers had cast a vampirism spell on him), they revealed the next plan of action.
"We need to get out of this palace," Skuashi squeaked.
Ed blinked. "Why? Aren't the Kankers gone from it now?"
"No!" TargonTroi shook his head. "They've just left this particular part. There are thousands of Kanker Alliance soldiers on this planet, and we need to organize the Space Rangers to stop them!"
"Right," Kevin, who was listening in on the conversation, said.
With that, the group got into an appropriate arrangement. The various Plan-kean Space Rangers stood at front, preparing their plant-based magic. Kevin and Saraline made up the next row. Ed, shaking horribly, and Johnny, standing nobly, stood behind the two. And finally, Skuashi and TargonTroi stood behind them. That way, should anyone attack the two nobles (Ed-the-ruler-of-the-universe or King Johnny), they would be protected from front and back.
It turned out that this arrangement was a good one. The very second they stepped out of the simulation room, a group of Ishees attacked them from behind. Twenty daggers of ice materialized out of nowhere, flying towards the group at impossibly high speeds. Ironically, things seemed to be on "fast forward" mode, where only minutes before, for Ed at least, they had been "slowed down."
Ed turned around to watch TargonTroi and Skuashi's response to the approaching threat. Skuashi, despite looking pretty much like a penguin, was very talented using a Blaster. In a single motion, ten of the ice daggers were blasted out of the air and turned into puddles of liquid. TargonTroi took care of the other ten; Ed was surprised to see his magic was fire-based. He angrily melted the daggers.
The two prepared more attacks, this time to aim at the Ishees themselves, but at that point Johnny turned Ed around. "You've got to look forward or you might trip… and that could be fatal."
"I think he knows that, King Johnny," Kevin scoffed, though he himself didn't believe the statement. Something was clearly wrong with Ed; was it even Ed at all?
He didn't have time to ponder the statement or let his suspicions develop, though. Fifty five Vampiras, an entirely female species that shared many qualities with vampires (except they fed off of plant life, not people) charged towards them.
"What?" Saraline gasped. "This can't be! The Vampiras are one of the most peaceful species in the galaxy!"
Though the fact that the vampires had turned into bats and were now clawing at the Plan-kean Space Rangers' eyes said otherwise….
Everyone prepared their magic at once. King Johnny sent out colorful purple vines that surrounded and trapped many of the Vampira bats. They transformed back into their human form, but before they could pray off of the vine (once voted the best-tasting food on the Vampira home planet), Kevin summoned a giant wave of deep purple water. Poisoned water.
King Johnny retracted the vines just in time to avoid having them be melted by the poisonous liquid. The Vampira, though, did not have enough time to leave.
The many Plan-kean Rangers had managed to get a hold of themselves; they, too, used various forms of plant-based magic to keep the other Vampira at bay. Bright balls of energy were surrounding Saraline; Ed noticed that these balls of energy were changing shape… transforming… into steak.
Yes, steak. No, not stakes; not the cross-shaped pieces of wood you put in the ground. Steak, as in the food that people ate. Ed almost laughed; that was pretty cool.
Apparently, steaks were the Vampira's natural weakness; as soon as the raw, stinky meat touched their flesh, they dissolved, letting out horrible screams. Ed suddenly wished he could help out in the battle, but he had dropped his weapons and he didn't even know the basics of magic.
"Help us, Ed! What are you doing?" Kevin suddenly yelled. He prepared another wave of poisonous water as another wave of Vampira charged at them.
Blasts of light appeared from behind Ed; apparently, there were no more threats from behind. Skuashi and TargonTroi could focus on the wave of monster appearing from the front.
He never answered Kevin's question. Kevin scowled.
"Okay, Ed," Skuashi said as the others continued to fight. "There are way more Kanker Alliance soldiers here then we thought. We are going to get reinforcements, but it may not be enough! And we need to tell everyone about the Kanker's attack now before it's too late…"
He fired the Blaster at a stray Vampira, flying towards Ed's head. It fell to the ground with a scream. "Thank you," Ed said, staring nervously at the corpse. Of course, because the entire group of Space Rangers was running as a unit, it quickly disappeared from site, but still Ed stared in its direction nervously…
"No problem!" Skuashi squeaked. "After we gather an army, we're going to head straight to the Kanker's home world and get this sorted out as soon as possible… Hopefully. If we wait to long like we did last time…"
Suddenly, TargonTroi cursed in an alien language. Ed span around to see what had made him so angry. He gasped. "GIANTS!"
The hallway was gigantic. It was at least twenty feet tall and forty feet wide.
The three creatures standing in front of the group were large enough to fill the space. There was no way the group could sneak through.
The full-sized Blasters, which looked ridiculously tiny in their hands, were very modern and high tech. They conflicted highly with the leather robes they wore. It gave them a primitive appearance, despite the fact that Giants were extremely intelligent beings. The GiantCows were the only thing in the universe big enough to supply clothing for the creatures, though. Of course they could kill millions of plants and animals to adorn themselves with more sophisticated clothing, but that would conflict with the statement that "Giants were extremely intelligent."
Each of the Giants held four Blasters. They had no intention of using them to blast creatures. The items were simply too tiny; they made much better Ninja-stars.
The Giants started throwing down the Blasters, and at the speed they were going, it was enough to kill a man. Or so Ed figured when he saw one of the Plan-kean soldiers heads snap off when the Blaster reached him. He almost screamed, but by now had gained some sort of survival instinct; don't attract attention. Screaming is bad.
"Don't just stand there!" King Johnny commanded everyone. "Attack back!"
Ed stared, wide-eyed, as vines, fire, poisonous water, swords (produced by Saraline), and blasts of energy struck one of the giant's legs. The giant screamed, causing the roof to shake severely. In anger, the giant threw all of his blasters at once.
One headed right towards Ed. Suddenly, the crystal on his breastplate started glowing. Miraculously, Ed was able to grab the Blaster without any injuries. "Yeah!"
In celebration, he ran around in miniature circles, randomly shooting the Blaster. It turned out he was shooting at just the right places; he had blinded the Giants, who were now stumbling about. King Johnny grabbed his hand, ending the celebratory run prematurely and forcing him to run with the rest of the group.
They managed to sneak past the blinded, wailing Giants. Finally, they were in the main hall. The main hall was suspiciously free of enemies, but nonetheless the group continued onward.
When they opened the doors, they realized why there weren't any enemies in the palace. All of the Space Rangers on the planet appeared to be in the front courtyard. Each appeared to be fighting four or five Ishees or Vampiras or Spgobons or Giants…. For miles upon miles, all Ed could see was magic being thrown at one another under the massive sun…
King Johnny, though, did not seem worried. Perhaps he was good at hiding stress under a mask of calmness. Ed watched blankly as he started to twirl his Doritorium staff.
"Hey, what are you doing, King Johnny?"
Johnny did not respond immediately. He focused on the staff, which started to glow. Suddenly, it transformed into… a microphone.
"Space Rangers of Plankstar!"
His voice echoed for miles; the battles did not stop, but Ed could see that the Rangers were nonetheless listening closely.
"I am heading to the Space Ranger Headquarters to get reinforcements. Until I return, Priest Knalp will be set in control."
Priest Knalp was fighting nearby. He stopped to nod at the King before returning to battle. Ed noticed that the young man was wearing a mix of Space Ranger armor and priest robes. Odd combo. But he also noticed that Knalp had two red eyes. One was slightly longer horizontally; the other was slightly longer vertically. He looked very familiar, actually…
"Everyone, use the Alpha-Omega move!" King Johnny suddenly said. Behind Ed, he could hear some of the Plan-keans whispering.
Slowly, the battles stopped; the monsters and creatures threw attacks at the Space Rangers, but the attacks continuously missed. Priest Knalp was the first one Ed heard chanting; he was speaking in some sort of ancient tongue. Ed recognized a few of the words. He was saying "Plank" and "Plan-ke" a lot, as if though he were praying. He was also repeating the Greek alphabet over and over again. A few words that Ed had heard in monster movies were thrown in here and there… but all together, it sounded like gibberish. Elegant gibberish, but still gibberish.
Suddenly, all the other Space Rangers- except for Ed, King Johnny, Kevin, Saraline, Skuashi, TargonTroi- were chanting the ancient chant loudly over and over again.
Each time they said the Greekish chant, their clothes started glowing brighter and brighter. It was magic, Ed knew, but whereas the magic he'd seen so far had been multiple colors this one had melted into one color; white.
"Shoot!" Skuashi said from behind him in his squeaky voice. Ed turned around to see what the problem was.
Saraline paled. "Is something wrong with the teleporter?"
"No, the teleporter is working fine," TargonTroi muttered. "But the Kankers must have cast a spell on this planet. Its polar fields are now completely incompatible with the teleporter."
"So… No teleportation?" Ed asked.
"No," the three said in unison, their tones completely different. Saraline seemed stressed- as if weary with old age- though her pose looked like a child told they couldn't have a cookie. TargonTroi said the word in a tone that implied "no" might have been a curse word. And Skuashi said it squeakily, unintentionally making his annoyance seem like fear.
"I drove my spaceship here," Kevin said, glaring at Ed. Ed was now paying attention to the sky, which was turning white do to the intensity of the magic. Around him, members of the Kanker Alliance stood stunned. The magic has frozen the majority of them; for some, it was too much and they started to melt into tiny gooey puddles. "It can penetrate through the magical shield the Space Rangers are building without damaging it. Let's use that-"
Ed suddenly twirled around, his eyes excited. "We're riding in a UFO?!" He started hopping up and down eagerly.
"No… I just identified it, sir. How can it be an Unidentified Flying Object, you dork?" Kevin growled.
The teen paid no attention to his words and ran off, yelling, "UFO! UFO! Let's go to the UFO! YEAH!"
Skuashi immediately started running after him. "Ed, you don't even know where it is!"
"Yeah," Kevin said, glaring at the person who was supposed to be the leader of his universe. "It's in the opposite direction."
With help from TargonTroi and Saraline, Skuashi managed to calm down Ed. They started walking in the correct direction. Moments later, they were walking into Kevin's ship. It was massive and dark blue; however, the magic aura surrounding the planet of PlankStar made it look like it was glowing with a white light. The white light had formed a dense fog around the ship, but it didn't seem to deter Kevin at all as he started the engines up.
TargonTroi and Skuashi took seats in front of massive computer screens. Ed sat down in a random chair. The inside was very formal, but was nonetheless very impressive. It was dome shaped; the left half of the dome had transparent walls, and Ed eagerly viewed the giant mist. (In the distance, blurred by the intense white light, he could see the SpaceRangers chanting.) The other half of the dome was covered with expensive high-tech equipment and doors leading to other rooms.
The seats with the view of PlankStar were squirmy; Ed realized that they were made out of the same material as a waterbed. However, the seats in front of the many monitors and computers were solid; Ed was clearly in the "relaxation" sector of the ship.
As the others started the countdown sequence (Saraline passed by to tell him to put on his seat belt), Ed saw Knalp. The Space Rangers had formed a circle, and Knalp was in the middle. Suddenly, Ed breathed onto the transparent wall. Before the fog his breath produced had a chance to fade, Ed wrote the name backwards.
Knalp was Plank. He even looked vaguely like Plank.
But before Ed could make a peculiar comment on this, the countdown began.
Skuashi started it. "This ship will be blasting off in 10… 9… 8…"
Kevin rolled his eyes; Skuashi was the only one who followed the protocol that strictly. But he didn't say anything. Instead he simply sat on the Captain's chair and swirled around to glare at Ed, who was grinning with excitement. You'd think he'd never been on a space ship before… Maybe he hasn't. Who is this dork, and why is he pretending to be Ed?
"…2...1… BLAST OFF!"
And, suddenly, they were flying towards the bright white sky. The G-force was taking its toll on everyone; their skin acted as if it were trying to escape their faces. Ed was still grinning, his eyes even wider now that the gravity stretch his eyelids across his forehead.
"Oh no!" King Johnny, sitting on Ed's right, yelled out in horror. Immediately, everyone turned around, though that was no easy force when gravity was putting what felt like a million pounds of pressure upon your body.
In the distance, another ship was seen flying out of the Space Ranger's shield. It was ridiculously big; it was painted black; and it was ugly.
"Kankers?" Ed gasped.
They weren't able to tell in the white glow. But moments later, they were in space (and the extra pressure upon their bodies was thankfully gone), and it was obvious who the ship belonged to.
"It is the ship of Lee-der-dum, May-toe-jam and Marie-mop-plop," Kevin growled. But before anyone could add something to the statement, the gigantic and ugly ship flew in the opposite direction- away from Kevin's ship.
Saraline sighed with relief; it was unusual for a Kanker spaceship to fly off without attacking something… anything. "I guess we're safe for now. I'm glad we managed to survive that second attack…"
"Second?" Kevin asked, his eyes widening.
TargonTroi and Skuashi turned around. TargonTroi scowled, "Yes, second. Apparently the Kankers have been planning this move for awhile. They attacked the Earth already."
King Johnny Plankstar knew the conversation was important, but he knew that Ed needed to learn magic even more. Although he wasn't the Ed from their universe, he still might have had the ability to operate the EdCrystal. "Let's practice magic some more, Ed."
"Buttered toast," Ed nodded in agreement. King Johnny decided not to ask what toast was. That was probably a good thing; Ed would have gone ballistic if he'd known someone hadn't tried buttered toast!
The people in the ship adjusted. Johnny and Ed stood at the side with transparent walls. Kevin, TargonTroi, Skuashi and Saraline sat near the high tech equipment, reviewing the Kanker's first attack.
"Okay, Ed. Try to summon a magical weapon," King Johnny said patiently, waving his staff around. "This is my favorite magical weapon- the Staff of Plank. It has been passed down for generations; some say that Plank, himself, once used this. Ed has a favorite magical weapon- the sword of Ed. Try summoning that."
"How?" Ed said blankly.
King Johnny sighed. If he was asking how to summon a weapon, then there was no way he could summon the Sword of Ed. Instead, he suggested that Ed summon anything he could think of. Heck, creating a new, weak magical weapon would be easier then summoning the Sword of Ed.
"Focus all your energy and mind power," Johnny said. "Imagine the item as clearly as you can, then make it appear."
Now that command was not easy for Ed. It was hard for him to focus on anything serious for long periods of time. But he was able to focus on movies and comics for long periods of time, and his life, at the moment, was like a Sci-Fi/ horror movie. So he started focusing on… the zombies from Zombie Attack 28: Night of the Alien Zombies!
A mystical light, orange-red in color, filled Ed's hands. "It's working!" he said eagerly.
Johnny's eyes widened. "Wait a moment! What are you trying to summon?"
The orange-red light exploded, leaving Johnny and Ed's faces cartoonishly burnt. Smoke filled the entirety of the ship; Kevin and Ed's advisors could be heard coughing loudly.
"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE?" Kevin screamed.
"Um… um…" Ed decided to answer King Johnny's question first. "Zombies."
"You can't summon living… er… undead creatures at your level of magic!" King Johnny cried. "ED couldn't even do that!"
"What the heck is that supposed to mean?" Kevin yelled. The smoke was, fortunately, disappearing quickly. But as Kevin marched forward, Ed couldn't help but wonder if the smoke had disappeared into his eyes; they seemed to be on fire, almost literally, with anger. "Who is this guy? Is this ED or is it an IMPOSTER?"
Ed ducked behind Johnny for protection. King Johnny rubbed his temples; he was developing a major headache.
Saraline sighed. "He's not the Ed from our universe."
Kevin whirled around. "What?"
"Er, come sit down Kevin," Skuashi said. "We'll explain everything. Don't blow a casket."
Kevin reluctantly sat down and listened. After hearing the story of Ed's origins, Kevin turned around. Johnny was trying to teach Ed to summon something, again, but it was still unsuccessful. Turning back to the trio, he whispered conspiratorially, "That's what he told you. Are you sure he isn't a Kanker spy? They might have the real Ed locked up somewhere! This guy might be lying to you."
The trio looked over.
"Ed, please try to focus!" King Johnny cried.
Ed blinked. "Focus. Isn't that a dance? Focus dance! Focus dance!" He suddenly started dancing the chicken dance, ignoring Johnny's cries of frustration.
Turning back to face Kevin, they said in unison, "I doubt it."
"I give up!" Johnny cried. "Let's stop for today. The Space Ranger Headquarters is on the planet Nebulon. That can't be that far from here."
"Only 5 astronomical units away," Saraline answered. "We should be there in about fifteen minutes."
"Hey, what's that?" Ed suddenly asked, staring at the transparent wall. Everyone turned around quickly. In the distance, they could see a small gray spot, approaching at very fast speeds.
Even closer, they could see…
"A missile!" TargonTroi said what everyone else was thinking. And with that phrase, everyone (except Ed, still staring wide-eyed at the approaching weapon) ran to one of the monitors. "How fast is it coming?"
"It should be here in-" Skuashi quickly calculated the answer in his head- "five seconds!"
Kevin cursed. "Brace yourself!"
Author's Note: Yeah, a cliffhanger! Earlier on in this chapter, I mentioned Kevin's rank. I decided I wanted to expand on that but didn't have a place to put it in the story. So I'll expand it here!
A typical Space Ranger- at the age of 35 (or the species' equivalent)- is ranked 100. Rank is based off of magical abilities, combat abilities, years of experience, conduct, and battles won… among other things.
"Parallel" Ed is ranked at 5,000- the maximum rank. Ed from the Ed Edd n Eddy universe would probably have a rank of 3.
Skuashi- 1200
Saraline- 1043
TargonTroi- 1000
The above three are part of the main central government along with Ed; that is why they have such high scores.
King Johnny- 780
Kevin- 654
Priest Knalp- 50
Well above the average… Except for Knalp, who is primarily a priest and secondarily a Space Ranger.
Jimmy, as mentioned in Chapter Seven, had a rank of 2,055. Sarah was not officially part of the Space Rangers, but she would have had a score of 3089.
