3
Mal stared after his speed waddling mechanic with a slight frown. Something hinted at satisfaction in Kaylee's movements. Smug, cat-ate-the-canary satisfaction, and it had something to do with him. And River was giggling behind him, the way she did when one of the women had scored a point on him and he was just coming to realize it…
He shrugged. Women. There was a reason his only love was Serenity. He just didn't understand them. Kaylee had to pee, pregnant women did that, and River had the giggles. Good enough for him. He turned his gaze to his potential crew members and put the two females out of his mind.
Harry caught, and held his attention. There was something about the man's eyes, though he was young, that told Mal he had been through hell, and had killed enough demons to make it back out again. Solid, shadowed, and old, though Harry couldn't be more than late teens, sixteen or seventeen, eighteen at the highest. Had Mal still been in the military, he would have had an eye on this boy from the onset with the idea of making an officer of him. He had a feeling people would follow him without compunction, much like they followed Mal. Competition flickered in Mal's mind for a moment before he flicked it away. Serenity and her crew were his, and the door opened just as well in space as it did on land if the boy couldn't accept that. Time to get this done.
"Captain Malcolm Reynolds, nice t' meetcha." He said, adopting his Captain-Dummy persona. Some people needed to be put in their place right away, but he prefered not to pull rank unless it was absolutely necessary. And most people took him at face value, which made coming out on top easier. They could eye Zoe and think she was the dangerous one - and they would be right. But while they were eyeing her and getting all nervous and jumpy, they wouldn't see him coming.
The man called Padfoot grinned and offered his hand to be shaken vigorously. "Wotcher, Captain Reynolds. I'm Sirius Black, and this fine looking young man is my godson, Harry Potter."
Mal transferred his shake to the young man's. Firm, dry, not too tight. He glanced at Sirius and nodded at Harry. "He called you Padfoot."
"A nickname from my misspent youth." Sirius replied, with an offhand grin. "His father was my best friend, and we had a couple of others - formed a club, with silly nicknames to boot." His words were light, crisp and somewhat self deprecating, but there had been a shadow in those light grey eyes when the man had mentioned his friends. "Since that misspent youth gave me a distaste for gravity and 'Uncle Sirius' is misleading, Harry's called me Padfoot since the days he doodled around in diapers. You're welcome to call me the same, I answer to it as fast as I do to any other."
"Faster, since the people who called him by his given name usually substituted it with an expletive or five." Harry informed them, then paused. "Come to think of it, it's surprising you know your name at all, old man."
"Is he that bad?" Simon asked drily from somewhere behind Mal's shoulder.
"Worse." Harry responded, as Mal stepped aside to allow clear view between them. Sirius grinned and bowed. "But useful in a pinch. Almost worth putting up with him, then."
"We can mark ourselves warned." Mal said drily. "You seem to know us, but introductions are the way of things - my first mate, Zoe Washburn. Our mechanic is Kaylee Tam - she's the one taking control of your necessary. You know River Tam, our pilot. Jayne Cobb is our muscle, occasionally takes over public affairs - " Simon snorted rudely. "And, last, not least,"
"Wanna bet?" Jayne muttered resentfully.
"Simon Tam, our medic. Damned good one, we're lucky to have him." Handshakes went all around, with a few terse words of greeting, or silence, depending on the natures of the crew. The only one who was genuinely friendly on his crew, Mal realized, was Kaylee. As he thought of her, she came out of the building and made a beeline for them. "Kaylee." He called, then waited until she came closer. "Meet Sirius Black and Harry Potter."
"Shiny," Kaylee chirped. "You don't look particularly hairy." She commented, and then to Sirius. "And your name doesn't fit any better."
The grey eyed man grinned and opened his mouth.
"Don't you dare." Harry said quickly. "Or I'll make our last sparring practice look like a spring festival dance." To the others he explained. "Sirius is on a rigid restriction - he can only make a pun on his name once a year. Otherwise I'd have to kill him, and it's hard to come across godfathers, even annoying ones."
Sirius pouted, which looked ridiculous on a grown man. "You ruin all of my fun - I had an opening." Harry snorted and turned his attention to Mal.
"You need anything from us? We have papers, though between you and me the only thing that's true on them is our names. Good enough to fool the best Alliance testing, though."
Mal nodded slowly. "I'll need them, though we rarely get to deal legal after this whole Miranda episode. Are you on any radars?"
Harry shook his head. "Clean slate. You won't find anything on us in the 'Verse."
"If you're that clean, how do I know you'll do us any good?"
"I imagine you'll test us." Sirius replied, shrugging. "We'll pass anything you throw at us."
Mal liked the quiet confidence these men showed. They weren't puffed up and bragging, nor were they worried they'd fall short of the mark. "What can you do?"
"Pilot, combat, stealth." Harry shrugged. "We've made this world's system our playground, so if it need technology, we're fair hands at it."
"Can you follow orders?" Mal challenged, meeting the younger man's eyes dead on.
Something sparked, green lightning, but faded quickly. "Your ship, Captain, your orders. Your first mate's. Your pilot's on the fly. Your mechanic's when needed, and your medic's in those instances." He looked at Jayne. "We'll sort it out." Jayne mantled, but that response right there told Mal all he needed to know.
"Then we'll test your skills, but Zoe and I have last say on this ship, and Zoe answers to me. In combat situation the others can follow our lead, or yours if she and I aren't around." He nailed Jayne with a look. "You earned our trust, Jayne, and you're part of my crew. But you got a head for violence, and not much of one for keeping everyone out of the fire. You follow our lead, dogma?"
Jayne grumbled, but nodded.
He kept the man under his eye for a moment longer, then began to turn back Harry. "Shiny - shall we -" He saw River start, then caught Harry's head whipping around to stare hard in the same direction River was looking. Sirius cursed just a moment before every siren and alarm in the street lit up and began to shriek. River spun on her heel and dashed for Serenity.
"Company, Captain." Sirius informed him unnecessarily. Mal and Zoe stayed, knowing their crew would prep what they needed to get up in the air.
Mal glanced at Simon, Kaylee and Jayne. "Go." They took off for the ship as Mal asked, "What kind of company do you get in these parts, Harry?"
"Aside from your crew? Reavers. They buzz in fairly often - don't have much in the way of memories."
Mal let out a curse of his own. "That's rotten timing. What do you need from this moon?"
"Our bags." Harry responded, flicking his hands out at Sirius, who set off at a dead run for the buildings they'd apparently set up as home base. "We've got this whole block set up to fry, in case of company calling. We can strand any pursuit if we can lead them through the trap."
"River and I can do that, but you show us where it is from the bridge. On the ship." Mal ordered, and they hustled. Serenity was a block away, in sight and ready to fly, but Reavers made all safe holds seem farther than they appeared.
Sirius caught up with them half a block out, effortlessly tossing a large duffel to Harry, who threw the straps over his shoulder with equal ease. Harry then caught the com Sirius had been carrying, and cycled through several screens. "One ship, mangled like most of them are. Could be a Class 1 Falcon or a bumped up Zipper - either could hold around fifty of the raving blighters."
"How many times have Reavers come calling since y'all have been stuck on this planet, Harry?" Mal asked, noting that while focused, neither of the men were in the pale, sweating panic most people managed when Reavers came to call. They jogged up the ramp, across the bay and to the stairs. Mal paused long enough to instruct Kaylee, Simon and Jayne to "strap in tight, we're going to ask Serenity to dance," before following Zoe, Harry and Sirius to the bridge.
Harry pursed his lips, then looked at Sirius. "Six?" He asked, answering Mal's earlier question.
"Seven." Sirius replied. "We had to hide the first few times, but boredom and pride made us push for territory rights. So long as we didn't let any band get off the planet once it landed, we didn't have to worry about them bringing more cracked, savage creatures back with them. We haven't seen them in weeks, so this group probably caught sight of you coming in."
"Good thing you're coming with us then." Mal frowned. "How complicated is your trap? How much does this bird have to dance?" He would have rather let the trap layers thread the needle, as most traps tended to be, but he wasn't trusting his boat to any new crew seconds after meeting them.
Harry shrugged. "River can handle it, though I wouldn't mind taking co-pilot, just in case."
"River would prefer it, and she can thread the needle just fine. Captain?" River said from the pilot's seat, glancing up at Mal as she continued through Serenity's take off sequence, and waited for his nod.
He did some fast thinking, wrangled with himself for a savage moment and nodded. "Harry, you take secondary, if that's what River wants."
He gave the kid some credit, he didn't waste time, and seemed to know his way around a ship. Mal's mind chose the moment they lifted into the air to remind him of the crashed ships they flew over on entering the atmosphere.
River thrust Serenity forward, keeping low and dodging a few taller buildings, then shifted a look at Harry. "You don't want me in there." She tapped her head to clarify what she meant.
Harry flicked his eyes over at her, frowned, and nodded. "You're right. Nothing personal, Miss Tam, I just don't like people crawling through my head. I worked hard to be able to block them, but I know you're too strong to block, and that not everything is intentional. I need you in there right now, and emergencies take precedence. We can work out the rest later."
Mal frowned at the pair, not liking the assumptions this conversation brought about. Harry was sounding more and more like another Reader, and wouldn't that be interesting?
He was about to ask, but was interrupted as the dashboard proximity alert whipped into strident life, and River said grimly, "Got company."
"We didn't invite any guests for supper, River." Mal replied, glib in the face of marginal peril. "Send them packing." She threw him a mock-salute and settled into a series of complex evasion maneuvers. She was on her game and a very talented pilot. Mal had a very good feeling about all of this.
About the time that thought crossed his mind, River froze, her eyes widened in abject horror, and she screamed. They were in the middle of a barrel roll, only a few feet between the tip of Serenity's starboard wing and the ground, and any slack on the controls would fling the ship into Miranda's surface at high speeds. They were cooked geese, Mal thought, struggling to unstrap himself, knowing the effort as a useless one. He'd just get flung about for his troubles, but if he didn't do something they were going to die.
##
Harry settled into flying after reassuring River of her welcome, going into the partial meditative state he used to access his mind arts. He wanted to give River a very clear view of the trap he and Sirius had laid for the Reavers. Part of it was of muggle element, but magic, rune, and spellwork, gave it it's extra punch, and it was a deadly and narrow trap.
It wasn't the first time they'd used a trap like this - though not for spaceships. Voldemort and the Ministry had tried to capture Harry and Sirius after Sirius had broke Harry out of the hospital and they had gone on the run. Dementors had been their worst pursuers - Sirius had next to no defense against them because of his 12 year stay in Azkaban, and Harry's Patronus, while powerful, was based on his ability to take himself out of the moment and project his happiest memories, no matter what was going on. That first Autumn, Cedric Diggory's death had still weighed heavily on Harry's mind, and the guilt and grief he felt often got in the way of a proper patronus. So Sirius and Harry had designed a safeguard. A ring of invisible, pulsing magic that took it's power from nature's lightning. It had worked, frying the tar out of the two pursuing dementors, but lightning had arched out after Harry and Sirius, catching Sirius' broom with critical damage, causing Sirius to careen into Harry, and sent them both to the ground. Harry had recovered enough to make a rough landing of it, but Sirius whacked his head hard, and there were three dementors waiting for them. Rattled himself from the fall, Harry didn't react until the dementor that had hold of him had already lowered his hood, and the nightmare that was the dementor's face had hovered over his. Sirius had also been nearly kissed by the dementor, and one of Harry's most frequent nightmares focused on that moment, barely glimpsed.
Sirius, limp and unmoving, held in the black robed arms of the dementor as the creature pressed a pale, lamprey mouth to Sirius' lips. The glow of Sirius' soul rose, flickering into sight a moment before Harry's patronus leapt in with lashing hooves and sharp, pointed rack, scoring three solid hits as the dementor disentangled itself and fled. Harry cried out and rushed to his godfather's side, frantically trying to rouse him. It had taken three hours for Sirius to regain consciousness, and every moment of those three hours Harry wondered if he had been too late.
Sometimes, in the nightmares, Sirius didn't wake up. Sometimes the nightmares focused solely on Harry's own brush with the kiss, his vision coming into focus on that pallid, vaguely human face - like a corpse that had been submerged and slowly softened as creatures nibbled away at flesh and algae grew, they eyes that were filmed over, and the mouth, open and gaping, with tiny, circular rows of teeth that pulsed of vile magic-
River's presence in his mind shuddered, and he had a brief moment to recognize her horror before her mind snapped out of his, and her scream lanced the air.
"Shite." He cursed, and then threw a whole litany of curses after it as he flipped his console over to control just in time to keep them from coming out of their spin. The firefly shuttered as he ruthlessly held it to its course, losing speed but keeping it's bare altitude long enough for him to pull up and into safety. A catapulted harpoon slammed into the place they had just been, and Harry knew more were following. He didn't have time to consult with the Captain, he threw the ship into maneuvers. If the reavers had a lock on them when they went through the trap, they were fried. The link of the harpoon between ships would be enough to make both ships targets for the spell. His entire focus narrowed to manipulating several tons of carefully crafted metal through the sky, avoiding harpoons and pulse-cannon shots while getting back on course for the trap.
The bridge had settled into a tense, expectant silence. Harry could feel the Captain's need to get into the pilot's chair pulsing behind him, and just as strong he could feel the man's almost physical restraint, knowing that nothing he did in these few moments would change the outcome. He understood Mal's reluctance to hand over control of his ship to a shadowy newcomer, and now that newcomer had complete control of all of their lives. Somehow he didn't think the man was going to take it well, but he didn't have the time to do anything about it.
Harry sent Serenity into a sudden spin, arching the bird until she shot for the leading city of Miranda, the one that had eight skyscrapers. He led the reavers on a merry chase, weaving in and out of buildings and bridges, managing to lose the reavers often enough that they forgot about harpooning them and focused on sticking to his tail. Now. The time was now or never. He slammed the bird sideways again, and slowed, ever so slightly, letting the reavers edge up on them. Closer… closer... they would be getting excited now. Harry swung the bird around a colossal rounded building, hugging the top of Serenity so close to the walls that a mischance would surely bring them to a fiery end, and shot out of the arc right between the two neighboring buildings - a tall square like building, the tallest on the planet, and one a third shorter with a revolving ball on top. The crackle of magic induced lighting filled Harry's ears as he wrenched Serenity vertical, shooting through the narrow gap and away just as the reavers' ship entered the gap and came to a sudden, electrifying halt.
Harry eased Serenity upright again, easing off the speed and gently turning the ship so he and Mal could view the trap. The smoking ship stayed motionless for several long moments more before the spell terminated, and the ship plummeted to the ground. Sirius let out a victory shout that had Harry's ears ringing. Harry let out a long, slow breath. "Captain, do you want the lead again?"
When the captain didn't respond, Harry turned to find Mal regarding him with entirely too much weight. The silence stretched for several long moments.
"I was certain we were gonners." Captain Reynolds said, finally, his voice flat. "There wasn't a way in hell that I was going to be able to react fast enough to keep us off the ground, and that crashing was all we'd have time to do. So how did you do it? How did you know River was about to lose control? You had to know, you took over the exact moment she let go the controls."
Harry frowned. How much truth, how much lie, he wondered. "River and I… we have a lot of similarities." He started of slowly. "I know her training at the school has enabled her to read minds better than anyone else can. My training was a little different. I can't read minds like she does, but I can give access to my own, and I know when someone is inside my head. I showed her the trap - that's how I knew she could do it, she'd have access to my experience and knowledge of it - and I felt when the attack happened. Because we were both so present in the act of piloting, both in each other's headspace, so to speak, I was able to start flying when she stopped."
"That," Zoe said from behind him, "is too weird for words. People shouldn't be able to stomp about other people's minds." Her voice was firm, but there was something in it that told Harry she was diffusing, not protesting.
"We were lucky you were with us." Mal said, and frowned as he turned to Zoe. "Is she getting worse? She hasn't had an episode like that for three months."
Harry winced. "No, Captain, that was my fault. She saw something in my mind that startled her into a panic. I can keep that from happening again - I wasn't expecting her to be able to jump my protections like she did."
The captain huffed, shook his head, then threw his hands over his head. "I am not prepared for this." He said firmly. "I didn't know a person like River could exist, but I learned. I should have known someone else could exist if she did." He sighed and said under his breath, "I am not prepared for two Rivers." Louder, he asked, "do you have fits like she does?"
He met the man's gaze with granite eyes and a stony expression. "Not any more."
"You're as old as she is- if you're older, it's not by much. How can you have a handle on it?"
"I don't know how similar our experiences are, Captain. Not very, I would think. River and I, River and Sirius, we've never met face to face before. She knew of us, and talked to us in our minds - it is impossible, as far as I know, but she did it. We've talked or lived through similar experiences a few times over the years, and she did save us. Showed us an exit when our situations would have killed us otherwise. I was fourteen before Sirius freed me from my school - but after I was free I was able to work through all the bad and awful in my life, even when it kept coming. I don't think River has had much time to do the same."
Mal considered that, his face still closed with distrust. "You're being very careful in what you say."
Harry spread his hands apart, shrug and appeal. "I don't know what to say. Some of it I can't, not yet. I am being as honest as I can be, and I swear to you now I will not outright lie to you. Some of what I know, you don't want to, trust me on that."
Another long, weighing silence passed between them. "You're hired, you and Sirius both." Mal said at last. "We'll work out the details, but you saved us from certain doom. And…" Mal hesitated for a long moment. "I think you can help River, over time. If you can control what the school did to you, then maybe you can teach River to do the same."
"I can try." Harry said, not correcting Mal's assumption that he and River had attended the same school. "I will do what I can. She's halfway fixed herself."
##
Mal settled into the pilot's chair in the bridge, frowning thoughtfully at the console. Sirius had suggested, since the coast was clear and they'd fried their reaver guests, that they circle back in and resupply, since the cities of Miranda were well stocked of rations. Cities of that size needed vast supplies, and Harry and Sirius had eked out locations for some of the things they would need. They'd landed and broken ranks, each hurrying towards a part of town which would hold some needed.
It had been a good idea, and Harry was a hell of a flier. "What do you think?"
Zoe, who'd been sitting silently in the copilot's chair, pulled up her legs and rested her chin on her knees. "They're dangerous, capable, and well spoken. Black acts like he came from money, but never really cared, one way or the other. Potter could probably outfly a sparrow, if what we saw today is any indicator. I don't want to be on his bad side, but that's just a feeling. Resupply was a good idea, now that the time for panic had ended." She paused thoughtfully. "They talk funny. Like some of Inara's fancier clients, the ones reared with a golden spoon instead of a silver one. Talk like it. Don't act like it."
"Harry's a reader." Mal said it as fact, or near about so.
His first mate shrugged. "Stands to reason, if there's one, there'll be more."
"They're trying for the next operative, aren't they? Ones who can read minds, who can be controlled fully?"
"Operatives or enforcers, maybe both. What better way to indoctrinate your own regime than weed out the ones who have 'bad thoughts?'"
Mal thought about this for a long moment. "And they've an entire school devoted to this. Da Shiong La Se La Ch'wohn Tian." Zoe snorted out a laugh at the expletive, but sobered quickly.
"That would be a strong blow to the Alliance, don't you think?" Zoe mused, her gaze steady on his.
He nodded once. "I see where you're headed. We'll wait. Let Harry work with River, see what kind of progress they can make. After that," He shrugged. "We put the feelers out and hope whatever bites is friendly. Friendly enough to help us help her school."
Zoe looked away, as well. "Don't seem right, them doing that to kids." That was his agreement from her. Short and concise. She had his back.
##
Simon looked up from his diagnostics some few hours later at the clearing of a throat. The younger of their newcomers stood in the doorway offering him a lopsided smile. "It was Simon, right?"
Nodding, Simon motioned for Harry to come in. "Yes. I hear we're heading for the Rim? A moon not too far from White Fall?"
"That's what the Captain ordered." The man was just over six feet in height with striking features, and that honed edge to his movements that made every step seem like the prelude to a dance, or an attack. Simon was convinced both newcomers were dangerous. Dangerous like Zoe and the Captain, even, he forced himself to admit it, within his own mind, like River. The training of war was an obvious stamp on them. Except war wouldn't have affected a man of Harry's age, not anywhere he knew of in the 'Verse. So Harry hadn't been in a war. So what had he been in? How did his sister know him?
"You're River's brother." It wasn't a question. "She told me about you, that you rescued her. She admires you greatly for that - for all you gave up to get her free."
Simon kept himself busy. He knew River was grateful, and guilty, but he hadn't known she admired him for his sacrifice. There were some days that it hardly seemed like a sacrifice, with Kaylee as his wife and a baby expected. And River was getting better. He thought the last furiously, defiantly. She had her slips, like today, but she was able to function for days at a time like the precocious genius little sister she had been before that hell had gotten ahold of her. They'd been able to rekindle their sibling relationship, a little at least. He privately feared that being her doctor as well as her brother would push her away after a time. He hadn't spoken of it to anyone, but he would bet River knows.
"How do you know her?" Simon asked, once he'd mastered pleasure and fear both. "She has never spoken of you to me. Or written."
He noticed the hesitation, as if Harry Potter was weighing what to say, or how to say it. "We met while she was still at the school." The man replied after the brief pause. "We had similar perils." He gave Simon a half hearted grin. "I owe her, you know. As much as she owes you, more. Family, there's a reason you help family, not the same for everyone, but beholden all the same. She had no reason to reach out to me that I know of, but it kept me from becoming a tool in the hands of someone I thought was a friend."
"And how do you know about my - the escape?" Simon asked.
"She spoke to me, you know, using her mind? Right before you put her under. She's spoken with me a few times since then. Its part of what they taught at the school." Harry's eyes rested on the sleeping form of Simon's sister. "They put her through hell, didn't they?"
Simon shook his head slowly, turning to look at River himself. "We've barely scratched the surface of it. I got her onto Ariel, into a medical facility there to read the damage through some of their advanced testers. They stripped the amygdala, cut into her brain and left her exposed… Cut into her again and again. The scars are there, the evidence is physical and mental, emotional even..." He shook his head. "She can read us. We can't stop her and I don't think she can help herself. Can you? Read like she does, I mean."
Harry shook his head. "Not like her. I need more - eye contact, and the concentration to work it - I'm not sure how it's done, but I don't think anyone would be able to do it. I think you have to have some natural inclination, some sensitivity. River has a stronger sensitivity to… mind reading, I suppose, than anyone I've ever heard of, even without what they've done to her." He glanced at Simon. "Do you mind if I sit with her?"
Simon blinked at the request. "Why?"
"Because she saw something in my mind, when we were piloting, that caused her to shut down. I think she'll have questions about it when she wakes up, and it will be easier to ask those questions without a bunch of people horning in, however well meaning. And…" Harry quirked his lips in that humorless smile. "I've woken up from a few bad spells, hospitalized and alone. I never liked it."
Putting his tablet down after a long moment, Simon nodded slowly. "I have a feeling you have quite the story to tell, Mr. Potter. If you ever feel like telling it…" He let the last hang, knowing he had no right to impose.
Those green eyes flashed again, and the man's smile softened a tiny bit. "I wouldn't offer, Doctor. Some nightmares need to stay out of the light."
Simon nodded. "That is true. I'll be in the lounge right outside. If she or you need anything, call. And please leave the door open. I'm not saying I don't trust you, only that we just met." Getting Harry's nod, he started for the door, pausing on the threshold. "Mr. Potter?"
Harry, having turned to River, turned back, an eyebrow raised.
"Some nightmares need to remain in the dark, but sometimes, when examined, nightmares are smaller things than what they appeared in the shadows. It's something to keep in mind."
They stood regarding each other for several long breaths, and then, slowly, Harry nodded. "It is good advice, and I will consider it."
"That's all I ask." Simon turned on his heel and went to make himself comfortable in the lounge.
##
Harry sat on the long bench against the wall, turned so he could prop his feet up on the bench, too. Crossing his arms over his knees, he stared into space. Could he help River? Was her ability to read a person's thoughts magic or something engineered by the very advanced muggle technology?
He snorted. It was magic, of course. Science might eventually be able to explain magic, but he doubted it. Abilities like what River was displaying were magic. He could feel it in her, now that they were on the ship. He felt it in Sirius, and could sense it in himself, too. He'd never been able to do that before - tell the difference between magical folk and muggles. Why could he do it now? Simon, Mal, and Zoe were definitely muggles. He'd get a look at Kaylee and Jayne soon, but he was fairly certain they were, too.
"Muggle is a stupid name for a type of people." River said quietly. Harry raised his head and looked at her. She was staring back at him, her head turned from her prone position so dark, fathomless eyes could regard him, a tiny frown on her lips. She shifted, rolling onto her side and shrugging the blankets tighter.
"Sorry." He said, meaning both the name for non magicals and his part in her incapacitation. "The Americans called them No-Majs, if that suits you better."
"Simplistic, but acceptable. You're almost 600 years beyond the time you were, did you know?"
"So this isn't another, an alternate universe, a different thread in thousands of similar worlds? Only a jump forward in time?" Harry asked, pushing everything back for the time.
River lifted her shoulders, a barely perceptible shrug. "It could be any of those things. I don't know. Magic is outside of Science's measure. What were those things, in your memory?"
The subject change was abrupt, but not unexpected. "Dementors. Soul leeches. Cold Bringers."
"Why were they pursuing you?"
"Because I'd gone off the rails of Dumbledore's little program, and because two other organizations were after me, or Sirius, at the time. They're the jailers for the penitentiary that houses those who break the most severe of the wizarding world's crimes. They also, we found out, are pretty tireless and adept scent hounds. When Sirius and I got tired of being chased, we came up with that little lightning ward contraption - you saw our first attempt at using it."
The young woman shuddered. "Innovative, but you took risks. There was a high probability of failure - it could have killed you instead of short circuiting a broom." She paused. "All of that high-performance power and capability, and yet, it's just a broom. No inner workings, nothing but magic to propel it forward. It's very odd."
"And yet, magically, it is one of the most complex everyday items the wizarding world had. The potions, spells and runes used to produce even the most basic riding broom was endlessly complex." He smiled. "I wonder if there's a space version - maybe a mop?"
River giggled. "You have to wet it, first, and it forms a soap bubble to keep the atmosphere from killing you when you ride it."
Harry laughed at the image, but sobered almost immediately. "My head isn't a pretty place to be, sometimes. There's a lot up there that's… awful, I guess."
"Horrific, scarring, nightmarish, incapacitating." River corrected. "And a whole lot worse, but no language I or you know can adequately describe it. You saw friends die, and innocents endure what they didn't deserve. I saw those things, too, but differently. I did some of those things." She started to shiver. Harry glanced over and picked up another blanket, muttering a warming spell over it before he threw it over her.
"On purpose, under your own power?" He asked, keeping his voice light and even. He'd run into this with the Imperius, when good people had been controlled by Dark wizards. He could break it, most times, but friends of his hadn't been so lucky. Some had broken under what they had done at the behest of another, but others had borne up under it, though it weighed them down mightily. Those who survived their guilt were the ones who learned how to appropriately apply the responsibility of those actions, and most of those in the war had learned, in some ways, methods to coax that line of thinking through in others.
She cut him a glare. "I am aware of the level of my culpability, and my logic works as well as anyone else's, when it works." She snapped peevishly, fire dancing in her gaze. "They compelled me, sometimes, and sometimes I couldn't fight it, though I tried…" She sat up suddenly, crossing her legs lotus style and rearranging the blankets so they wrapped her fully. Her dark brown hair fell in waves around her, and she impatiently blew them out of her eyes. "I bear some of the responsibility for failing to resist the compulsion, but not all of it. I think…" She closed her eyes and frowned. "I think I won most of my resistances - when they wanted me to kill or maim. Most of my memories are someone else's."
"Someone else's?" Harry asked.
"Like... " River stopped and wet her lips. She took a deep breath. "Like Miranda. The reavers, the Pax, the rage and hate and the ones that just laid down and died and the ones who lingered long enough to -" Her breath began to hitch, and the words, as the came, tumbled out faster and faster until she was almost tripping over them to get them all out.
Harry reached forward and laid his hand on hers, where it clutched the blanket close to her. "River." He said in the voice that had made men several years older than he and stubborn snap to heel. He also sent a tiny jab of energy from his hand to hers.
The woman jolted, lashing out with her foot to kick Harry away from her before she thought about what she was doing. Harry crashed back against the wall with the force of it, and stayed there, still, not sure if he wanted to attract any more of her attention at the moment. Something about the way she ducked her head, allowing her hair to shield her face told him she was not in a friendly frame of mind. More than that, the sense of her that told him she was magical had sparked to life, and it pulsed now, feeling like a campfire's heat against his skin, with none of the amiableness of that setting.
They both heard Simon come to his feet the next room over and take a step. He must have stopped, wanting to offer his sister some privacy if she needed it. "River?" He called, and there was something… brotherly about how he said it. All concern and suspicion and warning rolled into one. River brushed the hair out of her face and smiled sunnily.
"I'm alright." She called. "Is there something I can eat?"
Simon poked his head in. "Protein bars?"
She made a face. "It's all we've got."
"I'll be back in a moment, then." He hesitated, flicking his eyes to Harry, once again suspicion in his eyes.
River's smile widened. "You have a dirty mind." She informed her brother primly, and Harry chuckled when Simon's face flushed scarlet and disappeared. They listened to his footfalls for a moment, then River turned to regard Harry, the humor slipping away from her face.
Harry slowly sat up from his near sprawl, and raised his hand to his chest. "Ow."
She put her hand out, the one he'd jolted. "We can match."
"Hardly." Harry snorted, "this will bruise, yours won't."
River twiddled her fingers at him, indicating magic. "It won't last a moment after you get to your bunk, so shove off."
"Point to you." Harry agreed cheerfully, amused by her spitfire. "You mentioned Miranda?"
"Yes - they implanted memories in me, sometimes, and others I picked up from other minds. Miranda was one of those, picked from the mind of a Council member. It… it did more damage than all of the other things. The surgeries, the attacks, the tests. I got lost in it for a long time. I'm still lost in it, sometimes, like you saw." River turned away. "You jolted me out of it."
"Yes." Harry said, his voice very dry. "Had I tried that when we were standing, I think you may have kicked my head clean off."
"Then you were lucky to escape with only a bruise." River sniffed, and he laughed.
"Okay, but I came down here to apologize. And offer to teach you a couple of methods I've used, both as protection and attack. They're my kind of magic, so who can say if it will help, but it's along the same principle as many muggle- sorry, No-Maj- meditation techniques. You can See what I'm talking about?" Harry finished, lifting an eyebrow in query.
River nodded, slowly. "You think what I do is magic."
Harry shook his head. "I don't know diddly about it." He told her flatly. "I became somewhat of an expert in mental exercises out of necessity, so there are a few, a very few things I know about you that suggests it, yes. If I were to guess, and it would truly be a guess at this point, River, I would say the ability is magic, and all the rest comes from the men of your school mucking about with it. But I need to know more to be able to even suggest a path." He looked up as he heard Simon's approaching steps.
River nodded. "Start with meditation, let you muck about in my mind, and go from there." She said as Simon entered the med bay. Her brother handed her the meal bar, and frowned at them both as if he were trying to formulate a polite response to a rude or annoyingly stupid query. He'd heard River at least, though Harry didn't think he'd heard him. River rolled her eyes. "No, Simon, you don't tell a patient after surgery, 'another surgery is going to fix you.' You've already closed the patient up, and surgery in most cases is done. The next step is proper rest, proper medication to keep infections away, and then slow and steady rehabilitation work. It's time for me to do rehabilitation work - and meditation is not 'bullshit hoodoo mumbo jumbo.'" She turned and glared at her brother.
Simon gaped at her, his mouth gaping open and closed like a fish's. Then he seemed to rally. "Meditation is not going to fix it all." He said flatly, hands on his hips. "As much psychosis, as much as you have endured, the surgeries you've gone through, I refuse to believe chanting mantras is going to reverse all of that."
"But mental balance will help, Simon." River said. "You've already done the work, the pills, the shots, getting my chemical balance back to where it needs to be. I am as physically healthy as I have ever been. That's your work. But you can't help with the next bit." She said it gently, and Harry had the feeling they had been tip toeing around conversations like these for a while now. "Ever since Miranda, you've been researching what to do, what the next step was."
"There are steps I can take." Simon replied, turning to his comm. tablet, "things that will help, so long as I look into them properly-"
"Experimental processes. Surgeries." Her voice was flat and inflectionless.
Simon looked back at her, turning away from his comm before he'd even touched it. "It isn't going to be like that, River, you're not my guinea pig, these aren't things I'm wanting to do for the sake of doing them - I want to help you. You, River."
"No." She said it implacably, her fists clenched in her lap as she met her brother's gaze. "I have been an experiment for too long. I have too many scars on my brain and I don't want any more. There is nothing that can be done for my amygdala, or for the issues that are already there that won't potentially lead to worse issues." She took a deep breath, and when she let it out she looked worn out and a little roughed up. "I am tired of this. No."
"Not all medical work is done as research, River." Simon replied hotly. "Even the experimental work could ease-"
"It won't!" She shouted, leaping to her feet into a standing position, nearly landing on Simon's toes. She stood there, hands clenched by her side, and locked eyes with her brother. "I'm broken, Simon. You know it as well as I do. What they did to my mind - I can't get back to what it was before. I will never be what I was."
"No." Harry said quietly, breaking into their discussion before it could become an all out fight. "You can't get back what you were before. But you can define a new normal for yourself and you can retrain your mind so you can function in society again. It will be work, but I can help you along the way." He turned to Simon, his green eyes implacable. "It is not a doctorate and license to practice, but I have put years of study and research into the protection and restructuring of my own mind due to a similar experience to River's. I don't want to step on your toes, but I think what worked for me will work for River. Maybe not in the same way, but it will help. Isn't that worth a try?"
River and Simon stared at one another for several long moments before Simon gave a reluctant nod. "I am still your physician, River. I want to monitor your progress, and you will listen to me if I say some of your exercises are too much of a strain. Understand?"
She surprised them both by hugging him. "I love you, too, big brother."
He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her hair. "I love you, meimei."
Harry slipped out of the med bay, a small smile on his lips.
##
River settled onto the floor of the lounge with a huff. Her brother had insisted on being present, though what he thought he'd do during a meditation session, she hadn't the slightest clue. Harry, legs crossed in lotus position in front of her, about two feet from where she sat, quirked his lips in the slightest of smirks. Protective older brothers, his look seemed to say. What can you do about that?
Ignore him, she answered his look silently to herself. He loves you, which means he's going to go all illogical and protective over every little change, and interfere with my progress because he's so desperately fearful of me regressing, he has trouble loosening his control over anything to do with my health. He'll get over it. Eventually. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she arched a brow at Harry. "Well?"
"We'll start slow. You've been practicing your breathing? Found a small object and collecting and compressing your thoughts within it?" She nodded, and he smiled. Simon snorted, but they both ignored him. "When you're ready, begin to do just that. I want to see what your mind does during this exercise, and then we'll start to explore." Harry closed his eyes and settled into a practiced breathing pattern. Her sense of him stilled almost immediately, going from the choppy waves on the lake on a windy day, her normal sense of his thoughts, muted as they were, to total stillness, like a fog strewn dawn on that same lake, when nothing stirs, not the wind, or the reeds, or even a fish to jump and cause ripples, or a frog to plop…
She took up his breathing pattern, and began to bring in her thoughts, wind tossed daisies, into her basket.
##
She stood on a precipice, eyeing the spiraling, whipping winds just inches away from her safe spot warily. A thin, stretched enclosure of plastic warded her from the winds, attached to a flimsy frame, patched with duct tape in places where the plastic had torn. On the winds scores and scores of whimsical items were carried: tethered balloons, elaborate kites of all shapes and colors, all jerking against their bonds as the gale-force winds tore at them, battering them this way and that. There were thousands of them, descending down the mountain side and stacking up in chaotically colorful layers. The sight made her dizzy and a little nauseous, so she looked away. It was noisy here, winds howled and shrieked, and the strands holding the kites and balloons thrummed and groaned in protest. The basket in her hands twitched and she looked down to see what caused its movement. Her daisy-thoughts were swelling, turning into flower-shaped balloons and getting ready to take flight.
"Here." Harry handed her a string. "Tie them off, so they don't get whipped out of reach by the winds. I understand now why you struggle so with maintaining one strand of conversation."
"These are my thoughts?" She asked for verification. She'd known that, or thought she'd known that already. At Harry's nod, she continued. "What about the winds?"
"An accurate interpretation of the constant input generated by your stripped amygdala, the stress of your hard past and its affect on your mind, and other injuries and abuses you've suffered, if I'm any guess." He gestured to the plastic sheltering them, emitting quiet flaps as the wind gusted at it. "This is your surface layer, your waking mind."
She nodded. "My calm in the storm, where I make decisions based on what my senses tell me."
"What do you think it was, before Miranda?" Harry asked.
River closed her eyes, thinking back to the chaos that had been her existence until she'd been able to exorcise the origin of the reavers. "No shelter, just a thick parka. I was higher on the mountain," she made a motion to the granite wall behind her. "Near the top, where the wind caught me in every direction, and where I only got a respite when the wind faded on its own accord.
"That's progress. Based on that, how would you diagnose your situation? What do you need to do to control all of this?"
"Descend even further." She said instantly, walking up to the edge of the enclosure. "Harness it, like a windmill for an energy source. Build a stronger enclosure, and windbreaks."
Harry smiled approvingly at her. "All of those are excellent ideas. Pick one, and let's start working out how to accomplish it." Smiling, she did as he asked. Progress. Real, tangible, measurable progress at last.
##
Harry proclaimed they'd done enough after she'd bricked off the back wall of her enclosure, using the concentration techniques she'd learned in dance and combat. Opening her eyes to the real world, she saw Simon, still on the couch, staring at the wall with such focus, she was astonished it hadn't burst into flames. Giving into the bratty little sister impulse, she threw her arms up and yelled "Boo!"
Simon yelped and jumped away from her. "River!" He admonished, his hand on his chest. Then let his fright fall away and donned his bossy doctor persona. "How are you feeling?"
"Stiff." She said, cautiously stretching her legs. They were both asleep, and her bottom had gone numb. Stifling a groan, she heaved herself to her feet. "How long were we out?"
"Three hours and thirty four minutes." Simon said, reaching out to steady her as her legs decided they very much wanted to be awake again, and the painful tingling swept up them. "I couldn't wake you. He came to enough to order me to stop, but you didn't even flinch."
"That's why she's doing this with me." Harry said, opening his eyes and flopping unceremoniously onto his back. "I've practiced this enough to keep part of my awareness on my surroundings. River can't divide her attention like that just yet. She needs to focus on what's going on in her mind, and it needs her full attention." He sat up and leveled an unyielding stare on Simon. "I understand your concern, but trying to jolt her out of her meditation was an incredibly stupid idea. Her hold on sanity is tenuous enough as it is - jarr her at the wrong moment, and all her improvements will come down like a house of cards." He smiled at River, now. "Though we were able to strengthen it today. I'm impressed- it took me weeks to make even that much progress, when I started."
River shrugged. "I learn fast. Thank you, Harry."
Harry stood without using his arms to propel him up, showing no sign of stiffness like she was. "Not at all. You were right. The wind is your biggest problem now. There are several different ways you can tame it, and each one has its own benefits and ramifications. Think on what would be best today. We'll compare notes tomorrow and give whatever we come up with a try. If you can barricade your immediate input from your amygdala, half the battle will be won."
"That easily?" She asked, hopeful despite herself.
Negation was in the quick shake of his head. "No." He said it gently, but firmly. "There will be snags and setbacks, River. And I think you'll find this the easiest parts. You've been protecting your own mind for years, maybe even before the school. You're intelligent and you've practiced control before. Once we have this nailed down, it will be time to organize - a spring cleaning, if you will. That will be hard, draining work, mentally and emotionally, like anything worth doing. We'll talk more about that when we get there."
"Everything has a price." She said, disappointed but pragmatic enough to see the sense in what he said. "In that case, I think I'll head to my bunk. A nap, and then I'll brainstorm again." She strode past Harry, pausing long enough to throw her arms around him. "I can get better." She whispered in his ear. "Thank you, Harry." Then she skipped out of the room, leaving a bemused yet smiling Harry in her wake.
##
"Tell me more about what you meant in the second stage of all of this." Simon said, drawing Harry's attention back from the empty walkway. "You called it spring cleaning? Exactly what does that entail?"
Harry began to stretch out his kinks. "I took my spring cleaning envisioning from a book I read once, about a boy who attends a magic school, and had to go buy his supplies, first. I started off with a grimy, dim shop, all of my conscious thoughts and memories stuffed in boxes holding magical wands and stacked haphazardly all over the store. Spring cleaning was cleaning off the boxes and the shelves, and beginning to put things in order. Some boxes wouldn't move unless I viewed what was inside of them. Some shot off sparks and forced me to relive moments I rather have buried away forever. It will be harder for River, than for me. She endured far worse than I."
"Won't that damage her anew?" Simon said, worried and disliking this regimen more and more by the second.
The young man in front of hom shrugged. "If she were weak, or if her experiences had broken her instead of twisting her up on the inside, then yes, maybe. But River is neither weak nor broken, and she has an incredible intuition, seems to learn any sort of new thing with no trouble at all. This will be hard on her, I'm sure of it, but if anyone is ready for it, she will be."
"How can you be so sure?"
Harry tapped his scar. "Because I did it, and I was not the natural your sister is. Believe in her, Simon. She never would have come this far if she didn't have to gumption to do this." Harry yawned. "I think I'll go see what the Captain needs, and then take a nap myself. That is difficult work…"
He wandered off, and Simon settled back on the couch, frowning over what had been said. The problem wasn't having faith in his sister, it was having faith in the methods. There was no documentation that gave this a chance in hell of working… and yet… Simon supposed if anyone could do the improbable, his sister was exactly the person to do it. That would have to be enough, for now.
##
A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaaand... that's a wrap. Despite this long, long hiatus, this continuation of this story has been slowly bridging the gap between what needs to happen now, and what I want to happen later, and up until now it's been too wobbly to cross. Your feedback and encouragement have been instrumental to getting me back on the wagon, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for each review. I can't wait to hear what you think of this one - oh, and good news! 13 pages of the next installment are already written, so keep an eye out! You know what to do.
