Chapter 6
I'm a lone rider.
You better run for cover,
winter's coming way too fast this year,
How do I get out of here.
I have more questions
than before this all began.
Taking my thoughts captive,
but captivated by the thought of you and me.
I'll take the long way home tonight,
Hoping that one day I'll be alright,
But for now, I'm moving on,
Holding on to nothing but my next breath.
SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN
AU
Dean walked nervously through the abandoned town waiting for his angel friend to appear. He had been waiting for now two whole minutes; however, time seemed to go slower than usual in this alternative universe.
"Come on Cass! I am dying already, don't make die from boredom" Dean yelled to the dark sky passing his hand through his short hair.
He almost gave up trying to save himself and started to walk towards his car when he heard the characteristic sound of "Cass has teleported here". Dean turned around, seeing how all of the sudden the pitch-dark sky turned into a sunny day. Even when the sun shining, Cold Oak was still a creepy and cold place.
"I heard your call. I came as soon as I could" said Castiel with neutral face.
"Finally! I need to talk to you right now. You have to help me or I'll die, literally this time"
"Why are you calling me from here? If I am not mistaken we are inside your mind right now"
"Good deduction, Sherlock. It's kind of a long story, ok? I-I need to ask you a favor. I need you to tell Sam something ASAP"
"I will help you Dean. Tell me what I should do"
Dean resumed what had happened to Cass and told him what Sam had to do to help him, seeing how confused the angel seemed. Doubts started to surge inside his mind, making him regret his decision. Maybe he had made a mistake calling Castiel. The angel barely understood how the world worked, and now he had to help him to end a supernatural creature that not a single hunter had heard about for many years.
"I will do it. I will find Sam Winchester, don't worry Dean" said Cass while turning around.
"Hey, Cass" yelled Dean, knowing that Sammy needed to know something that was as important as the message of how to end the bitch that was killing him.
"Yes, Dean?" asked the angel looking at him.
"Can you tell Sammy that this is not his fault?. Tell him that if something happens to me, he doesn't have to feel guilty. I know that he is trying his best right now"
"Alright" said the angel before banishing in the thin air.
Dean closed his eyes and tried to connect his mind with his body. They said that if you did that, you could hear what was surrounding you in the real life. He had to try at least. He had nothing to lose at that point, right?
The first sound that he heard felt as real as any sound that he could hear from where he was. The sound came heart monitor, he was sure of that. He had never been a big fan of hospitals, although had been there many times against his will.
Other sounds started to appear as he focused more into what was really surrounding him. The constant sound of people talking and people opening/closing doors was annoying, however one pair of footsteps called his attention. He knew them too well to ignore them.
"Hey Dean" whispered Sam heartbroken.
The echo of his voice was relieving, but sad and torturous at the same time. He said hi aloud, but Sam did not seem to listen to his voice . Dean had ignored Sam before and had not felt guilty about it until now. Now that he wanted to talk to his little brother, there was an invisible wall separated them.
"I was such a jerk. I should have talked to you Sammy" said Dean feeling guilty.
"I… I tried everything that I can to save you, but… I"
"I know Sammy. I know it. You don't owe me any kind of explanation. You of all people should not explain yourself" said aloud again, even knowing that it was in vain. Sam was seeing his empty body, his shell. Perhaps he did that because it felt comforting. It felt like being a little closer to the real world, where he could hug Sam and even ruffle his stupid long hair.
"I am going to keep trying. We still have two days more or less. I am not giving up on you. This is my fault, and I am sorry. I swear that I will get your ass out of the fire, like you did with me… You shouldn't have done it though. I am evil, a burden to you. I should have died, even you would agree with me on that" said Sam with shaky voice. He was about to fall apart, but there was nothing that Dean could do to comfort his brother.
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT SAM! YOU AND ME MAN, THAT'S ALL WE HAVE, ALL THAT WE HAVE EVER HAD! I WOULD NOT CHANGE A THING, ALRIGHT? I WAS STUPID AND RECKLESS, I WAS FREAKING BLINDFOLDED! A life without you… I am no one without you, man. If I have to live without you… I would follow you wherever you would go in a minute" said Dean looking at the sky, imagining Sam's actual face.
"I am gonna fix this. If you can hear me, know that I will do whatever it takes to save you, to fix you. I know that this will sound weird, but I love you Dean… I really do"
"Me too little brother, me too" said Dean before falling on his knees to the muddy soil beneath him. A massive headache invaded him, making impossible to think or keep hearing what Sam started to say. He fell on his back and closed his eyes as black clouds made their way to cover up the sun in the clear sky. It started to rain, and his clother got completely soaked. Dean was cold, hungry and desperate.
"SAAAAAM" screamed before his body went limp and his head lolled to one side.
Few hours later…
Dean opened his eyes, not aware that he had passed out. His senses were not telling him that something was really wrong anymore, and his legs felt weak. He didn't think that he could make it to the car that he owned, at least not right now. Where was he supposed to go anyways? Why was he in the middle of nowhere all alone? Was he sleepwalking again?
He could not remember why he was there after many years of trying to avoid the agonizing memory of the most important person in his life dying in that horrific place. A very familiar feeling of sadness hit him, remembering again that Sam was dead, Sam was not coming back. Dean went on his hands and knees just in time to empty his stomach off the burrito he had eaten few hours before. God, he felt like crap!
Minutes passed until his legs were able to hold the weight of his body and he actually made it out of Cold Oak. He was driving in any direction, looking for a motel to stay in, a motel with two beds this time. Some days he would stay in a motel room with one bed when he was running low on money, hardly sleeping at night, or whenever he was able to catch some Z's. He needed Sam's bed, sometimes sleeping in there to feel closer to him. He would ask to himself what Sam would do in a similar situation, or which hunt he could be working on. All those questions would not have an answer, because what was left of Sam was skin and bones buried underground. Sometimes it seemed that he had not existed at all, and it was only him having the most beautiful dream of his life, driving his baby with Sammy by his side.
He spotted one motel after two hours of driving, but when he entered and tucked himself into bed, a call interrupted him. He knew exactly who the person was even not seeing the screen of his cellphone.
Why was Bobby even calling him right now? Maybe he had a case, but he was not interested in helping people anymore these days. He could not even help himself if that counted as an excuse.
All that he wanted was to be left alone, to cry Sam in the silent room without being interrupted.
"Bobby, hey" said Dean while rubbing his eyes tiredly.
"Where are you Dean? We have been waiting for you for 12 hours! We called you a thousand times, but you idjit would not answer!"
"What do you mean with that? I haven't talked to you in a long time" said Dean confused
Bobby noticed that Dean sounded different. He sounded like the Dean that he had become over the years after Sam's death. It couldn't be happening, not right now.
"Son, where are you? I will pick you up. Ellen, Jo and Ash want to see you"
"Don't feel like seeing anybody right now Bobby. Not in the mood" answered Dean
"Dean, please. I need to talk to you about Sa- something. I will drive you here"
"No, Bobby. I woke up in Cold Oak and… I don't know why! I don't know what is happening to me right now! My mind is a mess and I don't feel like seeing anybody, ok? Just… leave me alone"
Dean ended the call before Bobby could talk back, making the old hunter be worried sick about the boy he had raised as a son.
"What did he say, Bobby?" asked Jo nervous
"He… He had forgotten the fact that he does not belong here. I think that it's too late to do anything. Everything depends on the version of Sam that is alive right now. I tracked Dean, so we can go look for him in the morning" explained Bobby while walking through his office.
The silence filled the room as the four hunters stared at each other. Should they even go there? Their Dean was going to another rough time, and there was nothing that they could do, or say, to make him feel better.
"I will go alone in the morning, Bobby. He will listen to me" said Jo.
"Well, if you can make this idjit come here I will make you a statue. That boy ain't getting out of there easily" assured Bobby thoughtful.
"I know, but I still have to try. He is the man that I love after all" said Jo before heading towards the living room with a beer in her hand and a cupcake on the other hand. For now, she would watch TV and try to distract her mind from what was happening. She hated to see Dean like that, but if she had learned something after all those years, was that sometimes not even the woman that he loved could fill the empty soul of a man that lost his brother.
TBC…
Author's note: Hey guys, sorry for the long time without an update. I am going through a rough time, dealing with anxiety and depression. It's not a walk through the park, but I am still standing. I am not really into writing right now, however I wanted to give you guys this chapter, so I don't forget this story. If you like it, please review, and send me some love if you can. I am in need of that lately.
