Haruka smiled indulgently as his son recounted his school life to him with enthusiasm. Nagisa seemed to be getting better; less timid and more confident. It was with the way he held himself; shoulders back, chin tilted up higher than it ever was, sharp eyes meeting his own. He was proud of Nagisa, although, a small part of Haruka was worried that he had changed too much in his absence.
For instance, his son's speech had become stronger since he left. No stuttering, no rushed words. It was soothing, calm and controlled. It made him appear harmless, but its flowing quality was one that would be envied by professional orators, those who could only dream of having a firm and powerful voice as his son's. Whoever taught his kid to speak so eloquently and harmlessly at the same time must certainly be up to the high standards of Kunugigaoka. Then again, Nagisa was always fond of English and its literature, perhaps his talent lay in languages?
Watching his son speak so fluidly made Haruka feel even guiltier than before. He had missed out on the majority of his son's development. How much of it was Nagisa's own doing? What if Hiromi was still insistent on controlling Nagisa? What if she had pushed him so hard since he left that Nagisa had no choice but to obey?
Haruka got some comfort in noting how the long waist length hair his son had was tied up in a more manageable hairstyle that offered some form of masculinity to his appearance. It was nice seeing his son stand up for himself, refusing his ex-wife's ridiculous demands of him. But that was the only sign he got from Nagisa that indicated how he was being treated at home. And it worried him not knowing what else he was subjected to, what mental damage he could have endured. Something Haruka should have been shielding his son from. After all, it was Hiromi's domineering views that drove him away.
"Nagisa-kun, how is your mother? Is she well?" he asked, curious if Nagisa harbored any ill-will against him for leaving him with an oppressive mother. The child tilted his head slightly then offered him a small smile.
"Honestly, Tou-san, I doubt I will ever understand how she works." He replied. "One minute she's a caring mother, ready to dote on me and answer my every whim just because I did well in a test."
Nagisa frowned briefly, before resuming his unassuming smile. "However, those moments have quickly become very rare, and very short-lived. Most of the time she complains about my hairstyle, about Class E, about how ungrateful I am despite her many 'sacrifices'. She ignores my opinions as if my input isn't worth acknowledging, afraid that I will shatter her delusional fantasy of living her dream life- one in which she was refused at my age- by living it through me. I do not know what to say other than she is well enough to be my guardian before I come of age. What will become of her when I leave is up to her, I want no part in it."
Haruka felt sick throughout his son's answer. It was as though knives were being plunged ruthlessly into his heart, one after the other. The guilt was killing him slowly in the inside. He thought Hiromi wouldn't expose Nagisa to her insanity. He assumed she would take care of him like she did when he was around, that she would continue to be the supporting mother in Nagisa's life that he would love no matter what, and shun his pathetic biological father. That's what it was supposed to be.
But it wasn't. If anything, it appeared to be the opposite.
"Son, I…." Haruka choked out, dipping his head in shame. "I'm so sorry. This should not have happened. I should have been there for you all these years."
What kind of a father was he, to not check up on his only child for 7 years?
"I'll talk to Hiromi, Nagisa-kun. I can't let this continue any longer-" Haruka was cut off by his son's hand resting on his own. Reluctantly, he raised his eyes to meet his son's, fully expecting anger, contempt, even hatred.
Which was why he was taken completely off guard by the warmth and forgiveness that shone so brightly in his azure eyes.
"I don't blame you, Tou-san. I'm glad I can see you again. As for her, I highly doubt she will listen to you and change her ways readily. I think we're better off keeping everything as it is. I have handled her for so long, I'm sure I can hold on for another few years, ne?"
Nagisa's father couldn't believe his son. How could he deserve such a perfect child? He didn't deserve Nagisa's forgiveness, he didn't deserve being talked to so lovingly. Haruka was selfish and he abandoned Nagisa to Hiromi without a second thought. Despite the changes in Nagisa, he was, in some ways, the same little boy who forgave too easily.
"Tou-san?"
Haruka jerked back from his thoughts abruptly. Now wasn't the time to wallow in self-pity.
"No, I'll make it up to you, Nagisa. I'll talk to Hiromi and I will do my best to help you. It's the least I can do."
Although he was afraid of Hiromi and loathed the thought of seeing her again, all doubts were banished at the sight of his son's beautiful relieved smile.
He arrived home with his father. While he kept a cool face, his father's constant fidgeting gave away his nervousness. Neither of them wanted to be here, and neither of them wanted Haruka to confront Hiromi. They already knew this was a disaster waiting to happen. The only reason why they were even in this situation was because of Haruka's adamant refusal to leave things as they were. According to him, Nagisa deserved better, and for some reason, Haruka felt like he owed his son for leaving him in the first place.
"Are you sure you want to do this, Tou-san? It's not too late to back down, I have already forgiven you." Nagisa asked quietly.
Haruka nodded his head firmly. "Of course I'm sure. I need to know what is going on here."
With that, Nagisa unlocked the front door and the duo stepped into the modest house.
"Tadaima." He called out.
"Okaeri, Nagisa-chan." Hiromi replied from the kitchen.
Nagisa glanced at his father and motioned him to follow. He was stiff as he walked. Haruka's hands were rigid by his sides, his mouth set in a straight line. The blue haired assassin-to-be would admit that he wasn't great with affection- that was to be expected with such a controlling and selfish mother- but the need to provide comfort for the clearly distressed man urged him to reach out and hold his hand as he led him into the kitchen. This small display of affection was enough to loosen Haruka's tense shoulders, and when he made to let of his son's hand, he gave him a grateful smile and a pat on the head before steeling his face to meet his ex-wife.
Hiromi was seated at the kitchen table, nursing a mug of hot coffee. Her hair was neat as usual and she was dressed in a casual blouse and long skirt. Her eyes widened at Haruka, who stood solidly by Nagisa's side.
"Haruka, what are you doing here?" she asked, standing up and abandoning her addictive beverage.
"Good evening to you too, Hiromi. You and I need to talk."
Nagisa's parents stared at each other for a few moments before Hiromi nodded her head sharply.
In the end, the bluenet remained at the top of the stairs and listened to the argument that has been going on for almost an hour. He had to hand it to his father, he certainly knew when to drop that infinitely patient act.
Haruka didn't beat around the bush; he immediately began questioning Hiromi of her treatment of Nagisa as if it was an interrogation. Predictably, Hiromi didn't allow him to accuse her of neglecting their child in her own house. She protested loudly, which caused Haruka to raise his voice in equal measure. They disputed back and forth, leaping from Nagisa to Hiromi's mental stability to Haruka leaving them. It was like a tennis match. One very long rally of hitting the ball of accusation at the opponent until said foe faltered. As both his parents were quite stubborn in their opinions, neither had faltered-not even stumbled- throughout the ordeal.
Nagisa listened with half an ear. He didn't bother trying to sleep; it would only be in vain. Instead, he exchanged succinct texts with Karma about the situation. He trusted Karma with his life, just as how Karma trusted him with his. They shared almost everything with each other. Karma knew about his problem with Hiromi's tendency to refer to him as a female. Nagisa knew about Karma's empty mansion and his constantly busy parents, who were always abroad on business trips. This closeness was often displayed when they had classes. Although they felt more welcome within Class 3-E than with the students at the main building, both of them knew that there was a gap between them and the class. It had been progressing as the months went by and by the time Nagisa took down Takaoka with a real knife minus the flinching, a huge crevasse was formed without them noticing. Despite their common goal to assassinate Koro-sensei, it was only a matter of time before the class turned their backs on the pair, just like the other students. Unlike Karma and Nagisa, they weren't ready for blood. Not the gruesome aspects of assassination, not the various ethically wrong methods of gaining information from their targets, and certainly not the act of killing.
Karma noticed this distance first yet he didn't seem bothered by it. If anything, he seemed to have accepted it. He had no problem showing off his brutal side with his attempts to assassinate Koro-sensei. When the class realised how serious he was with his drive to kill a teacher, and how affected he was by the betrayal of his previous mentor, they slowly and subtly became wary of him. Soon, he was on the edge of being marginalised.
Nobody suspected Nagisa's skill until Takaoka's take down. Under the cheering and the congratulatory pats on the back, there was an underlining wariness in his peers' stances, as if he would turn on them as he did with Takaoka. He was grateful at least, by Maehara's slap that brought him out of his musings after the event. The wake-up call helped Nagisa regain his senses and assured the class that he was still the same old Nagisa, just with an affinity for surprise. Unfortunately, it didn't stop the crevasse from forming as a result.
Speaking of Maehara, it was him, Isogai and Kayano that hadn't treated him nor Karma any differently. Nagisa admitted, he wasn't that close to the boys, but he was sure they had no problem with him. And Kayano too was certainly not afraid of him. She was always there for him, and Nagisa appreciated her immensely for the friendship they had. If he remembered correctly, weren't they all suppose to go to a karaoke soon...?
The sound of his father's yelp of pain brought Nagisa to his feet. In a flash, he raced down the stairs and threw the kitchen door open.
Haruka was hovering over the sink, hands curled over his eyes as he splashed cold water over them. Hiromi had her mug of coffee clutched tightly in her right hand, the contents splashed all over her ex-husband. She stood there by the kitchen table, frozen, unable to move, useless.
Nagisa was at his father's side in an instant, quickly assessing the damage. Haruka's eyes were a blazing red and his laboured breath roused a fiery anger within the bluenet. He whipped around to glare at Hiromi.
"What were you thinking?! You could have ruined his eyesight!" he yelled.
"I-I didn't mean to! Nagisa-chan-"
"Stop calling me that. I am not your daughter." he paused and smirked darkly. "Then again, I have never considered you my mother either."
Nagisa closed his eyes as Hiromi's panicked demeanour changed into rage. She began screeching the usual insults and insisting on Nagisa's gender. He felt her approach him rapidly. He could have ran, he could have opened his eyes and tended to his father. Instead, he stayed there, unmoving, his body not responding to what his mind is screaming at him of what is to come.
He bowed his head and waited for the hit. Hopefully it wouldn't connect with an already existing bruise.
But to his surprise, he was shoved backwards and another pained yelp left his father's lips.
"Tou-san!"
Haruka was sporting a red hand print on his left cheek, matching his red eyes. Despite the obvious signs of discomfort, Haruka stood ready to defend Nagisa.
"That's enough, Hiromi."
It was about time that Nagisa understood the phrase 'knight in shining armor'.
Nagisa walked into classroom 3-E with a barely concealed satisfied smirk. Even now, he was still reeling with the assurance of his father's custody over him. Days after his conversation with Haruka, Hiromi was found unfit to care for Nagisa any longer and was accused of physical abuse. Her admission to a mental facility was also supported by the bruises of various colours on his body and the vast range of dresses- all in his size- stowed away and neatly maintained in her wardrobe. Although, he felt somewhat guilty for having his father's fears confirmed. Haruka didn't do anything wrong, he did what any sensible man did; left an unhappy relationship with a madwoman. Despite Nagisa's relief of his mother's control, he could not help but recall his father's pained grimace as he watched Hiromi struggle to leave the confines of her bed in the asylum, shouting and screaming curses at Haruka for taking away her second chance at life. Nagisa merely felt coldly detached at the scene.
On a brighter note, Nagisa now lived in his father's apartment, which he got for a decent price at a reasonable walking distance from his school. He loved his father, and his father loved him. It was all he could ask for, though, he tried to ignore the missing spot reserved for the maternal figure of his family. He supposed there was an undeniable sadness there. He remembered passing by numerous whole families, children with both their mother and father, and feeling jealous of the fact that they had the chance to have both while he only had one.
However, he was happy he had the nicer half of the deal.
Calmly taking his usual seat, he ignored the unsettled stares and lone amused grin from his peers.
