Hey everyone,
So this chapter will forge some bonds and destroy – temporarily – a few others. However, because this a story focused on making Harry feel like he gets the life he always dreamed of, will the destroyed bonds only be temporary. Though that also means that you can expect bashing to show up from time to time.
Hope you enjoy,

Venquine1990


Chapter 06
Creating And Ending Bonds – Part 01

25th of December 1995
Grimmauld Place, London
Harry's POV

It hasn't been that long since Sirius left downstairs before there is a knock at my bedroom door. "Who is it?" I ask, not feeling entirely certain I can face someone like Ron and Hermione or Mrs. Weasley right now. Yet to hear my mum's voice say: "It's us, Harry. Sirius send us." Makes me experience mixed emotions as well.
I feel glad that it's them and not anyone I feel insecure about, but I still don't like the idea that I should confide things in them that I have never even told anyone other than Sirius just now. Yet I ignore these thoughts and say: "Come in." Not at all feeling bad that I have my back turned to the doorway, which they see as they enter.
And neither does it seem to matter to either of them as they gently come to sit at either side of me, both of them moving their hands to lie down on either of my sides, but not saying or doing anything else. And this wordless sign of support along with their silent way of giving me the chance to start really makes me feel better.

"Sirius told you why I want to talk to you, right?" I ask tentatively and the two of them nod as I sigh and say: "It's – it's just that – not even Ron and Hermione know that these things are weighing me down. And I only gave Sirius a brief description of most of them really. And, if I do voice them in public, it – it could –."
But then dad lies his hand on mine and says: "Harry, we're not in public and you deserve to have someone to who you can voice your worries, concerns, things that anger and things that hurt you. But – why does it sound as if you don't believe that Ron and Hermione can be these people? Did they do something to lose that right?"
To this I sigh and say: "Ron, not really, other than that he has serious individuality issues. He can be stubborn to a fault, but when faced or confronted by either the twins or his mother, he breaks so easily, it makes me fear I can't trust him. Because I'm not sure that they won't respect my need to confide in him and him only."
"And what about Hermione?" Mum asks and I frown as I say: "She's too loyal to the adults. She proved that to me last summer when she chose her Headmaster, who has no say over her over summer, over her loyalty to me. She's the "Smartest witch her age" and she can't even think of a way to folly the Order? Really?"

The two nod and then dad asks: "Do you have any other issues with them?" To this I lower my head and gently pull my hand out of dad's grasp to put both of my elbows on my knees as I crouch where I sit and whisper: "I – I hate being part of Dumbledore's Army. It's a group of students that study DADA under my lead.
Only it's –." But then I stop as I suddenly feel as if some kind of spell hit me in the face and look up, my eyes wide as my fingers reach for my face. And to my shock do I feel all kinds of pulsing bumps having grown all over my face."faciem ad purgandum." I then hear mum say and to my relief do I feel the bumps vanishing.
"Harry, what was that about?" Mum asks and I answer: "I – I don't know." But as I think back and as I run another hand down my face, do I suddenly realize what exactly just happened and I feel a new sense of rage overwhelm me as I growl: "But I do know someone who might." And I shoot off my bed and head for the door.

And as if fate is on my side or Murphy has decided to support me instead of thwart me, does a knock sound on the door when I approach it and I hear Sirius say: "Pup, you okay in there? The others have something they want to say to you." At this I open the door and state: "Just you and Hermione first. The others later."
And Mrs. Weasley wants to open her mouth, but then a still weak looking Mr. Weasley lies a hand on her arm and says: "Molly, remember why we're here. Remember the ritual." And the woman closes her mouth again while I step aside to let Hermione and Sirius through. I then send a look at Ron, but the boy nods in understanding.
And while I feel amazed that he seems uncaring for how I am currently hoarding our joined bedroom for my own purposes, do I then turn and close the door before I say: "Sirius, can you please ensure that no one can hear what happens in here." And I send a telling gaze at both the door as well as the portrait on the wall.

Sirius nods and casts a few privacy charms on the door before he says: "As this is a matter between the son and grandson of Dorea Potter née Black and the Lord of the Black line, I hereby invoke the Family Rights Clause. You do not report any of these talks to Dumbledore or you will face the Magical Family Consequences, you hear?"
And while the portrait is empty, do I still hear a voice grumbling from behind the portrait frame. Yet I ignore the man hiding there and focus on Hermione, feeling furious that she took yet another risk the way she did and I think: "That's it, I'm dissolving the club right next meeting. I am not taking these risks any longer."

"Hermione, do you trust my parents?" I ask her, remembering that she did tell Ron and me about her jinx, but feeling that she should have been more specific and remembering that we believed this spell to only count if someone fibbed to Umbridge, especially because she encouraged Dean to speak with Seamus only recently.
"Of course I do.""And you'd like it if more members knew of the club, right? If we got more –." But this is as far as I get as Hermione starts ranting: "Harry, how could you? You told them about the club! Do you –.""Excuse me, didn't you just say that you trust us?" My mum interrupts the girl and she stops mid-rant.
The girl looks shocked and I growl: "The club is through, Hermione. I'm done with it. NO! You hear me out. You know I was originally against it and when I finally agreed, I asked you several times how many people you wanted to include. You kept saying a few people. I'm sorry, Hermione, but two dozen isn't a few people.
And then, for the first initial meeting at the Hog's head, you didn't even ensure that those coming would come for the right reasons. I was put on the chopping block because people didn't care for learning Defense, they wanted me to face a trauma I was still having nightmares over. And you could have easily guessed that.

And speaking of those who showed up, I can already tell you that I have been pondering the thought of disbanding the club for some time now. Why? Because Smith has incredible pride issues and can easily talk his mouth away. Because Cho's friend obviously doesn't want to be part of the club and has the same problem.
Because I can't be certain I can trust some of those coming not to betray us. And then there's the first meeting we had at Hogwarts as well as every meeting since then. Hermione, you had plenty of time between us finding the room and Neville and the others arriving to tell me what you wanted to happen at that meeting and you didn't.
Instead, you waited until everyone was there and then dropped the bomb of both the name and the whole leader thing on us. And worst was, both times you interrupted me just as I was starting to get into it and get some confidence. You made me out for a mumbling fool in front of people I didn't even know or knew I could trust.

And about the other meetings? Hermione, why do you think I am doing any of this?" The girl looks dumbfounded that I am criticizing her like this, but then she snaps: "To help the students, of course." But I glare at her and say: "No, to do you a favor. Nothing more." And the girl looks at me shocked yet again, aggravating me as I say:
"And how do you repay me for me doing you a favor? By interrupting me during meetings, criticizing what I have planned to levels of Smith a few times. By interrupting me during meetings, criticizing what I have planned to levels of Smith a few times. Yes, you did sound like Smith. And worst of all, thinking you can trick me!"
"How am I tricking you?" The girl shrieks and I snarl back: "Don't take me for an idiot, Hermione. The meeting plans for the fourth, seventh and last meeting were all fabricated! They were you fabricating my handwriting in your twisted belief that I wouldn't notice! How could you do that to me? Do you think that little of me?"
At this the girl cringes, shock and guilt showing on her face and I growl: "I am taking tremendous risks with this club, just to do you a favor and you don't even appreciate it. Instead, you go behind my back and try to lead it yourself. I don't believe I'm the Club's leader in your eyes, I believe you see me as a puppet on strings!

I deserve better than to be treated like that BY MY BEST FRIEND!" I shout in the end, feeling grateful beyond words that there are privacy spells on the door as I just know that Mrs. Weasley would come in to rant at me for that scream without taking my words into account, but then I take a deep breath and say:
"And those aren't even the only reasons I am disbanding the club right next meeting. Another reason is something you keep doing every meeting, even when, over the last three, I have been silently begging you not to.""What on earth are you talking about?" The girl asks shocked and I growl: "You shrink the room."
Yet while this makes mum, dad and Sirius share a concerned look, does Hermione seem to think this to be her chance to prove her right, making me want to strangle her for that blasted ego of hers returning yet again as she snidely says: "Well of course, I shrink the room. It's only better with how often we get blasted off our feet and –."

But then I growl: "You shrink the room so that only 16 people are supposed to be able to fit in. WE'RE WITH TWENTY-EIGHT!" The girl cringes and I glare at her as I ask: "Hermione, have you ever seen me join with large crowds? At the grounds, the Great Hall, the Quidditch Pitch, Hogsmeade village, here at London?"
The girl seems surprised at the change of topic, but I think: "Please get the picture, please get the picture, please show me that you know me better than this." As the girl says: "Well – no. You – you always pick the seats that have more room for others to join us. Even at the Great Hall you rarely sit with others."
"And why do you think that is? Why do you think I avoid large crowds? Why do you think I always rush us up when we have to move through small busy hallways when passing between classes? Why do you think I always sit in either large open or small, secluded, lonely areas? Why do you think I don't seek others out?"
I ask her, yet the girl seems unable to come with an answer. "Because you have anxiety issues." Sirius then says and I nod at him as I say: "Exactly." Making Hermione look at me shocked. I glare at her and snarl: "Sirius is lucky if he sees me three times a year. You've known me for the past four and a half years.
How is it he knows me better than you do, Hermione?" The girl remains silent, speechless apparently, yet I answer: "I'll tell you how. Because even after all these years, you still have a certain image of me, instead of seeing me for who I really am. You trying to trick me with those lesson plans the last few times proves that.

I can't trust you, Hermione. You've been proving that over and over this past half year and – as much as it hurts – I – I can't keep up this charade I believed was a valued friendship. So unless you can prove me wrong and not try to lecture me because your ego got wounded, I'd like you to leave and let Lupin in. He's next."
I tell her coldly, trying not to put any focus on how painful my own words are to me and when Hermione shrieks: "HARRY JAMES POTTER, YOU CAN'T –!" Does she get interrupted by my dad who growls: "He can and he has. And you just proved him right. You really do believe him just a puppet who's strings you can pull."
The girl looks at him shocked and while I try not to let her see that tears have started welling up in my eyes over seeing this evidence presented to me, do I turn my head away and hiss: "Get out." And when the girl wants to state my name again, do I snarl: "NOW!" Shocking her before she storms out of the room, slamming the door.

And that slamming noise is, in my mind, joined by a shattering sound as I feel as if my heart just got broken and I start to sniffle, tears leaking out of my eyes as I turn away from the door. Yet then I get shocked as, instead of Lupin, Mrs. Weasley actually storms into the room and screams: "HARRY JAMES POTTER!"
Only to get stopped before she can start as she suddenly has three wands aimed at her and mum growls: "Harry was in the right. We witnessed the whole thing and Harry presented plenty of facts that proved him in the right. Now get out of this room and let Remus in, will you Molly?" Yet the woman seems unwilling to leave.
"You're just –." She wants to snarl, but then gets shocked when – to my amazement, the twins manhandle her, each one of them wrapping an arm around her shoulders and forcefully dragging her back outside as they chorus: "Not now, mum. This is for Harry's sake and this is Harry's room. Respect that already."

And the two drag the shocked woman out of the room, Lupin reluctantly walking in after them and closing the door behind them before he turns to me and my family. "You know what you did." I mutter as I feel too exhausted from my rant at Hermione to gather up the anger and pain I feel at the man and his lies.
The man sighs and says: "Yes, I do know.""Do you regret it?" I tentatively ask, part of me frightened at hearing the answer and I release a breath as the man nods before I ask the one question I know will either make or break the potential bond I could have with this man: "If Dumbledore orders you to repeat it, will you?"

The man looks at me shocked and I glare at him as I say: "You didn't have any interest in me until Dumbledore needed you. I could understand not buying me a birthday present as you had only just resigned your old job and needed the money, but not even a Christmas present – or a good luck card for the sake of the Tournament?
Sirius was a wanted man on the run and even he send me a paw print splattered onto a piece of parchment for the Third Task. I can even, sort of, understand, that you didn't come to the tasks, but – I heard nothing from you until after the Old Crowd had been gathered back together on Dumbledore's orders. Do you realize how that made me feel?
It made me feel as if I mattered nothing. As if the bond we had created over those Dementor lessons had resigned alongside you. As if a man you hadn't had to take orders from for over a decade and then some was more important to you than someone who was young, inexperienced and the last bit you had left of a good past.
It made me feel as if everything I was to you died alongside my parents!" I shout in the end, this time not caring for the fact that the man can see how hurt I had been over how he abandoned me and hurt me and the man looks at me with a shocked, sorrowful look, the shock on his face angering me into another rant:

"WHAT! DID YOU THINK YOU DIDN'T MATTER TO ME? YOU WERE ONE OF THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE I HAD LEFT THAT KNEW MY PARENTS! WHO HAD BEEN A CLOSE FRIEND OF MY FATHER! A LINK TO THE PAST I NEVER HEAR ANYONE ABOUT! DID YOU REALLY THINK I DIDN'T CARE FOR THAT?"

And the way the man almost steps back as he cringes says everything, making me turn away as I wrap my arms around myself in protection, part of me wanting to rush for either Sirius or my parents, but another part of me denying this in its need to stand strong and prove these people I can stand up for myself on my own.
"You don't care. You don't want to care. You just want to assume and take orders, instead of getting to know me and making your judgment based on what you know of me. I'm sorry, Lupin, but – I can't accept someone like that as a godfather. Not after all the effort Sirius has put forth to show me what a good godfather is like."
"Harry, there is no way I can ever be like Sirius or do what he does. I –." Lupin tries, but I turn back and shout: "YOU'RE A FREE MAN! YOU MAY NOT HAVE MUCH MONEY OR GOOD CLOTHS, BUT DO YOU REALLY THINK I CARE FOR THAT! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT MATTERS TO ME!"
Yet the man seems done taking my rants as he shouts back: "BECAUSE YOU HAVE IT ALL!" To which I explode: "HAVE WHAT ALL! I'M AN ORPHAN WITH POWERS I DON'T EVEN GET AND A MADMAN OUT FOR MY BLOOD! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I HAVE, YOU BLEEDING IDIOT!"

And to my shock does the man scream back: "YOU HAVE MONEY! YOU HAVE HOMES! YOU HAVE PEOPLE THAT WOULD DIE FOR YOU! AND YOU DON'T EVEN SEEM TO REALIZE IT, YOU UNGRATEFUL, LITTLE SON OF A –!" But before he can continue, does a cold voice snarl: "Depulso!"
And the Banishing charm hits Lupin straight in the stomach, launching him across the room and slamming him against the wall next to the portrait, causing him to land on Ron's bed with a harsh thump sound. I turn to where the spell came from and see Sirius pocket his wand, a stern glare on his face as he says:
"Harry doesn't realize that he has people who would die for him because those same people have been leaving him for the dogs for the last several months, keeping their distance and constantly giving him signs that they don't trust him. So don't you dare blame your own faults on him again, you blasted no-good bastard."

"You – you're taking his side?" Lupin wheezes, but Sirius rolls his eyes and says: "There are no sides here, you dolt. Unless you count the side of those in the right and those in the wrong. And Remus, you're in the latter category right now." This makes Lupin, who is trying to get up again, look at him open-mouthed as Sirius says:
"Why did I let you guys go back up here again? Oh right, so you could prove to Harry you feel sorry for your mistakes and prove you want to make things up. Not so you could just rant and put even more burdens on him or sprout nonsense that he can't be responsible for with how you constantly keep things close to your chests.
Now drop the pride, drop the ego and remember what good can come out of all this. Because unless you want Harry to remain an orphan, you better start showing some bleeding conscience a-stat, you got that?" And Lupin, who has managed to sit up, turns his head away, making me look at him in pained heartbreak.

"Get out." Two cold voices then suddenly chorus and I look at my parents shocked as they are glaring at Lupin with revulsion and anger and mum says: "Get out, Lupin. Your friendship with us obviously died alongside us and we're fine with that. But we're not fine with you not taking this chance to have something more than friends."
Dad then goes on and says: "We figured that Sirius in Azkaban and us dead would cause you to revert to those personal fears of yours. I'm a werewolf so I don't deserve to be happy. Shit like that which you tried sprouting so often before Halloween. But that you're choosing that belief over Harry and our return – no, just no.
Voldemort broke our friendship the first time and now – you're doing it the second. So get out of this room, Lupin. You are no longer welcome here with this family." And Lupin looks at the two as flabbergasted as I feel, yet Sirius seems not to feel half as surprised as he nods in pride at the two before Lupin sags out of the room.

"Can you guys do the next one. I – I don't think I can handle much more without breaking down." I whimper at them and the three nod before Sirius asks: "Who should come in next, pup?" And while I really hate myself for this, do I say: "Mr. Weasley. I – I want to be sure my new dad has someone who will support him against others."
And while I don't say their names, do Sirius and my former parents nod, knowing I mean Mrs. Weasley and whoever else they pick for my godfather as I doubt either of the three people in the room here with me are willing to give Lupin a second chance to earn that title. And so the sick man wheels himself into the room.


Dear Merlin, that was a hard one.
I seriously had tears in my eyes a few times and I really hate that I actually broke Harry and Lupin apart, not to mention that I brought an end to the Marauders. I really didn't like the idea, but when I wrote that Lupin started to shout back, I remembered something; in Canon Lupin hides behind his illness like no tomorrow.
And in most of my other stories – bar A Summer To Remember – he completely ignores that for his need to be there for Harry. But in this case I wanted to see if I could bring that side out of him. And no V.L. Crawford, that doesn't mean I replaced my hatred for Mrs. Weasley with this anger for Lupin and his self-esteem issues.
It's just part of the plot,

Venquine1990

Next up: Mr. Weasley proves how wonderful a man he is, Mrs. Weasley gets to see something she's never seen before and the three of them decide on a new godfather. Who is it going to be? Who will replace Lupin? Can any of you make a guess?