Natalie
"I gotta go" Alan suddenly said, "the baby's crying."
Hoping it wasn't anything serious, I let him go. Being over three thousand miles away from Rach made my heart ache, especially when I found out about her rashes. Charlie loves Rach, but can be so forgetful and too involved in his own little world. I knew Alan and I should have asked my sister in law to take care of Rach. But my husband kept on insisting.
It didn't help that Alan got snooty at times, like now. I know that Rach is his third, but that doesn't give him the right to use that patronizing tone.
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"you okay?" my sister asked while we had dinner at a restaurant. Our mother had shooed us, saying that we needed to get out.
"I miss my daughter" I said. "And just got into a fight with Alan"
"oh?" she sipped some wine.
"he wants to take her to a speech therapist."
"he changed his mind?" she asked.
"yeah..."
"Rach doesn't know any words? At all?"
"no...she understands though. I just don't want to push her, you know?" I got some bread, and put butter on it.
"I understand" she nodded.
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A few days passed my mother was much better, and she told me. "Nat, I really love that you came, but you should go back to your daughter. It's not good for you to be away from her this long while she is so young. Your sister's staying."
Two more days, and some more talking later, I finally went home. Alan, and Rach were there to pick me up at the airport. I was happy to see them both, though Alan and I hadn't quite settled the speech therapy issue.
I hugged my husband, and then bent down to greet my daughter, who sat in her stroller.
"hey sweetie!" I said, stuffed crocodile in hand.
She soon put on her 'who are you ?' face. While I knew that it would take her a while to get used to me again, it was hard. I noticed that her hair was longer, and that she looked chubbier.
"Rach'll get used to you again soon enough" Alan assured me.
"I got you a surprise" I gave her the little stuffed crocodile. She instantly took a liking to it, and put the thing in her mouth. I teased "Tastes good doesn't it?" Gently, I undid the strap and picked her up. She seemed wary and writhed, but Alan calmed her down.
It was wonderful to carry my daughter again! I missed her so much!
Seeing the rashes, however, wasn't so wonderful. They hadn't quite healed, and had signs of being scratched. Not even an adult can resist the temptation to scratch.
"I clipped her fingernails, with Don's help" Alan told me.
"I guess I should be glad that she wasn't near the Koi pond, when Charlie got distracted." I said sarcastically, in a whisper to my husband.
"Nat! Charlie is very careful about the pond! And how was he supposed to know that there'd be poison ivy in a public park?" Alan got defensive about his son, as usual.
"So that makes it okay for him to get distracted?" I rejoined. "What about the other dangers that could befall an unsupervised baby?"
"The rashes will heal." he used that annoying patronizing tone.
"This would not have happened with your sister!" I pointed out with growing annoyance, and decided to bring up another point.. "Think about it! If CHarlie was just a nice neighbor, and not your son, would you have trusted him with our daughter??? I don't think so..."
"I wouldn't know him as well if he were just a neighbor" Alan argued.
"come on!" I groaned. We were walking towards the carrousel area.
"Charlie really cares..."
"I really care about my nieces and nephews, but I made mistakes when I first started taking care of them! It's one thing to trust your sons with an day or evening, but two whole weeks? I should have listened to my gut!"
I walked faster with exasperation and anger. Pushing the stroller, Alan tried to keep up.
"Don's got experience...he used to take care of Charlie" he pointed out. "And..."
"Would you stop making excuses for Charlie???" I snapped.
"I'm trying to explain! Not make excuses!" he started to sound annoyed. "He meant well!"
"So did those vegan parents who starved their baby to death with soy milk, and fruit." I retorted, referring to a news story I read.
"How can you compare Charlie to them???"
"They didn't mean to harm their baby, but they did..." I began.
"Charlie's not like them at all!!!!" Alan got angrier and more defensive. "he would have done research before anything!"
"Alan..."
"He loves his sister!"
"I sure those parents loved their baby..." We had stopped walking at this point.
"Charlie is very sorry about what happened, Nat."
"Sorry isn't gonna make the rashes go away! Look at her!!!" I unrolled Rach's right sleeve.
We went on like this for a few more minutes, until Alan started to walk away.
"We're not done discussing this!" I followed and then caught up to him.
"Let's discuss this in the car" he said, not slowing down.
"Fine" I reluctantly agreed. We got my stuff, went to the car, put Rach in her car seat, got in, and continued the argument. I told him harshly "Why must you always take his side when he does crap like this?? Huh? Rach's your child too!" I remembered the incident with the earring, among other things.
Taking a deep breath, he said, firmly "I love all of my children equally"
"But you love Don more equally" I countered, "And you shelter Charlie too much"
"hoo hoo hoo...look's who's talking to me about sheltering..." he said sardonically.
Angrily, I growled "Excuse me?"
"You're the one who didn't want to give our daughter a party because 'it would be too overwhelming' " he said in that damn superior tone. "And now you refuse to get her help because it might be 'too pushy' "
"Help?? she's only one for God's sake! Taking her to speech therapy now makes as much sense as potty training a three month old"
Alan rolled his eyes at me, and slowed down the car. He sighed, "That's apples and oranges!"
"Rach'll talk when she's ready." I told him firmly, turning around to look at her. She held both the puppy and the croc, while looking tense. Her face reminded me of Alan's pensive look, at that moment.
Alan sighed again in exasperation, and we drove the rest of the way in silence, that is until we got home, and Rach was put down right away. He stiffly gave me some papers, with a map, driving directions, and an address. "I made an appointment for Rach to see a speech therapist. Come or not, it's up to you.My daughter will be getting what she needs to help her learn to live in this world, whether you show up or not."
TBC
