Alan

Two days after Nat's return, she, Rach, the boys and I sat in the waiting room of the speech therapist. Things between Nat and I were rather strained. She and I kept fighting, and she kept nagging at me. Thankfully, things were beginning to thaw a little bit.

As we waited, my daughter, with her precane, started to walk around a bit. We all watched her. She had adjusted, in her way, but it pained me that she'd never see again.

My sad musings were interrupted when a boy with down syndrome grabbed the precane from Rach, who protested. Nat got up, as did the boys, but I told them to wait and see.

"This is a good lesson for her" I told them.. "She needs to learn to deal with other kids."

Seconds later, a woman, who I assume was the other child's mother, scolded the boy, made him give it back, and then apologized to us. She then took the kid to the other side of the room.

Minutes passed and we got called. I carried Rach. The speech pathologist, named Sarah, introduced herself and lead us into a room with chairs, games, markers, and toys. She also greeted Rach.

"Good morning Rachael!"

My daughter, however, was too engaged in a stuffed strawberry that Charlie had given her.

"Rach..someone is talking to you" I encouraged her gently.

Soon, Sarah asked us about our concerns, and I told her about mine. After a while, she asked"What about you, Natalie?"

Nat replied, "I want to make sure that there is no significant developmental delay."

She asked us other questions about Rach's interactions with us.Nat made a point of telling her that Rach understood almost everything you told her, and I reinterated the issue of the tantrums.

The woman then introduced herself to Rach, who tried to take off her shoe. "hello Rachael... my name is Sarah. Today, you and I are gonna play some games! Won't that be fun?" With that, she took out a large plasic toy cow. "This is a cow" She guided Rach's hands to feel it. My daughter of course, tried to grab it.

"Rach! It's not nice to grab things!" I gently scolded, and pulled her hand back.

"Cows say moo" Sarah continued. "can you say moo?" I myself said moo, but Rach just sat there impatiently, on the floor.

Sarah pushed a botton on the toy cow, and it said moo. Rach then gave her "Gimme" whine. It took a lot of cajoling from me to even get her do the "ooo' sound in moo. Still, Sarah rewarded her with the cow. The rest of the session went even slower; neither I or Sarah could get her to say 'Baaaa' like a toy sheep that was in the office. Finally, it was over. Nat and I thanked Sarah for her time, made another appointment(at my behest) and we returned to the waiting room. The boys looked at us expectantly.

"how did it go?" Charlie asked.

"Welll...she didn't have a tantrum..." I sighed, and then gave a summary of the session.

"so you can say moo, huh?" Don used his cheery voice.. After warning her, he got Rach from me, putting her little hand on his face.

"Where's my nose?" Don asked playfully. She felt around his face, and soon had her hand on his nose. So, he told her "thanks! I was looking for it!"

"Are you hungry?" Charlie piped up. "Want some pancakes?"

"ah?"

"Pancakes" Don repeated, and we went to have breakfast.

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"It wasn't that bad, was it Nat?" I asked my wife later, in the evening. The baby had just been put to bed.

"Sarah seems to know how to handle kids." she admitted.

"the purpose of the sessions is to encourage Rach to do what should come naturally." I began. "Give it a few more sessions, think about it"

We argued a bit more, and she agreed to give it one more lesson.

"And I'm only agreeing to this becaue I like her approach, and seeing her will give us ideas." she warned me.

I sighed inwardly, remembering that this wouldn't be the last battle about Rach that we would have.

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About two years later

"I still can't believe that Rach's starting preschool!" My wife exclaimed, as I shaved.

"I told you that the time would fly" I looked at my watch, "Aren't ya gonna wake her?"

"Not for a few minutes" my wife replied. "It's too early yet.." Thankfully the school was nearby.

"But she's gotta have breakfast before we leave!" I protested. "I'll wake and help her dress, while you get dressed"

I madeoatmeal, toasted some bread, and poured orange juice for her. Because of her blindness, she was to start preschool, at the age of three. Nat and I were assured that there would be a teacher's aide, to give Rach one on one attention, and help her interact with others.

Bob had told us, "With the right help, and effort on RAch's part, she'll be mainstreamed with other kids."

Smelling the oatmeal, Rach demanded "no! wanna donut!" She was almost caught up when it came to speaking.

"It's this or nothing" I tapped on the bowl with oatmeal.It had taken me a while to learn not to point.

"wanna donut!" she whined more petulantly.

After a couple of minutes of this standoff, Donnie came in.

"hey guys!" he greeted us and turned his attention to Rach. "Ready for school, kiddo?"

"gudmornin'"" she told him happily "Wanna donut!" Rach knew that she had both her brothers wrapped around her little finger. Kids are quick to pick up on these things.

"Rach!" I scolded

Donnie noisily took a mouthful of oatmeal, which had brown sugar and cinamon mixed in, "but this oatmeal is so good!"

"no!"

" It's your last chance!" After some more cajoling, he and I got her to eat some of it, though not as much as I'd like. Thankfully, she finished her toast and orange juice.

"Where's 'lee?" she asked. Rach called Charlie 'lee, bedcause when she first starting speaking, she for some reason couldn't prounounce Charlie, and so it stuck.

"he's sick..but he'll be better soon" Don told her gently. Charlie had gotten strep throat, and stayed away from Rach, so that she wouldn't get sick.

Just before she finished, Don discretly took some pictures for Charlie.

On tha note, we dropped her off. Nat, while nervous, tried to be cheerful for Rach's sake.

Unfortunatly, we were one of the last ones to come. I could tell by how there were already so many kids in the classroom, full of toys, mats for the kids, a playhouse, and a cabinet full of supplies. Nat, Don and I introduced ourselves to the teacher.

I worried.Would the aid's help be enough? Will some learning disability, which could have resulted from that fateful fall, show up?

Before I could do any more thinking, it was time for us to go. We all gave Rach affectionate goodbyes, and I warned her about 'playing nice'.

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Some days after she started, Nat and I had a talk with the teacher, a young woman about Charlie's age, to check in and see how our daughter was adjusting.

"Rachael is a delight to have in class. She's curious about the world around her, and loves to play. However I do have some concerns" she told us.

I knew that there was a 'but' in there. "What kind of concerns?"

"For...one thing, she called another child 'smelly'. " the woman began. We all sat around her large desk. "I do not tolerate disrepect towards others"

"We'll talk to her" Nat promised, looking serious. Kids tended to say what was on their mind, and had to be taught tact.

"But that wasn't the only incident, I'm afraid. Recently, a mother brought in some Russian dish for the children. Rachael, ate a bite or two and said, and I quote 'it's yucky like poo! ' .

I took a look at Rach, who played with blocks a few feet away.

"Anything else?" Nat asked.

"My aide's been helping her with various things, especially social skills. He tells me that Rach gets bossy at times, and he's trying to get the other children to understand the concept of blindness" Rach, like Donnie, had that A personality. She was quite bossy towards her brothers.

In the car, Nat and I lectured her. We both wanted her to get along with others. What if these incidents were signs of a lerning disability? The doctors had warned about them,but I, grateful that she wasn't in the same boat as other children I had seen in the hospital, with wheelchairs, ventilators, permanent feeding tubes...,etc, put that aside. Now, with her at school, I had to face reality.

A part of me hoped that Rach just inherited my mother' s bluntness. She never had qualms about expressing her opinion. One time, when Donnie was a few months old, she told Margaret to eat less, and that bananas caused people to gain weight. My first wife, with her case of baby blues, grew angry, and I had to intervene before someone said something regrettable.

"that wasn't nice!" my wife told her. The two sat in the back seat. "calling that woman's food yucky. We're supposed to say 'no thank you' " Teaching Rach to get along with others is one thing Nat and I agreed on.

" you're gonna say sorry to that woman!" "I added. "Rach needed to learn how to get along with others. "And you're going to bed early tonight and tomorrow night"

"no!" she whined.

"Maybe you'll think about what you did!" I told her firmly.

The next day, after school ended, found, with the teacher's help, the woman. She wore jeans, and a shirt, and had her own daughter in tow.

I introduced myself, and got to the point. "My daughter has something to say."

"Sorry..." Rach mumbled. I didn't like the way she said it.

"Don't worry!" the woman said in a kind Russian accented voice "Russian food is aquired taste.."

After some small talk, I thankfully caught the boy Rach had called 'smelly', and made her apologize to him. I found myself noticing the smell of both father and son.

"If only more parents were like you!" the father, who looked to be little more than half of Donnie's age lamented.

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That weekend, the life skills specialist, paid for by the school district came for the weekly lesson. She helped Rach learn to pour herself milk, set the table, and other things.

" Hello Sammy!" I greeted her when I opened the door.

"How are you?" she asked. She held her cane, but knew her way around the house very well.

"Great! Rach started school"

"How's taht going?"

"She's had a few problems with other kids..." I said, and encouraged her to sit down.

"oh?" she looked worried.

"She called a boy smelly, and told a mother that her food was 'yucky like poo' " I explained, but assured her " Nat and I made her apologize and go to bed early"

"Good...that's what she needed." Sarah nodded, and called Nat.

"She's not here..." I added. "Patient emergency" Nat had gotten the call during my morning shower.

"Is Rachael at her usual playing spot?"

"yeah..."

With that, Sarah walked towards Rach and sat down next to her.

"hey Rachael Remember me?" Sarah used a very cheerful voice. She was a very kind, gentle woman, and knew how to treat children. I thought about setting her up with one of the boys, but that was until I found out that she already had a boyfriend.

"hi!" my daughter responded, banging away on a block with a spoon. The cat slept nearby.

"That looks like fun! May I join you?"

"Yay!"

They both banged away until Sarah transitioned into the lesson of the day.

"Today we're going to practice tying our shoes!" she announced. The night before, Sarah had called to tell me to have Rach wear tennis shoes with laces.

Carefully, she talked Rach through the process, while guiding her hands. Afterwards, Sammy asked, "Isn't that a pretty bow?"

"not like Daddy's" my daughter remarked.

"Well, if you practice, your bows will be like your daddy's" Sammy said encouragingly. "let's try it again!"

"I wanna bannana" Rach said suddenly.

I was about to scold her, when Sammy whispered, "If it's okay with you, I'd like to teach Rachael to peel her own"

After agreeing, I prompted my daughter " In this house, we say please"

"I wanna banana please"Rach told her teacher.

Sammy took that as her cue. "So do I! Why don't we get them? Where are they?"

"on the table" My daughter said, and got up. Sammy deftly got two bannanas, put them ont he edge, and had Rach find them, which she did."Open it Daddy!" she held it out to me.

Patiently, Sammy taught my daughter to open her own banana.

"I can't!" Rach roughly pulled at it, causing the fruit to be bruised. "Daddy!"

Patiently, Sammy again went over how to open a banana, and take out what Rach refered to as "the yucky part"

As the lesson went on I felt thankful Rach was able to get the help she needed to live in this world.

---------------------------------------------------

I woke up Wednesday morning, remembering that this was the day, my boys would join Nat and I at our couple's counseling.

"Don and Charlie seem to play a large part in the conflicts within your marriage" our couselor, a black man around Donnie's age remarked during the last session.

Time flew as I partook in my routine: helping Rach get ready for school, taking her there, meeting a client or two, working on a project, pick Rach up from school, go shopping while listening to her talk about her day, work some more. Since her usual sitter was not feeling well, I dropped Rach off with Amita, who didn't have classes at that time, to make the appointment.

Soon, I was there with my wife, Charlie, and Don.

After the usual introductions, Brian, the therapist, asked "Why you think, you've been asked to come?"

"Dad said that you thought it might help..." my eldest said diplomatically. It had been hard to admit to my sons that Nat and I were going to counselling, but I was willing to do what it took.

"And Natalie blames us for everthing" CHarlie blurted out. Nat, Don, and I glared at him.

"Why do you think this?" Brian asked carefully.

"Don and I are her scapegoats" my youngest son continued. " because,..."

"I didn't bring you here to fight, Charlie!" I reprimanded him.

"Perhaps, we should hear Charlie out" the therapist recommended gently.

" Natalie resents us coming over" he accused.

"I do not!" my wife argued.

Ignoring her, Charlie continued "even though Don and I keep Dad company and help him with Rach when she works late."

Then, it turned into the same old fight. Nat and Charlie argued for all of two mintues before Donnie stepped in to defend his brother. I, tried to calm everyone down, as did the therapist. Things got so intense and nasty between them that at one point, Natalie said,

"I can't take this anymore!" she turned to me "YOUR SONS ARE RUINING OUR MARRIAGE!"

TBC