Natalie
Rach spent several minutes talking to her father on the phone. It broke my heart. She told Alan that she missed him, and wanted to 'go home'. It had been a hard decision to separate from Alan, but our marriage wasn't working despite all efforts. It didn't help that my soon to be ex husband wouldn't budge on many things. My daughter understood that a phone was something you put on your ear, and it allowed one to talk to someone who was somewhere else, though she was still confused about the separation.
We stayed with a friend of mine, Rose who was single with a nice three bedroom she inherited.
"Rach is taking it hard isn't she?" my friend asked. We were in the dining room, having just finished dinner.
"She adores her father" I explained.
Alan must have calmed her down because she finally put the phone on the floor. Gently, I hung it up, and gave her a hug.
"You're gonna see Daddy very soon!" I assured her.
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All too soon, I had to drop Rach off at Alan's place, which used to be ours. As we drove, I almost wished for there to be traffic, so that I could be just that much longer with my baby.
With a groan, I noticed that Don's SUV was in the driveway. He answered the door, happily greeting Rach, while giving me an irritated the only thing he said to me was "You're late"
"By a few minutes. Is your Dad home? I need to talk with him about something"
"He's busy cooking dinner" he replied stiffly, and in a 'don't push it tone". Rach, after hugging Don had gone to look for Alan.
"Okay, it can wait." I shrugged. I had wanted to talk to Alan about the possibility of enrolling Rach in judo for the excersise, discipline, and most importantly, self protection.
I called goodbye to Rach, and with a heavy heart, left.
I tried to cheer myself up by going to a movie, but the protagonist's daughter reminded me of Rach. I thought of her the whole evening.
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At school, she acted out by not listening to the teacher, and not playing nice with other kids. I explained the situation to the teacher, who nodded and promised to keep that in mind.
"Why were you mean to that boy?" I demanded from my daughter, after one incident.
"dunno" she pouted.
Alan and I tried to be civil, for Rach's sake. We mostly talked to each other via voice mails.
"You didn't pack her green jacket. when's a good time for me to pick it up?" was one example of this.
Rach started judo lessons eventually. We found a good teacher, who had experience with teaching blind children, thanks to Megan.
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Finally, Alan and I had our first meeting with the mediator. While it would be months before we could get the ball rolling, Alan and I wanted to get things straightened out before then. We all sat in a small room with a large dark table, and three gray chairs. The mediator, a man around my age, did a little speech, and explained a few rules.
With that, Alan opened his leather briefcase, which I had given him for his last birthday, and took out some papers.
"I made a list of a few things I want to see in the divorce agreement." Alan passed out copies to me and the mediator. I began to read it.
1. continued joint custody
2. major decisions regarding health and life are to be made by both parents
3. Natalie could have Rachael every Christmas, Easter and Mother's day in exchange, She'd be with me every father's day. Passover, and thanksgiving
3b. Natalie and I take turns having Rach on New Years, the 4th of July, and her birthday
4. expenses relating to Rachael exceeding two hundred dollars are to be split between both of us.
"Father's day and Passover is fair, but I want her with me at least every other thanksgiving." I told Alan calmly.
"I don't celebrate or believe in Christmas or Easter" he reminded me. "so it's more important for me to have her during thanksgiving!"
Thanksgiving was very important to Alan. While we were together, he never wanted to spend Thanksgiving away from the boys, preferring that we and Rach go visit my parents during the Christmas season.
"You don't have to do anything holiday related if you were to have her on Christmas. Just explain that you don't celebrate it, and do something fun with her" I suggested.
"Chrisms is not worth her not joining me and the boys for Thanksgiving" he grew stubborn. "I want all of my kids with me!"
"you could have a special dinner with your daughter the week before...": the mediator suggested kindly to me. "Alan's request is reasonable given that he doesn't celebrate most of the other major holidays."
I began to remember what a friend of mine had said "Don't fall into the trap of using Rach as leverage or property! Think of her!"
Swallowing, and thinking of my daughter, I suggested, "Could I...come to thanksgiving dinner?" Alan and the mediator looked surprised. "Thanksgiving is important to both of us, and it'll do her good to see us sharing a meal together"
the mediator turned to Alan"Would you object to that?"
"No" he told him, but I sensed the worry. Would the boys and I be able to keep the peace?
"Good" the mediator then asked me "Is there anything you'd like to add?"
"Not really, we don't own any property" I answered after some thinking. "But I'll pay half the rent of the house until the lease expires" It was only fair.
"That's not necessary." Alan assured me.
"We leased the house together" I reminded him. "And I...I'm the one who initiated our..separation."
"Don't worry about it" he insisted.
"The lease is in both our names"
Alan started to say something, but my cell rang. I had a patient emergency. Quickly, we agreed on a time and place for the next meeting, and I left.
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One morning some days later, Rachael got a cold while she was with me. I called the school, and let Alan know. He, of course came over right away with a large bowl of his divine chicken soup, which I swear could revive the dead, and other things. I got the owner of a patient of mine, an internist ,to come over in exchange for several free checkups.
"She needs lots of rest and fluids." the doctor told us. "Take her to the pediatrician if she doesn't get better in a few days." A part of me felt guilty. Could the stress of the separation have made her sick?
Later, Alan again tried to feed her soup, but she refused.
"no!"
The boys came to see her in the evening. I stayed out of the way, while they visited with her. Due to Rach's being sick, Alan and I focused all of our conversation on what she needed.
"Why don't you bring her to the house?" I over heard Charlie suggest to Alan.
"I don't want to move her unless I absolutely have to. ."
"I got you a teddy" Don told her.
Just then my friend came in. I explained the situation to her.
"poor little girl!" she commiserated.
"Would you like some soup? Alan made enough for ten" I offered.
She accepted, and served herself some.
An hour passed and my brother called: I could barely listen as he had horrible news for me.
TBC
