If We Had Hearts: After Sora had selflessly sacrificed herself for Kairi and became a heartless, a nobody was created. Solitary, wandering, not sure how she became or where to go her Nobody walked the streets of Twilight Town only to be found by the Leader of Organization XIII. He gave her a purpose, he gave her a name: Roxas.
Author's Note: This story centers on Roxas and her life with Organization XIII and while Xion will make an appearance I'm focusing more on our two favorite nobodies Roxas and Axel.
Chapter 3:Absence and Fulfillment
Roxas lay on her bed staring up at the ice cream stick she'd held onto tafter her last meet up with Axel. He was gone now, off to castle oblivion, and left her with a thousand question racing through her head, not to mention this uncomfortable twisting sensation in her chest that made it hard for her to sleep, or even breathe.
These...feelings… because she had no other way to describe what she was experiencing, were confusing and unsettling. She even approached Saix about the change in herself, and the man simply stared blankly, and spoke in his usual monotone.
"Don't put too much thought into this nonsense, Roxas. Nobodies do not have hearts… therefore nobodies do not have emotions. However, those of us in the organization are different, because all of us remember what it's like to have hearts. We may not remember what our true names were, but the memories of them live deep in our psyche, allowing us to think and act in irrational ways. What you're experiencing isn't truly your emotions, but the memory of the emotions of your former self."
"My former self…" Roxas whispered and tightly gripped the stick before setting it aside. "What former self… why is it when I ask a question, instead of a straight answer I just end up asking more questions." She sat up and ruffled her hair til the long tresses covered her face. She groaned and rocked herself. "If these feelings aren't mine then where are they coming from… why does my chest hurt whenever I think of Axel… and why do I get all these strange urges to-"
She thought of that time she lay naked under him on the bed, his eyes sharp as he studied her with a disapproving frown. She could remember the scent of his skin, the touch of his fingers in her hair, the sound of his rich voice.
Fiery tingles prickled against her skin and an uncomfortable ache pitched in her let out a gasp and rolled onto her side covering her mouth. Her face had gone bright red and her body started to trembled. What… what was that? What was that sensation? Her breathing went ragged and she wiped sweat away from her face and temple.
"Axel…" she whimpered and curled up into a ball. "What have you done to me?"
~Castle Oblivion~
Axel let out a large sneeze and rubbed his nose with a sniffle. Larxene and Marluxia gaved him a puzzled look.
"What was that?" Larxene scolded. "I've never seen or heard a nobody sneeze before. Were you poking fun just now?"
"Hmmm? No, I honestly don't know where that came from. Must be something in the air of this place… or maybe I'm just allergic to your company."
"Ha, ha, very funny." Larxene hissed out and tossed her pixie blonde hair in a huffing motion. "You know…" she continued after a moment. "You seem pretty intrigued in this Sora kid." She referred to the guest they'd pulled in who was wandering the rooms of Castle Oblivion downstairs.
Axel's eyes went cool and he leaned back against the wall. He'd met the young keyblade master for the first time. Roxas' former self… or better put, her other half. It was a rare and phenomenal feat for a person and their nobody to coincide with each other. Yes, he was very intrigued.
"Are you telling me you're not Larxene?"
"I haven't decided yet." Larxene laughed wondering what sorts of tortures she could ensue on the new toy. "I think what intrigues me more is, what you see in her."
"There was a time when she became a heartless… and when one becomes a heartless-"
"-they lose their minds and their feelings and are consumed by the darkness." Larxene finished, thoroughly bored with the explanation already.
"Right… but not Sora. She was able to hold onto her feelings even as a heartless. There's only one other person who's been able to do just that."
"It's the strength of her heart." Larxene deduced, her eyes suddenly sharpening with realization and interest. "That's what interests you… why the keyblade chose Sora's heart."
"To unlock the mysteries of the heart. Is that not the Organization's mission?"
Yes, Larxene thought with a laugh, but that's not the reason you in particular are interested. Larxene knew, just by looking at him, that his interests were purely selfish.
"Could you imagine what sort of calamity would ensue if Roxas were to meet her other half? Just imagine the twisted look on her face. It would be…. Delicious."
Axel's eyes went fierce and he turned his back on Larxene.
"That's not gonna happen… the organization needs those two separated."
"For the time being anyway…" Larxene crooned and watched Axel vanish into the dark abyss of his portal.
~Day 23: Twilight Town~
For the next couple of days after Axel had left, Roxas tried to ignore the stir in her body and complete her missions. She was put in charge of Xion, and guided the newbie through basic training and simple tests. She originally thought Xion was a female, and found out he had more of a masculine presence and structure hiding under that cloak. He wasn't tall and lean like Axel, but petite and athletic. He was young, probably the same age as her, or close enough to it. He was about her height too, just inching over her by a nose.
His constant quiet presence made her a bit uneasy, and he wasn't much help during the missions. He pretty much watched and ascertained what was going on, and let Roxas handle the dirty work. Which was probably for the best seeing as the guy couldn't even speak.
They finished up the mission for the day, and Roxas stretched out before turning to Xion.
"I've got somewhere to be again today. You go on ahead without me."
Everyday since Axel left she'd bought ice cream for herself, and gone to the clocktower. Even though Axel wasn't there to enjoy it with her, she made a secret promise to herself to continue to go even alone. She hoped that one day Axel would pop up, and things would get back to normal. She was tired of having all these fake emotions racing through her, making her think strange thoughts.
She missed him, Roxas had realized that after the first day. Real feelings or not, there was no denying she wanted to see him, no denying she wanted to hear his voice, his laugh, see his smile. If anyone could give a straight and clear explanation to what was going on inside her it was him, so she hoped he could come back soon, and they could talk out what was happening between them.
She started to walk away from Xion… but a sound made her stop.
"R-Roxas."
"What?" She turned around, her blonde hair kicking into her face at the fast motion. She watched Xion turn to face her, his blue eyes piercing from under the hood.
"Roxas is your name." Xion spoke, for the first time to her.
Eyes wide as saucers she fully faced him and nodded.
"Y-yes, it is."
She held out a hand as Xion turned and left through the portal. She had wanted to hear more from him, but it was obvious Xion had said what he had wanted to say… as minute as it was. Still it left her fuzzy and warm to know that Xion's first word had been her name. For some reason, it made her smile. Perhaps she was becoming an influence on him the way Axel had been on her.
"Roxas, huh?" She laughed a bit and set off to get her ice cream.
~Castle Oblivion~
Axel watched Sora through the viewing globe. The further in she went, the more memories she lost… until Namine had emerged into her memories. It was Marluxia's plan to warp and toy with Sora's memories, putting the rift between her and her friends, and making her a puppet for the Organization… the organization Marluxia intended to overthrow.
He didn't have proof yet that Marluxia was the traitor… but considering the man had used his current hiatus from missions and grunge work to thoroughly take over Castle Oblivion, made Axel suspicious. Saix had told him to find the traitors hiding in the ranks and dispose of them… but just how many were in on it?
"Everything's going according to plan."
"You had your fun on the first floor, now it's my turn."
Frowning, Axel flicked a card to Larxene, pressing a kiss to it she sauntered over and grasped his chin teasingly.
"I'm not just going to give it to her."
"Don't break her," Axel warned with a hint of concern in his voice.
"Do I detect a soft spot?"
"We need her," Axel quickly shot back and the sudden protectiveness in his voice surprised even him.
"Relax, I'm not gonna break the toy. I'm not stupid."
"Sora is the key, we'll need her if we're going to take over the organization." He grunted when Larxene pressed a finger to his lips.
"I know you're in on it too… but keep it under your hood. At least until the time is right." Larxene laughed and strolled off. Axel smirked as he watched her leave. So, Larxene was in on it too.
"You would have been wise to have done the same, Larxene."
~Day 25: Twilight Town~
While Xion wouldn't get the chatterbox award, it was nice to finally hear his voice. Roxas thought his quiet persona suited him well, and wondered what she could do to let him open up just a little more each day. She taught him what she could, and let him observe and collect items while she took care of the heartless foes. Twilight town didn't seem to have a large abundance of heartless, but it was enough to keep her busy, and a good teaching tool for Xion to learn the ropes.
"Roxas..." Xion suddenly spoke up, his voice soft and soothing not quite a man's or child's, but that young teenage gruff. He lifted his hood, and for the first time since he'd joined the organization Roxas saw his face.
He had long black hair that tickled around his wide shoulders, eyes a cool ocean blue, and the muscles in his face were lean and princely. He offered up a smile that would turn normal girls to puddles at his feet.
"Best of luck today."
"Y-yeah," she returned the smile, the momentary surprise of his revealing calming down. What was it about him, Roxas wondered, that reminded her a bit of Axel. The two were nothing alike, in looks or personality, but something about both of them just put her at ease. The thought of Axel made her briefly look away, there was a flutter in her chest which she recognized as the sign of missing him. He liked to creep up on her like that, she noticed, and wished she could put all of these feelings back where they came from. Turning her attention back to Xion she reached out and took his hand. She didn't noticed the surprised look on his face as she started to tug and yank him behind her, or the careful study his eyes were taking of her.
"Come on, let's get to work."
~Castle Oblivioin~
Perfect… now he had two distinctive traitors among the group that was sent to the Castle. The ones left to decipher whether or not numbers 4 through 6 were also amongst the traitors Saix had warned him about.
He very much doubted Lexaeus' involvement, the man had a moral code even as a nobody… and Vexen hated Marluxia with every fiber of his non-existence. Zexion was the most likely to be somewhat aware if not involved. He didn't much care to dirty his own hands, but he was the kind of person who watched others stack the dominoes, and laugh when they fall.
"Now then, how do I go about this? Hmmm perhaps it's best if I just wait, and see where this road leads before I decide to block it off." Axel talked to himself and rubbed his chin, grimacing from the traces of Larxene's grip still lingering. He really did dislike that woman.
He turned his eyes to the viewing globe again, watching Larxene play her game with the pretty young keyblade master. Sora's face, particularly the expressive eyes made him think of Roxas. Thinking of Roxas made him think about the kiss.
He touched his lips with his gloved fingers. He wondered what had possessed him to do such a thing. He just remembered seeing that look on her face, one of worry, and loneliness. He wanted to give her something to think about, something that would erase the sadness. What he probably did was just confuse her… and himself.
Roxas was the only organization member he actually enjoyed spending time with. Because he'd been so involved with her training and initiation he'd gotten the chance to mold her a bit, make her see the world differently from the other organization members.
He worried that his absence might change all that. What would happen if Xigbar, Xaldin, or god help him Demyx were to get their claws in. He had to hurry and finish this mission so he could get back to her, he wanted to see her, wanted-
"Whoa!" Axel jumped and backed away from the globe to run a hand through his hair. "Where'd that come from?" Hurry back to her? Wanted to see her? Just what sort of nonsense put those kinds of thoughts into a guy's head?
It troubled him, more so than he would have liked to admit, that he missed her. Calming himself down Axel lounged back on the wall and took a deep breath. Ever since he'd met her his own head was messed up by the flooding emotions she'd make him remember. When she was around, it was like he had his heart back and it was thriving and beating in his chest.
Before Roxas had come along Axel had been fine just dilly dallying with his missions and work… but now that she was here, he hated work, hated missions, hated being involved with anything that took him away from her.
What was she doing to him?
He was pondering over that very thing as Larxene popped back up wiping her forehead.
"Whew, throwing that fight wore me out."
"Heh, looked to me like you just plain lost." Axel poked fun enjoying the way her face screwed up and her temper flared.
"What? How dare you? You don't understand the nuances of-"
"-an ungainly effort." A new voice popped up and Vexen appeared from a cloud of darkness. "How could you be humbled by someone of such limited significance? You shame the organization." Vexen lectured Larxene, fanning the flames of the Pixie's temper.
"How can we help you, Vexen? It's not often we see you topside."
"I've come to offer you my help. You seem to think that this Sora is someone of significance, but I remain unconvinced. I think an experient is in order to see if she really is of any value to us." Vexen smiled wickedly.
"Here we go again, this is all just an excuse so you can run your little experiments." Larxene hissed.
"I'm a scientist, experimenting is what I do."
"Whatever, you can do what you want. However, I think testing Sora, is just an excuse for testing out your valet." Axel eyed the Riku copy that stood off to the side silent in the corner of the room.
"Valet? He is the product of pure research."
"What he really is, is a toy."
That, Axel was forced to admit, was the truth. As they argued over what to do with the new Riku, Axel found himself feeling a bit sorry for the puppet. The Riku replica begged and pleaded as his heart was warped and his memories changed to make use. His fellow organization members carried on without a sign of remorse or sympathy. Axel was forced to try and do the same. After all, in the end a tool was all the replica would ever become. No matter what kind of feelings and memories Namine put into the boy's head they were all just lies hiding the fact he was an empty soul.
And that sentiment… Axel thought with a sneer… hit just a little too close to home.
Yay another chapter done. I plan on including more Chain of Memories storyline into this since the two run in tandem, but I still don't know if I'm going to do a full on CoM FemSora fic yet. I've been playing with the rough draft I started and I'm still not happy with the results yet. We'll see what happens.
Next Chapter: Two friends, and a Keyblade
