If We Had Hearts: After Sora had selflessly sacrificed herself for Kairi and became a heartless, a nobody was created. Solitary, wandering, not sure how she became or where to go her Nobody walked the streets of Twilight Town only to be found by the Leader of Organization XIII. He gave her a purpose, he gave her a name: Roxas.
Author's Note: This story centers on Roxas and her life with Organization XIII and while Xion will make an appearance I'm focusing more on our two favorite nobodies Roxas and Axel.
Chapter 5: First Taste of Grief
The first traitor has been eliminated. Before the week is out, all who betrayed the organization will be dealt with. You should know, both Sora and Riku are wandering around the castle, and are being used in one form or another by the other organization members. I think it best if I halt my reports for the time being.
Axel.
Saix stared at the message, absorbing the information before disposing of it. So the first step was taken, but Axel's need to halt the reports spelled trouble. It would mean that there was more than one person who antagonized the Organization's goals and needs. Gritting his teeth he returned to the Mission room.
Xigbar lounged back on the couch, but at the sight of Saix immediately stood up. "Xemnas went off to his special place, he said you can report to him when he gets back. Any news from the Loser Castle?"
"I just received word from Axel… he's eliminated the first traitor… but has explained he can't send any more messages for some time. Which means it's begun."
"I wonder which one of them got the ghost first. My Money's on Larxene, annoying little harpy." Xigbar grunted. "I hope she went screaming."
"Who knows… but that's not all he reported. It appears both Sora and Riku are in Castle Oblivion."
"You're kidding!" Xigbar had to laugh. "Oh man, what are the odds? Are you sure it was Axel who eliminated the traitor?"
"Who knows… but with both key bearers there, it may come to pass that none of the organization members that were sent to Castle Oblivion will survive."
"So what?" Xigbar grunted and waved a hand in the air. "Who cares if those losers are dead? I say good riddance!"
"Saix!" Xigbar turned to see Roxas standing just inside the door. Her eyes narrowed and confused. "I… I just heard from Demyx that Organization members are being wiped out.
Saix and Xigbar exchanged looks before looking back to the younger member. Both of them remained silent as she approached.
"So is it true then… about Castle Oblivion?"
"That's none of your concern." Saix said quickly, seeing the hysteria forming.
"What about Axel?" Something about the look in Saix's eyes had her gut twisting and she desperately wanted to be sick.
"Gone…" He said after a moment deciding it best she was distanced from Axel. "He may have disappeared for good."
"What?" Her blue eyes go wide with shock. There was pain, in those eyes, something sharp and aching that brought fire into her chest making it hard to breathe. The older organization members stepped away leaving her alone in the mission room to cope.
She stared at her hands, seeing them shake. Her entire body felt strange… She'd never known such pain… wounds she understood, fatigue she understood… but this kind of pain was like being attacked from the inside. She held her chest and stomach falling to her knees.
That's how Xion found her, curled up on the ground trying desperately to breathe.
"Roxas!" Xion ran to her kneeling beside her and lifting her up to cradle. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"I…" She whimpered and looked up. Xion was taken aback as he saw those beautiful blue eyes spill over with tears. "I don't know…"
~Hours later~
Roxas had never cried before. She didn't know what it was or why she had done it. It was a terrible experience, unable to breathe, unable to speak, her body just reacting in ways she just couldn't understand. Xion had stayed with her, sat with her in her room til she'd calmed down. It had helped, a great deal, to have him there.
Still the organization wouldn't wait. They both had missions to go on, and today they'd be separated for the first time since Xion started missions. Still she was confident in him, she knew he had the skills to handle missions on his own… and it was time she concentrated on her own.
Today she was with Xigbar, it had been awhile since she'd shared mission space but seeing as they were going to a new world, a place called Agrabah, Saix thought it best that she was accompanied.
She lingered on even after collecting her quota. She destroyed another heartless, watching the creature vanish to smoke, and the heart rise from its blackness to be collected.
"Hey… what happens to heartless when they're destroyed?"
"The hearts remain…" Xigbar explained, glad she was back to her curious and questioning self. He hadn't like the idea of being stuck with a whimpering girl. "Then those hearts are gathered to create the great Kingdom Hearts."
The bodies of the heartless are destroyed… Roxas thought… but the hearts, their essence, live on.
"So...can you tell me what remains when a Nobody is destroyed?"
Xigbar grunted, knowing exactly where this was going. Still he spoke the truth… or as much of it as he knew.
"What's there to leave behind? We were never supposed to "be" in the first place."
"Then, what happened to the organization members at Castle Oblivion?" Roxas stepped closer, the ache in her stomach and chest returning. She could feel the tears wanting to well up but she pushed them back. "Where'd they go?"
"Nothing is left of them." As far as he knew anyway… Xigbar tapped his fingers on his thigh impatiently.
"Which means… I'll never see them again?"
"That's right." Not wanting to see the waterworks that were surely on their way Xigbar turned his back. "You coming?"
"Axel…" Roxas slowly opened her eyes, waited for the calm to come… The memories and images of Axel filling her up, threatening to spill the tears again. "Damn it I hate this…" She stubbornly wiped them away. Roxas stood in the hot sun, sweating under her black coat, but feel cold right down to the bone. She cradled herself shaking out a breath to calm the tears. She would NOT cry again. She would NOT feel this way!
"Why do I-" The shock of pain in her head shook her out of the crying fest. She held it, and looked around as her vision blurred. Xigbar turned, shocked at how pale she'd suddenly gone, those blue eyes of her going blank.
"Kiddo? Oi!" He rushed back to catch her as she collapsed to the ground. "Damn it, what the hell?" He picked her up and brought her through the portal. Saix and Xion looked up as them slipped in.
"Xigbar, what happened?" Xion rushed over to them grunting as Roxas' limp body was tossed into his nearly making him topple backwards. "Roxas?"
"What did you do?" Saix accused narrowing his eyes at Xigbar.
"Nothing! We finished the mission and were heading back and suddenly she just collapsed."
"Xion… take Roxas to her room and lay her down. I will find Xemnas and inform him of what's happened."
"She'll be alright, won't she, Saix?" Xion looked hopeful but only got silence in return. He shifted Roxas in his arms so her head cradled in the crook of his neck. He could feel her breathing, slow and steady… still alive.
He did as he was told, putting her down on her bed and stood watching her lie still as death…. But alive… he told himself. Roxas was still alive.
He felt the uncomfortable twist in his gut… and wondered if this was the pain Roxas had been talking about before. When he'd found her in the Mission room hours before she'd looked so ill. He knew he should have convinced her to stay at base… he probably could have convinced Saix to let her take a day off… let her relax so she could get better.
She hadn't wanted to, she'd wanted to continue her job… wanted to keep going. He admired that about her.
"I'll work twice as hard for both of us, Roxas. I'll take on your missions as well as mine if I have to. Just get better…" He took her hand, squeezed it. "Get better soon."
~Day 49~
Days had passed but Roxas continued to sleep. Xion worked tirelessly, exploring worlds and eliminating heartless, and collecting as many hearts as he could get. It was strange… the more Roxas slept, the stronger Xion felt… it was as if his inner self was telling him to fight hard to protect her.
After every mission he'd return to Roxas' side, and watch her sleep for a time. He'd found a beautiful world, a place by the beach. He loved the sound of waves splashing across the sand, the sweet and salty scent of the sea, and the gentle touch of the breeze on his cheeks. He wanted to show it to her. Wanted to sit on the sand and watch the sunset much as they did in Twilight Town.
He pulled the shell from his pocket, the pretty patterns catching to the eye, a beautiful semblance of the land he'd discovered. He set it down with the others he'd placed on her bedside, admired the rainbow of colors they made against the stark gray sheets of her bed.
"I hope… you can join me next time."
~Castle Oblivion~
Uneasy, and a little scared Sora stood in front of the giant egg shaped dome. While the explanation Namine had given her made some sense.. She still worried if she'd retain all the memories she'd lost. More so, she worried about the memories she'd gained… all those of Namine.
"You sure about this?"
"Yes… Your true memories are too important, Sora. Your connection to the people most important to you, are a big part of who you are. You love Riku, don't you?"
Blushing Sora turned her back to her and clutched her chest.
"Yes… Yes I do love him."
"Then you shouldn't have any doubts about his love either. When two people share the same love, it's special… and should never be tampered with. I'm sorry for that."
"Namine don't…" Sora turned back and placed her hands on her shoulders. "It wasn't your fault. I know that. In the end you did the right thing by telling me the truth."
"I know…" She touched Sora's hand smiling. "Putting your memories back together may take a little time… but I'll be sure to take care of you… of all of you." She looked around at Donald and Goofy.
"Gee, when we wake up… we won't remember who you are anymore." Goofy said with a sad voice and expression.
"And then how are we gonna thank you?" Donald asked with big wide eyes. His bill turned down in a pout.
"I got it… I'll write a message here in my journal." Jiminy pat the book he always carried. "It'll say Thank Namine."
"Oh good, that makes me feel better." DOnald smiled and looked to Goofy. He nodded in return then waved at Namine and Sora.
"Well Good Night then Namine."
"Goodnight Goofy." Naimine laughed a little. She looked to Sora and smiled. "You too, Sora."
"Alright…"
"This may have all started with a lie…" Namine clutched her hands together. "However, I really am glad I was able to meet you."
"Me too… when I first met you… and when I remembered your name. I was happy. Those feelings Namine, those weren't a lie. I can promise you that."
"Mmmmm…" Namine smiled. "Okay… Goodbye."
"No, not goodbye." She turned to her fully and took her hand closing both hers around it. "When I wake up, I'll find you. Then you and I will be friends for real. Promise me that, okay?"
"You're gonna forget making that promise" Namine said with amusement.
"If the chain of memories is broken, the memory will still be there, right?" Sora explained using Namine's own words to prove her point. Sora watched the flicker of emotions across Namine's face until they rested on a smile.
"Okay, then. It's a promise."
Sora let go of her hands only to hook her pinky around Namine's. The promise sealed and the two new friends smiled at each other. Sora climbed into the pod and turned around as the doors closed around her.
"Sora...some of your memories lied deep in the shadows of your heart. I won't be able to find them… but don't worry, because you made other promises to the two people who matter most to you. They are your light. Remember them and all the memories lost in the shadows will come into the light."
"The people who matter most to me…"
"Look at the charms… I tampered with their appearance and background when I changed your memories. However when you thought about them just once, they returned back to the way they were. Hold them… and remember."
As the sleep began to take hold she cradled the stars on the end of her braid and the pieces of an unfinished charm in her hands. The two most important people in her life…
"It's a charm… so long as you have it I'll always be with you. So promise me we'll each each other again!"
Riku the person she loved more than anyone…
"Promise me you'll find him...and both come back to me."
...and the other whose friendship she coveted more than anyone.
"Kairi!"
Yay! I so happy I finally finished this chapter. I'm so happy I got he chance to do any writing at all actually. Sorry this took so long!
Next Chapter: Familiar Face
