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Summary- Felicity enlists Thea's help to give Oliver the news of impending parenthood. Her plans, however, are ruined by Roy.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Arrow
Happy reading!
"Earth to Felicity!"
Thea's voice reverberated off the steel walls of the Bunker as she waved her hand in front of the blonde's blank face. Pursing her lips, Thea put her hands on her hips and leaned over to stare into Felicity's glassy eyes.
"Felicity! You in there?" She snapped her fingers in front of Felicity's vision.
Felicity jumped causing her elbow to slip off the armrest, "Yea- What!?"
Thea straitened and crossed her arms, "Are you okay? I've been calling your name for five minutes."
She smiled wanly, "Yeah. I was just thinking."
Felicity had been racking her brain for a way to tell Oliver that they were expecting a baby ever since yesterday afternoon's disaster. She was sure that Oliver would come home and demand to know why she was acting so strangely but that had never happened. Oliver had worked late and Felicity was already down in the bunker monitoring the team when he rushed in to suit up to join the others.
They had had a busy night, there were several burglaries and Felicity had found a few places that she thought might have been their child kidnapper's hideout, but the team had thoroughly searched them and nada. By the time they came back, it was four o'clock in the morning and everyone was dead on their feet, especially her and as soon as she and Oliver got home, they both fell asleep. That morning they got ready for work as usual and Felicity waited with baited breath for him to bring up her odd behavior but he never did.
Honestly, she wasn't that surprised. He had a lot on his mind. Felicity knew that Oliver was really feeling the stress to catch Avery Banks because more and more people were reporting missing children. Not to mention the new legislation Oliver was trying to get passed which was taking up a lot of his time.
That morning during her (decaffeinated) coffee break Felicity decided that she would take her time to try to come up with a memorable way to tell Oliver he was going to be a father. In hindsight, she should have done that from the get-go instead of rushing in with all of her anxiety and insecurities and no backup plan what-so-ever, which was unusual for her. She normally tried to have backup plans to her backup plans. She found they came in handy for her line of work
Thea laughed, "About what? The cause for human existence?"
Felicity shook her head in exasperation, "No."
"For someone who likes to talk, you're giving very cryptic answers," Thea raised her eyebrow and sat down in the chair opposite of Felicity, "What's up? You know you can tell me anything."
Felicity bit her lip, her mind going into overdrive to come up with something plausible. She couldn't tell Thea before Oliver.
Or maybe she could.
A smile crept onto her lips. She had an idea, but first, she needed to tell Thea she was going to be an aunt.
The brunette narrowed her eyes, "Felicity? Why do you have that expression on your face."
"Wouldn't you like to know," Felicity spun around and pushed herself up out of her chair, chuckling to herself. She knew Thea would most likely be trying to figure out what was going on until she got back.
Picking up her purse, she looked behind her to see Thea staring dumbfounded after her. Shaking her head, she didn't try to cover up the self-satisfied grin that was covering her face or the sparkle in her eyes. Why didn't she think up this before? This would be perfect!
When it came to hacking, Felicity was the queen (quite literally) and she didn't mind breaking out her skills for Team Arrow or for anything she needed, really, so she was not ashamed to say that she used her probably (and by probably, she means most definitely) illegal back-channels to expedite the process of Etsy's delivery services.
That also meant that one Eliza Jones and one Mary Anderson would not be getting their expected packages today, but Felicity left them both a nice surprise of 200 dollars in their bank accounts as payment, so she didn't feel too bad.
Apparently, there were a lot of expecting women in Star City who needed to break the news to their sisters or sister-in-laws because Felicity had had a lot of presents to choose from and ultimately Mary and Eliza won her appreciation (what, it wasn't her fault that they had good taste. They should take it as a compliment.)
She wrapped her gifts in the floral paper she found in her closet full of just-in-case-she-forgot-someone's-birthday presents. Glancing at the clock in the bedroom, she knew that Oliver wouldn't stop working for at least five hours, hopefully, enough time for Thea to acquire what she wanted by tonight because she wanted to tell Oliver as soon as he got to the lair.
She grabbed her phone and hit speed-dial and waited for Thea to pick-up but it turned out not to be long because the phone barely rang once before she answered, "Finally! I have been calling you non-stop! What the heck was that this morning? It's been killing me! What do you know? Who's getting married?"
"Not even a hello?" Felicity asked dryly, well aware that Thea wanted to be let in on the secret. She had 45 missed calls to prove it.
There was a huff from the other end, "Felicity!"
Felicity laughed, "Okay, okay! Come to the mansion. You'll find out soon enough."
"I'll be there in 5!"
Felicity opened her mouth to say there was no way she could get out of the city in 5 minutes, let alone the Queen mansion, safely at least, but all she heard was a dial tone. Shaking her head, she hung up and threw the phone on the big California King. She couldn't wait to tell Thea, she had been hinting that she would love to have a niece or nephew well before she and Oliver even got married so she knew that the news would be well received by at least one Queen.
Going downstairs with the packages and her computer, she sat at the dining room table to do some work when she heard the front door open. Looking at the time she noted it was exactly 5 minutes from when Thea called. That girl could defy anything if she put her mind to it.
She came running into the dining room, "I'm here!"
Felicity raised an eyebrow, "I see that. I also can't believe you got here so fast. If I wasn't seeing it, I wouldn't have believed that it was possible without breaking something... Other than the speed limit."
"You underestimate my abilities," She flounced over to Felicity's side.
"So? What juicy piece of gossip do you know?" Thea's eyes sparkled.
Felicity smiled, trying not to burst with happiness, "Open your presents."
She pushed the two carefully wrapped gifts towards Thea who looked at them in confusion, "It's not my birthday. You know that."
"Thea, just open them! This one first." Felicity sighed in exasperation, handing her a medium cubed box.
Thea looked at her skeptically but took the package. Felicity could hardly contain herself as she hovered over Thea, watching her facial expression.
"What is this?" Thea asked as she pulled out a coffee cup that was stuffed with cloth.
Felicity bit her lip, eyes sparkling, "Turn it around!"
She watched as Thea rotated it and slowly read, "It says, 'Freak out you're going to be an Aunt!'"
Thea whipped her head around so fast to look at her, Felicity was afraid that she gave herself whiplash, "What!?"
Felicity laughed at her shocked face and wide eyes, "Look inside."
With shaking hands, Thea quickly put down the mug and pulled out two rolled up onesies.
Felicity watched Thea's expression, who was scanning the words the unbelieving eyes, "What do they say?"
"This one says, 'Don't make me call my Aunt'," Thea reached for the other one, "And this one says, 'If mom says no, my aunt will say yes.'"
"Wait, what does this mean? Are you serious?" Thea whispered in shock.
Felicity sniffed and wiped at tears that were starting to form, "Just open the other present."
Thea snatched the present off the dining room table and tore into it. She took out the first shirt and held it up. It said, 'The world's best sister auntie' with 'sister' crossed out.
Thea put down the shirt then held up the other one, "'Auntie Squad'. You have got to be kidding me!"
She lowered her arms, the shirt still clutched in her hands and tears in her eyes, "Felicity!? You're having a baby?"
By this point, Felicity had tears running down her face. It felt nice to have someone other than just her know. It made it more real somehow, "Yeah. I'm really having a baby."
And cue the screaming.
Thea dropped the shirt and flung herself into Felicity's arms, "This is sooooooo exciting! I've been waiting for this day for ages."
She pulled back and Felicity was grateful to breathe again, "I'm so happy for you guys! You both deserve it."
Felicity smiled, "Oliver especially. I've just got to figure out how to convince him of that fact."
Thea raised her eyebrows, "What did my idiot brother do or say now?"
"Nothing, yet."
"Wait, do you mean to tell me that you haven't told Ollie he's going to be a dad?"
A Felicity's shake of her head, Thea grabbed her hands, "Why on earth not?"
The blonde sighed and pulled out a chair to sit down, Thea following suit, "I don't know. Well, I do know, I guess I'm just afraid. What if he doesn't want a baby? I mean we do lead pretty dangerous lives. That's what took him so long to even allow us to be in a relationship. What if he decides that it's too dangerous for us to have a baby. What then? And me, I mean I didn't have the greatest example for a mother. She provided for me and did her best to raise me, don't get me wrong, but nine out of ten times she left me alone at night, so she could work-Not that that, I don't think or at least I hope not! But my point is, I don't know how to be a mother! What if screw up and the kid hates me or if I forget to send it lunch and he starves! Or what if someone finds out Oliver's the Green Arrow and kidnaps the baby or-"
Thea placed her hand on Felicity's knee and she managed to stop, gulping in big breaths. Apparently, she had forgotten to breathe during her spew of everything that she had been thinking and feeling since she found out about her pregnancy. And that wasn't even everything she had thought of. Not even close. Who was she kidding? She could write a fracking 5000-page book!
"Felicity calm down. You're losing control," Thea demanded sharply but took the sting out of her words by smiling softly. She crossed her arms and gave her a challenging look, "I have no idea what the heck you're talking about, but I know for a fact that you are going to be a great mother."
Felicity opened her mouth in confusion, to ask how could she possibly know that but Thea silenced her with a sharp glare.
"Uh-uh, my turn to talk. I think it's safe to say that between all the blood, sweat, tears and we're gonna die moments I've gotten to know you really well, not to mention that you're my favorite sister-in-law-"
"I'm your only sister-in-law," Felicity interjected with a weary smile.
Thea brushed her off, "My favorite sister-in-law. So that means that I've seen you at your weakest and strongest moments which means I know you really, really well. Felicity, I have seen you take control of a room-full of self-blaming, guilt-ridden hero's, including myself, and say in no uncertain terms that it's not our fault and that we had better get ourselves together and go save some lives. You can talk Oliver, Roy, and John down from a fight faster than anyone I know, and they actually listen to you and make things right. You know when to give us advice and comfort even when we try our best to hide what we're really feeling. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that we would all be dead ten times over if it wasn't for you, that or requiring a lot more therapy."
"Truth is Felicity, you're the one that holds this team together, Oliver might call the shots but we all know that you're the real boss. You patch us up even when we were being stupid. You make us eat when we're stressed to the hilt, even if you don't get to eat yourself. When things get hard, you hide what you're feeling, instead you focus on what the team needs. You're our support beam, the light when it seems like the world is crashing down in front of us, the shoulder we cry on. Even though we're the ones who go out every night, risking our lives, you're the strongest of us all."
Thea leaned forward, clasping Felicity's hand in hers, "That's how I know you're going to be the best mother you can be. This kid is lucky to have you as a mom and even luckier to have me and the team as the best aunts and uncles ever!"
Felicity, who was crying openly, engulfed Thea in a hug, "These stupid hormones."
She sniffed and wiped at her eyes, "That was the best speech I think I've ever heard even if you are exaggerating. A lot."
"Please, that isn't even the half of it," Thea rubbed Felicity's back, "And don't worry about Ollie. He'll be over the moon, trust me."
"Thea, you know, when I was younger I always wanted a sister. Someone I could talk to. Someone I could be best friends with and share news like this with. Even before I married your brother, I knew that I had found a sister and a treasured friend…in you. Thank you for always being here."
Now Thea was the one crying, "Are you kidding me! You're the one who's been there for me. You're my sister."
Felicity laughed through tears, "Look at us. We're a mess! But seriously, when I agreed to help your brother all those years ago, I did not expect to gain a husband and a sister for life."
"Well, you're stuck with us now," Thea leaned back into her chair, drying her tears.
Felicity crossed her legs. It was time to get down to business, "I must confess, there is a reason I told you about the baby before Oliver other than my silly fears. I was kind of hoping if you could help me out with an idea I had to break it to Oliver."
"Oh yeah," Thea's lips turned up in a sly smile, "What can I do to help?"
Felicity smiled deviously, an eyebrow raised, "How are your smuggling under the radar skills these days?"
"Thea?" Felicity whispered through the darkness of the bunker barely managing not to trip over a punching bag one of the boys left on the floor. She made a mental note of telling their resident vigilantes that picking up their belongings was just as important as saving the city.
Okay, maybe it wasn't that important, but can a person blame her if she didn't want to trip over something in the dark and break her neck, albeit the boys probably didn't expect anyone to sneak around in the dark.
She squinted into the blackness, trying to locate Thea, but seeing as how the only thing she could see was dark, it was proving to be useless.
"The-" Felicity started to whisper when a sharp 'Watch it!' came from right in front of her. She was about 5 inches in front of Thea who was holding a white box to the side, away from any potential disaster.
"Oh, there you are. Did you get it?" Felicity whispered eyeing the box.
Thea huffed, whispering back, "Yes I got it, but it almost ended up on the floor. Why are we sneaking around in the pitch black dark and whispering? No one's here but us."
Felicity stuck her hand out and walked in the direction of the lever that would turn the power on, "I wanted to be sure. No sense in spoiling the surprise now."
They both squinted against the harsh light that flickered on throughout the bunker, "You weren't followed or anything, were you?"
Thea looked at her disbelievingly, "First of all, you made me promise to go on every back road between here and Pennytown. And second of all, do you really think I would come down here if I was being followed, enemy or not?"
"Sorry! Sorry, I just…I want this to be perfect."
Thea frowned, grudgingly, "I know," Her lips turned up into a smile, "Well? You wanna see it?"
Felicity's eyes brightened and gestured to the table they usually ate dinner on. Well, a more accurate description would be where they ate midnight snacks, actually, considering when they usually ate it was probably more like breakfast.
Thea set down the white box and carefully opened the lid, revealing a beautiful pastel two-tiered cake, the top pink, the bottom, blue, a green ribbon tying it together. On top, it said in white frosting, "Congrats on your new addition!"
Felicity beamed down at the cake. She had had the idea when she passed her favorite bakery and saw a cake that looked similar in the window and plus, she really wanted an excuse to eat some cake. This way they could celebrate with their family after she let Oliver find the cake.
Felicity had sent Thea to pick out a cake at a bakery in Pennytown to lessen the chances of someone recognizing her. She would have gone herself, but she was too afraid that someone might recognize her seeing as how she was even more of a public figure than Thea what with Queen Consolidated and being the Mayor's wife and put it in the press. At least this way if Thea had been discovered, she could take the heat and talk her way out of it instead of Felicity even though she was 99.9% sure that Thea would have threatened the poor soul within an inch of their life before they could start any rumors.
Besides, Felicity had made sure Thea was sufficiently disguised before leaving, much to Thea's displeasure, but Felicity was taking zero chances. She did not want to have to deal with Oliver, the team and reporters if anyone got a whiff of anything remotely interesting.
Felicity put an arm around Thea and squeezed, "Thank you. It's perfect."
Felicity placed a hand on her stomach as they stared at the cake in silence before it grumbled, letting her know that she was hungry. And no wonder why, she hadn't eaten anything since a multi-grain bagel (Yes, she was healthy) that morning.
"It looks like Mommy's hungry," Thea teased, closing the cake box, "Come on, get your stuff. We're going to Big Belly Burger."
Felicity bit her lip, "I don't know Thea. What if someone walks in and sees the cake?"
Thea rolled her eyes and checked her watch, "The team, including Oliver, won't be here for at least a couple of hours. We'll hurry, and didn't you say that Oliver had a meeting this evening?"
"I guess so," Felicity hesitated before grabbing her purse and tablet, "You're right. No one will be here this early."
Roy whistled as he jogged down the metal stairs, feeling the cool air from the top-secret basement turned arrow cave hit his face. He had finished up some work earlier than expected and since he had some time to kill he decided that he would get some vigilante practice in. He was finally almost as good at Oliver in terms of his aim and he was determined to get it as close as possible. He pulled the lever that controlled the power and drew in a breath as the large space was illuminated. He always felt at home here.
He went over to the case that held his bow and took it out, as he was reaching for his quiver he noticed some arrows he had never seen before sitting near Felicity's workstation. His interest piquing, Roy forgot about his quiver and went to inspect the arrows.
They looked like their other arrows except they were slightly longer and bigger where the arrowhead fitted into the shaft. He picked one up carefully and found that they were lighter than he expected them to be. He balanced one and decided that if it hadn't blown up in his face by now then he must be in the clear and it was safe for him to test out.
Roy studied it then gingerly fitted it into his bow, aiming away from Felicity's computers. He had already learned that lesson the hard way and wasn't wishing for a repeat of her loud voice anytime soon. Not to mention Oliver made him spar with Sara for a week straight.
As he was fidgeting with the grip and trajectory of the arrow, he turned to aim at one of the targets that were set up around the room. Unfortunately for him, he accidentally pressed a small button he hadn't noticed before and the arrow took off like it had a mind of its own.
There was a large boom followed by what sounded like glass shattering and wires fritzing out.
Roy gulped, closing his eyes before he could survey the damage. Maybe if he couldn't see the destruction, that was no doubt there, it would disappear.
He risked a peak, then quickly squeezed his eyes shut. How was he going to talk himself out of this?
Roy slowly opened his eyes and cringed at the sight before him. The glass table that used to sit there was completely shattered, the large monitor that was attached to the wall was swinging like a pendulum. The busted-out lights flickered and made buzzing noises, random wires hanging from the ceiling were swaying through the smoke and was that…gobs of cake? He couldn't tell underneath the char and glass.
Hesitantly, he took a step closer, flinching when the TV fell off the wall and crashed to the floor in a fury of electrical sparks.
"I'm in so much trouble," Roy groaned, shaking his head in remorse.
"So, I've been thinking the nursery could be-" Felicity broke off, grabbing Thea's arm to stop her at the top of the stairs.
Her heart rate suddenly spiked. She was almost positive that they had turned off the lights in the bunker before they left and yet, she could see the lights peeking up the stairwell, indicating someone had either been there and forgot to turn off the lights (which was totally possible. She forgot to turn out the lights nine out of ten times and that was before she was pregnant and forgetting where she put her tablet and that was attached to her hip) or they were still there. Most likely, whoever it was, was still there.
Eating had taken longer than expected but Felicity was hopeful that they would get back to the bunker before anyone showed up. Obviously, she should have listened to her gut and not even went out in the first place. Thanks, Thea.
She would probably burst into tears if she came down the stairs to find Oliver leaning over the cake in shock.
"Whoever it is probably didn't open the cake box," Thea tried to reassure her after she understood why Felicity was on the verge of hyperventilating.
Felicity glanced at her sister-in-law, saying in a deadpan, "It's a cake box. That's like asking a burglar not to steal anything in a room full of diamonds," She crinkled up her nose, "And what is that smell!"
Thea took an experimental sniff of the air, "It smells like burning acid."
Felicity sighed, "Good, I thought I was going crazy. I've been smelling it since we walked in the door."
The brunette gave her an odd look, "I certainly smell something but not from that far away."
"I've found that being pregnant has given me a very heightened sense of smell. It gets annoying."
Felicity put her hand to her nose, a sick expression on her face, "It's getting worse."
Thea pointed down the steps, "It's coming from the bunker."
"If something's happened to my computers…" Felicity coughed, taking the stairs as fast as she could without being sick. Thea right on her heels.
Whatever Felicity was expecting to see, it sure wasn't what she was seeing. She had assumed that someone might have spilled something on her keyboard or maybe even someone had somehow got lucky enough to hack into pretty much impenetrable computer systems. What she saw instead was Roy desperately trying to put out an electrical fire in the midst of catastrophic destruction.
Thea had the same disbelieving stare, "What happened?"
Roy whipped around with an expression of stark fear.
The archer gulped audibly at the sight of the two women staring at him with a look of confused horror.
"Should I even ask?" Felicity crossed her arms, trying to pull off the I'm-so-disappointed look whilst trying to cover the fact that she actually felt like puking.
Roy felt like a kid again and he had been caught with his hand stuck in the cookie jar with the way Felicity was glowering at him. On the other hand, Thea looked kind of like she was trying not to laugh. Roy wasn't sure if he should be grateful that she didn't look like she wanted to murder him or insulted that she thought Felicity wanting to murder him was funny.
"Look, Felicity before you hack into my bank account and make me less poor than I already am let me say that I didn't mean to blow up anything and if it makes you feel any better, I think I got some burns on my hands from trying to put out the fire. I don't want to complain but they kind of hurt-"
"Oh! You poor thing!" Felicity's hands flew to her mouth and Roy nodded in agreement, thankful that Felicity might take pity on him.
"Yeah, it's pretty bad-"
Felicity barely spared a glance at Roy as she whisked right past him, "Not you!"
Roy was dumbfounded as he watched Felicity crouch down to take a closer look at the destroyed monitor that laid in a heap.
"What did Roy do to you?"
Felicity turned to look at him, tears in her eyes, "This physically hurts me."
Thea wasn't even trying to hide her laughter now.
Felicity went back to inspecting the damage that the piece of tech had endured when she saw an interesting looking glob.
It was her cake. The one that was going to change Oliver's life. And it was ruined.
That was the last straw.
She stood up, angry tears blurring her vision as she turned to face Roy. He must have seen something in her eyes because he took a tentative step back, his eyes growing wide.
Felicity took a deep breath, "ROY WILLIAM HARPER!"
"How dare you ruin my cake! And ruin my bunker. The one I paid for with Oliver's hard-earned money! And ruin tech that costs more than a really expensive car! How dare you ruin my life!"
By this point, Roy was backed into the wall and Felicity was in his face, her hands clenched at her sides. She was quickly learning pregnancy made her emotional and a tiny bit dramatic…okay, a lot dramatic. She may have gone a little far on that last claim.
Thea wasn't laughing anymore, instead, she looked like she was trying to decide if Roy was worth saving.
Poor Roy looked terrified, "I'm really sorry, Felicity. I'll do whatever it takes to clean this mess up. Please, don't kill me."
Felicity sniffed and angrily wiped away her tears, walking back towards the mess. Her breathing was starting to slow, and she felt a small amount of remorse for yelling at Roy, even though he deserved it and he ruined her second attempt at telling Oliver about the baby.
At that moment, Diggle and Oliver came barreling down the steps. Felicity could hear their voices carry across the bunker. The two men slowed, their words trailing off as they took in the destruction that Roy created.
"What in the world…?" John crossed his arms as he shifted into an exasperated stance.
If Felicity wasn't so mad she would have laughed at the shocked expressions plastered onto the boys' faces.
Oliver's eyes moved carefully over everything as he let out a sigh in disbelief, "What happened?"
She couldn't take it anymore, she just couldn't. These stupid pregnancy hormones! Somehow seeing Oliver made her even more livid than she had been.
Felicity threw her hands up in the air with a growl, storming off before she started yelling again.
Oliver stared after her in shock.
Dig's eyebrows were raised.
Roy looked bewildered.
And Thea was laughing again.
Poor Felicity. Is she ever going to get the chance to tell Oliver about the baby? Stay tuned to find out!
I hope you all enjoyed Felicity and Thea's exchange. I wanted them to have a special scene together.
Questions, comments, concerns? Please leave a Review. Even just a short one makes my day :)
