If We Had Hearts
Author's Note: I meant to post this on friday but in order to keep this fic from being monotonous I'm doing some times skips to keep the plot interesting. It proved to be a bit more troublesome than I bargained for. I hope this doesn't cause any confusion and allows for a more interesting read.
Chapter 11: The Imposter
~Day 171~
Axel wasn't sure what had happened while he'd been gone, but he noticed almost immediately that Xion and Roxas were at odds with each other. When he asked about it Roxas just waved it off, and pouted into her ice cream. For awhile after that she just concentrated on her missions, and though they still met up for ice cream, Axel could tell the separation was getting to her.
As for Xion. he stayed distant, and the few times Axel tried to approach her about it made her irritable.
Women, he thought, were so troublesome.
Roxas finished her mission at Beast's castle with a heavy sigh. She was in such a foul mood, and knew exactly what the cause of it was. Though she wasn't sure what brought on the sudden change in attitude, she knew it had something to do with what Saix had said to her.
"We never should have wasted time in a mistake like you."
What happened. Roxas wondered. to make Saix say something so cruel? Was it because she'd failed a mission? Even so that wasn't a good enough reason to call her that especially after all the good they had done.
"Xigbar said that you and me were pretty special, exceptional even."
"Special?" Roxas remembered how pained Xion's face had been at the mention of this. "Isn't that just another way of saying that I'm a mistake?"
"You're not a mistake!"
"Well You and I may be exceptional, Roxas, but... I don't think we're quite the same."
At that time, Xion seemed so upset, and doubtful of her own abilities and purpose. Why did Saix have to say something so cruel? It was his fault Xion was acting like this, that she was pulling away from her friends! Xion wasn't a mistake! She worked hard and did a lot for the organization. Saix had no right to say those things to her… and feeling bold, went straight up to him and said so.
"You should apologize to Xion!" Roxas told him when he opened his mouth to give her her mission.
"Apologize for what?" Saix scowled at her demand. This girl really needed to learn her place. What had Axel been thinking tying himself to someone so troublesome?
"You know exactly what. You said those cruel things to her! Now Xion won't even talk to me! She isn't a mistake and she's a vital part of the organization. She hasn't done anything to deserve your bullying. So apologize!"
"No." Said crossed his arms. "You're insinuating that it will even care if I apologize. It won't, therefore it is a waste of my time."
"Xion is not an it!" Roxas screamed at him now catching the attention of the other members.
"Refer to that abomination however you like. It's none of my concern how your relationship is. The point is I won't apologize to that thing. Its making too many mistakes and costing us valuable-"
"Shut up!" Roxas' keyblade was out and ready to strike. She felt arms grab her and struggled against Demyx.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, come on Roxas, no need for violence. Just ignore him."
"You shut up too, Mr. Lazy! Xion works ten times harder than you! She doesn't deserve this!" She jabbed a finger into Demyx's chest and he rubbed it.
"Ow, that hurt. Look just go talk to your friend. Saix isn't gonna change his mind, and fighting him won't help. It's just gonna get you into trouble." Plus if she messed up, he'd have to start taking on more missions alone, and that sounded like a pain in the ass.
"Put her down Demyx…" Luxord strolled in. "It's not as if it'll do any good. It appears she hasn't heard the news of Xion's failure."
"Failure? What's that supposed to mean?" Roxas wriggled from Demyx and looked to Luxord.
"I'm surprised you haven't't heard. It appears she bungled her last mission, and has been in a deep sleep ever since."
"WHAT!?" Roxas' eyes went wide with shock. She started to turn.
"Just where do you think you're going? You've a mission!"
"And I'll do it, but I'm not leaving until I see my friend!" She shouted back and sent a withering stare over her shoulder. "Just try and stop me, you jerk!" She ran off with Luxord giving a small little applaud.
"She's growing bolder everyday. Must be quite a hassle for you Saix."
"She won't be so brave when that boldness of hers causes her demise." He turned his back to Roxas and went back to his own work.
~Day 193~
Roxas had collapsed beside Xion's bed overcome with guilt. She came back everyday before every mission to hold her hand and will her to wake up. She wasn't the only one worried either, more often than not Axel would come in with her and sit beside Xion's bed so the two of them could talk to her, and watch over her.
Just like Xion had done for her, Roxas brought her seashells. She wasn't sure where the beach was, but the moment she'd stepped onto those sandy shores for the first time Roxas had felt such a familiarity to the place… it was as if she'd been there before.
"It's beautiful, just like you said." Roxas set the latest shell on the pillow sighing. "I'll bring mo-WHOA!" She jumped back as Xion suddenly woke with a start. "Xion! You're awake! You startled me!"
"R-Roxas?" Xion rubbed her eyes looking at her a bit confused. What had happened? The last thing she remembered was cornering an imposter who had snuck into the threshold… and passing out. "Where… Oh-" She glanced down at the pillow and saw the seashells. She smiled and lifted one to her ear.
"Do you hear it?"
"Yeah… the sound of the waves." Xion opened her eyes, looked into Roxas'. Guilt immediately hit her smack in the chest and she sighed heavily. She'd ignored and treated Roxas so badly… but Roxas stayed so kind and thoughtful to her. She couldn't let her doubts and worries impede on their friendship, she just couldn't. "How long was I asleep?"
"About twenty days…" Roxas explained sitting next to her in the bed. "You were sleeping so much, Axel and I got worried."
"Axel too?" Xion held her chest the guilt increasing. She put a hand to her chest "I'm sorry about that… It's kinda weird that we can feel anything at all, without hearts to feel with."
Roxas agreed, but had stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago.
"Hey Roxas, don't you have work today?" Xion asked scooting up on her knees and getting closer.
"Huh? Oh yeah, I was just about to head out." Roxas stood up but Xion grabbed her hand.
"I'd like to tag along, please?"
"What? Don't you need more rest?" Worried she gripped Xion's hand.
"I'll be fine, especially if you're there with me." She smiled warmly, and Roxas couldn't resist. She felt that gap between them close and she helped Xion up and out of bed.
"Okay, but let me handle things. Take it slow, okay?"
"Alright…" She hugged Roxas tight and sighed. "I'm sorry about the way I'd been behaving. I just…"
"You don't have to explain, Xion. Just know that if you need to get something off your chest, you need someone to talk to, Axel and I are here for you." She pulled back smiling. "We're your friends, and we'll always look out for you."
~After the Mission~
"You gonna tell me what happened?" Axel asked Xion sitting at her bedside. She'd collapsed again during the mission, but this time had woken up almost right away. Still with both her friends worrying over her she agreed to stay in bed for the rest of the day.
"About what?" Xion sat up her hands folded on her lap. Roxas had left to go back to her room and shower, but Axel stayed, apparently to interrogate. It bothered her that no matter how close she and Roxas got, there always seemed to be this barrier between her and Axel.
"You know what, Xion. I think it's time you told me, or at least told Roxas why you'd been acting so strangely. You failed two missions, both revolving around this imposter that's been sneaking around and spying on the organization. On top of that you collapsed twice. What's going on?"
"I…" Xion sighed and pulled her legs up to her chest. "I found the imposter both times… but I couldn't capture him. He was just too strong. He… he called me a fraud, and my keyblade a sham."
"A sham?" Axel's brows knit together.
" I didn't understand what he meant by that… I thought maybe it was because I don't have a heart… but when I returned to the castle Saix was so angry with me. He said the organization shouldn't put their hopes on me… that I'm a mistake."
"Well he's wrong…" Axel took her hand gripping it. "You shouldn't let what Saix says bother you, he's just a jerk. You made Roxas and I worry because you wouldn't confide in us. Friends have to be honest with each other. I've told you guys that before haven't I?"
"You have… and I'm sorry. I was just afraid, and a little jealous. Ever since you and Roxas have gotten so close I feel… a bit closed off from both of you. It's made me wonder why I'm even here, why I exist at all."
"I suppose I have to take some of the blame there." Axel admitted. "Still just because me and Roxas are intimate. Doesn't- MMMPH!" Axel jolted when Xion closed the distance and put her lips on his. He pulled back and shook his head. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm sorry! I just… I wanted to know what it was like. When you and Roxas kiss she looks so happy. I want that! I want what she has!"
Axel narrowed his eyes.
"Well you can't. You have to find your own happiness. You can't just take what someone else has."
"But Axel…"
"YOU JUST CAN'T!" He stormed off and slammed the door. He paced the coridoor a few times before deciding to do something with this pent up energy of his. He went to Vexen's room and scrambled through the books. The guy had a record on every member of the organization and hoped he'd get some answers on Xion's background and her connection to Roxas.
Sora, Roxas' human self, had only two friends that were close enough to know about the memories Xion had mentioned. Kairi, and Riku. Namine was Kairi's nobody, and at first Axel believed Xion to be RIku's since he had a male form to start… but the more time he spent with Xion, the more he was starting to realize that there was something different and troubling about Xion.
...and reading through Vexen's journals only confirmed his suspicions.
"So… that's what's going on." He sneered and slammed the book shut. "You want what Roxas has… well you're not getting it. If you want happiness and power you'll have to get it the same way everyone else does."
He reread the book, picturing Roxas' happy face, and Xion beside her grinning. Good times, the best of times… but he had priorities.
" If this really is what you were created to do I will stop you. I won't let you hurt Roxas…" He clenched a fist over his chest feeling the immense pressure there. "...even if it means terminating our friendship."
~Riku~
Riku brushed his fingers over the glass of Sora's sleep cell. Her sleeping face bright on a mix of guilt and relief. He grieved other the fact she had been manipulated by the organization. He had wanted to erase all the tension in their relationship by letting her know he loved her and that he had no hard feelings or resentments towards her.
However, the organization had made a puppet of him, had manipulated the memories to emphasize the hurt and twist those feelings onto Namine. When his puppet confronted Sora it caused all manner of hurt and confusion for her.
"Why is it when I get close to you I just end up hurting you?" He clenched his fist and turned his back to exit the room. He made his way upstairs to where Namine was waiting for him
"You made me a promise," he told her with a scowl.
"Yes, to protect Sora. I'm afraid I haven't been keeping that promise very well." She asked shamefully.
"Can you tell me what's happening?" Riku asked fisting his hands on his knees.
"Some of Sora's memories are missing." Namine explained soberly.
"How can that be?"
"Sora's memories are escaping through her nobody, and being absorbed into a third person." Namine lifted her sketchpad staring at the picture with sad eyes. "Now, they're starting to become a part of her."
Xion, Riku realized with a frown. He had met Xion a few weeks ago at Beast's Castle, unaware of her particular situation he'd been stunned when he'd pulled back the hood and had seen Sora's face. The initial shock, and the obvious connection she had with Sora kept him from destroying her completely. Still the anger inside him wouldn't waver. He called her a fraud, and her keyblade a worthless sham.
After more investigating, Riku had come to realize that Xion, and Roxas and even Axel were striving to become their own people. It was hard to watch, but even harder to ignore.
"Isn't there a way to bring back just Sora's memories?"
"If they're separate yes… but if Xion's memories and Sora's memories become woven together, I'll have to untangle them. That will take even more time, and Diz won't tolerate it."
"So what can you do?"
"If i just jump in, and rearrange the memories, then Sora would wake up only to find that no one remembers him. That's a risk I just can't take." Namine set the sketchbook down and clenched her hands in her lap. "Sora's Nobody, and the one absorbing memories from her… no one thought that these two would fight so hard to be their own person. Unfortunately, the only real solution is for both of them to go away. "
Riku sighed heavily. He'd been afraid of that. If Sora ever found out what it had taken to awaken her… she'd feel guilty and take on the hurt that came with it. He didn't want to think what kind of repercussions that hurt could cause her heart.
"Did you know, that Xion's face was originally like yours at first. The first memories absorbed had all been of you, and the longer he spent with Roxas, the more memories of you he took on… but as his and Roxas' relationship changed, she became more like Kairi. The two of you are important parts of Sora's heart, and now that Xion's absorbed nearly all those memories she's taking on more and more of Sora's attributes, and power. If something doesn't happen, if we don't stop her from absorbing more memories … then Sora will never wake up."
...and that, Riku decided with a frown, was all the justification he needed.
"Alright then… leave it to me."
~Ask Briry~
Briry: Sorry for the delay of thie chapter. The time skips were a it more complicated than I'd anticipated and I had to go back and rewatch some of the clips in order to get a confirmation on timeline. Hope you enjoyed and are looking forward to more!
Next Chapter: Secrets among friends
