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The Eleventh and Tenth Doctors reveal how they are Donna's fully-Time Lord child. The Tenth Doctor witnesses the Thirteenth turning into the Valeyard, who then attempts to kill Donna. The Tenth Doctor manages to restrain him and set up the TARDISes to recover the paradox that is the Thirteenth Doctor. She then reveals that the Eleventh Doctor has also turned into the Valeyard and that the Valeyard succeeded in injecting the infant First Doctor with a serum that will guarantee his regeneration into the Valeyard at some point.
Chapter 6
In Which Nothing is More Stupid than Kissing a Dalek
The Doctor stopped breathing. If enough of that stuff was released in his brain, it would permanently alter the way he thought, through the remainder of his regenerations. Therapy wouldn't do enough for him. "How long…?"
"A few months. You won't even make it to the Byzantium with River Song."
He swallowed. If it had already existed in him for centuries, it would take more to undo it. This him would have to die of radiation. And if it had already started to take root – it had, he scared his mother with it earlier, didn't he? - he couldn't just die, he would have to sacrifice himself, truly sacrifice himself for something, in addition to dying of radiation. He met his female self's eyes. "I'm going to have to forget, aren't I?"
"Not for a few more hours." She nudged his shoulder. "I'll set it up. You spend some time with your mum and gran." She pocketed her sonic and pranced over to her TARDIS. She stopped and smiled back at Donna. "It was very good to see you again. I promise you'll see this me soon." She paused, smile growing. "Thanks. For becoming my mother."
The Doctor stared at her, calling at her as she opened the doors. "What are you going to do? If you leave this room, you'll go back to being the Valeyard."
She poked her head out, eyes twinkling. "There is one planet I can go to where my TARDIS can sustain me on its own." That said, she pulled the doors shut behind her. Soon after, her TARDIS faded from its place with the wheezing and groaning the Doctor was accustomed to.
He didn't take his eyes off the spot. "But that planet burned."
The Doctor only moved when Donna slipped her hand into his. He squeezed it. "I'll be alright." The words were weak even in his ears. "If she succeeded, the Valeyard's hold over my future will be weak enough that bow tie me will be himself with only two TARDISes to sustain him. He'll be here permanently the moment he or both his past selves leave."
He had some aftercare to deal with while he still remembered – even his future self would still have a few traces left in his mind. Not much, just enough to be tempted to do something stupid, like killing an innocent space whale, or kissing a Dalek, or…. He had no clue what he'd do actually, but it couldn't be any more stupid than kissing a Dalek. That was just yuck.
The Doctor forced a smile. "I should be able to wrap things up here and take you home." He should have enough time to do that, no matter what had to happen next. "I'll be back. I need to go find Chinny. Take care of Mum for me, will you Gran?"
"She's my daughter!" Sylvia took a deep breath. "It did work, didn't it? I'm not going to have to watch my only grandson become some sort of villain?"
She did care.
"You won't have to watch that." The Doctor stuck his hands in his pockets, meeting her eyes. "I'll take care of it. See you later."
He went to go look for himself, but on his way out, he stopped and whispered in one of UNIT's soldier's ears what he needed them to do if his future self had not succeeded: kill him with radiation, and if that didn't work, well, maybe there was one good use for a gun.
He didn't remember being the Valeyard, but that blank in his memory pointed to its happening. He wanted to kick himself – he was blanking out while he and Mary were on the way to deliver his infant self to his mother. He should have realized! The knowledge left a taste in his mouth like the food he once demanded from Amy Pond. He hoped it didn't show as he was talking to UNIT – he promised Mary he could get her a new job if she wanted it.
As he finished up, he spotted a presence out the corner of his eye – a very brown presence – his younger self's pinstriped suit, if he wasn't mistaken.
One of UNIT's women had a memo app open on her phone. "And that was Mary Stonebridge?"
"Yes."
The woman met his eyes. "And you're sure you're back to normal?"
"Absolutely." He clapped the woman on the shoulder. "I'm sure you lot had something to do with it, if you were able to, and I know you can do something about Torchwood, so I'm going to see what my younger self wants."
To be honest, he hated the idea, even if it was himself, but he'd stalled long enough. He didn't know what his younger self wanted, but he had a theory, and he was clever enough that his theories were almost always accurate. Besides, he wanted to put his time as the Valeyard well behind him.
The Doctor straightened, and as casually as possible, strolled toward his younger self. "Your therapy stopped going to work then. That wasn't fun."
His younger self was leaning against the wall, crossing his arms and legs. "You're the one who thought you were stable enough to help."
"I was, wasn't I?" The Doctor ran his eyes over his past face, freckles, skinny nose, brown eyes, all of it. He wished he could remember what he'd been thinking when he was in his place, taking that deep breath through his nostrils.
"How much do you remember?"
"I got as far as stairs," he said slowly. "Another TARDIS came. The next thing I remember, I'm hacking Torchwood's computer. I wiped their records of us while I was there, but what did I do as the Valeyard?"
"Nothing that can't be reversed. Thing is, I have to die and be absolutely sure to become you."
His death as Sand Shoes. Now that was a dark one: confronting the consequences of his hubris, facing down every enemy he'd ever made, rage filling his veins over Amy's death. All the while, his TARDIS was exploding and River with it. He lost it that day. Not only did he try to kill each and every one of those trying to lock him in the Pandorica, but he hadn't exactly gone for quick, painless deaths either. Only seeing Rory's grief over his fiancee softened him up for a more happy-go-lucky incarnation as his regeneration set in. Not exactly the best way to go for someone trying to avoid becoming the Valeyard. "Look, when you go to Stonehenge and you're facing down everyone and their guns and-"
"Stonehenge? Is that where I was supposed to die?" Sandshoe's eyes were heavy. He shook his head. "I can't be shot. I have to die of radiation poisoning. The Valeyard's injected baby-us with a mind-altering substance that has to be neutralized as an adult."
Oh. His younger self would need help setting that up. Speaking of, the best chance for that would be Gallifrey's brief return, wouldn't it? He wasn't quite sure how to pull that one off, but he always thought of something. "I could-"
"No. Future us has it taken care of, otherwise you'd be the Valeyard right now."
The Doctor blinked. "Then what do you need me for?"
The Doctor was never on the receiving end of that look before – the look where his eyes were big and a little bit glossy and he couldn't quite help but look at whoever was about to meet a horrible fate. It was a bit unnerving actually.
"I'm sorry," murmured his younger self. "I'm so sorry, but I'll still have some of that substance in me after I regenerate into you. I have to wipe out what's left, and it will take some memories with it. Whatever you came to do, is it done?"
That would do it. That would get his younger self apologizing. Oh, how he hated forgetting sometimes! He did his best not to show fear on his face, for his younger self's benefit. "I got the date wrong in the first place – I was aiming for four years down the road – but I would have had to come here anyway to get rid of our birth record. I only got Torchwood's records, not the hospital's. Take care of it, will you?"
Sand Shoes nodded, and the Doctor backed away involuntarily. It wasn't that he wanted to keep the Valeyard's influence – it was just that now he knew how his mother felt. Before he knew it, Sand Shoes' hands were on his temples.
The Doctor lugged his future self back to his own TARDIS and made a few preparations for him. He set the controls to dematerialize without his current incarnation. It left him standing in Donna's hospital room, facing his mother, his grandmother, his younger self, an officer from UNIT.
Donna was crying, saying something about finding adoptive parents to the UNIT officer. Jon was fussing, pleading with his mother to let him stay.
"If you're sure. It may take a while. We know the Doctor has enemies. We'll have to be sure we're not giving him into their hands."
A pain tore through the Doctor's hearts. Adoption? No, he didn't want that. Was this about what Donna said earlier about finding parents with a more similar lifespan, or did she not want him after all? It had to be odd preparing to raise the alien you knew as your best friend.
He walked to the foot of her bed. "Is this really what you want?"
"No," she croaked, "but it's what's best for you."
He didn't feel the same way. Sighing, he said, "Hang on. You should be healing. I'll just nip into the TARDIS and get some stuff for an injured throat."
He didn't take long. He came out with a cup full of glowing yellow and had Donna drink. The bruises healed, her breaths deepened, and her voice came out as normal. "Thanks for that."
Smiling, he said, "You know you don't have to give me up unless you want to."
"Two parents. No guaranteed deaths during your childhood. That's what I want for you."
"Donna. Mum." He leaned forward onto the bed. "It's not just my personal enemies: the Time Lord race has a lot of enemies, and then there are people who would use me too. UNIT means well, but they don't know them all. I want to be raised by someone I trust. I – baby me, that is – I am the most vulnerable I am in my life, and I need you."
Even Jon quieted, everyone looking at Donna to see what her answer could be.
"I'm single, I'm human, and I don't know the first thing about baby Time Lords. What sort of life can I give you?" Even as she said it, tears streamed down her face.
Jon started fussing again, and Donna vainly tried to comfort him.
"Oh, this is ridiculous!" Sylvia put her hands on her hips. "My grandson has made it perfectly clear how he feels. If he wants to stay, he stays! That's what sort of life you can give him."
If anyone had told the Doctor while he was traveling with Donna that Sylvia Noble would one day take his side over her daughter's, he would have scoffed. But now, here it was, and it made sense. A slow smile took his face. "Thanks, Gran."
Donna stopped arguing, she became eerily quiet in fact, and her tears fell more and more. The Doctor couldn't just leave her in such a state. He walked around the bed and knelt by her side. "You're going to do fine. Remember what stuck with me about my mum? How she loves me very much. That's good, isn't it? And honestly, I had a happier childhood here than I did on Gallifrey."
Sniffing, Donna stroked his infant self's cheek. "I do love you. That's why I want to give you to a family that's better for you."
"You won't find one." He gazed into her eyes. "I know you're scared, but you won't be alone. Gran will help, and Great-Grandpa Wilf-" He grinned. "You named me after Great-Grandpa Wilf!"
Donna and Sylvia exchanged glances. "Doctor," Donna said quietly, "Gramps died years ago."
A lump formed in his throat. He should have known. Humans don't last forever. One day, he was going to lose Donna too. In fact, as soon as he got in his TARDIS and made himself forget, he will have already lost her from his perspective. He swallowed the lump. "Oh."
"Hold Jon for a moment, will you Mum?" Donna handed her infant off to her mother and put her hands on the Doctor's cheeks. "I miss him too. He would have been proud to be your great-grandfather."
"I'm proud to be his great-grandson. He was a good man."
"Yeah." Donna sighed. "Mum and I won't be around forever. I want to spare you a bit of heartache if I can, and I want to know you'll be taken care of."
Gently, the Doctor removed Donna's hands from his face. "There are very few things that live as long as a Time Lord, and I wouldn't want to be raised by any of them. My people weren't the best at making friends. I'm better off with you."
Her face softened, so the Doctor knew he was getting through to her. "As I was saying, Gran will help. One day, there's a chance you'll meet a man willing to marry you and help raise me. In fact, I vaguely remember him. He officially adopted me. Smith, his name was. No one believes me when I say my name is Jon Smith, but it is. Well, it's one of my names."
There! That was a smile. He smiled back. "And- and me. I know that is me you're raising, but I'll help. Normally, I couldn't cross my own time stream, but you know who I'm supposed to grow up to be. I'm supposed to grow up to know about the laws of time and how to fly a TARDIS and other Time Lord stuff, and there's no one else left to teach me. Not until my timelines fuse as an adult and I can remember Gallifrey. No one else knows much about Time Tots or Time Lord medicine either. Future me will have to do it. If you'll just keep me, I promise adult me will be in your life again, and Donna, I really to have you in my life again too."
Donna reached for the back of his head. "Alright, you're not going anywhere, Jon." She pulled his forehead to her lips. She looked toward the UNIT official. "Can you lot help him blend in?"
The official nodded. "We're hoping to get an agent in this hospital soon. We can issue records and explain away his alien traits. We'll protect your family from Torchwood."
The cloister bell woke the Doctor. He pushed himself off the glass floor, straightened his bow tie, and checked the coordinates. It wasn't often that he fell asleep, even from boredom, but this didn't feel like sleep anyway. It felt more like someone was poking around his mind, to be honest.
He sat himself in the lotus position and closed his eyes to check the state of himself – just a few memories gone. If they were important, he'd have to relearn it later, no way of retrieving them.
The next thing he checked was the TARDIS. There was a note on the console – one that put his mind at ease. He didn't remember writing it, but he did recognize his former self's handwriting.
Doctor,
Both of us had to lose our memory, and someday we'll remember why. It's all for the best. I've set your TARDIS to take you to where you were meaning to go when you landed by me.
- the Doctor
He scowled and shoved the note in his pocket. "I don't like being told not to solve a mystery, so there had better be a good one waiting for me outside those doors."
His younger self hadn't sent him when he was meaning to go – he was aiming for Christmas! Still, it was the right year, and he was at the hospital. He went in and easily found the immunization records that were signed by someone called Mary Stonebridge.
On his way back to the TARDIS, he spotted a date idea: a studio that brought inky creations to life. Well, not really to life, but inky creations that could light up and move as robots, thanks to conductive ink. It was a studio that worked on commission, its artists drawing pieces right in front of its customers. The twenty-first century made it one of the earliest of such shops on Earth. It wasn't an alien invasion, but it was better than going back to get his bow tie stolen again. He climbed in his ship and went to collect River.
The Doctor leaned against her TARDIS, parked just outside her grandmother's front door. She watched as her younger self's ship materialized and its occupants disembarked: her mother, her grandmother, and two of her younger selves, one in a baby carrier. She grinned. "Good to see you."
Sand Shoes smiled back, although it didn't reach his eyes. "And you. Good to see my future turned out so well." He sighed. "It's time, isn't it?"
She nodded. "Say your goodbyes, Doctor."
He turned and pulled their family into a hug – even Sylvia. He whispered something to them, but the Doctor couldn't remember what. They didn't let him go without tearful goodbyes of their own.
As he climbed into his TARDIS, the Doctor straightened up and strode along the walkway. "It's my turn. Hello, Mum. Gran."
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