Only Fools Fall In Love

Chapter XI

Suck, Bang, Squeeze and Blow

BPOV

I've been home from the hospital for two days now and thankfully, the outbreak of people who had taken pity on me had died down. Neighbours I didn't even know I had were popping in to wish me a speedy recovery almost constantly.

At one point, there was an actual queue of people in the hallway (who according to Alice) were all waiting to gawp at the girl who knocked herself out. I preferred to think that they were all waiting to see me to pay their respect. So much so, that yesterday, I came over all Don Corleone from the Godfather, shoved cotton wool in to my mouth and in my best Marlon Brando voice told Mrs Fitzpatrick from across the street that 'I will make you an offer you can't refuse' much to Alice's amusement. Of course, I was referring to the apple pie she was bearing but to be honest I think the humour was lost on her.

Whoosh!

Straight over her head.

Anyway, I'd come to the assumption that Forks sure was a hospitable place to live.

Edward had been an almost constant visitor during my convalescence much to my surprise. We had spent hours talking and I felt I had got to know him a little better as he regaled me with tales of school, college, his work, parents…

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't as if he'd just sat there and droned on about himself continuously. Well, he did, but not in an egotistical way. I just wasn't very forthcoming. He'd asked me question to try to encourage conversation but I managed to dodge most of them feigning a headache or tiredness.

Its not that I didn't want to speak to him. It was just that since our first meeting every interaction I'd had with him resulted with me saying or doing something ridiculous. I suppose I was little self-conscious.

It wasn't all bad though. I loved listening to his voice and of course, it meant that I'd had lots of time to just look at him.

Not from a distance or fleetingly.

I mean really look at him!

He was not unattractive. In fact, he's…oh, God…he's stunning. Scarily handsome. His bronze hair, piercing green eyes and a body that would make anyone go weak at the knees: tall and toned, broad-shouldered, with just the right amount of muscle.

Much to my surprise, I had also rediscovered my libido, which up until this week, I had presumed, had packed its bags and left for foreign shores. Dirty little thoughts kept popping into my mind without warning and sometimes without justification. I was like a horny teenager all over again and I liked it.

I was distracted from one of these very thoughts when I heard a car pull up outside. Alice dashed to the window and eased the blinds a fraction so that she could get an unobstructed view. "Edward's here! " She hissed eyeing me questionably as I sat on the sofa, swung my legs up and lolled back.

"What are you doing?" She gasped as if it wasn't obvious. "You're not even dressed! " She said eyeing my pyjamas and frowning in disgust.

"I'm chilling."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want him to think that I got up at five this morning waiting for him to come."

Obviously!

"But you were up a five this morning waiting for him to come." She replied glibly.

"Yeah, but I don't want him to know that do I?"

Before she had the chance to question me further, there was a swift rat-a-tat on the door, which was my cue to edge myself down further on the sofa. Alice continued to stare apparently hypnotized by my attire.

"Alice, Door!" I hissed gesturing with my hands that she go and answer it. She stood silently for a few more moments before rolling her eyes and then abruptly left the room.

A minute later Alice entered the room. "She's in here. I'm afraid she hasn't been up long. " And that's why Alice is my very best friend, I thought.

Through hooded lids, I watched Edward slowly make himself comfortable on the armchair opposite. "Oh Edward! " I said feigning surprise. "I wasn't expecting you so soon." Alice shook her head in disbelief.

"How's the head?" Edward asked.

"Fine." I said shyly feeling the blush radiating on my cheeks as the events of two evenings back wash over me, I suddenly felt sick.

"That's good." He responded, "Because I was wondering if you would like to do something today?"

"Okay." I managed to croak. "I'll just go and get dressed." I pulled myself up from the sofa and made my way to my bedroom. I dressed as quickly as I could but it still takes me fifteen minutes to put on a pair of jeans.

Returning to the living room, Edward is still sitting in the armchair. I know that I need to say something. Well, if we were going to spend the whole day together, outside of the house, I needed to get some of the formalities out of the way. "Thank you for helping me out, you know the other night." I said.

"It's the least I could do", he replied.

I look down at my hands and pick off a loose sliver of nail polish. "I'm sorry, Edward," I said almost whispering.

"Don't worry about it!"

But I am worried.

Worried about what he thinks.

"I feel awful; you know….about the other night. I don't usually drink and I've never knocked myself out before…on a date." I continue, "I mean I have been on dates before… and I have knocked myself out but never at the same time."

Yeah! Because that makes everything sound so much better.

Edward sat there looking at me blankly. He didn't reply and really, I should have left it there but because I don't know when to shut up, I carried on.

"I'll understand if you want to um…go home and…"

"Bella," he interrupts, "if I didn't want to be here, then I wouldn't have come."

I feel a wave of contentment wash over me. "Thank you." I mumble.

"I just won't be taking you out drunk again," he continued and I dropped my head in shame. "At least not before sending you out to buy a crash helmet first."

I looked up and he gave me one of those wide smiles and a wink, and I swear it made my heart pound so loudly I'm almost certain he could hear it.

"So, do you want some breakfast?" He asked and I got the feeling that he did so to change the subject.

"Sure," I reply," let me fix you something." I grabbed his hand and led him into the kitchen.

"I was thought that we could grab some breakfast at…"

"Nonsense!" I told him enthusiastically cutting him off mid sentence. "Just take a seat." I instructed indicating with a nod of my head that he should sit down at the table. "Okay, what do you like?" I asked.

"An omelette will be fine."

My heart sank. I was hoping that he'd say a bowl of Cheerio's. "How about cereal?" I ask hopefully.

"Sure," he replied sounding a little disappointed.

I grab the cereal packet off the counter and then I stopped myself. What am I thinking? This is an ideal opportunity to score some much-needed brownie points especially after recent events. Of course, he can have an omelette. I am the grand master of omelettes. "Okay," I reply cheerfully, "seeing as it's you, omelettes it is."

I have visions of Edward tucking into the my home cooked omelette viewing me like some sort of domestic goddess, prepared to rustle up a culinary delight at the drop of a hat.

I headed for the refrigerator to seek out the required ingredients for this dish: a couple of nice fresh eggs, butter and milk.

Then I opened the fridge.

The only things inside which were edible is a lone tomato and last nights leftover pizza. There were no eggs, there was no butter and there was certainly no milk.

Should I offer him the pizza?

Pizza for breakfast?

Erm, I think not.

I span back round shutting the refrigerator door behind me and gave Edward one of my award winning smiles. "You know, I'm feeling a little stir crazy after being cooped up in the house for so long. Do you think we could go out for breakfast?"

Without waiting for a response, I grabbed my jacket and was on my way out of the door. Edward followed looking slightly perplexed.

I stepped out into the sunlight onto the sidewalk and just like that, all thoughts of breakfast were instantly gone as I came face to face with the Volvo.

Shit!

I hadn't realised that my aversion to the stupid sliver car had manifested.

The Volvo was now my nemesis.

Not only did my theory play a part in my aversion to Volvo drivers but also my irrationality was now being fed by the fact that the car had floored me.

Literally!

I must have visibly grimaced and of course, Edward noticed. "You don't like Volvos do you? "

""Erm…"

What the bleeding hell was I supposed to say.

I'm sure that Edward would just love to hear about my theory about Volvo drivers.

Yeah, he's bound to want to hear all about how I can judge a man by the type of car he drives and that Volvo man was someone who should be avoided at all costs.

And of course, he wouldn't be offended in the slightest.

Not!

So, I lied. "I don't dislike Volvos."

"Good!" He stated opening the car door for me.

Shit!

He was expecting me to get in.

It was me versus the Volvo, round two and I wasn't sure who was going to win.

Now do I go for the traditional method of getting into the car or do I do adapt my technique?

Traditional method or adaptation?

I opted for the adaptation.

So, craning my head backwards slightly and allowing my back to arch in the same direction, I managed to slither into the car afflicting no pain or damage to either machine or myself.

Edward began to chuckle. "I've never seen anyone limbo their way into a car before." He said and I began to feel the familiar heat wash over my cheeks.

Limbo!

I thought I'd managed to carry out that manoeuvre with a great deal of grace and finesse. I gave him a weak smile and pulled at the seatbelt. I wasn't even going to dignify that statement with a response. I would have liked to have given him a witty one liner but my brain didn't work that fast and by the time I realised this, Edward had shut the car door, walked round the car and was taking his place in the driving seat and the moment had passed.

"So, do you drive?" He enquired gently as he turned the key in the ignition.

"Um yeah" I responded. "I had a 1969 Camaro Coupe for a while when I lived in New York but I sold it." I continued. Well heck! If we were going to talk automobiles then I was willing to chat because if there was one thing I knew a lot about it was cars! "I'm saving for a new ride."

He glanced over at me with a mixture of shock and bewilderment on his face. He seemed to be having some difficulty forming his words. "That's some car!"

"Yeah, I loved her. She was my baby." I explained, trying hard not to sound emotional. "It took me nearly a year and all my spare time rebuilding her."

"You rebuilt her?" Edward questioned.

"Um yeah." I confirmed. "She was just a shell when I got her."

"You rebuilt her? " Edward asked again.

"Yeah, I rebuilt her from the ground up." I replied.

Edward sat there for a while in silence. "You never fail to surprise me Bella." He eventually said a smile playing on the corner of his mouth.

"Oh!" I wasn't sure whether this was meant as a compliment or not. "Cars are a passion of mine," I continued nervously. "That's why I do what I do."

Edward eyes left the road for a second as he turned to look at me. "What is it that you do Bella?"

"I'm a mechanic" I replied matter of factly.

Edward didn't respond straight away because he was too busy choking on air and it took him a few moments to compose himself. "Like I said," he eventually managed to stutter, "You never fail to surprise me." He gave me an encouraging smile. "I don't mean to sound rude, but you never struck me as someone who would know about the internal workings of a combustion engine."

"The internal workings of a combustion engine! " I repeated. "Oh, it's easy. It's just a case of suck, bang, squeeze and blow."

"What….what did you just say?" Edward gasped.

"A combustion engine, it's just a case of suck, bang, squeeze and blow."

Whoops!

Having said that twice, I realised I sounded like a porno star from one of those badly acted, lewd, adult films full of suggestive words.

It was badly dubbed porn!

I bit my bottom lip nervously. "Obviously, the working of a combustion engine is far more complicated than that. I can explain it if you'd like?"

Edward licked his lips and once again turned to look at me. "Let's not ruin the moment!"

I felt the car come to an abrupt standstill and I noticed immediately that we were not at the diner; in fact, we were nowhere near. I turned toward Edward who was already looking at me with a very peculiar look on his face. Without breaking his gaze, he unbuckled his seat belt and leaned in so much so that I could feel his breath on my face. "Do you know what I'm thinking?" He asked his voice low and deep.

"Erm, no." I answered truthfully. "I'm not telepathetic"

He took a sharp breath inward, a small smile played on the corner of his mouth and then he shook his head slightly. "I was thinking about how much I would like to kiss you."

Frigging hell!

Edward Cullen wanted to kiss me.

Holy cow!

I wanted to kiss Edward Cullen.

Shit!

We were going to kiss.

I leant in slowly closing the distance until I was a couple of inches or so away from his face and then everything came together just right as his lips touched mine, softly at first and then a little harder and I swear in that moment birds sang, the planets aligned, champagne corks popped and fireworks lit up the sky all at the same time.

It was fucking fantastically perfect and I never wanted this moment to end.