Title: A Hero For Sale
Author: Lady FoxFire
Pairing(s): None
Rating: PG-13
Setting: Post Transformers - 2007 Live Action
Warning: Do not eat or drink while reading
Category(s): Comedy
Summary: What do you get when you mix slavery, aliens robots and miscommunications?
Disclaimer: I don't own the Transformer universe nor any of the character from the Live Action Movie because if I didn't there won't be so many plot holes in the second movie and no way in hell would Sam send Bee away.
Bad Author Notes: I love being a writer. It's the only way I get to torture people and have them beg for more... well there is a different way to do that but it's really nor my cup of tea beside as a writer I get to torture a lot of people at once. And with that said on with the fic...
The yellow Camaro with black racing stripe flew down the highway. Weaving in and out of traffic with the grace and skill of an Olympic speed skater.
"You seem to be distracted, Sam," Bumblebee said as he roared past a semi truck hauling a wide load.
Sam shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry. Just lost in thought," he replied half-heartedly.
"About the auction?" Bumblebee asked cautiously.
Sam nodded his head. "Just trying to come up with a way to get out of it."
"We could fake your death," Bumblebee suggested. "We could move away and create a new identity for you."
Sam laughed out loud at the suggested. "I can see that! I would be a fugitive on the run, hiding from my mom and Mikaela. Too bad it would never work."
"Why wouldn't it work?" Bumblebee demanded. "I can easily hack your government computers and create a new identity for you even a birth certificate."
Sam snorted. "Well my mom for one thing. She would know I wasn't dead and then using her mystic radar she would track me down and drag me back home."
"Mystic radar," Bumblebee echoed.
Sam shrugged his shoulders. "I think it's something every mother has. I know Miles' mom has it. She always knew when he was in something he shouldn't be. Got us in trouble a lot of times."
"What's the other reason," Bumblebee asked as he sent information about this mystic radar to the others.
"You," Sam said simply. "I can't imagine that the government would react well if you up and disappeared one day."
"So there is nothing we can do to free you?" Bumblebee asked.
"From the auction?" Sam asked before continuing on. "Well you could pray to whatever you believe that some hot girl buys me for my body. Ohhh maybe a set of twins. That would be nice."
"While I agree with you that it's a good idea, I don't believe that now would be the most opportune time to bring the subject up to them," Defense Secretary Keller said as he stared at the men across the desk.
"Yes, sir," Tom Banachek replied. "I understand completely."
"And you're making a big mistake," Simmons snorted crossing his arms over his chest.
"Be that as it may the decision has been made and you will abide by it," Keller growled. "Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir," Banachek and Simmons both replied with some reluctance from Simmons.
"Good now is there any other business?" Keller demanded
Before either Banachek and Simmons could say a word there was a knock at the office door.
"Come in," Keller called out with a weary sigh.
The door opened and Maggie Madsen poked her head in. Seeing that Banachek and Simmons were also in the office she slipped the rest of the way in before firmly shutting the door.
"Sorry to interrupt sir," Maggie said her Australian accent was stronger due to her nervous, "but I didn't think something like this could wait."
"What is it Maggie?" Keller asked.
"Well, sir, you know how part of my responsibilities are to track Cybertronians transmissions," Maggie said.
"Uh huh," Keller nodded for her to go on.
"Well I notice recently that there been more chatter than normal from the Autobots," Maggie explained. "So I pulled the past week recording and well" She held out a folder towards the Defense Secretary. "I think you should read it, sir."
Keller took the folder and started to read the papers inside, handing the pages off to Banachek to read as he finished them who in turned handed them to Simmons to read.
"You have got to be kidding me," Simmons exclaimed as he finished reading the transcripts. "They can't be that stupid to believe that someone was going to sell the kid."
Keller and Banachek looked towards Maggie for answers.
"Any explanations for this, Maggie?" Keller asked
"Well, sir, I think the Autobots rely on the Internet too much," she replied.
"How so?" Banachek asked.
Maggie sat down in an empty chair as she gathered her thoughts. "I'm figure that on their world before their war started they had something like the Internet but their society was more cohesive. They probably didn't have the amount the differences we do on religion, government or social norms. Because they didn't have the range of difference that we do, their Internet wouldn't contradict itself like ours does. So I think they're simply getting confused with everything."
"Are you saying that they're getting confused because they are more Borg like and we're more like the scatter brained Federation?" Simmons asked.
Maggie, Keller and Banachek looked at Simmons in surprise.
"So I like Star Trek," Simmons grumbled as Banachek shook his head sadly.
"So why haven't they asked for an explanation?" Keller asked. "I know I would have."
"It could be that they have," Banachek replied, "and that answer either confirmed their belief that Witwicky was being sold into slavery or confused them more so that they believe in planning for the worst."
"So in other words instead of coming out and asking the question theyre tip-toeing around the mine field," Keller said with a snort. "Diplomatic nightmare."
"Pretty much," Banachek said with a shrug.
"Fine. I want you to go out there and clean this mess up," Keller commanded. "And make sure they understand that when they come across something like this that they need to come to someone and ask question instead off going off half cocked."
"Yes, sir," Banachek said as Simmons simply nodded his head.
As Banachek and Simmons walked down the hallway towards the exit, Banachek says softly, "I know that look Simmons; what are you planning?"
An almost diabolic grin formed on Simmons face. "I was thinking of grabbing the tiger by the tail and giving it a yank," he replied.
Banachek turned and looked at his friend. "I really don't want to know do I?" he said.
"Deniability, my friend. Deniability," he said as he walked on leaving Banachek in his wake.
