Starfire had had a rough pregnancy. Mar'i had been very active in the womb, kicking and wiggling and announcing her presence. She really did take after her mother in that respect. Even before she she was born, she'd always had that exuberant energy. Raven could only imagine what Starfire's mother had gone through when pregnant, having a full Tamaranian child. Not that Starfire hadn't loved her pregnancy. She was often in pain while playing kicking bag to her developing daughter, but every episode ended with her happily rubbing her extending belly, often exclaiming how well Mar'i was growing. Even with tears of pain on her face sometimes, the smile was always bright and honest. It was beautiful. But it also kept Raven worried and on edge for months. She knew how easily things could go wrong.

The birth had been even worse. There were complications and it took almost a full day. A full day in which Starfire struggled to let her daughter out and keep herself contained. Her powers had gone into flux. The room was nearly destroyed. Dick hadn't even been able to stay. It was too dangerous. They were so lucky that the league included several medical professionals. Raven thanked the powers that be that there were doctors in the world who had the circumstances to become super heroes. She couldn't have handled that day without them. She had been present, both for her friend, and as a stand-by protective measure. She kept the collateral damage contained. As much as she could. But watching Starfire lose control, watching her friend writhe in pain as her powers destroyed the area around her and she struggled with everything in her to let her body do what it needed to, to safely let her daughter into the world? It had been hard. That loss of control. It reminded her too much of her own tenuous grasp. Of what her own loss of control could unleash. What it had once unleashed, when she was young and afraid.

She had kept herself in control though. For hours she stood vigilant as her powers held the room strongly protected and her best friend fought for her baby. And when it was done, they had something beautiful. Starfire and Dick sat together and wondered at the new life they had created. Raven, collapsed in the chair in the corner, had watched on, Gar joining her as the new little family sat in a world of their own. It was peaceful, and joyous, and just beautiful.

Mar'i was a treasure. She looked so much like her father, except for those shining emerald eyes. She had her father's power of concentration, focusing on an item or task until she had mastered it, with nothing able to distract her. When Gar had gifted her a stuffed lion she had run her tiny hands over every inch of it and played with how she could balance and move it for nearly an hour before she would allow him to take it back and have it roar in her face. At which point she was delighted and roared back. Needless to say, Mar'i and Garfield were great play buddies. Dick had laughingly told her about how intensely focused Mar'i was when breastfeeding. The first few months she always breastfed with an intensely serious look on her face that both parents found hilarious. But she also took after her mother. She had Star's boundless energy, sweet temperament, and joy of exploration. In other words, she was a handful. An exuberant, delightful, darling little handful.

Raven was her main babysitter when her parents had to go on missions, or needed couple time. Some found this a bit odd, but Raven had experience caring for children, even super children, and her powers were still one of the best for protection. And she took great joy in watching Mar'i. So did Garfield. So much that he had recently suggested (gently and offhandedly, really just introduced the idea of) having their own. It was an idea she didn't know what to do with. But she would watch Starfire and Dick and Mar'i. The struggles, and the joys, and the fulfillment. She could have that.

But as wonderful as Mar'i was, Raven still had nightmares sometimes about the day she was born. She remembered watching Starfire. Watching her fall apart. Watching her lose control. It could have gone so wrong. If she hadn't been strong enough, if it had taken much longer, she might have died. They both could have. Starfire and Mar'i. If Raven hadn't been able to hold onto her own control, to keep her emotions in check, things could have been worse. She had barely held it together, and she wasn't even the mother. Star had barely held herself together, needing special sun treatments afterwards to get her cell energy up enough to recover. Star was unbothered, said it was just part of being Tameranian, but it still kept Raven up at night sometimes. If that were her, if she had lost control…

At that moment Mar'i decided to jump off the back of the couch and almost crashed into the lamp on the end table. Raven immediately wrapped her in black energy, freezing her in midair, and summoned her over to float in front of her, body still mid jumping motion. She arched her brow at the toddler who looked put out for just a moment before smiling bashfully.

"Sorry Raven…" Raven kept her there for a few more seconds, then melted into an amused smile and released her. She remained floating, using her own developing power, before teetering and falling gently onto her feet.

"Still working on the flight?"

"Yup." she nodded enthusiastically, floating back up a few inches as she did, cycling her legs and waving her arms. Then she dropped down again. Raven's smile widened a bit.

"Does that help?"

"I saw it in a cartoon. You go off a cliff, then you do this-" she waved her arms in circles at her sides, "and you float and go back, and the guy chasing you goes off the cliff and he falls and then there's this hole that looks like them in the floor." She said it so earnestly. Raven wiped off her smile as if this was a very serious conversation.

"Ah. I see. Is someone chasing you?" She looked over her shoulder as if searching for someone.

"Well-" She was cut off as Gar suddenly jumped into the living room.

"Yes!" He proclaimed as he transformed into a large dog and tackled the child. Raven sighed. Her husband had apparently arrived home without her noticing. He playfully growled as he wrestled with the squealing toddler, rolling on the floor, pushing at each other and making a mess of Mar'i's hair. It was a shame. They had just braided it too. She settled down on the couch again to wait until they were done.

It was rough play, but if you watched, Gar was always incredibly careful. They never got too close to any furniture. His rolls always balanced so that Mar'i never knocked her head on the ground and when it was close, he made sure to have a soft paw under her head. He pushed his big dog head into her, but always held back just enough so she could struggle to push him back, but it never hurt. He would sometimes fein at biting, but he never really did, nipping her with a soft jaw at most. It was a game they played a lot. Cub training, Gar had explained to her. Like big cats teaching their young how to fight. Mar'i loved it.

He was always like that. Rough, but careful. Their relationship was the same. When they started dating, when they fought, when they got married. He always pushed her, challenged her to come out of her shell, out of her head, but he was always careful. Careful of her feelings, of her limits, of her boundaries. Her drove her crazy sometimes, (often really, when they were first dating) but he made her more herself. He made her communicate, made her learn how to work through her issues instead of locking herself away in her mind. She loved him for it. He was so solid. A focal point when she would have otherwise gotten lost in the storm of her thoughts. He would make an amazing father.

But could she be a mother? That was another matter entirely. She had been a guardian. She'd watched over Melvin, Timmy and Teether over the years, watched them grow. It was wonderful, and she loved them, but it wasn't the same. They were "her kids" but not her children. Watching Mar'i, talking to Starfire and Dick about it, it was something different. When it's your child. When you're "Mommy" and "Daddy" and this new little life is yours to nurture and grow into into their own person. Not that it was about genetics. It was the same with adoption. Just knowing that this is your child. Not someone you're watching for a while, not someone temporary, but yours. Watching them grow, forming them, growing with them. Living it. It was different.

The match seemed to be over. Gar stood up, changing back to his own form and tucking a breathless giggling Mar'i under one arm. He smiled at her and stepped forward. She got up and moved towards him too, tilting her head up to look him in the eye. He had gotten notably taller than her over the years. She remembered when they were teens and she would tease him with a side eye from her slightly higher vantage. Now he teased her for being the shortie among the ranks. She always was petite.

He put his free hand on her waist and drew her in. "Hey, Mama. How you doing down there?" She rolled her eyes but smiled. He was such a dork. He leaned down to kiss her and she brought her hands up gently to his face to hold him there. He felt so good. It didn't last long though. Mar'i caught her breath again and startled wiggling in Gar's hold.

"Lemme go! Lemme go!" she squealed happily kicking her feet. Gar drew back and met Raven's eyes, grinning.

"What do you think, Rae? Should I let her go? Or should I keep her prisoner and use her for my evil schemes?"

She kept a stoic face and tapped her chin to demonstrate that she was considering the options. "Hmmm, she could make a good bargaining chip. We could make Nightwing do our dirty work in exchange for her safe return."

"I'll escape!" she declared confidently, and Gar hiked her up closer to his body.

"That's true." he said thoughtfully. "She's very tricky. And now she's learning to fly. It might be hard to keep her."

"But we could brainwash her to do our bidding. Make her a double agent and then give her back to Nightwing and Starfire as a spy."

"Nooooo!" She kicked harder and laughed. "I'm gonna be a good guy! Like Superman!" She really was enthralled with Superman lately. Raven and Garfeild both gasped dramatically.

"We can't go up against someone like that! You better let her go, Gar." He did, gently putting her down, where she promplty faced them and put her hands on her hips. puffing up her chest and sticking out her chin proudly. It was her "super" stance. She held it for all of 5 seconds before breaking character and grinning manically as she bounced in place.

"Mommy said Superman was coming to visit next week. He wants to see how I fly. Since he flies different from Mommy. And Mommy flies different from you guys. And Daddy can't really fly but he jumps a lot and it's close." She was pretty much climbing Garfield by this point. "Hey Gar, can you fly in different ways? Or is it always like a bird? Can you fly like a helicopter?" She rambled on like that for a while, climbing all over Garfield like a jungle gym and swinging from his extended arms like monkey bars until he grabbed her and settled on the couch holding her in his lap. She really never did stay still for long.

They managed though. She kept talking as Garfield rebraided her hair and as Raven took her to change into her pajamas. She tried to continue, as she brushed her teeth, but relented when Raven told her it was rude. She was calming down, recognizing that it was time for bed, but still bounced slightly as she walked with Raven to the guest room. Only once she was tucked snuggly into bed with her stuffed lion did she seem to settle. She asked for Raven to read to her, as she often did, and smiled sweetly as Raven recited poetry for her, gradually slipping into sleep.

When her breathing was steady, Raven sent the book back to the shelf as she gently removed the child's hand from where it gripped her shirt. She tucked the little hand under the blankets and for a moment just watched her sleep. With a kiss on the forehead she got up to leave, but not before hearing a tired little mumble.

"Mommy…"

I could have this. She thought it and looked to the doorway where her husband leaned against the frame smiling at her. I want this.