Chapter 12: Stop and Stare

Manhattan, New York…

"Gabi…c'mon talk to me," Troy whispered as he embraced her, "I promised I'll always here."

"Yeah and I…think you did keep your promise," Gabriella cried hugging him, "Wow it's unbelievable when you find out 10 years too late the truth behind why Bernardo was never a dad in my life."

"I'm so sorry I should have told you…I didn't want to see you get hurt…I just wanted to protect you from knowing the truth."

"Truth or not I'd would have still figured out..." Gabriella sighed, "Here I am almost close to knowing my real dad only to find out…that he died of aids last year."

It was hard for Gabriella to digest the news to learn that Bernardo Diaz, her biological father died last year and it even made it hard for her to accept the concept that she never have gotten the chance to meet him, or even remember if she ever did meet him. She didn't know what to think, what to do, or how to handle it, but all she was doing right now was sitting in the lobby with Troy figuring out their next plan of action.

"Gabi…we've been sitting here for two hours," Troy replied, "Is…there anything you want?"

"I spent all my life wondering what my real dad was like, who he was, or ever wonder if I ever at all met him once in my entire life. There are things I don't know about my biological parents than from what my mom and dad told me about them. I feel…I feel like Bernardo made it his intention to prevent me from finding out about him, Maria, or about what they were like before I was born! It was like…he didn't want me, or he didn't want me to be apart of his life at all! I will remember about him is that he's my biological dad…or was my biological dad that died of aids. Troy…did you come only come with me to stop me from knowing the truth about Bernardo."

"Apart of it…yes and apart of it no. At first I refused to hear what your dad had to say about Bernardo and Maria because it wasn't my place to butt in, but he insisted I knew the truth too as to why your parents split." Troy pulled out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket and handed it to Gabriella, "Your dad knew you would somehow end up coming here despite him warning you not to go. He actually did keep in contact with Bernardo while you were living in Newport with your mom at the time and during the last few months of his life that was what he told me. Whether or not I did stop you…I knew somehow you would end up having the last say on what you decide." Gabriella opened up her dad's letter and read it.

Gabriella,

If in case this note reaches you too late and you learn about the fate of Bernardo, just remember no matter what happens remember that you'll always have people who love and care about you. If you want to learn more about your biological dad…there have been some arrangements made…just tell them who you are.

Love always your father

A minute later after finishing reading her father's note, Troy and Gabriella went back to the receptionist's desk to inquire more information about Bernardo Diaz. She led them to a man's office by the name of Charlie Sawyer who had information about Bernardo for the both of them. It was the only way for Gabriella to learn so much at this point about her real father with Troy by her side.

"So…I'm guessing that you must be Gabriella Montez I presume?" Charlie asked, "You do have Bernardo's resemblance in you…he always spoken highly of you."

"How could he if I never met him or if he never met me?" Gabriella asked, "What…happened to him because I want to know."

"Bernardo…actually was a resident here at Ostroff Center for nearly 14 years," Charlie explained, "You see when Bernardo first came here he was in a tight situation with a massive drug problem he had for heroin and it accumulated to a deadly drug addiction. The first time I met him he explained what has happened such as running away from his girlfriend and daughter in San Diego and coming down to New York to work as a musician to earn money for you. He told us about Maria and you."

"Did he know that Maria had cancer when he left Gabriella and her mom?" Troy asked.

"The day he found out that Maria was sick was the day he got his admission test," Charlie sighed, "He originally checked himself in here for rehab and when he found out the ramifications of his drug problem…it destroyed him because the needles he was using for heroin were shared among other people who have used them, and to add injury he contracted it through a one night stand with a girl he met at a gig. He tested positive and revealed it to Maria when she begged him to look after you if in case she never recovered." Feeling that Charlie's story would upset Gabriella more, she snapped because she had this gut feeling she knew the fate of Maria and Bernardo.

"Okay…so they must have been a bit screwed up in their lives like Bernardo running off to New York to get high enough to contract something that killed him and leaving Maria in San Diego with me while she was dying," Gabriella snapped, "And all I can say is that…you know what I don't what I can say about it because it was their lives and being their only daughter apparently whatever those two were going through neither of them couldn't cope with taking care of me that they put me up for adoption!"

"But Gabi you were very young when all this happened it was literally impossible for you to remember," Troy assured her, "They were your parents."

"Yeah and it's nice to know that my real father was actually a drug addict musician with HIV who in the entirely of the remainder of his life didn't have the courage to find me or seek out the daughter he couldn't raise!"

"Hey…you got to understand that he suggested it because he didn't want you to end up like him and find a family who would love and care for you," Charlie added, "He severed ties to Maria afterwards and it broke his heart giving her up and his parental rights and believe me he did love Maria from what he told me. After that, he lived here on residence till the remainder of his days trying to redeem himself and turning his life around until when his condition got worse, he called your dad to make some final arrangements for him."

"What…do you mean?" Gabriella asked.

"If in the event you were to ever show up one day and track down any information about Bernardo, your dad and him made arrangements to leave all of his possessions including the letters, pictures, everything…to you," Charlie replied as he presented a box containing Bernardo's personal belongings, "At first Bernardo instructed your father and mother to prevent you from making contact with him…but somehow eventually if you found your way down here you would apparently know the truth about him. He felt…that as a last intention for you his daughter, Bernardo wants to leave all of his things to you."

"Why…would he want to leave all his stuff to me?" Gabriella questioned, "What…do I get out of this?"

"It was specific instructions to leave everything to you and your adopted parents," Charlie added, "Bernardo didn't really have much family around, but when he was here at Ostroff he actually managed to help others get back on their feet. Actually, your father had quite a bit of funds which he left to various charities he volunteered at. He also left specific instructions to your father to represent reading his will and since I did my part on turning over all of Bernardo's possessions, the rest is now up to you."

Thank you Mr. Sawyer," Troy and Gabriella replied as they left, "We really appreciate the help." As the two stepped outside of the Ostroff Center, they saw her dad's black limo waiting for them in front with her and the gang waiting for Gabriella and Troy.

"Gabi…did everything go well?" Mr. Montez asked, "Here, let me take it from here."

"Thank you…daddy," Gabriella sighed as she held Troy's hand, "Troy, can we go home now?"

"Anything you want Gabriella," Troy replied as they got in the limo, "We're ready Mr. Montez."

Montez Residence…

Back at the penthouse, the others came back to Gabriella's place and they all had dinner while Mr. Montez explained the situation as to what Troy and Gabriella found out at the Ostroff Center. Gabriella didn't want to talk to anyone that she spent nearly half the night up in her bedroom refusing to talk to anybody about her visit to the Ostroff Center or about Bernardo's death that Mr. Montez and Troy were worried about her.

"She won't come down even after I told Gabriella that her dad made dinner," Taylor replied.

"Don't worry she'll come down on her own time," Chad added, "Hey I don't blame her if she is shutting us out for now, Gabriella will come around."

"Yeah considering the fact that she found out that her biological dad has been dead for a year and Gabi didn't know about it," Kelsi said, "But at least she knew who her real dad was."

"But she never met the man before," Jason said, "Heck he wasn't involved in Gabi's life for all those years he never got the chance to know her. Why would she sad about that?"

"Although none of you guys don't know what it's like to be an adopted child not knowing much about your old life learning about Bernardo's passing was hard for her," Troy suddenly said to Jason, "So Bernardo wasn't around and he couldn't take care of Gabriella after Maria died so he wanted to make sure that Gabi ended up living a good life. I never knew my real parents because they died when I was five years old…but although I don't remember much about them they were still part of my life and it matters to the both of us to least remember parts of our old lives or memories of them."

"I'm sorry dude…I didn't know it met that much to her," Jason said.

"Hey Jason don't worry all is forgiven," Troy replied, "You didn't know…none of you didn't."

"Oh shoot it's our mom," Ryan replied as his cellphone was going off, "We have to head back to the Palace Sharpay because we're having dinner with Aunt Lily. Zeke, Martha we got to head out soon."

"Literally I really don't like having dinner with Aunt Lily, but we get to meet her new husband Bart and her stepson Chuck," Sharpay sighed, "At least cousin Serena and Eric will be there."

"Hey Shar is your Aunt Lily that uptight socialite aunt that came last summer for a visit at the Country Club for your parents' anniversary?" Zeke asked.

"That's the one," Sharpay replied as her phone went off again, "Darn this is why I hate sometimes coming to New York, although they do have good shops and nice residences up on the Upper Eastside of Manhattan. I do want to stay and see if Gabriella is going to be alright after everything that happened today."

"Well we're all ready to go," Martha replied as her, Zeke, Ryan and Sharpay were leaving.

"Anyways guys, call us tomorrow and we'll see if we can do something to cheer Gabriella and stuff," Sharpay and Ryan replied, "Have a good night guys."

"Take care you guys," the others replied, "We'll have fun before we head back home."

"So…your other friends have left?" Mr. Montez asked as he entered the room, "Any word from Gabriella yet?"

"No sir she hasn't come down yet," Troy sighed, "Mr. Montez I guess she is taking it pretty hard considering this is her biological dad who passed away. I made her a promise to her a long time ago to help her be brave and have courage to stand up to anything…I told her that when we were five years old. Being with her and being around Gabi helped me refill the promise I made to her a long time ago…this is how much I love Gabriella and I would do anything for her. I would stand by her through thick and thin sir because she and I are both alike in many ways."

"Well then I guess you're about one of the only few people here that knows the real Gabriella Montez," Mr. Montez smiled as Troy went upstairs to his girlfriend's room, "She probably needs someone who knows about the old life…maybe you can help her again."

"Thanks Mr. Montez," Troy said going upstairs.

"Hey Troy…if Gabi has any doubts that she never knew Bernardo tell her to look through her father's belongings," Mr. Montez smiled, "There are some things she won't remember because she was too young to know but not everything she heard before maybe true."

Meanwhile upstairs in Gabriella's bedroom, Gabriella spent half the night going through all of Bernardo's belongings and looking through his collections of letters he wrote to Maria and some of the pictures that were taken years before she was born. She really never knew her father and only had a few memories of her biological mother. Apart of her was trying to come to terms of what she longed for these last 17 years of her life of meeting her birth father, only to find out he has been dead for over a year. She tried not to cry because she thought it wouldn't matter, but for some reason it did matter and then she heard a knock on her door.

"I said I wanted to be left alone dad!" Gabriella replied, "I'll come down for dinner later!"

"Gabriella…it's me Troy c'mon open the door," Troy replied, "Please…let me in Gabi please."

"What do you want Troy? Can't you see I just need time to try to come to terms with everything that happened. Dad was right that I shouldn't have gone to Ostroff today to find out about Bernardo and discovered that my dad had HIV for over 12 years and that was what caused him to leave Maria and me all those years ago! I don't know what to make of it…think of the man as a self righteous bastard who up and left the love of his life in San Diego all those years ago or a coward of a man I should call father who didn't have the decency to at least attempt to find me!"

"I think otherwise Gabi," Troy replied, "I know you've spent the last couple of hours trying to shut out everyone but please don't shut me out too. I've always kept my promise to you all those years ago of not letting anything or anyone make you sad and that you won't feel alone in this world. You were there for me when I needed you when I lost my parents and I needed a friend a long time ago when I felt alone, but I failed to keep my promise after I left you at St. Luke's and I couldn't protect you. I just wish…there was more I could do for you." A minute later, Troy heard the lock on Gabriella's bedroom door unlock as she opened the door and let Troy into her room.

"You've already done so much for me…you helped me remember you and our time back at St. Luke's together Troy. I just…when we found each other again everything I thought I could bury in the past can back again and I needed to know a few things for closure. I knew the risk of what was going to happen but I still wanted to find out about my birth parents, about Bernardo or about what happened to them all those years ago because it was also apart of my life that I needed to know. I know things changed within the years and times change and people change but you and me…what we had then and now will never change. You did so much that I don't know how to ever repay you back Troy except love you back for being with me every step of the way."

"Look Gabi I'm sorry you had to find out that way about Bernardo but you wanted to know everything there is to your birth parents and although both of them are gone, now you got a chance to find out what they were like thanks to everything you have in front of you. Do you remember during the first few weeks of arriving at St. Luke's you and I bonded over wondering what it was like for our parents to be in heaven? I only had five years to spend with my biological folks before they died in that car accident, I don't remember much about them except from what my dad told me about my real mom. I remember how you told me that your mom told you your dad lived in England and we came up with this really crazy thought about finding heaven to see our parents."

"We were really innocent back then and very curious to how all there is about life," Gabriella added, "Even when I look at all these pictures and read all these letters Bernardo wrote they too were young back then curious about what life had to offer. I was four years old and this was one of the many few memories I had of Maria where she told me about how it was Bernardo's dream to take her to England and one day play a live show there with her up on front stage cheering him on. That's where…I got the idea that my dad maybe living in England because of that, but I read more and more of these letters it seemed like the one thing that Bernardo regretted was letting go of Maria or for us to…" Gabriella suddenly stopped as she flipped a picture over and saw a picture of Bernardo, Maria and…herself about two years of age in New York, which made her stop and stare at the picture with a letter attached.

"What's the matter?" Troy asked, "Are you okay?"

"I rarely knew him…and I thought I never met him at least once in my life but I was wrong and I never remembered meeting him," Gabriella replied as she started to cry, "I mean I know I was only two judging by this picture when I met him but it comes to show you…at least at one point or another…he was in my life, even if it was only for a brief moment. If he were still alive I'm guessing life would be so different…but it would mean that the best thing that has ever happened to me never did…meaning you."

"There's something attached to the picture," Troy replied as she handed the picture over to him and read the letter that was on it, "Do you want me to read it?" Gabriella nodded yes.

Dear Bernardo,

Who would have thought that a lot has changed since we were fourteen years old and we realized that we were truly in love with each other. This would probably be one of the worst letters I've written once we realized that fate would cut what we had short. You tried to push me away but I couldn't resist giving you at least one chance to see show you what we had created something beyond our wildest dreams. I think about you everyday and I wouldn't forget that one day we had together as a family when I came down to see you in New York with Gabriella. You couldn't tell me about your admission it's okay I understand but why must you insist on pushing us away even more? I wanted you to keep this picture as a reminder of everything we had and whatever happens, I want you to know that I would always love you and that my heart will always be forever yours. I'm not sure what the future holds for us, or for our daughter but I would never forget how you smiled when you first saw her but wherever you are, remember that I'll always be with you. At least one good thing came out of this, you managed to see how much our daughter is so much like you dreaming and imagining all the possibilities that life has to offer. Promise me you won't forget that.

Love always Maria

"At least their happy together," Gabriella slightly smiled, "At least…I know that he was part of my life at one point and I did meet him, and that he truly loved Maria. I can finally come to terms with it now and at keep this all as a reminder of my old life and combine it with the life I have now."

"Do you ever wonder sometimes if fate is at work here?" Troy asked as the two began to cuddle on the bed, "They loved each other since they were teens and then unfortunate events separate them forever. Wherever they are now, at least somehow in the end their past has managed to be rested in peace and you can move on."

"You're right Troy…I know now what happened to the two of them and I'll learn more one day about them just like with your parents," Gabriella smiled, "You and I are really two of kind aren't we trying to figure out the past, present and future? Fate did even bring us together and I'll say…that ever since I first met you somewhere in my heart I knew you were my destiny just like Bernardo and Maria were met to be. I couldn't imagine life without you and being with you once again, I remember everything."

"Me too you and I forever," Troy smiled as they kissed, "You know how much I love you and promise to always be there for you and to protect you with my life."

"I know I love you too Wildcat," Gabriella replied, "I know you'd always keep your promise. I was listening to this earlier, and found a couple of tapes along with Maria's songbook that she gave him. She wrote in here: To my composer of the heart, keep the dream alive and the music in the heart."

"Do you want to hear one?" Troy asked as they put one of the cassettes into the stereo, "This one is called Stop and Stare." They played the cassette as they began to hear Bernardo's voice on the recorder as well as Maria's.

"Okay this is Maria Sanchez live here at the Freshmen Open Mic night at Davidson's Hall here at Berkley," they heard Maria, "Yeah go Bernie I love you sweetie! C'mon one more number honey! Anyways I'm recording this for the show tomorrow live on the radio so live here at Davidson Hall this Maria Sanchez." They could hear the crowd chanting as Bernardo was playing with his band.

"Okay Davidson Hall I want to dedicate this next number to my special girl Maria," they heard Bernardo's voice on the tape, "She's recording this session for the radio and don't worry people you're not going to hear anything that will jeopardize our radio show. Anyways Maria, this one goes out to you."

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us

It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust

I've got my heart set on anywhere but here

I'm staring down myself, counting up the years

Steady hands, just take the wheel...

And every glance is killing me

Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare

I think I'm moving but I go nowhere

Yeah I know that everyone gets scared

But I've become what I can't be, oh

Stop and stare

You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there

And you'd give anything to get what's fair

But fair ain't what you really need

Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push

Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...

Steady feet, don't fail me now

Gonna run till you can't walk

But something pulls my focus out

And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare

I think I'm moving but I go nowhere

Yeah I know that everyone gets scared

But I've become what I can't be, oh

Stop and stare

You start to wonder why you're here not there

And you'd give anything to get what's fair

But fair ain't what you really need

Oh, you don't need

(Author's Notes: I don't own the song Stop and Stare by One Republic.)