A/N - Revised November 3, 2018
Paige pushed the button on the intercom. She hadn't been expecting anybody. "Yeah?"
"Paige? It's me." Emily's voice was pleasant, if not enthusiastic. Paige went silent, and Emily, panicking a little, stuttered, "E... Emily."
Emily had shown up to Paige's apartment building because she decided that she wasn't going to go down without a fight. It wasn't over just because Paige had decided that it was over. Win or lose, she was going to give it her best shot.
"What do you want?" Paige replied, obviously annoyed.
That was it. Emily was trying to be the adult. She had promised herself that she was going to stay calm. But that question and that tone were too much for her to ignore.
She had given Paige space. She had given her time. Now, she needed to give Paige a good tongue-lashing. Urggh! She groaned internally, even more angry that she had let her mind go there. A good talking to.
"I'm here to deliver your pizza," she barked sarcastically. "What the hell do you think I want, Paige? We need to talk." Emily was tapping her foot, angry and impatient. Paige went silent - again - but, after a few seconds, Emily heard the buzzer, unlocking the lock and granting her entry into the building. Paige knew Emily to well enough to realize that she couldn't convince her to drop it. If Emily wanted to talk, they were going to talk.
Paige was scowling when she wordlessly opened the door to her apartment. It was a scowl of self-defense. She couldn't afford to crumble at the sight of Emily. Not again. They couldn't be lovers and, as the past couple of months had taught her, they couldn't be "just friends" either. So Paige had to keep the walls up.
Emily scoffed at the silent treatment from Paige. "Good evening," she said, leaning into Paige, to remind Paige of her manners.
"Won't you come inside?" Paige asked sarcastically.
Emily stepped into the apartment and waited for Paige to lead the way out of the foyer, but Paige just stood there, her hand still on the doorknob and the door still open. Seeing that Emily was waiting for her to make a move, she barked out, "You wanted to talk?"
"Here?" The tone of Emily's voice said, You've got to be kidding me.
Paige took an unnecessarily loud breath and gestured with her hand to the living room. Once Emily sat down on the couch, Paige plopped down in the recliner next to it.
"Look, Paige," Emily spat out, "I didn't move a thousand miles to Iowa just to be a thousand miles away from you again."
"Yeah, well, I never asked you to move to Iowa."
"Well, actually, yes, you did."
"I..." Paige's voice got high-pitched in disbelief. "No, I didn't!"
"Yes," Emily insisted, her eyebrows raised and nodding her head. "you did! Remember? 'I want you to come with me, somewhere we can start over, just the two of us.' What changed, Paige? What's different?" Paige rolled her eyes.
Nothing had changed. That was the problem.
Emily leaned forward on the couch, closer to Paige. "Tell me that you don't love me anymore, and I won't bother you again." Emily let her hands drop against her lap in finality. The venom was gone from her tone. Her tone was completely flat. She wasn't pleading or trying to charm Paige into changing her mind. She just wanted the truth.
Paige looked up , swiveling her head to look at the three walls in front of her, and then at ceiling. "I love you," she admitted, throwing her hands up. "You know that. But it's not enough. At some point, I have to take care of myself - take care of my heart." She stood up and turned away from Emily, her arms flailing as she talked. "I mean, pain exists for a reason. It's there for self-preservation. At some point, the memory of burning your fingers has to be enough to keep you from playing with fire again."
Emily stood up and put her hand on Paige's shoulder, to turn her around. "At some point," she said, mocking Paige's words, the anger back in her tone, "you're going to have to learn to trust people again." As she headed towards the door, she added, "I just hope that happens before you grow into a bitter, old woman."
Emily gasped slightly, slightly startled by the ringing of her doorbell. Nobody came to visit her out in Iowa. None of her colleagues really knew where she lived, since she moved off campus. She had a brief jolt of adrenaline – a mixture of panic and anticipation – at the thought that it might be Paige at the door, but that jolt quickly faded. She knew that Paige wouldn't come. Not after that fight. Not after that "bitter old woman" comment.
Emily sighed and tugged at her shirt, taking a quick look in the mirror before she headed to the door.
It was probably one of her neighbors, she figured. She wasn't really in the mood for company, but she did appreciate the fact that people checked on her, far from home, in a small town where she didn't have family and only had a few friends.
"Who is it?" she called out pleasantly.
"Surprise!"
Emily's breath hitched at the sound of a female voice, but her excitement was short-lived. It wasn't Paige's voice. It was…
"Ali?" Emily opened the door, and there stood Alison, looking as excited as Alison ever got, with her arms outstretched for a hug.
"What are you doing here?"
"Well," Alison began, struggling to lift her suitcase with both hands as she invited herself inside the apartment, "when my cousin told me that he was going to present a paper at a seminar in Iowa, I just knew I had to come along and spend some time with my best friend, Emily!" Alison forced her way into another hug. "Isn't this great?" she said, stroking Emily's hair as she backed away from the hug. "I always knew that I would be the first one of your friends to come out to see you!"
Emily forced a smile. There it was. Alison had to assert that she was the first; that she was a better friend to Emily than all of the other girls.
"So… you're… staying… here?" Emily stuttered.
"Uh huh!" Alison was being beyond perky. "They're putting Connor up in a suite, but I insisted that I would stay with you!" Alison squeezed Emily's shoulder. "It'll be just like the good old days, when we used to have our sleepovers! You've still got that nice big bed, right?"
Emily's eyes went wide with shock for an instant before she got control of her feelings. It was only an instant, but it was long enough for Alison to pick up on it.
"I'm just kidding," she said softly, stroking Emily's hair. Giving the room the once-over, she gestured towards the couch, with an expression like a sad kitten. "This old couch is fine for me," she sighed. "In fact, it's perfect!"
Emily shook her head quickly to clear her thoughts. "No, don't be silly, Ali. Of course, we can share my bed. It'll be ju… just like the good old days!"
Alison giggled in the back of her throat and tilted her head to the side. "Well, if you insist!" She let out an excited shriek and hugged Emily again. "Ahh! This is going to be so much fun!"
Emily, her face shielded from Alison's view by the hug, rolled her eyes. A visit from Alison was the last thing she needed. Still, she was going to make the best of it. It would be good to have a friend from home for the weekend. She could use the distraction.
"Well, uh… I'm afraid I wasn't prepared for visitors. I don't really have a lot to eat here…"
"Oh, that's all right," Alison said enthusiastically. "I'm not really hungry. I thought we could start with drinks!"
Emily chuckled dryly, wiggling her eyebrows. "Drinks, I've got." She turned towards the kitchen, but Alison grabbed her hand.
"No, silly! I want us to go out! Hit the town! What's that little watering hole you're always posting pictures from? Hammering Hank's?"
Emily didn't bother to correct her. She was pretty sure that Alison had messed up the name on purpose – all part of whatever her little game was. "Oh," Emily said dismissively, "You must be exhausted after that long drive. We can just have a quick drink here, and then I'll order some Chinese for dinner."
"Nope!" Alison's voice was animated, to make the point that she wasn't tired. "I'm fresh as a daisy! Connor insisted on driving the whole way." Alison shrugged her shoulders, chuckling. "He doesn't trust me behind the wheel."
Emily cringed internally, knowing that there must have been some subtle manipulation on Alison's part to get Connor to come to that conclusion. "Honestly, Ali…" Emily looked her in the eye, for perhaps the first time since she opened the door. "Hank's is more like a dive bar. There are better places to go for a drink. I can take you to…"
"Oh." Alison's voice was subdued. She turned away from Emily. "I get it. You don't want your girlfriend to see you with me."
"She's not my girlfriend!" The words came out too quickly, on reflex; before Emily could stop herself from falling into what she knew was Alison's trap.
Alison smirked. But by the time she turned to face Emily again, the smirk had morphed into a smile. "Well, then," she said slowly, "there's no reason for us not to go to Hank's then, is there?"
Emily sighed, doing her best not to roll her eyes. "I suppose not."
"Great!" Alison pressed her cheek to Emily's in another quick hug. She was certainly being touchy-feely. Emily knew exactly why. "Just give me a minute to put on my face!" Alison picked up her overnight bag and headed towards the other part of the apartment, calling out as she walked away from Emily, "Connor had the heat cranked up for the whole trip, and that dry air definitely didn't do my skin any favors!"
If they had been on better terms, Emily would have texted Paige, to warn her that Alison was in town. But, the way things were between them, that option was off the table. If she texted Paige, Paige would take it as proof that Emily had, once again, fallen back into Alison's arms. And if she just showed up at Hank's with Alison, Paige would take it as an ambush. Emily was damned if she did and damned if she didn't. The only thing she could do was pray that this would be one of the nights when Paige didn't show up at Hank's.
Emily did a quick sweep of the room when they walked in. Paige wasn't in her normal spot. As Emily's eyes continued, though, they met up with Paige's, at the other end of the bar, holding a beer in each hand. Paige looked crestfallen, for an instant, at the sight of Emily and Alison. That look quickly morphed into something else that was hard for Emily to characterize. It wasn't rage, although it was just as strong an emotion. It was more like defiance.
Emily hustled Alison into a booth, hoping that Alison hadn't spotted Paige. But that was ridiculous. Of course, she had spotted Paige. Emily could only hope that Alison wasn't going to start anything. She had made her power move; she had shown up with Emily on Paige's turf. Maybe that would be enough for her.
Alison smiled smugly. Things were falling into place nicely. Emily had been nervous since she first let her into her apartment, and she was in a full-on panic, once that the three of them were in the same room. Nervousness and panic meant that Emily would be off her game. There was no need to confront Paige directly. Emily was sending Paige a strong enough message just by being so jittery.
Paige couldn't believe what was happening. She didn't care what the reason behind it was – whether Emily was making some kind of statement, to get back at her for the rejection, or whether it was just Alison needling her, up to her old games. Whatever it was, it was total bullshit. She had moved away from Rosewood to get away from stupid games like this. But not only had Emily followed her, the bullshit had followed her, too. Everything inside her wanted to run away. But she didn't. She was through running. She was going to stand her ground. As she had predicted, Emily was never going to get over Alison. That was the reality. The only option left was for Paige to get over Emily. And that meant not freaking out when she showed up at Hank's with Alison.
Paige stood there calmly, talking to her friends, drinking her beer. She took a sip, and then another, and, next thing she knew, her glass was empty. She had been consciously trying not to rush, and yet she had downed her tall glass of beer in less than two minutes.
Fuck it. Her face was getting flushed. She was beginning to feel very warm. Her friend looked at her, concerned, as she started fanning herself to try to cool down.
"Are you okay?"
Paige nodded quickly. "I'm just going to step outside for a second. Get some air."
"Do you want some company?"
Paige shook her head. "Actually, I think I might just call it a night."
Emily looked up from whatever Alison was saying when she caught sight of Paige's movement in the corner of her eye. Paige was heading towards the bathroom – but that was also the way to the back door. Emily stood quickly and excused herself. "I'm going to run to the ladies' room."
"I'll go with you!" Alison put her hands on the table, about to stand up, but Emily froze her in place with a scowl. "Or, I could just wait here," Alison said to herself, throwing her hands up in surrender.
Emily walked calmly for as long as she was in Alison's line of sight, and then rushed after Paige. "Paige," she pleaded, just as Paige's hand hit the door. Paige turned around but didn't stop moving, using her back to push the door open. "She just showed up," Emily said earnestly. "And she insisted on coming here. I… I tried to talk her out of it!" Emily realized how pathetic her explanations sounded, even though they were true.
"You know what, Emily?" Paige said, exasperated. "I don't care anymore." She threw her hands up and let them fall against her thighs. "Have a nice evening." Paige turned and walked away. "Have a nice life."
"Paige… Paige!" Emily was almost crying, but Paige didn't stop. Emily grunted out loud and kicked the door. She was absolutely furious – at Alison.
"Did Paige leave?" Alison asked, playing innocent, when Emily returned to the table.
"Shut up, Alison." Emily was not in the mood.
"I beg your pardon?" Alison tried to be defiant.
"You heard me. Okay. You had your fun. You won. You upset my friend and drove an even bigger wedge between us. Game's over." Emily pulled on her coat, without a word to Alison about the fact that they were leaving.
Alison stood up and started to put her coat on, too. "Maybe it would be better if I stayed in Connor's suite tonight," she said softly.
"Yeah, maybe," Emily barked back.
Emily didn't even look at Alison on the drive back to her apartment. If she had, she would have seen the smug smirk on her face. It didn't matter that Emily was mad at her. The evening wasn't about Emily. She knew that Emily wasn't going to fall for her again, but, fortunately, she no longer needed her to. It was enough for Paige to see the two of them together – to see that Emily wouldn't think twice about taking her – the person Paige hated most – right into Paige's territory. That was enough to crush Paige's spirit.
Alison didn't want Emily. She just didn't want Emily with Paige.
Paige considered staying away from Hawkeye Hank's for a couple of weeks, until she was certain that Alison was out of town - probably with Emily following behind her. In the end, though, she decided - fuck it. She wasn't going to be pushed out of Hank's the way that she had been pushed out of so many other things in her life. She wasn't the same kid she was back in high school. Not that she had been a pushover in high school. Even then, she always knew that she could stand up to anyone. Well, everyone except for one person.
Emily.
Paige could never go against Emily. She would never allow herself to. In the end, she always stepped aside - even if that meant taking a break from swimming, when they were both vying for the captain's spot.
Even if it meant letting Alison think that she had won.
But those days of stepping aside were over. The previous night was an anomaly. Paige had been caught off guard, so she fell back into those old patterns automatically. But, once she knew what she was up against, she was back on track. She was ready to stand and fight.
"Why, if it isn't Paige McCullers!"
Paige turned in the direction of the woman's voice, her head swimming as the room swirled with the movement.
"Where the hell have you been? I haven't seen you here since forever!"
"I had a little… I had a little…" Paige's words were slurred and her eyes unfocused as she tried to form coherent thought. "I went through a little…" She burped, all of a sudden, and, all of a sudden, it was the funniest thing in the world. "Pardon me," she said overly dramatically, straightening her back up. "What I was saying was…" She furrowed her brow in confusion. "What was the question?"
Paige didn't usually go to Hank's to get drunk. Usually, she went for the companionship. This night was different. She had only one goal: To get drunk and forget all about Emily and their fight. She was tired of trying to find a way to get past Emily's final words about a bitter, old woman.
The woman who had greeted her was sitting on the barstool next to hers with a coquettish grin, coyly tucking her hair behind her ear, letting her hand remain on her neck as she twisted a strand of her blond locks between her fingers. Her face was blurring in and out, just on the fringes of discernibility, as Paige tried her hardest to get her eyes to focus. Tammi. That was it. Tammi with an "i" - and she certainly had an eye for Paige McCullers, though, for various reasons, they had never hooked up. Paige's face contorted into a half-smile, which her drunk mind thought was sexy but actually looked a little creepy. Maybe tonight would be the night. Maybe a substitute, to get her mind off of the real thing, was just what the doctor ordered.
Doctor... doctor... Tammi was a doctor of some sort. Not a medical doctor, but a doctor of humanities or letters, or some silliness like that. No matter, Paige thought. Doctor Tammi is definitely going to earn some extra credit in anatomy tonight.
Paige raised her finger towards Madisyn, who obligingly came over to refill her glass. Vodka. Paige preferred gin, but whenever she got drunk on gin, she ended up spending the night with her head in the toilet bowl, giving back everything she'd eaten or drunk that day. It took her a while, but she eventually took the hint: No matter how much she loved the way it tasted, her stomach couldn't stand gin, and her stomach got the final vote. You can only go back to the same old destructive patterns so many times before you're forced to admit what they're doing to you.
That doesn't mean that you don't miss the old patterns. Paige loved gin, and, of course, she missed it, but, when it came down to it, vodka could serve the same purpose. Drunk is drunk. In the end, it doesn't matter how you get there.
Emily bit her bottom lip as she stood in front of the doorway at Hank's. She was already fighting back tears. But she knew that she had to tough it out and go inside. She didn't even think that Paige would be back at the bar so soon, but she was desperate. Paige wasn't taking her calls, and she really needed to explain the situation with Alison. She needed Paige to know that she had sent Alison packing - literally.
Emily pushed open the doors and scanned the room. When her eyes caught up with Paige, her heart stopped. She tried to swallow, but there was a huge lump in her throat. Paige was talking to some woman Emily hadn't seen before. She looked slightly familiar; maybe from the early days, when Paige used to post pictures from Hank's on Instagram. Whoever the woman was, it was obvious that she and Paige knew each other. Watching them interact, Emily had flashbacks to the hoedown, when she watched from a distance as Paige chatted and laughed with her other friends. Paige was so confident and comfortable with them. Emily wasn't used to seeing her that way back then, except in the pool. Outside of the swim team, whenever Paige was with Emily, she was always deferential; tentative. It had been a shock for Emily to see her with those other girls, so self-assured.
Emily wanted to go over, as she had done back at the hoedown, and claim her girl. She wanted it with all her might, but her legs wouldn't move. Her body swiveled a couple of times as she tried to make herself go over, but, in the end, she turned around and exited the bar. She had hurt Paige so much - so often - back in high school. Who was she to step in and interfere this time, when Paige had a shot at happiness?
At least that's what Emily told herself as she walked back to her car. They were noble thoughts, but they weren't reality. The reality was that she was afraid. The reality was that their roles had reversed since high school. This time, Emily was the one who lost her confidence around Paige. The new Paige had shown that she could stand up for herself; that she could say no to Emily. And Emily didn't think that she could handle being rejected by Paige a third time. She sobbed a couple of times in the driver's seat, shaking her head. She had to let go. Wiping her eyes and letting out a pained sigh, she backed out of the parking spot and headed home.
"Tammi," Paige burped out after slamming down the vodka. She leaned towards Tammi's barstool with her hand extended to caress Tammi's cheek. The movement was too much for her in her drunken state; the angle a bit too severe. She tumbled off of her stool and onto the floor.
In a second, Madisyn had athletically jumped over the bar and lifted Paige off the ground by the belt loops on the back of her jeans. Paige put her hands up, to show that she was okay, and then pointed at the object in Madisyn's hand. "Um... excuse me, barkeep, but I believe that's my phone," she said, trying to sound amusing and clever.
Maidsyn turned the phone around and showed Paige the screen. "I got you an Uber," she said in a soft, soothing voice. Paige raised her finger to protest. "Go home, Paige," Madisyn urged her, sympathetically but firmly.
Paige put her hand down and nodded her head slowly, embarrassed, but not too drunk to know that Madisyn was right. She wasn't the first drunk patron whom Madisyn had sent home in an Uber. Paige turned in the direction of Tammi, who was standing behind her with her hand on her back, to make sure that she was all right. Paige shrugged her shoulders and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Bye," Tammi said softly, drawing out the word, her eyebrows raised hopefully.
"Some other night, perhaps," Paige mumbled. She fished a roll of mints from the inside pocket of her jacket and popped one into her mouth.
She really didn't like the taste of vodka.
Deep down, she was happy that nothing had come of her minor flirtation with Tammi. It wouldn't have been fair to Tammi - or to herself. She quickly adjusted her hair and her jacket and stumbled towards the door.
Madisyn looked at one of the busboys and tilted her head in Paige's direction. He nodded and set off, following Paige at a discreet distance (so as not to injure her pride even more) until she was safely inside the car.
It had been stupid of Paige to get drunk. It was even stupider of her to get drunk over Emily. She shook her head, grateful, at least, that she hadn't done anything even stupider. She sighed heavily, thinking how much easier her life had been when Emily was three and a half states away.
The Uber driver had some sappy radio station on, playing sappy love songs. Paige supposed that it was a deliberate choice on her driver's part, as a way to generate bigger tips: Picking up couples on a Friday night; if the music puts the girl in the mood, the guy might feel a little more generous.
The station was doing a dedication – Paige didn't know that radio stations even did those anymore. She listened as some woman kept going on and on, making a dedication to her high school sweetheart, with whom she'd reconnected after thirty-four years.
Thirty-four years? The thought alone was almost enough to sober Paige up. That's a lifetime! Strictly speaking, it was more than a lifetime for Paige, who was still a couple of years shy of her thirtieth birthday. She couldn't imagine wasting all that time in bars looking for someone like Tammi to distract her for the evening.
And the night hadn't even been about Tammi. It had been about Alison. Paige kicked herself. How long would she let herself be caught up in that trap? Maybe Caleb was right. Maybe she - not Emily - was the one who needed to get over Alison. After all, Emily had left Alison at the table and run after her. Paige had never seen that before. It wasn't like Rosewood, after Alison reappeared, and Emily tried to convince the two of them that they needed to get along. This time, it was obviously another one of Alison's tricks, and Paige knew that she shouldn't punish Emily for Alison's shenanigans.
Nor should she punish herself. She could hold onto her pride and tell herself that she won - that she put Emily in her place - and go on with her life, settling for a series of Tammis instead of taking her shot with the real thing - the one and only true love of her life.
The choice wasn't hard.
"Stop the car!" Paige screamed urgently.
The driver glanced at her in the rear view mirror and then whipped his head around purposefully. "You going to throw up?" he asked, panicked. He took a peek at the road and steadied the steering wheel before returning his accusing gaze to Paige. He really hated these drunk-runs from Hawkeye Hank's. Every time that address showed up in the app, he swore to himself that it would be his last pick-up from there.
Paige waved her hand at him weakly. "No, no… I…"
"Don't you dare throw up on my brand new upholstery!"
"No, I'm fine," Paige assured him, trying to sound sober. "I… I caught it. I'm good."
That moment of panic by the driver was enough to knock Paige back into her senses. She wasn't going to show up drunk on Emily's doorstep, in the middle of the night. Emily deserved better than that.
All those years in high school, she wanted Emily to be the one who came to her. And that's exactly what Emily had done. She had made the effort. She had humbled herself. And, despite a total lack of encouragement from Paige, she had persisted.
Paige was going to go to Emily. That much was decided. But she wasn't going to stumble over there, drunk out of her mind, and babble some incoherent make-up speech. She was going to do it the right way. The only problem was, she didn't have a clue what the right way was. She only knew that she needed to figure it out, quickly.
dolphin_shark _ hey, caleb.
batcave5150 _ hang on.
Paige swiped up on her phone. "Caleb?"
"You sound hungover."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Fair enough." Caleb heard the sound of slurping, followed by a contented, "Ahhh."
"Starbucks?"
"You know it," Paige muttered. "I was that girl, stumbling into Starbucks at 9 in the morning in dark sunglasses and my walk-of-shame clothes."
"Okay, Paige..." Caleb didn't sound judgmental. He sounded almost fatherly.
"Nothing like that," Paige croaked, realizing what she had just said.
"Oh, thank God," Caleb exclaimed. "I mean, not that you're not entitled, just... well, it's not going to help you get to where you need to go."
Paige sighed. "Yeah, about that..."
"Did you take my advice?"
"I thought a lot about it."
Paige gave him a quick update on the Emily situation, which turned into a rather lengthy history lesson of their relationship's ups and downs since middle school. Much of it Caleb knew, and he'd been getting a lot of the more recent history from Hanna, but Paige needed to put it into words; to process it through in her own mind before she tried to process it with Emily. Caleb was a good sounding-board. That attribute pretty much came with the territory, dating Hanna.
Paige's FitBit was going off the charts, counting her steps as she paced around her apartment, arms flailing, while she talked to Caleb. It was registering stress levels that she hadn't seen since Stanford.
"You've always put her first," Caleb said, recapping what he'd heard, "but, lately, you've realized that you need to start looking out for yourself."
"Yeah." Paige rolled her eyes. "And look where that got me. I swear, Caleb, I don't even know how I can be so…"
"Paige." His voice was steady as ever; no ups and downs, no panic. It was the calming influence that Paige needed at that moment. "It's never wrong to look out for yourself. Or for Emily. But you have to realize – both of you have to realize – that it's not either-or. You have to learn how to look out for yourselves – the 'selves' that you two are becoming together."
Paige chuckled. "I don't remember you being so Zen."
"I'm not telling you anything that you already know."
"I suppose…" Paige's voice trailed off. "But what I don't know is, how do I make it right?"
"Just go."
"Just… go." Paige's tone made it obvious that she didn't know what he meant.
"Yeah. Don't overcomplicate things. Just go to her. You'll figure it out. You guys always have."
That reminder was just what Paige needed to hear. She had been so hung up on the problems of their relationship that she had forgotten about the good times. The times they'd figured it out. The time Emily told that she was looking for someone when she came to Paige's house, or the time she told her that she wanted to be with her, and only her, away from Rosewood. Those confessions had followed hard times. There had always been an up after the down. "Away from this town…" Emily's words echoed in Paige's ear. They had made it. It wasn't Stanford, but they were out of Rosewood – away from all its intrigue and drama. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was their time.
Paige paced back and forth in the lobby of Emily's building, trying to figure out what she was going to say and how she was going to say it.
Just go…
Caleb's voice echoed in her mind. She told herself that she would know what to say when she was face to face with Emily. She wasn't sure that she believed that, but she either had to go with that plan or waste another night at home, hoping in vain that she would be able to figure it all out in advance. In the end, she realized that it didn't matter. She could be pretty convincing, when she was talking to herself, but whenever she saw Emily, she forgot what she wanted to say.
All I can remember is I love you. She had been pretty harsh with Emily. Maybe, if she said it just right, it would be enough.
Paige's heart was pounding as she paced back and forth in the lobby. She swiveled quickly and gasped as she almost crashed into the pizza guy, who had come up behind her. Something told her that this was it; this was her chance. As the pizza guy pulled out his phone to see where he was going, Paige blurted out, "Apartment 49C?"
He looked her up and down. "Fields?"
Paige smiled widely. That sealed it. Even though it was just a pizza, it was as if the Fates were on her side. She nodded, lying confidently as she pointing at the box in his hand, "That's my pizza!"
The guy handed the phone to her, showing her where to sign with her finger, to approve the charges and confirm the delivery. As she signed Emily's name, the pizza guy gave a nod to the flowers in her other hand. "Big night?"
She crossed her fingers, handing him back his phone. "Wish me luck!"
He checked her signature as he handed over the pizza. "Good luck, Em!" It was then that Paige realized she had signed her name as "Em Fields."
"Oh!" Page caught him before he made it out of the door, opening her wallet and handing him a twenty. He deserved to know that Em Fields was a generous tipper. Besides, she could use all the good karma that she could get.
Paige rang the doorbell three times, in quick succession, when she got to Emily's apartment. She knew how annoying Emily found that, and she smiled at the thought that she was both literally and figuratively pushing Emily's buttons.
"Just a second," Emily called out pleasantly from inside the apartment. On hearing that, Paige mischievously rang the bell another three times.
"Just a second!" Emily's voice was louder and more annoyed.
It was bad enough that she was going to eat an entire large meat lover's pizza by herself, alone in her apartment on a Friday night. She didn't need attitude from the pizza guy on top of it.
She muted the TV – the first movie of her planned marathon on the Hallmark Romance Channel – and slid into her oversized fuzzy slippers, pulling a well-worn but comfy robe over her pajamas. A box of tissues and a box of wine sat on the coffee table, awaiting her return. They would both be empty by the time her night was over.
It wasn't that she was depressed, exactly. She'd had plenty of time to work through that. She just needed a night off from everything.
Paige was about to ring the bell again when she saw the doorknob twist and completely lost all of her nerve. Her heart was pounding again. She had the feeling that she was about to make the biggest mistake of her young life.
Emily, a full head of steam, was all set to give the pizza guy a piece of her mind. Her jaw dropped at the sight of Paige on the other side of the threshold. "Paige?" she said weakly.
Emily knew that a first-year assistant coach didn't make a lot of money, but she had no idea that Paige was moonlighting as a pizza delivery guy. When she saw the flowers, it seemed to good to be true. "I…" She still wasn't quite putting it together. "Paige?"
You could have given her a hundred guesses, and she never would have predicted that she would see Paige when she opened the door.
"Emily, I'm so sorry…"
Emily threw her arms around Paige. In the confusion, the pizza box and the flowers tumbled to the floor. "Don't tell me you're sorry," she said, clinging tightly to Paige. "Tell me you're back."
"I'm…" Paige, too, was having a hard time keeping up with the turn of events. "I'm… Yes, Em. I'm here. I'm back."
A/N - And... there's the hug that we all needed after that last chapter! :)
Also, I'm going to need another chapter to wrap things up... but only one, I promise! Thanks for sticking with me this far! 3
