Knew it was too good to be true.

Ash was struggling to hold back his own hand.

The deadites got into my right hand and it went bad years ago. So I lopped it off at the Wrist.

It was kind of a modern day "Farewell to Arms." Never read it myself. but the title says it all.

That was the beginning of the time as the chosen one.

Ash slammed aside the door of the cabin and exited.

This little scene is just the latest deadeye kick in the balls. When stuff like this happens to you regularly, you learn real quick to wear a cap every day. Hazard of the job and all.

Ash: uhhnn..Gotts get to the tool shed.

Ash slammed through the door and found the toolshed and began to look around.

Ash:Come on! Where is it?!

He spotted the wall of tools. There was a distinctive outline of where the chainsaw would be but no chainsaw. Ash paused for a moment and the the door burst open, in burst an obese man in a brown apron, wearing a stitched mask of flesh and Wielding a Chainsaw, screaming like a mad man. Ash's eyes widened. He turned to face the wall of tools again and found that all the tools were gone, and he took off running from the Chainsaw wielding maniac. He realized he was trapped as the chainsaw wielding maniac came towards him. Suddenly a metal see through door slammed down, severing the arms of the man, which still held the chainsaw, causing it to fall to the floor with the dismembered limb still attached. The chainsaw wielding man screamed. Ash was confused and still shocked. He look around and found he was no longer in the shack. He was in some king of glass box with metal sides. He was still struggling with his hand. Thinking quickly he reached for the chainsaw with his free hand, grabbed it's handled. Ash fell to the ground to stead himself. The clawed hand still struggled as he grabbed the Chainsaw, and severed his own hand. Blood splattered on his face and he screamed.

Once the deed was done he fell back onto the metal of the square room, exhausted, grabbing his stump.

Ash:Yeah...Bad hand...that's been done before. Freaking Deadites got no imagination. Handled it then, can handle it now.

Ash was hit with a realization.

Ash: Wait a bloody minute...this already happened to me back at the cabin. How's it happening again?

He did not notice but a drop of blood fell from his nose had the laughing face of Freddy Kreuger within in. It fell into a pull of blood onto the floor.

Ash:What the Hell?!

The Blood on the floor showed the reflection of Freddy Krueger, all of which began speaking to him.

Freddy: What's the matter, Ash? Having a little deja vu?

Another Freddy spoke.

Freddy:If the bloody trip down memory lane with you and your right hand got you all weepy-eyed for those quiet special nights, just wait'll you see this one...

One of the reflections of Freddy emerged from the blood. there was now a tiny Freddy and shortly after several others began to emerge from the blood.

"or two...or three...Come on, boys. Let's boogie!"

Ash was grabbing his wounded stump and sitting on the wall.

Ash: No. Not you little bastards again.

The Freddy's spoke with tiny voices. Ash began to step on the tiny Freddy's, who ran towards him and tried to crawl onto his body towards his face.

"Welcome to our Nightmare"

"One,Two, Little Freddies for you."

"Three,Four,Better watch the Floor."

"Five, six, gonna gut you quick."

Ash used his hand to smash the Freddy's. One of them crawled onto his neck and he crushed it with his head, where it became a splash of blood on his shirt.

"Seven, eight, never gonna wake"

The blood on the floor began to assemble and rise up to form a shape. The shape go Freddy Krueger.

Freddy: Nine, ten, Freddy's whole again.

Freddy struck a pose, raising his hands dramatically.

Freddy:Ahhh...that's better. It's good to finally be out of that hillbilly Jason's freakish skull. I mean really, there are only so many times one can stand dueling banjos and screwing-your-mother fantasies before even a bastard like me loses it.

Ash picked himself up.

Ash: Look, I don't know what kind of effed-up Deadite you are or how you brought me back to that cabin, but you save me the hassle of tracking down your flame broiled ass. Hand over the Necronomicon and we can finish this undead dance once and for all.

Freddy: Oh I'm no Deadite. Name's Krueger. Freddy Krueger.

He lifted his hand and the lost hand Ash had severed was raised into the air, floating over Freddy's hand.

Freddy: And this is the dreamscape, my little corner of the world to do with as I please. All the world's my plaything and while you're here, sleeping Beauty, I'm the king.

He straightened up.

Freddy: Now I have a needle headed little problem. See I need blood to bring myself back and turns out being a dream demon has its perks, cause your dream blood worked just fine. I just had to make you bleed more than any real meatbag should. Easy trick for me, I once ate a kid and spat out a geyser. course, being a meat puppet doesn't really work for me so I need you to use the Necronomicon to free me, since I've no idea how to read it myself passed what Pinhead tells me. But first, let's play a little game of pin the claw on the Elvis impersonator, shall we?

The floating claw shifted like a spider ready to pounce. Freddy performed a flawless impersonation.

Freddy: "Thank yew, thank yew very much!"

The floating claw lunged off freddy's own and leaped at Ash. Ash quickly shifted up and fired with his shotgun at the arm. There was a loud boom and the claw was knocked back. It fell to the floor, smoking,twitched and then loosened like a dead Spider. Ash lowered the smoking tip of the gun.

Ash:Yeah, See, I've never been very good at party games. 'cept ones involving pretty chicks and dark closets. So let's try a different game. Something like "truth or die." You said this was a dream right?. I know how this works. If I think hard enough I can make shit happen my way.

He held up the gun.

Ash:Like with my trusty boomstick.

He placed the gun across his right arm, which was missing the hand.

Ash:Or like how my hand stopped bleeding and I haven't passed out yet. Now make with the answers, dead Astaire. Why the hell you put me in a glass cube.

Freddy: Wasn't my idea? I thought it was yours. Sometimes I like twisting a dream someone's already having.

Ash became serious.

Ash:Then where the hell are we?

Freddy slowly turned around, as if looking at the camera. for a while the two stared into darkness. And then they were caught off guard by the visage of a beast, biting with fangs at the two. Upon closer inspection the creature in question appeared to be a massive werewolf. It attacked ravenously. but then seemed to shift, revealing it was in a cube of it's own which moved away from them.

Freddy:down boy.

Ash: You sure ya haven't got a damn clue what's going on?

Behind them on a glass a ghostly hand was placed. Ash turned around slowly and so did Freddy. The mist floated and then took a skeletal face.

Freddy: How's that for Dead air.

Ash: Deadite. you Dumbass.

The cube shifted up and so did the one they were in.

Ash: Well why aren't you trying to kill me?

Freddy: It's no fun when I'm not pulling the strings.

"I AM THE ONE PULLING THE STRINGS!"

Ash and Freddy turnedtoface the speaker. A mist filled the area, making it seem as if the wall vanished, From the mist rose the form of Pinhead. Freddy looked away in frustration. There was a silence.

Ash:...who the hell are you?

"I...AM...PAIN!"

Ash:...Hi Pain...Name's Ash.

"I KNOW DAMN WELL WHO YOU ARE!"

Ash: Great now can we get back to killing each other?

"What sort of Puppet Master Would I be if I allowed my Puppets to destroy one another."

Ash: Puppet? Whoa! Whoa! Hey! I ain't your puppet.

He held his good hand out and several hooks appeared suddenly. emerging from his arm. He looked all over his body and found hooks sticking out of him, imitating strings and digging into his flesh.

"You look like a Puppet to me"

Ash tried to speak but he couldn't as some of the hooks were digging into the sides of his mouth, giving him a cartoonish rictus grin and holding his eyelids open.

"And you have a part to play"

Ash's eyes widened as much as they could given the hooks.

"I seek to retire from my position among the Cenobites...But I require a worthy successor and that...Is not you."

Freddy couldn't help but smile behind his clawed glove.

" The Nightmare may secede me. I have another purpose for you...Ashley J Williams."

The Demon turned and gestured out to the glass.

"Welcome...to the UNDERTAKING!"

(Camera pans out to reveal a large area filled with massive cubes).

Ash and Freddy stared outward, not like Ash had a choice. The cube on the immediate left contained a giant crawling Tarantula which circled around in its prison. On the right was a ballet dancer with a horrifying maw where her face should be. Other creatures were placed in various different cubes, including a pair of wolves, a Demonlike creature with outstretched wings sitting on the floor. A massive Snake. A clown who was pointing and laughing at Ash with a white head and red puffed hair and a single red balloon, a large metallic robotic doglike creature that kept slamming in the same wall. A pair of twin girls looking at him. A batlike creature, several zombies compressed together, a massive centipede, and many many others.

Ash woke up screaming.

He quickly inspected himself. There was a burn on his hand but none of the needles had left marks.

Ash: So this Freddy guy can make dream stuff real but this Pain guy can't.

An idea crawled into his head and he stood up with renewed vigor.

Ash: Get up! Everyone get up now!

Caroline yawned.

Caroline:Ash? what happened?

"What the hell man? I was just gettin busy with..."

Caroline was shaking one of her friends.

Caroline: Dave won't wake up!

Ash: Come on, kid! Wake up before it's too late!

Ina strangely bright world several people all wearing white T shirts and blue shorts stood together. Each of them except Dave had exaggerated features, overtly muscular men with small heads, wimpy skinny kids with inhalers, glasses and acne women with large breasts.

"What the" said Dave, confused as to how he was there

All right, boys and girls, time to pick sides. Chet, and Selma, you're the team Captains.

Chet: I'll take fat Willie,Easy Suzie, and Ted the Sp'ed.

Selma: I'll take Betty Blue Balls, Pencil Dick,and Two-Ton Thelma.

Dave: Um...what about me?

Chet and Selma began arguing.

Chet: oh, no! I'm not taking Dickless Dave. You take him for the Dyke Squad.

Selma: No Freakin way! I'm not taking him. You take him!

The coach walked up to both of them.

"Hey Hey, Hey break it up! Neither one of you has to take him."

The coach turned to face Dave him, revealing the face of Freddy Krueger. He held up a Dodgeball, and wore a baseball cap with a large red S.

Freddy: Dickless Davy here thinks he was a shot with perky little Caroline in Chemistry class.

A clawed glove popped out of his hand and scraped against the ball, creating sparks.

Freddy: But that little whore only likes the jocks. What say we see how big your balls are, boy? you up for a little "Dodgeball?"

All students turned to face him and raised the Dodgeballs. Dave took off running.

Dave:You're all crazy! I've gotta get outta here!

Balls were thrown.

He shielded his head while he ran. The Dodgeballs became imbedded in the walls. A dodged ball burst through his chest and his head fell backward with his hands outstretched. In reality he spat blood form his mouth and appeared to be choking.

Caroline:No! Davy!

"What the Hell's going on!

Ash: Krueger's got him in the dream. If we don't get him up now, he ain't coming back.

In the dream Dave was huddling in fetal position with the students surrounding him.

"Come on kid, walk it off."

"man up"

Dave was pleading now. Freddy raised the dodgeball.

Freddy: Balls to the Wall Kids!

He blew into his whistle enough to spit.

Several dodgeballs went flying. Dave got up and tried to run to the door of a gym. He turned as he ran across a blue painted brick wall of the gym. The balls collided. One Dodgeball hit his head and squished it like a tomato, sending blood and eyeballs rest squished his body. In the real world Caroline screamed! as the body of Dave was suddenly flattened. In the dream all that was left was a blue wall soaked in red blood like paste.

Freddy stood in a cabin with Jason at his side.

Freddy:Ahahahaha! That felt good! I'm finally strong enough to get my hands a little dirty! Old pin head never said anything about the kids.

He walked to the other end of the room

Freddy: That ought to shake up the little brats. It seems that have a self proclaimed hero among the sheep. He's on his way here to stop us from using the book.

Freddy turned to face Jason, whose head was down.

Freddy: Now, listen up good, gimpy-here's your part. Take your rotted momma's boy corpse out there and slaughter them when they show up. Take down this Ash Williams first. We can enjoy killing the kids afterward.

Jason's head rose and he began waling towards the entrance.

Freddy:Now get out there and so some killing. I've got some heavy reading to do.

On the winter streets at night van was driving. Snow was hitting the windshield.

Ash: There's nothing you could have done, Caroline. This Freddy Krueger is some kind of demon that kills people while they sleep. If we didn't wake up we'd be dead too. Dave would want us to take these monsters down.

The van drove through police tape to the S-Mart, and parked.

Ash:The cops split hours ago but we still have to be careful. Let's get the gear we need and then we can go after the book.

Ash opened the Mart doors with his keys and the four entered and marched inside.

Ash: Stock up on weapons and explosives. Raoul and Jarvis. take this list and start shopping. Raoul took the list. Carrie and I will grab the rest of the supplies and meet you back here. The faster the better. come on. Chop-chop.

Raoul and Jarvis gathered the supplies, pushing wheelbarrows filled with things.

Raoul: This is so screwed up, man. Dave was a dweeb, but damn. I don't wanna end up like that. Freakin' squashed like a roach.

Jarvis: What choice do we have? Either hacked to pieces by Jason or killed in your sleep by Freddy? We're boned man!

Ash was also carrying supplies.

Caroline: What are we going to do Ash?

Ash:Keep it together, sweet cheeks. We just need to get the book. Once I've got the Necronomicon. We can send both of these dead heads to hell. Just stay with the program. Don't do something movie-chick stupid and we'll be fine.

Sometime later the van arrived at the Voorhees home.

Ash: Next stop, Voorheen central. Let's do this boys and girls.

Raoul dn Jarvis carried the supplies where Ash instructed.

Ash: Let's rig up the explosives over there on the porch. We'll lure tall, dark and undead to this spot and bring the whole house down on him.

He opened and reached into the trunk.

Ash: I'm going to of inside and get the book. As long as we don't fall asleep we shouldn't have to worry about Freddy.

Caroline:Ash? What are you doing?

Ash pulled his chainsaw, which was now silver.

Ash: Upgrading to chain lightning. oh, yeah. This baby can cut through a steel beam-it ought to make quick work of ol' slap shot if he shows up before we get the book.

Ready, he turned back to everyone.

Ash: This is it. Remember-when you see Jason, lead him back here to the explosives. Toss the bait and take cover.

He turned to Caroline.

Ash:Carrie, hide in the van and when an old dead head steps onto the porch, click the remote and blow him to kibbles 'n bits.

He addressed everyone.

Ash: Now, this is the most important part. Don't get killed. I have enough blood on my hands to last a lifetime. I don't need a couple of dipshit kids and another cute girl to die because I couldn't take down the demons quick enough.

Caroline: Ash...be careful.

In the nearby woods, Raoul and Jarvis walked through with flashlights.

Raoul: Man, what the hell was we thinking volunteering for this shit?

Jarvis: don't worry, bro. You an' me gonna take out this prick.

Raoul: He's like the zombies from some horror flick-you know, the slow moving mofos that stop and growl for brains or sumthin' before they rip off the hot chick's shift an' gnaw on her knobs.

Jarvis: Man I'd like to gnaw on Carrie's kno...

The flashlight moved up and caught sight of Jason in between the trees in front of him. They screamed and took off running while shouting in fear.

Jarvis: Plant the bait! Plant the bait!

Raoul dropped a red small bag into the snow, which landed with a thud.

Both ran to the car and hid behind it. Jason walked behind them, seemingly passing the area the two were hiding.

Raoul: Shit. Jarvis, I just pissed myself.

Jarvis:shhh...he's taking the bait.

Jason approached the dropped package, pausing and reaching towards it.

"Ch-Ch-Ch"

Jason stopped and began to look up, their head twisting in curiosity.

"Ah-Ah-Ah"

Jason began to walk towards the house. Caroline from her hiding spot, holding a gun, within inside the car.

Caroline: No. He can't know it's a trap...

Jason turned to look in her direction and she hid.

Caroline:...He can't...

Jason raised his hand and wagged a finger.

With his other hand he pulled out his machete. Caroline nervously looked up to see Jason standing above her, reflecting off the car window.

Inside the house Ash walked cautiously inside.

Ash: All right. Where are you? I know you're in here.

He spotted it. Next to it was a fedora.

Ash: Ah-ha! Necronomicon Excrapus, the book of the shitty dead.

He reached towards it.

Ash: Now let's get those banishment passages and finish this.

Suddenly a clawed gloved hand burst through his should and he screamed in pain. Ash fell to the ground. Freddy Krueger pulled his hand out of his shoulder.

Freddy: Oops...Did I do that? Shame, Shame, Shame, I really need to work on my aim.

Ash turned to look at him.

Ash:Krueger.

Freddy: In the charcoal-burned flesh. Now if you don't mind, please hand over my book. Thanks to you and that bastard Cenobite, I'm finally free of Jason and ready to show these kids what real terror is.

Ash:Wait, how are you here? Did I fall asleep?

Freddy: did I fall asleep? Did I fall asleep? Stop your sniveling, Pussy. Thanks to those deadeye passages I'll have dominion over the waking and the dream worlds. So just hand it over and the children of Elm Streets everywhere will suffer night and day like never before.

Despite his great injury and hole in his shoulder. Ash picked himself up.

Ash: Yeah, keep talking, shredded beef. I'm the chosen one- at least that's what they kept telling me and my business is putting down possessed creeps like you. I'll stop you before you read the book and send your shriveled ass back to hell.

Freddy;Stop me? Stop me? Oh, that's rich. You can't stop me...

He held his hands out.

Freddy: I did it ten minutes ago.

There was a bright light that emerged form him that caused Ash to shield his eyes. Demonic faces appeared around him. Like streams they shot out of him, glowing golden. Outside Jason was confused as the glowing serpents surrounded his body. He turned back to look at the house.

Ash got up and charged his chainsaw.

Ash: Already did it. Dammit I shoulda seen that coming.

Ash opened fire with his boomstick. The shots seem to go through Freddy, as they were embedded in the wall behind him.

Ash:...ah shit...

Several gloved Krueger hands shot out and pinned Ask to the wall.

Krueger: How's that for a hand job. Time for the chosen one to check out.

Of anyone Ash expected to save him. Jason was the last one. The undead corpse burst through the wooden door.

Freddy turned to face him, while keeping Ash pinned.

Freddy: What's this? All I did for you and now you want to pick a fight? What would mommy dearest have to say?

He lifted his glove into the air.

Freddy: Well...I happen to know a few people that have a bone to pick with you. Say hello to all your past Victims Bitch!

Corpselike arms burst out of the wooden floorboards. Jason looked down as they grabbed his legs and tried to pull him under. His legs disappeared as he was engulfed by a swarm of his past victims. They clawed at his mask. With his one free hand he reached towards the laughing form of Freddy Krueger before he was engulfed in hands blending together to shield everything in black.

TO BE CONTINUED...