Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, or any associated characters or concepts. Consider it disclaimed. Quotes in this chapter taken directly from The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien.
Summary: On the way to the Undying Lands, Billa is eaten by a time-traveling sea monster. The elves on board attack the monster in retaliation, and it escapes by swimming into the past: several decades into the past. Billa wakes up in a sweat, gasping and frightened, only to realize that she is back in her thirty-three-year old body. What on earth is she going to do?
Chapter 6
After a few minutes of smugly enjoying Kili's stunned silence, Billa finally took pity on him. After all, it must have been quite a shock to be set upon by several Men, and then rescued by a stranger who was much smaller and totally unknown to him. And, she reminded herself, he had been of age and war-trained when she had met him last. Currently, he looked like a lad in his tweens with still-rounded cheeks and lanky limbs. She smirked as she saw his jaw was totally bare, no wispy beard or stubble at all. Feeling her heart ping with pity for the young lad, she engaged him in conversation.
"So tell me, Master Dwarf, are you by chance a blacksmith, or traveling with one?" His mouth gaped open and shut a few times before he mulishly set his chin and stayed silent. Ah, still so suspicious. What was it with these Durin males and refusing to answer questions? She decided she would have to chatter at him until he broke. Few could withstand her in full chatter-mode, and it was one of the only interrogation methods that Durin males were actually vulnerable to.
"You see," she began, "I was in my smial in Hobbiton, Bag End, very respectable and the best smial in all the shire, having a friend over for afternoon tea - my cakes are the best, Master Dwarf, the secret is to add just a smidgeon of honey when you're setting them out, but I trust you not to share that information - when I heard the most terrible and appalling rumor. I myself couldn't believe it, and actually laughed out loud at the joke, only to discover that Halfast - my gardener, very good man. He has such a way with the tomatoes, he wins prizes every year at the Fair! - actually sincerely believed the rumor was true! Unconscionable. I simply couldn't believe it. Nor could I let the slight to my great great grandfather, the best hobbit smith of the Shire, stand! As his grandson's favorite grandchild -and the only one who inherited both his nose shape and toe-hair curls - I had to defend his honor. I've come all the way from the Shire to prove the rumors wrong, only now I'm here and I've been searching all day and I haven't managed to find a dwarf anywhere-"
At this, Kili faltered. "You mean you're the one who's been asking about us?" She eyed him swiftly, noting how quickly his mouth clamped shut after the involuntary question. Still not broken. Chatter-mode continued.
"Of course I've been looking for you! I arrived last night, and had such a maaaarvelous hot bath waiting for me, and the beds were so perfectly soft after a week on the road! I must have slept for over twelve hours. Then I spent today at the market because, my goodness, my very sturdiest trousers weren't quite sturdy enough for travel - and wearing a dress on the road is just so old-fashioned, you get dirty ankles and all sorts of funny looks, so I simply had to wear trousers, and when I got here they were all worn through - so I spent the day getting measured and fitted and now I have a pair of the most marvelous travel-trousers! Here, look at them!" She paused by a lamp light and tugged on his arm to stop him. They were about halfway down the road, and she could see his resolve to be silent, stoic and suspicious was weakening under the onslaught of completely innocuous conversation. He would break soon. Meanwhile she pointed out a foot and turned her leg this way and that, exclaiming over the new trousers.
"And it's reinforced with leather, isn't that marvelous? And so sturdy, why I bet they could stand up to months of daily travel! The shopman said this leather was taken from his very finest selection of cattle-leathers, isn't that nice? It looks so very fine, doesn't it? And it's all so flatteringly slimming! Why, don't you think that -"
Inside, Kili was panicking. He knew he'd get into trouble as soon as he had snuck out of his room against Uncle's orders. Uncle had said there was someone looking for them in all the inns, and to remain out of sight no matter what. But he'd been so curious about Bree as he'd never been there before, and Uncle and Fili were out doing king in training stuff as Fili had mocked him before they left. Hurt and angry to be left out, he had snuck away to explore the town. He'd been careful to stay on the opposite side of town, away from where Fili and Thorin were likely to be. He hadn't wanted them to see him, after all. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the side of town where dwarves were not welcome, and he had been dragged away from his table and out of the pub before a gang of men set into him. He had given his best, punching and kicking with all his strength, but then they had drawn knives, and he became very much aware that he was surrounded, outnumbered, and unarmed, and he was probably going to be killed or grievously hurt. Still, he wasn't going to give up without a fight, so he had stood his ground, glaring them down and daring them to finish what they started. It was then that a high-pitched war-cry came from nowhere, and a man-child appeared in front of him, flailing rather effectively with- was that a walking stick?- and defending him.
For a moment, all he could feel was the sweet, almost sickly sense of relief. He wasn't alone, and he wasn't going to die. This was followed swiftly by a swelling tide of embarrassment that drowned any gratitude or friendliness he might have mustered. This creature was so much smaller than him, and yet had been strong enough to drive them off where a prince of the line of Durin had failed! Fili could have saved himself, but not Kili. He was a failure. Kili was reminded, like a punch in the gut, that he was in fact alone, and while this stranger may have protected him for now, that usually meant there was a price to pay. Uncle's bitter words echoed in his mind. If it seems too good to be true, it is. Never trust an outsider. No one will help you unless you help yourself. Never tell our secrets. If you are questioned, remain silent. Just like that, suspicion rose in his mind. Why had this manchild - halfling?- helped him? What did he -SHE?- want from him?
Just as he was about to demand explanations, she took his arm, batted her eyelashes at him like a coy dwarf-lass, and proceeded to chatter almost non-stop about tea and rumors and honor, and then a question had burst from his lips without thinking, and then she was chattering about trousers and shaking her leg at him and he was so confused and she seemed so harmless and he was starting to feel so beastly for ignoring her and honestly, what would it hurt to talk with her and tell her his name? She'd been so kind after all, and really, it was impossible to be suspicious of her and he felt so bad for doubting her, and when she went to take his arm again after showing off her new (quite handsome, really) trousers, he did the gallant thing and took her hand, bowed low over it and kissed her knuckles. Wouldn't his mother be so proud of his impeccable manners?
"Kili, son of Dis, at your service my lady. You have my heartfelt thanks for your daring rescue and it is my pleasure to escort you wherever you wish."
Billa giggled over his gallantry and introduced herself in return, but inside, she was smirking at the scoreboard.
Chatterbox: 1. Stoic, silent, stubborn son of Durin: 0.
